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Posted on 09/08/2001 2:03:26 PM PDT by Jean S

BOSTON -- The decision to tell his family he was gay didn't go well for one Bridgewater State student. His father threatened to cut him off financially and left the junior feeling "like a piece of trash."

"There's no way I could support myself," said the 22-year-old, who asked that his name not be used. "I was very, very scared."

A new scholarship offered by the school could make it easier for gay and lesbian students to break unwelcome news by helping gay students whose families refuse to support them financially.

The school says it's the only program of its kind.

The 22-year-old student's parents kept paying for school after his mother insisted, but not everyone gets that break, said communications professor Susan Holton, co-chair of the school's Safe Colleges Task Force, an advocacy group for gays.

Bob Haynor, Bridgewater's outreach education coordinator, started raising funds for the scholarship in April 2000 after meeting students who were cut off after they came out. About $8,200 has been donated so far. Haynor hopes the first awards will be given next year.

The college's Frank-Tremblay Safe Colleges Scholarship is named for lesbian folk singer Lucie Bley Tremblay, who's raised money for the scholarship, and U.S. Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., who is gay and represents the Bridgewater area.

Frank has not raised money for the scholarship but said he was flattered to be associated with it.

"The potential for rejection or the fact of rejection is a crushing blow," he said. "Add to that an inability to continue your education ... Obviously we wish this situation didn't happen but it's important to have this resource available."

Other schools have boosted financial aid for gay students cut off by parents, said Robert Schoenberg, president of the National Consortium of Directors of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Resources in Higher Education. But he was uncertain how many, if any, aim funds specifically at students who are financially estranged from parents.

Brian Camenker, president of the Parent's Rights Coalition, a Newton-based group that opposes government interference in parental duties, said the scholarship is a "complete outrage" that undermines parental authority.

"You have a state institution affirming a self-destructive and medically dangerous behavior and essentially spitting in the face of parents who know it's a horrible thing for their children to be doing," he said.

Schoenberg said gays and parents often have their first conversations about sexual orientation in the early years of college, when students are particularly dependent on parents.

"Students choose to go outside the city where they live and do some exploring and perhaps come out," he said.

In addition to private donations, school officials also expect to receive some money when the state matches private funds raised for the Bridgewater State College Foundation, of which the scholarship is part.

The fact that public money could be included is galling to Camenker.

"It's like taking your tax dollars and rubbing it in your face," he said.

But Vincent McCarthy, chairman of the Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, said that if parents "divorce" themselves financially from their children, they lose their say in the children's education.

"The bottom line is 'Tough,"' he said.

Grant sizes haven't been determined. Haynor said tuition and fees at Bridgewater are about $2,800, so even a small grant can help.

"It's more than just money," he said. "I think it's somebody saying, 'We want you to be here."'



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Bridgewater State: http://www.bridgew.edu/

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