This puzzles me.

The Tec Law Journal. ^ | 6/16/02 | Pocketfullofshells

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Excellent rant, Sir........excellent!

[razorback-bert]

I just wanted a beer.

[ofMagog]

Got a question for you more smarter folks. My wife went ashore to a video rental to get some movies for the crew. I noticed at the beginning of one about it being edited to fit the size of my screen. How did they know the size of my screen!!?? I thought I had a good security system. How did they get aboard to measure my screen? What else did they do? This is gonna worry me terribly until one of you clarifies it for me.

[ofMagog]

We're outta Shultz...

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Of, "They" know everything.......don't worry....one of your former girlfriends ratted you out and told them the size of your "screen"............... lol

[SarahW]

I think you have to exceed parameters of an algorithm set by the moderators.

The occasional letter inversion or mishap (letter drop, repeat or substitution, etc.) is discarded by the algorithm.

Only the truly atrocious, non-joking speller will find himself on the wrong side of an opus. Except for you. You are banned right this minute.

:)

[Lady Jag]

CANDIDATE FOR A PULLET SURPRISE
by Jerrold H. Zar

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.

[ofMagog]

Shhhhhhh.
My wife performs only one medical procedure on males and I'm no newborn...

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Oops!!!!!

[ofMagog]

You cudda told him:

There is no hope.
You might as well give up.
It is the end.
You are doomed.
There is no forgiveness.
You have sinned.
It is too late for confession.
Apologies will do no good.
You will spend years posting rambling religious rants on FR,
using myriad random large fonts and various silly colors
and will be smeared with cheese daily.

Shame shall run down your leg and squish in your shoes.
Others will laugh at you.
No one will offer sympathy.
A moose will bite your sister.
No one will care.

Your screams will go unheard.

Your name will be erased.

Day after day after day after day you will suffer.

Finally, when you think nothing could be worse,

that there could be no worse torment than this,

that no one could possibly reject you more,

.

you will become a lawyer.

[ofMagog]

NOOOOO!

Whatever you do,
don't say,"Oops!!!!!"

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

ROFL.........since I have a son, I guess I should have been more sensitive in my response.......you are correct.....never say "Oops" to a pediatrician..........! lol

[CounterCounterCulture]

Workers of the World Unite!

...against high taxation and pur speling (and Rage Against the Machine lyrics)!!!!!

[Great Dane]

Speach, sourses, tryed............ better learn to spell.

[ofMagog]

Dyslectic Marxist:
"Workers of the World Untie!"

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

You can always tell a DU creep........they post, then never respond to any comments..........lol.......cowards..........

[MissLuluBelle]

I thought that you might possibly give me your undivided attention for a few moments here to the indisputable fact that the English language is beginning to be too grossly complicated, to the degree that...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! What a wonderful gift this sentence is. One of my girlfriends and I like to go out, drink too much tequila and then try diagramming sentences. And this sentence is PERFECT for the over-tequila-ed mind!

re: post 38 on disclaimers -- Felix Gonzalez is our bartender and indeed he should be exempt for the reason stated.

[parsifal]

I got some but I kinda like it here. (BTW-What is this thread about?). Fish. parsy.

PS- Did you see the Gore's Battle Hymn thread?

[lds23]

Piece owt!

[kitkat]

Now I KNOW I'm sick. ofMagog's and Laz's long sentences made perfect sense to me. Is there any hope for me?