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DUmmie FUnnies 01-23-07 (" Why the HELL is John Kerry Dead Last at 8%?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 23, 2007 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/23/2007 5:45:46 AM PST by PJ-Comix

One Democrat candidate after another is now declaring their intention to run for president. Lost in the crowd (along with the DUFU-endorsed candidate, Tom Vilsack) is John Kerry. Think about it. Kerry was the Democrat 2004 nominee and now he is DEAD LAST in a poll of major candidates. At least Kerry has one hopeful sign. He is still ahead of Tom Vilsack since the former Iowa governor is doing so horribly in his campaign that he is BELOW dead last. Even Chris Dodd is now getting more buzz than Tom Vilsack. Of course, Vilsack could turn it all around INSTANTLY if only he follows the advice of the DUmmie FUnnies to WEAR THE BEAR. Unfortunately for Kerry, there is NOTHING he can now wear to raise his low esteem among Democrats. Not even an EXTRA-LARGE jockstrap. And now that the DUmmies have finally realized that Kerry is damaged goods, we can now see their honest opinion of him in this THREAD titled, "Meet the Press 'Presidential Preference Poll:' Why the HELL is John Kerry Dead Last at 8%?" The upside to Kerry's poor political fortunes will be the comedic entertainment to be provided by his inevitable implosion when he realized that he WON'T be getting the nomination. Here is a guy who for most of his life had the single goal of becoming the OTHER JFK and now it is about to be taken away from him for good. So let us now watch the DUmmies give a fairly realistic assessment of Kerry in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble correspondent again reminding Tom Vilsack to WEAR THE BEAR, is in the [brackets]:

Meet the Press "Presidential Preference Poll:" Why the HELL is John Kerry Dead Last at 8%?

[Maybe he needs better joke writers.]

I mean really - Kerry is probably the most intelligent, best debater, best speaker, and the most Presidential. So he goofed in 2004, so what. That doesn't make him a failure. And his latest gaff, falsely accused of being against the troops when the repubs and media twisted his words about being bogged down in Iraq, was completely outrageous. He's a war hero for freakin sakes.

[He's a war hero? Why hasn't he told us that before?]

He has all the experience. He knows how our government works. He's on critical intelligence committees. So why is Kerry so damn maligned?

[Maybe you should ask Chuck Schumer in the pic above why Kerry gets no respect.]

actually, people here did complain about the mistakes he was making in his campaign, but those stating those views were stomped on. I personally think Brazille is not competent, and should have been replaced early on, but some people actually believed that such observations were racist or sexist. She blew it in so many ways, that I still shudder whenshe appears on some MSM Cable gnus program.

[Yeah. Blame it all on Donna Brazille.]

He simply doesnt have a warm manner .... nobody can be blamed for that, but there is no mistaking his lack of popularity ...

[Kerry has all the warmth of an icicle. Not exactly a drinking buddy sort of guy.]

Personally I do not think he is a good speaker. If you are going to run for president you can't say in 400 words what can be said in 30 words.

[No wonder Pied Piper Pitt aspired to become a Kerry speech writer. He specialized in that type of word inflation.]

Part of his problem was that he had some really bad handlers I think.

[I remember reading how upset Kerry was at his butler for not having a hairbrush on hand when Master John needed it.]

Plus, Kerry is not last. There are a bunch of candidates in that poll getting less than 3%.

[Tom Vilsack is less than Zero. WEAR THE BEAR!!!]

He is a victim of sociopathic character assassination.

[And all this time I thought he was merely a victim of swift boating.]

He did beat Bush in 04. He just couldn't out-cheat Bush in 04.

[Thank you, Diebold!]

Like it or not, the public's image of Kerry is already ingrained in people's heads.

[It's hard to rid that image of Kerry in his Speedos from our minds.]

And that's my big reservation about Edwards - I first saw it in the VP debates when he had the opportunity to rip Cheney to shreds and didn't do it. Now he says he was restrained from contesting the 04 results by the party, but I have to wonder how much he really wanted to slug it out.

[Edwards didn't want to do anything that would get his hair in a mess.]

Because of a blown punch line, and because of being swiftboated.

[Other than that he would be tops in the polls.]

Kerry is not very comforting. To be comforting, you need to be comfortable with yourself.

[Kerry only feels comfortable when he is wearing an EXTRA-LARGE jockstrap.]

He lost, he's damaged, he's passe.

[So what's the downside about Kerry?]

KKKarl is not satisfied with beating his opponents, he has to destroy them before he's through. Between the swift boats and the gaffe about the troops intelligence, Rove ran him right into the ground. Of course he has considerable responsibility for this himself by laying down and not fighting back.

[The Rape of Lucretia Kerry by the EVIL Tarquinius Rove.]

I think alot of democrats were disappointed by his '08 run (in the general election) especially his inability to refute the swift boaters in a timely way. I think many democrats simply want somebody else. Then his so-called "gaffe" towards the end of the '06 election where he was then sidelined for several days--apparently hurt him as well.

[And then there is that Lurch face of his.]

because we live in a throw away culture always on the lookout for new packaging, new product....

[Obama ears are now the current hot product line.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; hillaryclinton; johnkerry; tomvilsack
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To: NeoCaveman

"Dennis Kucinich the Communist would kill for 8%"

Kucinich is a little weasle Stalinist who wants to bring back censorship in the form of "The Fairness Doctrine." He should go back to his old job of making cookies and living in a tree.

"Whe the hell is John Kerry dead last at 8%"

I'm guessing it's because he's a loser.


51 posted on 01/23/2007 9:37:28 AM PST by exile ("Is Barney Frank gay or retarded?" - IMAO)
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To: Barset

Will this work???

52 posted on 01/23/2007 9:37:45 AM PST by Dooderbutt (It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our job to arrange the meeting.)
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To: dead

ROFL!!!!! I always wondered what went on behind the curtain!


53 posted on 01/23/2007 9:43:12 AM PST by lieutenant columbo
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To: COBOL2Java
Seen this one yet?

Queer Eye for a Dictator Guy

Cheers,

knewshound
54 posted on 01/23/2007 9:59:25 AM PST by knews_hound (Sarcastically blogging since 2004.)
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To: Charles Henrickson; Cletus.D.Yokel

And don't forget the picture of Kerry trying to CATCH a football, looking like a "girlie man"! :-D


55 posted on 01/23/2007 10:01:25 AM PST by Purrcival (Grab the popcorn, it's the Nancy Pelosi Comedy Hour!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I personally think Brazille is not competent, and should have been replaced early on, but some people actually believed that such observations were racist or sexist.

This stupid DUmmie IS racist and sexist.

How dare he call a black female incompetent just for being herself.

56 posted on 01/23/2007 10:13:36 AM PST by X-FID (WEAR THE BEAR !!!)
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To: Barset
Good stuff, PJ. Are you wearing a hat outside and drinking water frequently? You really must be aware of the chances for heat exhaustion.

I'm fine now. I carry a lot of water with me plus I wear a wide brim slouch hat.

57 posted on 01/23/2007 10:27:49 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

John who?


58 posted on 01/23/2007 10:36:22 AM PST by YourAdHere (Buy My Book, "Bradypalooza," from Amazon. Com.)
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To: Dooderbutt; bcsco

Thanks, Dooder. Isn't that grotesque? She is about as beat down a creature that calls out to the hardest heart for sympathy and kindness and that sorry excuse for a man dances around in glee. What a jerk!

bsc, check out the pic on dooderbut's post.


59 posted on 01/23/2007 10:47:02 AM PST by Barset
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To: Paul Heinzman

Has that little play on words been around long? I used it as a statement on Bill Clinton in 1992 believing I created it on my own. (But, it may have been one of those "quotes" floating aorund in my brain)


60 posted on 01/23/2007 10:51:59 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: Barset
That is sad - I just wonder why in the h*ll she stays with that 'man'. Must be a liberal thing?

Oh, and here are a few more of that manly man for your viewing enjoyment.

Heck, I even play football more like a man that he does (and I'm a teeny little Irish girl!!)

61 posted on 01/23/2007 10:55:38 AM PST by Dooderbutt (It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our job to arrange the meeting.)
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To: PJ-Comix

62 posted on 01/23/2007 10:56:08 AM PST by MarineBrat (My wife and I took an AIDS vaccination that the Church offers.)
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To: PJ-Comix
He is a victim of sociopathic character assassination.

Kind of like President Bush? Hmmmmm?

63 posted on 01/23/2007 11:15:29 AM PST by beckysueb
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To: 007girl

Nice pants.


64 posted on 01/23/2007 11:19:58 AM PST by beckysueb
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To: Ronaldus Magnus Reagan
Kerry shot and killed an enemy soldier as he was running away.

I don't think it was an enemy soldier. It was a young boy.

65 posted on 01/23/2007 11:24:42 AM PST by beckysueb
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To: Dooderbutt; Cletus.D.Yokel; Purrcival
He's a one-man team!



66 posted on 01/23/2007 11:28:28 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (JF'nK.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
A one-man "short-bus" team - no offense to those 'challenged' people out there.
67 posted on 01/23/2007 11:32:17 AM PST by Dooderbutt (It's God's job to judge the terrorists. It's our job to arrange the meeting.)
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To: Barset

68 posted on 01/23/2007 12:29:01 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (JF'nK.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Ugh! Poor woman.


69 posted on 01/23/2007 12:51:46 PM PST by Barset
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To: beckysueb

Highwaters are so kool! I can't tell if he's building a plane or sniffin' the glue! hehee


70 posted on 01/23/2007 1:13:45 PM PST by 007girl
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To: Dooderbutt; Barset

Thanks, Dooderbutt. I knew someone somewhere would have one. I don't know the situation behind this particular photo, or why she's hanging her head, but this photo shown alongside the one at the party could tell volumes.

Somehow I don't see Teresa Heinz Kerry as being too smitten with a tour of the Grand Canyon, or especially a helicopter ride over it (regardless of the situation with her first husband).


71 posted on 01/23/2007 3:01:12 PM PST by bcsco
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To: PJ-Comix
Isn't this the guy who windsurfed to Korea with Nixon and a swift boat of ketsup...?
72 posted on 01/23/2007 3:05:41 PM PST by Hi Heels
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To: PJ-Comix
"She blew it in so many ways, that I still shudder whenshe appears on some MSM Cable gnus program."

Ah, well, no gnus is good gnus - was the WHildebeest on, too?

But, seriesly, folks - how does one misuse "gnus" for "news"?

73 posted on 01/23/2007 4:03:22 PM PST by decal (Too many people mistake "tolerance" for "approval.")
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

I swiped it from Austin Powers.


74 posted on 01/23/2007 5:06:04 PM PST by Paul Heinzman (I thought we were talking about Kerry, not Clinton.)
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To: PJ-Comix
He simply doesnt have a warm manner .... nobody can be blamed for that,

Uh actually what he lacks is the ability to laugh at himself. That is the kind of thing that comes from humility and that is something the kerry could learn easily.

After all, he has so much to be humble about!

75 posted on 01/23/2007 5:10:32 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (We must have faith For when it is all said and done, Faith manages. And the impossible is achieved)
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To: NewLand
_______

76 posted on 01/24/2007 12:31:10 AM PST by Watery Tart (Senator Nuancy Boy is secure in little else except his belief in his indispensability. --Mark Steyn)
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To: Condor51
I think alot of democrats were disappointed by his '08 run (in the general election) especially his inability to refute the swift boaters in a timely way...

...Huh, '08?? Some moonbat must have a time machine :-)

Nope, they are just delusional...

(I suppose it could be the drugs as well...)

77 posted on 01/24/2007 2:01:46 AM PST by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head up my a$$....)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Like it or not, the public's image of Kerry is already ingrained in people's heads.

"That image is seared, SEARED, I tell you, into our memories..."

Along with this one:

Rich gigolo boy toy or goofy a$$clown, one thing John F'n Kerry (who served in Vietnam) is NOT is presidential...

78 posted on 01/24/2007 2:20:22 AM PST by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head up my a$$....)
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