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Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers
The Register ^ | 5/18/05 | Lester Haines

Posted on 05/18/2005 7:38:08 PM PDT by pissant

The following cautionary tale must surely rate in the top five of "most embarrassing things that can happen to you in public - ever". According to UK tabloid the Sun, a 33-year-old Welsh housewife ended up in hospital after wearing Ann Summers vibrating Passion Pants to her local Asda supermarket in Swansea.

Unfortunately, she became "so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted" then "fell against shelves and banged her head". This prompted the attendance of the paramedics who "found the black leatherette panties still buzzing". Having disabled the orgasmatronic underwear, they then whisked the senseless shopper to hospital where she made a complete recovery. Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge, discreetly concealed in a plastic bag.

To its credit, the Sun does not name the woman. We assume, however, that she will be shopping at her local Tesco for the next ten years or so, or until everyone in the Asda who witnessed her ordeal is dead or has succumbed to total amnesia - whichever comes soonest.

For the record, Ann Summers notes that Passion Pants are "Not for internal use". Now we know why. ®

(Excerpt) Read more at theregister.co.uk ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: energizerbunny; lol; moresleaze; orgasmicoverdose; pissant; sleaze; takethiscraptodu; yikes
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To: pissant

*sigh*
This is true.

But if it were told in full, people would go "What the heck?!" if not go completely insane while reading it all.

(Saran wrap can hold a 6 foot tall 150 or so pound man suspended 10 foot in the air wrapped to a tree..)


101 posted on 05/19/2005 6:07:15 AM PDT by Darksheare (Computers fear me, humans shun me, and cats love me.)
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To: Darksheare

Finally, some useful info! ;o)


102 posted on 05/19/2005 6:12:09 AM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

Intentional misuse of that info can lead to running for one's life, loss of social standing, and or friends saran wrapping you to your bed and placing you on the lawn during a good rainstorm..
*chuckle*


103 posted on 05/19/2005 6:26:39 AM PDT by Darksheare (Computers fear me, humans shun me, and cats love me.)
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To: Darksheare

I'll bear that in mind. Can this lead to a latex fetish...


104 posted on 05/19/2005 6:29:56 AM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: Mr. Jeeves

In case you missed it PING


105 posted on 05/19/2005 6:40:44 AM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

Nope.
Leads to possible splinters, and or an irrational fear of the sound of saran wrap being torn.


106 posted on 05/19/2005 7:05:37 AM PDT by Darksheare (Computers fear me, humans shun me, and cats love me.)
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To: pissant

Maureen Dowd needs a doctor's prescription for these, ASAP. ;)


107 posted on 05/19/2005 7:28:43 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("Violence never settles anything." Genghis Khan, 1162-1227)
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To: Mr. Jeeves

LOL. She needs the supersized version!


108 posted on 05/19/2005 7:30:41 AM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

Good job, pissant. Very funny.


109 posted on 05/19/2005 7:37:11 AM PDT by Finger Monkey (H.R. 25, Fair Tax Act - A consumption tax which replaces the income tax, SS tax, death tax, etc.)
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To: pissant

Hey, pissant, people are attacking you in the keywords. Apparently they feel that only DUer's have a sense of humor.


110 posted on 05/19/2005 7:38:15 AM PDT by Finger Monkey (H.R. 25, Fair Tax Act - A consumption tax which replaces the income tax, SS tax, death tax, etc.)
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To: F16Fighter
Good discretion, very admirable.
111 posted on 05/19/2005 7:41:22 AM PDT by Finger Monkey (H.R. 25, Fair Tax Act - A consumption tax which replaces the income tax, SS tax, death tax, etc.)
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To: BerthaDee

"Hey, pissant, people are attacking you in the keywords".

But I'm sure they still read the article (and placed an order)

What color would you like?


112 posted on 05/19/2005 7:42:22 AM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: martin_fierro

hee hee


113 posted on 05/19/2005 7:44:07 AM PDT by Finger Monkey (H.R. 25, Fair Tax Act - A consumption tax which replaces the income tax, SS tax, death tax, etc.)
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To: F16Fighter
goooood

Are those o's vibrating?

114 posted on 05/19/2005 7:45:51 AM PDT by Finger Monkey (H.R. 25, Fair Tax Act - A consumption tax which replaces the income tax, SS tax, death tax, etc.)
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To: pissant

What I don't get is why she went out of the house with these things on. Could she not just have worn them at home while cleaning?


115 posted on 05/19/2005 7:49:27 AM PDT by Finger Monkey (H.R. 25, Fair Tax Act - A consumption tax which replaces the income tax, SS tax, death tax, etc.)
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To: pissant

Red, please.


116 posted on 05/19/2005 7:52:07 AM PDT by Finger Monkey (H.R. 25, Fair Tax Act - A consumption tax which replaces the income tax, SS tax, death tax, etc.)
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To: pissant
Aw GEEZ!

Can't folks just get their jollies the old fashioned way?

You know, NOT is the produce isle, but the BEDROOM?

This goofball is lucky she didn't pass out in a puddle and ZOT herself!

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

117 posted on 05/19/2005 7:54:25 AM PDT by MamaTexan (The foundation of a *Republic* -- Man owes obedience to his Creator...NOT his creation!)
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To: shaggy eel

This article belongs under the "science and technology" heading. There have been amazing developments in battery performance over the last few years.


118 posted on 05/19/2005 8:38:50 AM PDT by concordKIWI
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To: pissant

I wonder if there is a surveilance video? I bet it looks hilarious!


119 posted on 05/19/2005 11:49:15 AM PDT by Feiny ( I hate the very sight of liquor, which is why I hide it in my stomach.)
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To: feinswinesuksass

Please look into the that and post the video. You will be a goddess amongst freepers. ;o)


120 posted on 05/19/2005 2:04:02 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: MamaTexan

This thing operates at a dangerous voltage? I guess that adds to the excitement.


121 posted on 05/19/2005 2:05:40 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

I already am....


122 posted on 05/19/2005 2:12:29 PM PDT by Feiny ( I hate the very sight of liquor, which is why I hide it in my stomach.)
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To: feinswinesuksass

And you wouldn't even post your pic on the Women of FR thread! Such a modest Goddess you are! ;o)


123 posted on 05/19/2005 2:15:43 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

My photo is on my homepage.....I am armed & dangerous. I am also no longer a redhead, I went back to blonde as it was too hard to remain feisty all the time.


124 posted on 05/19/2005 2:26:18 PM PDT by Feiny ( I hate the very sight of liquor, which is why I hide it in my stomach.)
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To: feinswinesuksass

I've seen your homepage. Nothing like a chick who knows how to shoot! That in itself puts you in the "near goddess" category. The red hair put you over the top. I need to reconsider that now.....over a beer. ;o)

Of course, if and when we ever meet, I'll give you the opportunity to out Guinness me for full restoration.


125 posted on 05/19/2005 2:30:03 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

Well, I usually stick to martinis in public as I tend to burp while drinking beer.


126 posted on 05/19/2005 2:33:58 PM PDT by Feiny ( I hate the very sight of liquor, which is why I hide it in my stomach.)
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To: feinswinesuksass

I like you even better then!


127 posted on 05/19/2005 2:35:18 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

for the burping, not the martinis....


128 posted on 05/19/2005 2:35:55 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

Then, you would have loved my HS crew....we made burp tapes of us belching Christmas carols.


129 posted on 05/19/2005 2:37:15 PM PDT by Feiny ( I hate the very sight of liquor, which is why I hide it in my stomach.)
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To: pissant
This thing operates at a dangerous voltage?

Hellifiknow :)

130 posted on 05/19/2005 2:41:11 PM PDT by MamaTexan (The foundation of a *Republic* -- Man owes obedience to his Creator...NOT his creation!)
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To: concordKIWI
There have been amazing developments in battery performance over the last few years.

,,, who's better than you to qualify that statement?

131 posted on 05/19/2005 4:16:22 PM PDT by shaggy eel
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To: shaggy eel

Vibrator alert!


132 posted on 05/19/2005 4:44:32 PM PDT by concordKIWI
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To: pissant


Those don't exactly strike me as "Snake-Proof" Chaps


133 posted on 05/19/2005 4:50:08 PM PDT by ExcursionGuy84 ("Follow ME." --Jesus, Son of God, The Perfect Lamb & Sacrifice.)
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To: pissant


Those don't exactly strike me as "Snake-Proof" Chaps


134 posted on 05/19/2005 4:50:14 PM PDT by ExcursionGuy84 ("Follow ME." --Jesus, Son of God, The Perfect Lamb & Sacrifice.)
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To: ExcursionGuy84

LOLOLOL!


135 posted on 05/19/2005 4:53:45 PM PDT by pissant (Pissant - Life coach extraordinaire)
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To: pissant

holy crap where do you find this stuff!!! LOL


136 posted on 05/25/2005 8:55:11 PM PDT by gdc61
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To: gdc61

It finds me!


137 posted on 05/26/2005 6:01:09 AM PDT by pissant (headache gone!)
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To: pissant

Hilarious post. I guess it's one way to make grocery shopping less boring.


138 posted on 05/28/2005 3:41:23 PM PDT by KittyKares
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To: KittyKares

Yes, now shopping for Wheaties and yogurt is a stimulating ordeal! LOL


139 posted on 05/29/2005 7:29:29 AM PDT by pissant (Ruby Red)
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To: highlander_UW

"Her husband better not say a word...ever..."

If I were her husband, I'd feel pretty darn insulted by this. And humiliated. Two and a half inches? How could I forgive her?


140 posted on 06/03/2005 8:00:03 AM PDT by Arthur Wildfire! March (<<<< Profile page streamlined, solely devoted Schiavo research)
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