DUmmie FUnnies 07-18-05 ("Tell me your fantasy...")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | July 18, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[Charles Henrickson]

Marijuana is legalized, and the War on Drugs is cut. Missile Defense is cancelled.

"Hey, man, they're saying on the news that some 'rogue missiles' are heading right here for Cincinnati!"

"Who cares, man? Just don't bogart my joint!"

[visualops]

It's really January 20, 2001

I do not want to relive 9-11 unless I can stop it. These people are insane. Their thought about going back in time isn't to undo great evil, but to institute it.

[Flux Capacitor]

----That we get this mess straightened out and can get back to our lives. Until then, I feel like heaviness hanging over absolutely every aspect of life in America. I want it to go away.----

Ladies and gentlemen, I propose we never, EVER allow the DUmmies to get back to their lives. :)

Wait.... what am I talking about? This IS their collective life.

Fortunately, most of the rest of us haven't staked our personal happiness on the outcomes of elections. Hell, I lost one just this past Saturday. So what?

-Dan

[Charles Henrickson]

Placing my hands on his body, they begin slowly searching. Hearing his simpering moans as my fingers meticulously explore every area. I turn to walk behind him...

Hoo boy! Now benburch is having a Barney Frank fantasy!

[prophetic]

Drugs are Baaaaad for the brain, as clearly evidenced by these loonies over at the DUmmies site.

[unixfox]

President Pelosi.

They are smoking crack, meth, heroin, pot, and everything in between.

[PJ-Comix]

What's the story with your PC and network configuration?

I hope to add the nic card for Ethernet connection this week. Ultimately need to get a new computer sometime this Fall.

[PJ-Comix]

Skinner has a hard time knowing how to handle the DUFUs. It will be MUCH WORSE for him once I start Podcasting.

[Allosaurs_r_us]

Progressive legislation is passed. Marijuana is legalized, and the War on Drugs is cut. Missile Defense is cancelled. Bush's tax cuts are rolled back for the wealthy. The environmental and corporate regulations that Bush weakened are restored and tightened. Corporations who outsource lose every subsidy they have, and tariffs are slapped on their products. DOMA is repealed, and the state anti gay amendments are ruled unconstitutional. Gay marriage is legalized. Foreign aid is increased.

 

What the heck is "progressive legislation"? Is that where city hall decides your house would look a lot better as a Taco Bell?

 

Good to see drugs are at the top of the list! Then immediately following that is to decrease our defenses. Brilliant! At least they'll be high when the first one hits New York or San Francisco.

 

I'm not wealthy and I got a pretty good tax break, wonder if he wants that too? It is very easy for these slackers to call for rolling back the tax breaks, since very few of them actually have a job and PAY taxes.

 

And we need to make sure environmental laws make everything in America either to costly to produce at home or tie up enough resources that pretty soon we're going to have to start importing tin foil for their hats, along with oil, lumber, steel..................

 

Let's not forget the Gay rights thing either, Especially since the overwhelming majority of American has told them to stuff it! Oh, I forgot, they probably interpret "stuff it" a little different than we do........LOL

 

Increase foreign aid! Huh? I thought they didn't want us to be a world power. How are we going to be able to send money if we decline to 3rd world status. I guess we're just supposed to shovel money into a pit in countries who believe civil rights means they civilly shoot you in the ear. Hmmmm, if we keep giving our money away with no hope of return, where are these mental patients going to get their welfare, foodstamps and medicaid from? We give away more cash than almost every other country on the globe combined. What do ya 'spose is enough?

 

[45semi]

http://www.tigerdirect.com/
Just bought a refurbished computer from there cheep,
and it works great!

[Charles Henrickson]

Tell me your fantasy...

DUmmie Moonbat Extraordinaire mopaul moves in with Pied Piper Pitt as his new roommate. DUmmie mopaul keeps Pitt up all night, every night, with his moonbat ravings. Pitt tries wearing himself out by fruging on his dance pad. It doesn't work. Pitt tries falling asleep by reading his own essays. Even that doesn't work. Pitt begins preparing a eulogy for mopaul.

Then DUmmie goodboy comes for a visit--and stays. Now "The Odd Couple" becomes "Three's Company." DUmmie goodboy's Tourette's Syndrome is out of control. Even his snoring is filled with f-words. Pitt still can't sleep.

DUmmie Faye shows up in Boston because her ESP tells her Pitt is interested in her. They arrange a date at a bar. Pitt can barely drag himself there, he's so tired. Deep, dark circles rim his eyes. While trying to put the moves on Faye, he falls asleep in his chili and knocks over her Corona. Faye is about to leave in disgust, when she runs into a tall, suave stranger in a tuxedo. It's DUmmie stevenumbers, who obviously has had an extreme makeover. After checking her for cold sores, steve invites Faye into his waiting limo.

Suddenly Pitt wakes up and sees what is happening. He rushes out the door, yelling, "Wait, Faye! Wait!" Faye turns, imperiously, and scoffs at Pitt with a haughty Max Cady laugh: "Hahahaha! Pied Piper Pitt, beaten out by stevenumbers!"

Pitt is a broken man. He has bottomed out. He has a brief--no, a lasting moment of mental clarity. "If only I would use my powers for good instead of evil!"

Pitt becomes a FReeper. In fact, he becomes the international best-selling author of the definitive PJ-Comix biography (with CD-ROM insert), "Stand Up Next to a DUFU!"

And they all lived happily ever after.

[ReeWalker]

Now that was FUNNY!!!

[billybudd]

Favorite line:

the state anti gay amendments are ruled unconstitutional

Repeat for emphasis: constitutional amendments are ruled unconstitutional.

[Allosaurs_r_us]

And they all lived happily ever after.

Boy Chas, ya really have gone all out on this one........LOL

Of course we know this is just a fantasy as the DUmmies can never live happile ever after. DUmmie, Demoncrat, whatever, is the philosophy of victims. You just can't be happy and be a victim at the same time.

[OH Swing Voter]

Barney “My Boy Lollipop” Frank

I like that new nickname, but as for myself, I will be probably continue calling him "Back-door Barney"

[Charles Henrickson]

Barney Frank's fantasy:

[Charles Henrickson]

The Andy Stephenson Voting Rights Protection Act is passed

The DUmmies have set up for themselves a straw man, i.e., that we Republicans are somehow in favor of "election fraud." They act like they're the only ones in favor of "honest and open elections."

The reality is that we Republicans are for honest and open elections as much as anyone. Whatever are good methods for ensuring that result--whether paper ballots, butterfly ballots, pulling a lever, touching a screen--I don't care, as long as it's honest. The key is not the machinery but rather to have honest people from both parties overseeing the results and keeping an eye on each other.

Frankly, honest elections all across the country probably scares the Democrats more than the Republicans. The Democrats have been the masters of manufactured votes for decades. Why don't the DUmmies demand investigations into vote fraud in Chicago, St. Louis, Seattle, etc.?

BTW, I had no quarrel with Andy Stephenson when he was a FReeper and was calling for fair voting safeguards. That is not a partisan issue.

Of course, I do part ways with the DUmmies when they wildly claim, with no evidence, that President Bush "stole Ohio."

[Fenris6]

My Fantasty: Democrat leadership and the MSM indulge in moonbat antics that destroy whatever credibility they have left in the public eye. The Rat party shrieks off into the political wilderness forever. And blogs like Powerline replace the weasels at Wapo and NYT.

Oh wait, its already happening! Thank you Mary Mapes ;)

[Fenris6]

They act like they're the only ones in favor of "honest and open elections."

Ah but they aren't. They want "election reform" (verifiable & transparent voting methods) but not "voter reform" (multiple votes illegally cast by the same peeps)

[AirForce-TechSgt]

I do not usually reply, but this time I just have to. It took my an hour to read all that stuff and I still do not understand it. It could have been the tv or it could have been the beer or both.

PJ, thanks for th work that you do. I look forward to it every day.

US TSGt

Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and don't interfere as long as the policy you've decided upon is being carried out.
Ronald Reagan