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DUmmie FUnnies 12-27-09 ("I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 27, 2009 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 12/27/2009 7:18:56 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

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To: Jet Jaguar

Depends.

FOTFLOL You are so bad......


51 posted on 12/27/2009 8:56:35 PM PST by notpoliticallycorewrecked (According to the MSM, I'm a fringe sitting, pajama wearing Freeper)
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To: Semperfiwife

That is a plan so cunning that you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel. :-)


52 posted on 12/27/2009 9:00:23 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: GeronL

Maybe the airlines will install relief tubes for each seat...


53 posted on 12/27/2009 9:04:23 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The nuts are getting restless. Be a shame for FReepers to go over there and stir the pot.

Happy 2010


54 posted on 12/27/2009 9:10:03 PM PST by bray (What ya in for Son? No Health Insurance. Me too.)
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To: Incorrigible

SBT

:)


55 posted on 12/27/2009 9:14:13 PM PST by MindBender26 (Obama is what you get when you let the O.J. jury selects a president !)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I just hope they use warm KY Jelly on their latex gloves for those body cavity probes. . . .

Calm down, benburch, calm down!

Dammit Henrickson, you always steal the benburch-rich quotes before we have a chance!

56 posted on 12/27/2009 9:26:16 PM PST by doorgunner69
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To: Army Air Corps

ugh. I refuse to contemplate


57 posted on 12/27/2009 9:45:48 PM PST by GeronL (This is a tagline)
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To: Army Air Corps
Photobucket
58 posted on 12/27/2009 10:47:47 PM PST by BattleHymn
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To: Charles Henrickson
So what do they expect with this silly rule. Pee my pants?

Oh, I dunno. Depends...

59 posted on 12/28/2009 12:00:55 AM PST by Purrcival (Proud to share my birthday with President Reagan)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!

[Yes we can!]

But the system worked according to the security secretary.


I am seriously thinking I need a note from my doctor.

Yeah, that's the ticket.


Of course it does not stop the neo nazi thugs jumping on the bandwagon of racial profile all Muslims.

[Yeah, just a coincidence that 100% of these terrorist airplane guys are Muslims, I guess. . . .

The young muSLIMES are not blowing up the Amish buggies.


This has nothing to do with President Obama.

Well, he is sympathetic to the muSLIMES.


ever hear of depends undergarments...?

How about those astronaut diapers?

60 posted on 12/28/2009 5:27:51 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (I am tired of being PC. It's time for torches, pitchforks, tar, feathers and GUNS.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Personally, I rarely use the term, “scared”. However, when considering “radical Lutherans and their exploding lutefisk”, all bets are off.

I once spent a Christmas in Northern Minnesota with a family of Norwegian origin. I HAVE experienced lutefisk, and I can honestly say that it was frightening, not only to smell, but to eat. God help us...

61 posted on 12/28/2009 8:08:26 AM PST by alarm rider (The left will always tell you who they fear the most. What are they telling you now?)
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To: Roscoe Karns; PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; ...
Thought I would see a song parody tacked on the end: “Peeing on a Jet Plane”.

Thanx for the inspiration, Roscoe!

BONUS PARODY:

RELIEVING ON A JET PLANE
Tune: "Leaving on a Jet Plane" MIDI

All my bladder's full, I'm ready to go
The stewardess is sayin' no
I hate to wait an hour to drain it dry
But the sign is flashin', we have to sit
The time is over for takin' a sh*t
Already I'm so pissed that I could try

So piss in the aisle with me
Tell me that you'll wait to pee
Hold it till you really have to go
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Oy vey, I have to go

There's so many times I've held it in
So many times I've forced a grin
While squirmin' in my seat until we land
Every flight I've had, we're overdue
Every rule they add, I sit and stew
The time has come for us to take a stand

So piss in the aisle with me
Tell me that you'll wait to pee
Hold it till you really have to go
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Oy vey, I have to go

Now the time has come for action
Before I suffer stool impaction
Their silly rules I must now defy
So when your bowels are feelin' weak
When you would like to take a leak
Just drop your drawers, it's time to let it fly

Piss in the aisle with me
Tell me that you'll wait to pee
Hold it till you really have to go
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Relievin' on a jet plane
I don't know when we can use the can
Oy vey, I have to go

62 posted on 12/28/2009 8:32:22 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: alarm rider
We German Lutherans aren't 'radicalized'. We don't eat Lutefisk. We eat Zulze instead. Spread on good German rye, MMMmmmmmm.
63 posted on 12/28/2009 8:40:39 AM PST by bcsco (Hey, GOP: The American Indians found out what happens when you don't control immigration...)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Frankly, President Obama has had a lot on his plate in 2009.

Yeah, most of it traditional Hawaiian fare.
64 posted on 12/28/2009 8:40:44 AM PST by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)
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To: Charles Henrickson; Roscoe Karns; PJ-Comix

And the thread just keeps on giving .... nice work!


65 posted on 12/28/2009 8:44:26 AM PST by mikrofon (DUFU Bump)
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To: Charles Henrickson

As sung by “Peter Pulled & Harried”?


66 posted on 12/28/2009 8:57:01 AM PST by mikrofon (DUFU Bump)
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To: Charles Henrickson
A Good One.

But the mental image of a plane full of DUmmies relieving themselves (from both ends) in the aisles and seats isn't a pretty one. Bodily fluids are already a Bio-Hazard and with DUmmies, God only knows what alien bugs they have in their system. The CDC would have to show up in Moon Suits.

And I don't want to be on any plane that Ben Burch has even been near! :-)

67 posted on 12/28/2009 9:04:14 AM PST by Condor51 (The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!

That Nappy would come up with a "solution" like disallowing visits to the w/c in the last hour of flight on the assumption that ALL terrorists will stick to his random scedule makes one wonder if her brain synapses are similarly arbitrary, or just napping.

68 posted on 12/28/2009 9:16:59 AM PST by 4woodenboats (B0-"There'll be no shooting of out of uniform enemies" RR-"The Bombing Will Begin In 5 Minutes")
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To: Charles Henrickson

Into the top 70 like a line moving through airport security!


69 posted on 12/28/2009 9:29:27 AM PST by Mr. Silverback (I want a hippopotamus for Christmas! Only a hippopotamus will do!)
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To: LUV W
When Obama says (over and over) "let me be clear" you can interpret it as "let me lie to you"!

Dick Nixon: "Let me be perfectly clear"

It's not coincidence.

70 posted on 12/28/2009 9:38:42 AM PST by Mr. Silverback (I want a hippopotamus for Christmas! Only a hippopotamus will do!)
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To: 4woodenboats; PJ-Comix; mikrofon; Roscoe Karns
That Nappy would come up with. . . .

That's it! In honor of Homeland Secretary Janet Napolitano, we will call our TSA-issued Personal Flight Undergarment . . . a "Nappy"!


71 posted on 12/28/2009 9:40:56 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (The system worked.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

So, what happens if the plane is put into rotation and forced into a flight pattern because of a situation on the ground and landing is delayed?

This happened once on a flight I was on, we circled Denver airport for a long time due to bad weather.

What happens then?


72 posted on 12/28/2009 9:47:14 AM PST by prairiebreeze (Don't need to pee during the last hour.)
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To: prairiebreeze
This happened once on a flight I was on, we circled Denver airport for a long time due to bad weather. What happens then?

Things get real 'nasty'.

73 posted on 12/28/2009 9:48:36 AM PST by houeto (Free Republic will not support RINOS!! Rudy McRomney, et al, can go straight to hell!! -JR)
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To: prairiebreeze; houeto

You’re truly in a “holding pattern”!


74 posted on 12/28/2009 9:56:42 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (The system worked.)
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To: 4woodenboats; PJ-Comix; mikrofon; Roscoe Karns; Mr. Silverback

Homeland Nappy sez: "The system worked. . . . No, wait! The system FAILED! Of course. . . . It didn't work, it failed. Bigtime. My words were taken out of context. . . . Yeah, and we're, uh, we're undertaking a comprehensive review--a COMPREHENSIVE . . . REVIEW--of all the, uh, policies and procedures that we inherited from THE PREVIOUS ADMINISTRATION, and, uh. . . . OUR system will really WORK!"

75 posted on 12/28/2009 10:17:02 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (The system worked.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

LOL!!


76 posted on 12/28/2009 10:26:50 AM PST by prairiebreeze (Don't need to pee during the last hour.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

lol

thats funny


77 posted on 12/28/2009 10:35:04 AM PST by GeronL (This is a tagline)
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To: Army Air Corps; GeronL; PJ-Comix

78 posted on 12/28/2009 11:36:39 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (The system worked.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
LOL!

Stewardess, could you please get me another bloody mary, and....I could probably use another *NAPPY*, and one for my friend, too!

79 posted on 12/28/2009 2:11:45 PM PST by 4woodenboats (*NAPPY*.. .Because it's a small world after all.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Perhaps a bit of poetry to continue the bathroom humor.

Oh Captain please!

Get us to the gate

So I can give the zipper snake

A final shake!

80 posted on 12/28/2009 2:54:03 PM PST by investigateworld (Abortion stops a beating heart)
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To: Charles Henrickson

That’s peein’ yer pants hilarious!


81 posted on 12/28/2009 3:03:33 PM PST by Roscoe Karns
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To: Charles Henrickson
Every rule they add, I sit and stew
The time has come for us to take a stand

Seems like all the DUmmies have 9/10/2001 mentality.

82 posted on 12/28/2009 3:35:36 PM PST by Arrowhead1952 (I am tired of being PC. It's time for torches, pitchforks, tar, feathers and GUNS.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

It’s going to be a real hoot when the first Democrat Congressman is hauled out of a flight for not obeying this ludicrous rule.


83 posted on 12/28/2009 3:40:45 PM PST by Mike Darancette (Copenhagen Climate Summit; Shovel Ready)
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To: Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; Paul Heinzman; Roscoe Karns; bad company; Purrcival; ...

#05 Top Primitive of 2009 now up.

The bottom five of the top ten were moved to the DUmping Ground, a sub-forum of the DUmpster, so as to make space for the top five of the top ten.

Link on next comment, below.


84 posted on 12/28/2009 3:46:22 PM PST by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives, in service to humanity)
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To: franksolich

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,38345.0.html


85 posted on 12/28/2009 3:46:55 PM PST by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives, in service to humanity)
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To: franksolich

Bookmarking. This post is long, but promises to be entertaining. Thanks, franksolich!


86 posted on 12/28/2009 11:27:09 PM PST by Purrcival (Proud to share my birthday with President Reagan)
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To: LUV W
Want a barf (or larf) ?

Big First Year,

87 posted on 12/29/2009 7:31:17 AM PST by 1066AD
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To: maggief

Al Franken modeling the latest in travel attire!


88 posted on 12/29/2009 8:40:13 AM PST by thile44 (Simplicity is too complex.)
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To: HerrBlucher
Simple answer-

The “hot stewardess” is gone from most airlines due to political correctness and feminism.

Everything else is changed due to rising fuel prices and taxes. Oil was damn near free for a long time so airlines could afford to fly empty planes.

89 posted on 12/29/2009 9:43:40 AM PST by varyouga (2 natural disasters, zerO action. Obama doesn't care about white people!)
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To: Purrcival; PJ-Comix; Charles Henrickson; Paul Heinzman; Xenalyte; Mr. Silverback; Ditter; Deetes; ..

Top Primitives of 2009 #5, #4, and #3 up now.

Link on next comment, below; link is to the forum page, but they’re all “stickied” to the top.

One of them is a particular favorite for many of us here.

Also, same link, a memorial thread for the one who gave the Bostonian Drunkard so much grief during Fitzmas (she went under “OldLeftyLawyer” at the time). She had recently been mausoleumed by my fellow alum Skins, and found us, and posted there.

A great lady, “Tangerine LaBamba,” once “OldLeftyLawyer,” and long ago re-baptized as Gloria Swanson by yours truly.


90 posted on 12/29/2009 2:18:38 PM PST by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives, in service to humanity)
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To: franksolich

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/board,10.0.html


91 posted on 12/29/2009 2:19:20 PM PST by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives, in service to humanity)
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To: 1066AD

I don’t know which to do first! LOL!

He’s tired??? WE’re tired OF him! Poor baby! What a wuss!

It was funny in a sick, pathetic sort of way, though! :D


92 posted on 12/29/2009 2:21:21 PM PST by LUV W (When Obama says (over and over) "let me be clear" you can interpret it as "let me lie to you"!)
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To: franksolich

bump


93 posted on 12/29/2009 2:23:59 PM PST by GeronL (This is a tagline)
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To: Charles Henrickson

You know, I just realized...Janet Napolitano and Dick Durbin, separated at birth.


94 posted on 12/29/2009 4:54:27 PM PST by Mr. Silverback (We're right, we're free, we'll fight and you'll see!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Great stuff.

You win at internets.


95 posted on 12/29/2009 4:57:43 PM PST by Eric Blair 2084 (Beware of the Socialist Government-Academia Grant Junkie-Rich "non-profit"-Liberal Media Complex)
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To: 1066AD

Aw, the poor widdle baby!


96 posted on 12/29/2009 5:00:01 PM PST by Mr. Silverback (We're right, we're free, we'll fight and you'll see!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“[With wands like these, who needs enemas?]”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa!!!!


97 posted on 01/02/2010 7:37:03 PM PST by mondonico (Peace through Superior Firepower)
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