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DUmmie FUnnies 10-08-08 (Slate Writer Reveals Liberal Agenda In The Open)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 8, 2008 | Timothy Noah and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/08/2008 10:21:03 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Freudenschade, baby! This is a special edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. Instead of DUmmies or KOmmies or HUffies, we are focusing on Slate senior writer, Timothy Noah, who is so confident of Obama's "victory" in November that he jumped the gun and posted the not so hidden liberal agenda out in the open. You can read his Slate ARTICLE titled, "The New Complacency," as well as an ANALYSIS of that article over at NewsBusters. So let us now join honorary DUmmie Timothy Noah in mid-gloat as he is about to reveal WAY too much in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking Noah's bark, is in the [barackets]:

There's a new scent in the air. If you're a Democrat, you haven't felt it tickle your nostrils since October 1996, when everybody knew that Bill Clinton was about to beat Bob Dole. The perfume hasn't been this strong since October 1964, the eve of Lyndon Johnson's landside presidential victory. It's the sweet smell of success that you can take for granted.

[If a liberal farts by himself and there is on one else around to smell it, will it count as a scent?]

With every passing day, it's harder to imagine that the next president of the United States will be a Republican—even a "maverick" Republican like John McCain. A consensus is emerging that the next president will be Barack Obama, a Democrat. Obama may not win in a landside, as some predict, but the common wisdom is that he will win and that the Democrats will expand their majorities in the House and Senate. Like the houseguests in Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None, swing states are disappearing one by one. Goodbye, Michigan; farewell, Ohio. Will Florida evaporate next? Colorado? Missouri?

[Yes, yes! Count those chickens before they hatch!]

Conservatives can carp all they want about the insularity of the cultural elite, but it's been a very long time since liberals had the chance to experience electoral complacency at the national level. You'll forgive them if they take a moment to taste it, savor it, perhaps bottle a little extra to tide them over during the next conservative ascendancy. Practically the only thing you can't do is securitize it, but it would be churlish to complain about that, given the central role the financial markets' collapse played in bringing the New Complacency about. Democrats, you want to worry about something? Worry about your portfolio!

[Taste it. Savor that Freudenschade victory champagne. It's been a long wait.]

During the past 25 years, there have been countless sentiments that respectable Democratic politicians were never, ever supposed to say out loud for fear of angering the all-powerful Republicans. It still isn't wise for Obama to say them, but maybe the New Complacency will loosen other tongues within the political mainstream. Even if it doesn't, it's fun to think about what those utterances might be. What follows is a list, compiled with help from my fellow Slate staffers. The views expressed don't necessarily reflect those of the contributors—one of whom is a conservative Republican—or even me. But they sure are a refreshing change from what we've been hearing since 1981. With a little luck, they may soon be orthodoxies.

[DUmmie Noah is so confident of victory in November that he lets down his guard and stupidly posts the liberal agenda out in the open. Now comes the really FUn part!!!]

I think Karl Marx had some valuable insights into capitalist economies!

[With a little luck you hope that Karl Marxism becomes our economic orthodoxy.]

I think abortion should be safe and legal. Rare is fine, too, but the way to achieve that is contraception, baby!

I think Mormons are kooks!

The Second Amendment does too allow government to ban handguns!

[Keep that latter one in mind, you Pennsylvania voters.]

Let's standardize the federal age of consent at 16!

Promiscuity between consenting adults is good exercise!

I don't support the troops. I support some troops, depending on whether or not they've committed war crimes!

[And there will be war crimes trials under an Obama administration.]

The military-industrial complex is a greater menace than most foreign nations!

If Israel isn't out of the occupied territories in six months, we'll cut off all aid.

[Be sure to forward that one to Susan Silverman of the Great Schlep.]

America isn't the greatest nation in the world. We think it is only because it's our country. Duh!

[May we now question your patriotism?]

America's official languages should be English and Spanish!

[Kiss goodbye to some more states and deduct them from the Obama column.]

What's so great about the Judeo-Christian tradition?

Big-city values are better than small-town values!

I'm glad the Muslims whupped the Christians during the Crusades! Served 'em right!

[Which explains why the liberals are rooting for the Islamo-Fascists now.]

I'm not a "progressive," for Pete's sake. I'm a liberal!

I'm not a "liberal," for Pete's sake. I'm a leftist!

I'm not a "leftist," for Pete's sake. I'm a democratic socialist!

I'm not a democratic socialist, for Pete's sake. I'm a Communist! Just kidding!

[You might be just kidding but the DUmmies in DUmmieland are not. Okay, folks, please e-mail this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies around so a lot more people out there can find out what the liberals are planning if Obama wins. And thanx to Slate writer, Timothy Noah, for prematurely releasing the not so hidden liberal agenda. By doing so, you might have pulled the rug from under an Obama victory which you are already celebrating.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2008; 2ndamendment; ageofconsentlaws; antiamericanism; bang; banglist; barackobama; blameamericafirst; democrats; dummiefunnies; elections; gungrabber; marxist; nobama08; secondamendment; sexualizingchildren; starkravingsocialism; timothynoah; usefulidiot
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

Clippy at homey.


21 posted on 10/08/2008 10:38:38 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: PJ-Comix

The inner workings of a perverted mind.


22 posted on 10/08/2008 10:39:14 AM PDT by Vision ("Test everything. Hold on to the Good." 1 Thessalonians 5:21)
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To: PJ-Comix
Like the houseguests in Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None, swing states are disappearing one by one..

Ha ha, you read Agatha Christie!

23 posted on 10/08/2008 10:40:15 AM PDT by GOP_Raider (If I wanted a Chicago politician as my President, I'd vote for Richard Daley)
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To: PJ-Comix
Okay, if you live in the Washington, DC area then you might want to try locating the C-SPAN raw footage of the extended Biden video at the National Archives. The lady I called at C-SPAN told me that is where it is and, wow, did she sound peeved for some reason. The networks also have this raw footage but since it would be harmful to Obama/Biden, I doubt they will release it so best bet now seems to be locating the C-SPAN raw footage in the National Archives. Perhaps it is in a cardboard box atop the wooden box containing the Lost Ark.

This is the video that will affect the election for sure!

24 posted on 10/08/2008 10:40:47 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (FREE the Joe Biden raw video!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

“The raw footage of Joe Biden will definitely have an effect on this election IF it is made public since most rational people would fear Biden being just a heartbeat away from the Oval Office after watching the video.”

I hope we get it.


25 posted on 10/08/2008 10:42:56 AM PDT by scratcher
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel
PJ must be distracted by a phone call from Gov Vilsac?

Wear the Bear!

26 posted on 10/08/2008 10:45:38 AM PDT by NeoCaveman (Who is the real Barack Obama?)
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To: scratcher

Hey, I’m juggling at least 4 major projects right now plus I don’t live in the DC area so I have to hand this project off to someone else. You have the info you need, so someone out there find it. Believe me, the raw footage is quite something to behold or how else do you think I remembered it after all these years?


27 posted on 10/08/2008 10:46:33 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (FREE the Joe Biden raw video!!!)
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To: All
If these bastards get power, we must resist them at every turn. We must defund their bullhorn, which is the media. Boycott their sponsors! Fight every attempt towards nationalizing industry. We must become unsmelly hardworking protesters. We must become anti-hippies. While the smelly irrational hippies riot on the street, we must riot with our wallets. Do not give blue companies one damn cent. Destroy Hollywood by holding your dollars and let the rats get real jobs. Let them attempt to attack us behind cardboard signs reading, “Will Make Believe For Food” and them pay for their smug elitism.
28 posted on 10/08/2008 10:49:23 AM PDT by Big Guy and Rusty 99 (If Benito Mussolini was IL DUCE, Barack Obama is ILL DOUCHE!)
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To: PJ-Comix

I’ll see what I can do to help.


29 posted on 10/08/2008 10:52:27 AM PDT by scratcher
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To: scratcher

I posted the brief clip so people will have confidence that the video exists. This was a VERY SMALL segment of what Joe Biden actually did which was act like a complete fruitcake over an extended period of time. The networks have the raw footage but won’t release it. If they had such footage of Sarah Palin they would have broadcast it within days of her announcement as Veep.


30 posted on 10/08/2008 11:09:23 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (FREE the Joe Biden raw video!!!)
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To: All
Here is the info from footage.net as to what ABC News has in its archives. It looks like Biden might have been ranting for a full 10 minutes. Good luck trying to get the raw footage from ABC News because they are currently running cover for Obama/Biden:

Tape Number: DCTA22633E
Title: SOUTH AFRICA
Media Type: Tape
Library: ABC
Date: 07/23/1986
Content: 11:30:58:05 SENATE FOREIGN RELATIONS COMMITTEE HEARING ON US POLICY TOWARD SOUTH AFRICA. MS OF SENATOR JESSE HELMS (R-NC) QUESTIONING US SECRETARY OF STATE GEORGE SHULTZ, WHO IS TESTIFYING BEFORE THE COMMITTEE.
11:38:38:02 ms of senator joseph biden (d-del) questioning shultz. he angrily excoriates administration policy toward south africa. he feels the us should side with the black majority in south africa.
11:48:17:22 ms of senator charles mathias (r-md).
CI:
PERSONALITIES: BIDEN, JOSEPH.
PERSONALITIES: HELMS, JESSE.
PERSONALITIES: MATHIAS, CHARLES.
PERSONALITIES: SHULTZ, GEORGE.

31 posted on 10/08/2008 11:28:25 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (FREE the Joe Biden raw video!!!)
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To: All

BTW, in the entire time that Biden was talking I don’t remember him once talking like a normal person. He was screaming the whole time and sounded quite irrational.


32 posted on 10/08/2008 11:30:03 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (FREE the Joe Biden raw video!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Check this new thread out: (It's not FUnnie, but thought others should see it)

themartyred (1000+ posts) Wed Oct-08-08 03:45 PM Original message

we need some people dressed up as KKK members to try and get in at a Palin rally I supposed they'd be arrested, but man, what a story it'd make - they could simply say - "we are confused - we heard her on the television saying things we strongly liked and wanted to come and support her, and if this country is so arrogant to ignore its roots, then we'll support her being the next Grand Wizard of our group!"

That'd make me laugh... The McSame/Plain campaign has turned into a rallying cry for hysterical bigotry. They have no shame apparently.

33 posted on 10/08/2008 12:52:57 PM PDT by KJC1
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To: KJC1

DNC brownshirts. They’d do better to show up dressed like that at public appearances from Robert Byrd (D-KKK) but they have no honor.


34 posted on 10/08/2008 1:13:10 PM PDT by weegee (Obama's a uniter?"I want you to argue with them (friends,neighbors,Republicans) & get in their face")
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To: PJ-Comix

These DUmmie remarks aren’t even laughable; they are scary. Especially if Mr. O wins. This would truly be the triumph of evil.

To my fellow Jews — this Yom Kippur, pray really hard.


35 posted on 10/08/2008 2:03:37 PM PDT by MoochPooch (I'm a compassionate cynic.)
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To: PJ-Comix
There's a new scent in the air.

Can you smell . . . what Barack's got cookin'?!

36 posted on 10/08/2008 2:10:45 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (B.O. Plenty.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I think Karl Marx had some valuable insights into capitalist economies!

Is that you, Barack Obama?

37 posted on 10/08/2008 2:14:09 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (B.O. Plenty.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I'm a liberal! . . . I'm a leftist! . . . I'm a democratic socialist!

It IS you, Barack!

38 posted on 10/08/2008 2:16:50 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (B.O. Plenty.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I think Mormons are kooks!

Sounds like most FReepers.

39 posted on 10/08/2008 2:27:24 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day ("If someone is coming to kill you, rise early and kill him first" (Sanhedrin 72a and parallels).)
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To: PJ-Comix
America's official languages should be English and Spanish!

¡Contra la pared, compadre! ¡Sí, se puede!

40 posted on 10/08/2008 2:35:49 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day ("If someone is coming to kill you, rise early and kill him first" (Sanhedrin 72a and parallels).)
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