Skip to comments.DUmmie FUnnies 12-27-09 ("I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!")
Posted on 12/27/2009 7:18:56 PM PST by Charles Henrickson
Homeland Jan sez: "The system worked!"
So in the wake of the terrorists running amok again, there's talk of new rules requiring passengers to stay seated during the last hour of the flight. This could cause some problems, though, for passengers with . . . let's say, a certain pressing need to get up and go. Things are all wee-wee'd up! The ineptitude of Team Incompetent is affecting the incontinent! And the DUmmies are not pleased, as we see in this THREAD, "I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!"
So fasten your seat belt, stow your tray, and put your seat in an upright position, as we encounter some DUmmie turbulence, in Threat Level Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if he will have to lay off the ginger ale the next time he flies, is in the [brackets]:
I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!
[Yes we can!]
There is no way I can hold my bladder that long. . . .
[Hope and change!]
So what do they expect with this silly rule. Pee my pants?
[Listen, Hillary, Ol' Crusty has been through a lot. I'm sure she can handle that.]
I'll bet it enough people really did pee in their pants this rule would end damn quick. Perhaps an organized "Pee In" is in order here.
[Call the NAAPP.]
I am seriously thinking I need a note from my doctor.
[Six months, minimum, under Obamacare.]
I would also have a problem with the last hour and not being able to pee. Sometimes I have to go every 15 minutes. And being nervous doesn't help. Not to mention having IBS.
[Irritable Bolshevik Syndrome.]
I think maybe something more than a "pee in" is needed here. There should also be a "sh*t in." A whole planeload of people sitting in their own sh*ts smelling the place up.
All of the things this guy did could have been accomplished mid flight. Just because it happened shortly before landing isn't justification for changing onboard bathroom procedures.
[OK, no bathroom breaks AT ALL, the whole flight!]
Of course it does not stop the neo nazi thugs jumping on the bandwagon of racial profile all Muslims.
[Yeah, just a coincidence that 100% of these terrorist airplane guys are Muslims, I guess. We really need to be concerned about the radical Lutherans and their exploding lutefisk.]
Visualize swirled pees!
[You win the Nobel Piss Prize!]
I think this new rule is just for international flights . . .
[On Incontinental Airlines.]
I hope people on planes all sh*t their pants in unison. one two three CRAP. that might change things.
[Crap and Trade . . . Underwear.]
This has nothing to do with President Obama.
[Piss be upon him.]
we're dealing with a bureaucracy that thinks it has to do something after every incident, whether what they do makes any sense or not. The reality is that this man should never have been allowed to board a plane bound for the USA. . . . Barn door closing regulations that don't address that are the feeble hand-waving of some Peter Principled bureaucrat who can't think of anything else to do.
[We'd send you a Kewpie Doll, but new regulations prohibit the shipment of Kewpie-like materials.]
I do believe that Obama has a responsibility to start leaning on DHS to stop oppressing civilians who are just trying to get to Grandma's for the holidays.
[Throw Grandma under the bus and you don't have to worry about it.]
Frankly, President Obama has had a lot on his plate in 2009.
[Don't expect him to have time for national security.]
What's next? Will they make everyone fly naked?
[Be thankful the DUmmies don't fly much.]
As for us.give us the liberty to pee or we chose not to fly.
[DON'T TREAD ON PEE!]
I just hope they use warm KY Jelly on their latex gloves for those body cavity probes. . . .
[Calm down, benburch, calm down!]
what if people go through those body scanners and they've got a bit of constipation and the screen shows something strange in the lower abdominal area (an impacted stool). . . . Forced enemas?
[With wands like these, who needs enemas?]
If enough people leave behind a "puddle", the policy will change back very quickly. Think of it as a form of protest.
[All we are saying . . . is give pee a chance!]
Diapers. . . .
[benburch is in heaven!]
ever hear of depends undergarments...?
[Change we can relieve in.]
wear crappy, comfortable clothes and piss in their seat.
[OK, the DUmmies already DO this. So what NEW do you suggest?]
Whip it out and let it fly in the aisle.
[The system that works!]
Also the seats are now incredibly uncomfortable. The only reason I can give for the horrible service nowadays is that it is a marketing ploy. The airlines probably think that people will HATE flying coach so much that they will be more willing to fly first class.
Gatorade bottles have a wide neck. Just sayin...
The terrorist son of a whore brought a bomb on board a plane and nearly detonated. Is this YOUR definition of the system working?
The system failed. Fortunately, so did the bomb. Had it detonated as intended, the passengers would not have had the opportunity to kick the guy's ass.
You always get a laugh outta me.
You go ahead and all crap your pants for the last hour of the flight. You can live with the smell for that hour and the hour you wait on the tarmac waiting for a gate plus the hout of TSA searching the plane.
“Whip it out and let it fly in the aisle.”
Cool it, Ben Burch.
You mean 1970?
I have given this much thought as I am to travel soon. Since I am not allowed to take any liquids on board a flight, I will instead take an empty can to urinate in and drop it off at the security screener when I deplane. This keeps the seats clean for the next passenger, relieves me of any “pressure” that builds up since I am NOT allowed to take care of my business anywhere but in my seat and gives Janet Napolitano a reason to continue her ignorance.
FOTFLOL You are so bad......
That is a plan so cunning that you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel. :-)
Maybe the airlines will install relief tubes for each seat...
The nuts are getting restless. Be a shame for FReepers to go over there and stir the pot.
Calm down, benburch, calm down!
Dammit Henrickson, you always steal the benburch-rich quotes before we have a chance!
ugh. I refuse to contemplate
Oh, I dunno. Depends...
[Yes we can!]
But the system worked according to the security secretary.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
[Yeah, just a coincidence that 100% of these terrorist airplane guys are Muslims, I guess. . . .
The young muSLIMES are not blowing up the Amish buggies.
Well, he is sympathetic to the muSLIMES.
How about those astronaut diapers?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.