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Alternate Names for the “Assault Weapons” Ban
iamo ^ | 2 March, 2009 | Frank J.

Posted on 03/07/2009 1:05:07 AM PST by marktwain

Since actual assault weapons are already regulated and very hard for a civilian to own in America (to the point they’re pretty much never used in a crime), I had thought the act to ban random semi-autos needed a more accurate name than the “Assault Weapons Ban”. Here’s some more ideas:

* The Piss Off People with Guns Act

* The Not All the Nazis’ Ideas Were Bad Act

* The Disarming Law Abiding People Sure Is Easier than Disarming Criminals Act

* The Sissies Scared of Loud Noise Act

* The Freedom Is too Scary Act

* The Ban as Many Guns as We Can Trick People into Allowing Act

* The I Don’t Know Crap About Guns, But I’m Told These Ones Are Bad Act

* The Impossible to Vote for If You Have Functioning Male Parts Act

TOPICS: Education; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: assault; banglist; humor; weapons
Lots of comments at the site. It is good to laugh at a time like this.
1 posted on 03/07/2009 1:05:07 AM PST by marktwain
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To: marktwain
regulated [..] (to the point they’re pretty much never used in a crime

Incorrect analysis. They're almost never used in crime because they're difficult to conceal.

Darn I hate these correlations people pull from their rectal cavity.

When they are used in crime it's generally a big crime, and yes criminals can get them if they want them.
2 posted on 03/07/2009 1:13:15 AM PST by chuck_the_tv_out
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To: marktwain

The Firearms Fairness Act

Because certain firearms should be illegal to possess for an equivalent time that they were legal to possess.


The Criminals Workplace Safety Act

For obvious reasons.

3 posted on 03/07/2009 1:26:11 AM PST by Sylvester McMonkey McBean (1 O types of people. Those that think O is the 1; and everyone else.)
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To: marktwain

The Hoplophobia Protection Act

4 posted on 03/07/2009 1:32:59 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: marktwain

Well there are Traditional Rifles, and Modern Rifles.

They came up with cutesy Orwellian language for the Modern Rifles (I’ve been reading things talking about “assault style” rifles...I’m curious what about their styling makes them assault-y), so they’ll ban those first.

Once those are long gone, all rifles will be Traditional Rifles. So then they’ll have to make another arbitrary division. They’ll call every caliber the military adopted after decades of success among private individuals a “military caliber”, banning everything but the fake calibers like .25 and .28 ACP.

On the pistol front, it’ll just be another Magazine Ban. DC has already redefined any pistol as a “machine gun”, so they might be so brazen as to do that as well.

Plenty of names to choose from, but it boils down to a Magazine Ban, and Modern Rifle Ban.

5 posted on 03/07/2009 1:50:58 AM PST by BobbyT
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To: marktwain
We went through this crap during the Klinton years. Many of us decided at that time that the 2nd Amendment is actually a "tripwire" for liberty. "You can't trust a politician with your vote if he doesn't trust you with a gun." Made a lot of sense then and it does now. "If it is time to bury them, it is time to use them."

To change the subject for a moment consider this, the Porkulus Bill we objected to so much recently. Most of the spending is several years from now. The rate that our economy is failing there won't BE a U.S. gummint by then. So what the hell does that bill matter?

Back on subject. What the hell does a gun law matter? Let them pass whatever damn law they want. Anybody with a brain HAS the things they need. All we have to do is survive the chaos that is coming and rebuild from the ground up with the original government the Founders put in place over 200 years ago. Sort of a "system reset". At this point Zero and Pelousy and COmpany can pound sand because nothing they do is gonna matter a bit.

Μολὼν λάβε

6 posted on 03/07/2009 2:31:39 AM PST by wastoute (translation of tag "Come and get them (bastards)" and the Scout Motto)
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To: wastoute

“Sort of a ‘system reset’.”

I didn’t know the Hillary overcharged buttons were commercially available. Then again, I’d think there’d be a tidy business in them for every American who’s paying through the nose for others’ upkeep.

Meant as sardonically funny, but sadly, true.

7 posted on 03/07/2009 4:44:14 AM PST by combat_boots (Leave America poor, hungry, sick and defenseless. Wasn't that the plan? How's that Hopenchange now?)
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To: marktwain

“We just love to ban stuff, it’s in our genes.”

“We’d ban cigarettes, but we’d lose so much tax money.”

“The ATF need something to do”

“We don’t like them, so you shouldn’t have them.”

8 posted on 03/07/2009 6:49:37 AM PST by yazoo
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To: marktwain

If at first you don’t succeed; try, try again. Because, hey; the sheeple have a short attention span.

9 posted on 03/11/2009 6:12:46 PM PDT by packrat01 (Hitchhikers may be escaping inmates.)
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To: marktwain

I’d call it (any “gun control” act, actually) the “DemocRats are Whiny, Bedwetting, Cringing Cowards Act of (19XX|20XX)”

10 posted on 03/11/2009 6:15:58 PM PDT by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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