Skip to comments.Toothy raccoon bit off manhood
Posted on 01/26/2009 8:34:31 AM PST by OL Hickory
Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he lept on the terrified but toothy fur ball.
When I saw the raccoon I thought Id have some fun, he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.
Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.
(Excerpt) Read more at thesun.co.uk ...
Hold muh vodka comrade.
OK. Which one of you guys told him the raccoon's name was 'Monica'?
Wild boar coon attacked me on a houseboat one nite and my hand is till scarred.
I cleaved his ass in gratitude.
He and his posse wouldn’t shoo off the boat
Darwin award candidtae. While he did not kill himself, he has effectively removed himself from the gene pool.
“Just shoot up here amongst us! Ones of us has gotta get some relief!” - Jerry Clower
I’m guessing the perp’s new nickname is “Shorty” ...
Knock ‘im out John.
He was trying to RAPE it?? Deserves what he got. Or lost.
Post of the day!
Absolutely true. Just for those of us wondering what a raccoon is doing in Russia, they were introduced to Russia, along with France, Germany and the Netherlands, for use as fur animals. They have, like most introduced critters, become a nuisance.
Sometimes you need to hide in plain sight.
This does not make sense. I went to the article, be there’s not much info. Would he not have to be naked for the racoon to have...um...access? Why would one be naked outdoors during a Russian winter? What an idiot! I suspect he got what he deserved.
Just an alternative lifestyle. Nothing to see here.
Recently a friend had a racoon attack his full grown lab. The coon grabbed the Lab by the head and was dragging it into the woods.
My friend grabbed an axe, and he said it took 3 strong blows with the axe to stop the racoon.
Racoons are nothing to mess with, as this mad Russian will tell you.
Racoons are cute, but rabies is endemic in the racoon population. For anybody who doesn't know this, admire them at a distance.
“He fought the racoon and the racoon won!!” I’m delighted over that.
had them under the deck. Played loud music and kept the lights on all night. They left. someone told us the loud music affects their nervous system. It worked.
Pound for pound racoons are one of the toughest animals on the planet. I once saw the results on a couple of farm dogs after they tried to kill a cornered racoon. Needless to stay the dogs stayed some distance from racoons after that encounter.
My friends said she felt sorry...
for the raccoon. :D
Didn’t even know raccoons lived in Russia..............
The raccoons may be a nuisance, but they can’t possibly be as great a nuisance as drunken humans whose first impulse upon spotting a raccoon is to attack it with “manhood” drawn. Russia would be much better off with more raccoons and fewer of this sort of human.
Some kinds of info aren't even printable in the Sun :-)
Hermann Goering had a pair of American raccoons released in the forest in 1934 for the purpose of hunting. Since then they have spread all over Europe. In Germany they are called "Waschbaren" (wash bear).
—Russia would be much better off with more raccoons and fewer of this sort of human.—
Well, since this knucklehead won’t be able to spread his DNA around anymore (depends on the skill of Russian doctors—not much to hope for there) the critter may have accomplished just that!
Owies. A wise gentleman once told me, “Don’t stick yer Johnson into anything with teeth.” Words to live by.
—Racoons are cute, but rabies is endemic in the racoon population. For anybody who doesn’t know this, admire them at a distance.—
Way back in the day, my daughter and I, at a local lake feeding ducks, watched in horror as passers-by gathered around a “tame” racoon—IN BROAD DAYLIGHT—that was in a stupor. I carefully explained to my little one the terrible ramifications of this, went to a local home, and ask them to call 911. After a short time, a man came by with a shovel, conked the ‘coon (obviously dying of “dumb” rabies) on the head, and carried him away. Alas, what fools these mortals be.
Why was he trying to rape a racoon?
—Why was he trying to rape a racoon?—
He said she was “askin’ for it.”
On occasion I’ve had to trap raccoons. The nasty ones let you know in no uncertain terms what they’d do with a mouthful of teeth given a chance. Fabric isn’t any protection. A .22 “capsule” administered to the head before letting them out of the trap is.
I suspect the Russian raccoon when attacked, bit and ripped at the closest thing at hand. Which happened to be Ivan’s crotch. The man’s lucky it wasn’t his throat.
Safe for work.
I trap and release about 15-20 raccoons a year and haven’t had to kill any of them yet. Good thing, since I haven’t got a gun, only my boots! Raccoons, possums and sometimes a mink. All after my small chicken flock.
I can’t imagine what kind of idiot goes with bare hands towards wild animals, though.
Uh, does it matter if they're not their own teeth?
Just asking...you know, wondering what if?
Thats gone forever so there isnt going to be much for them to work with."
I usually get rid of only the ones smart enough to get a steel garbage can lid off. Of course a few more may be “encapsulated” before I get the smart one out of the gene pool.
I like to get it over fast. None of the coons I took care of had to swim.
Great pic! Pass along my compliments to the artist.
It's easy to understand why they spread rabies among themselves so readily. They seem to fight constantly. At our home in the wilderness we can hear them in the night.
Dont stick yer Johnson into anything with teeth.
Which begs the punchline:
“With gums like that, who would?”
Okay. Thanks for the info.
they were tearing the screens off the boat and refusing to leave...over and over...tried water and throwing crap at them and hollering....they were in a remote cove on a TN mt lake and little fear of uprigt primates
i went outside and got close and hollered at the boar and he lurched up and bit me nicely on my hand
i went inside and came back out with my 10” fixed blade Gerber and killed him
never had much trouble with coons except in my cans and usually a few shots in the butt with my .177 Crossman will run them off
i was taken aback that sucker bit me like that.....i’ve since learned they will chew yer ass up if riled
Sorry for your injury. Clearly, they are a force to be reckoned with. Yipes.
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