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Would you dump a woman for using a coupon?
Dr. Helen ^ | February 22, 2010 | Helen Smith

Posted on 02/23/2010 7:10:06 AM PST by PJ-Comix

I was reading dating advice for women from men at Cosmo and came across a rather amusing letter to "the guy guru who answers your most pressing sex and love questions." The letter is from a woman who is upset that a guy used a coupon to buy her dinner:

I went out for dinner with this guy, and it was great — we got along well, and there was a definite spark. But when it came time to pay, he pulled out a coupon. I'm hardly a princess, but that totally killed it for me. Am I being too hard on him?


The guy guru gives okay advice back, not great, but not bad:

It was unquestionably a boneheaded maneuver on his part, but yes, cutting him loose on that one faux pas sounds extreme. There are factors to weigh. For one, how old is the dude? If he's still in school or graduated recently, it could just be that he hasn't dated a lot and was short on funds — the economy isn't exactly booming right now. And to be fair, he didn't ask you to go dutch, so he did still take you out to dinner.

If he's older and financially stable, then you have more reason to be turned off. Any guy with a little experience should know that you don't flash coupons on a first date — you bide your time till the chick is in the bathroom, then feverishly shove it into the waiter's hand! In all seriousness, it could be a sign that he'd turn out to be a cheapskate.


Well, I thought it was nice that the guy bought her dinner. I would think a coupon was a little quirky and endearing, but that's me. If it was reversed and a woman pulled out a coupon to pay on a first date, would you dump her or just be glad she paid?

On the other hand, the equivalent for women might be something different than paying for a meal with a coupon--it might be something appearance oriented or behavioral that a guy would find just as questionable. What would that be?


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: coupons
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To: YankeeGirl
++just my perspective++

I agree. It'd be a turn off. Take her on a picnic. Take her to some place half that price. But pulling out a coupon on the first date, I don't know if I could get past that and I fully appreciate frugality.

51 posted on 02/23/2010 7:33:45 AM PST by riri (Resistance-It's the New Black)
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To: PJ-Comix

“Except you can also buy the luxuries with coupons. “

yes but you can now buy more of it ;)


52 posted on 02/23/2010 7:34:22 AM PST by DM1
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To: YankeeGirl

I would think there are ways to be discreet. Tell the server/maitre de/greeter, quietly that you have a coupon. And prepare before hand, wrap it around your credit card or place it among the cash.


53 posted on 02/23/2010 7:34:45 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (Freepmail me to get on the Bourbon ping list.)
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To: qam1

“But on the flip side I would never use a coupon on a 1st couple of dates, it’s tacky and shows you are cheap.”

On subsequent dates it would be fine, but on the first date? Tacky and cheap.

“Same with coupons on the the 1st date, seriously how much could he have saved? $5 - $10? If the woman was even potentially worth it, he should have sucked it up and paid full price.”

First impressions are important. Frugal is fine, but a person should know when to be classy and charming. First date coupon sends a creepy message.

If I were dating, I would want to date you. :-)

My fiancee wouldn’t go dutch on our first date, nor even let me leave the tip, thought I offered to do both. Later on, I did often pick up the tab. (Seemed right since I made a significant bit more than he did then.)


54 posted on 02/23/2010 7:35:29 AM PST by YankeeGirl
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To: PJ-Comix

Yeah he was already using the meal to get cheap sex. You can’t double up on coupons for that! ;-)


55 posted on 02/23/2010 7:35:59 AM PST by red tie
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To: riri
But pulling out a coupon on the first date, I don't know if I could get past that and I fully appreciate frugality.

When using "stealth" coupons, she never actually sees the coupon. Hee! Hee!

56 posted on 02/23/2010 7:36:45 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: posterchild

No, I’ve never lived in Boston. ;-D

Coupons are wonderful, and I think anyone who uses them in an organized way is probably financially responsible. That’s a good indication of character, imo.


57 posted on 02/23/2010 7:37:38 AM PST by Judith Anne (2012 Sarah Palin/Duncan Hunter 2012)
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To: Haiku Guy

“A sensible man would intentionally use a coupon on the first date, to weed out the women who don’t appreciate the value of a dollar.”

Agreed.


58 posted on 02/23/2010 7:37:51 AM PST by devere
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Its kind of obvious why she was single, isn’t it?


59 posted on 02/23/2010 7:40:34 AM PST by VOR78
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To: PJ-Comix
It's all a matter of perception.
60 posted on 02/23/2010 7:40:51 AM PST by reg45
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To: devere

My New Years Resolution was to live like a King while spending very little. I’m not there yet but at the rate I’m going I should be there before the end of the year. To me its a mental game. First see things you want cheap and then figure out how to get them via coupons. Google search is one great way. Almost everything out there has coupons that you can print out. I used to think gasoline would be impossible to purchase cheap via coupons. WRONG! And anybody who pays full price for a Las Vegas vacation has to out of his mind. Discount packages are easily available. And now I am working on how to get cheap airlines tickets via couponing. Not there yet, but I KNOW it can be solved.


61 posted on 02/23/2010 7:44:12 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Either this is a down-to-earth guy, financially responsible and all that, which is great, keep him--or, since most people try to put their very best (unrealistically so) foot forward on a first date, this is as good as it's ever going to get with him and he is, to say the least, socially awkward. I don't think it's as cut and dried as some have said.


62 posted on 02/23/2010 7:44:28 AM PST by Cinnamontea
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To: YankeeGirl
Whipping a coupon out at the end of the 1st date kind of says to me that I wasn’t worth paying full price

And ... he'd be right.

63 posted on 02/23/2010 7:46:11 AM PST by ctdonath2 (Pelosi is practically President; the Obama is just her talk show host.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Food is the easiest thing to buy for almost nothing via coupons. For a long time I thought both meat and produce were off the table as far as buying at a steep discount or for almost nothing. WRONG! I have gotten so good at it that I now have the ability feed a hundred unwed LCMS Lutherans for a week for almost nothing.


64 posted on 02/23/2010 7:47:40 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: red tie
Yeah he was already using the meal to get cheap sex. You can’t double up on coupons for that! ;-)

WRong! Dinner out does NOT equal sex after.

65 posted on 02/23/2010 7:48:05 AM PST by Judith Anne (2012 Sarah Palin/Duncan Hunter 2012)
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To: PJ-Comix

I would dump a chick for using Federal Reserve notes. If she wants to hang with the Sloth, she’ll pay in gold, or barter. Paying with fiat paper is tacky.


66 posted on 02/23/2010 7:48:24 AM PST by Sloth (Civil disobedience? I'm afraid only the uncivil kind is going to cut it this time.)
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To: reg45; PJ-Comix
He is saving up for more important things - like an engagement ring.

Well, then we really are dealing with a guy living in mom's basement because this is the first date.

PJComix -- I wouldn't care much beyond the first date. But, a first date is a first date. You know first impressions and all that.

Once, in school, I had a bartending job and I started a second job at a different place. As with bartending you have "regulars" who follow you form place to place. So, one of my "regulars" finagled himself a date with one of the waitresses.

He brought her to a bbq, where he brought a few 2 liter bottles of soda. Upon leaving, realizing no one drank his soda, he picked it up and took it home with him. She never went out with him again for that reason. And I never lived it down. (:

67 posted on 02/23/2010 7:48:35 AM PST by riri (Resistance-It's the New Black)
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To: YankeeGirl
Whipping a coupon out at the end of the 1st date kind of says to me that I wasn’t worth paying full price, and he’ll save that for another date.

You point out the essential woman's perspective. One major purpose of the date is for the woman to see how much money the guy is willing to spend in order to be with her, as a measure of how much he values her. The more money, the higher her perceived status in his eyes.

68 posted on 02/23/2010 7:48:57 AM PST by PapaBear3625 (Public healthcare looks like it will work as well as public housing did.)
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To: ctdonath2

He took her to a restaurant that took coupons?! On a first date! Unless it was a very casual “let’s have lunch” type of thing, this guy is cheap!

If the guy is financially strapped, it would have been a better move to prepare a nice dinner for her at home rather than go to a coupon restaurant.


69 posted on 02/23/2010 7:49:48 AM PST by californianmom
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To: PJ-Comix

OK, I’m in. Give me the website address! I am constantly amazed at your couponing prowess.


70 posted on 02/23/2010 7:50:36 AM PST by CharlieOK1 (Keep your eyes on the sky... put a dollar in the kitty)
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To: YankeeGirl

I totally agree.


71 posted on 02/23/2010 7:51:12 AM PST by retrokitten
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To: Judith Anne
WRong! Dinner out does NOT equal sex after.

It would mean that IF I were wearing Old Spice after shave and cologne. BTW, the Old Spice company once sent me a bunch of great coupons because I wrote them a letter praising their products.

72 posted on 02/23/2010 7:51:42 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: qam1
Giving women flowers is equally dumb, they die in a few days anyhow, but we guys still have to do it. Women are just the way they are and it's part of the mating game.

Women like to receive the sliced-off reproductive organs of some plant. I won't go into the symbolism.

73 posted on 02/23/2010 7:51:48 AM PST by PapaBear3625 (Public healthcare looks like it will work as well as public housing did.)
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To: qam1
Giving women flowers is equally dumb, they die in a few days anyhow, but we guys still have to do it.

In forty eight hours, that expensive dinner will just be poo. The flowers are a better deal - the ones I got for my wife for Valentine's Day are still hanging in there after ten days.

74 posted on 02/23/2010 7:52:33 AM PST by reg45
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To: californianmom
He took her to a restaurant that took coupons?! On a first date! Unless it was a very casual “let’s have lunch” type of thing, this guy is cheap!

You must be quite wealthy.

75 posted on 02/23/2010 7:53:56 AM PST by Sloth (Civil disobedience? I'm afraid only the uncivil kind is going to cut it this time.)
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To: californianmom

Well, from a guy’s perspective, is she interested in him or how much he can spend on her? If its the latter, he’s better off without her.

As I said earlier, this guy is a genius. He’s got a perfect method for weeding out the superficial trash.


76 posted on 02/23/2010 7:54:15 AM PST by VOR78
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To: VOR78

I had a friend who was pretty wealthy. He had the nice car, but then he had an average car as well. On first dates, he would always use the average car. He would not give away how rich he was, in fact, he would go out of his way to appear that he wasn’t rich at all. Then he would have a better gauge of what the woman was really all about.


77 posted on 02/23/2010 7:54:35 AM PST by dfwgator
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To: PJ-Comix

If I were still single, and a girl got mad because I’d used a coupon, I’d dump the selfish, vacuous little twit in a heartbeat.


78 posted on 02/23/2010 7:54:40 AM PST by Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus (We bury Democrats face down so that when they scratch, they get closer to home.)
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To: reg45
n forty eight hours, that expensive dinner will just be poo.

Not the memory of the dinner though. A nice, long leisurely dinner with a little wine and reminiscing is nice.

I told my husband early on when dating, don't ever buy me flowers or jewelry unless you get them off the back of some guys truck. (:

79 posted on 02/23/2010 7:54:51 AM PST by riri (Resistance-It's the New Black)
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To: PJ-Comix; Charles Henrickson

Go for it, buddy. Our new TV is being delivered today, but not bought on coupons :) I’m dismantling all the wires from the old TV, and took a break to check FR. The old TV is going to a young family we know.

Take care...

Jimbo


80 posted on 02/23/2010 7:54:54 AM PST by bcsco (Obama is the navel of his own universe.)
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To: CharlieOK1

Start at NeverPayRetailAgain.Net. That is the starting point. Then go to the MANY couponing forums on the web like HotCouponWorld.Com. Constant research is necessary. I spend a MINIMUM of an hour per day researching.


81 posted on 02/23/2010 7:55:12 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: Judith Anne
WRong! Dinner out does NOT equal sex after.

Yeah you may be right. Most girls today probably like sex before dinner without feeling obligated. ;-)

82 posted on 02/23/2010 7:55:48 AM PST by red tie
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To: PJ-Comix

But then, you spend a fortune on the printer ink cartridges printing those coupons one per A4 page!


83 posted on 02/23/2010 7:56:56 AM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: bcsco
Go for it, buddy. Our new TV is being delivered today

I'm actually planning on buying a 26" flatscreen TV via coupons. Now that I think about it, I think I will buy that before the Kindle Reader. Depends on my mood.

My ULTIMATE electronic product would be a Bose Wave Radio purchased via coupons.

84 posted on 02/23/2010 7:57:24 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: Revolting cat!
But then, you spend a fortune on the printer ink cartridges printing those coupons one per A4 page!

Except that printer ink cartridges can easily be bought with coupons.

85 posted on 02/23/2010 7:58:40 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Except you can also buy the luxuries with coupons.

... I wasn’t the guy in line, so can you tell us the suggested website, especially for luxury stuff?? Please and thanks in advance,

EI


86 posted on 02/23/2010 8:04:50 AM PST by ElectionInspector
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To: mom4melody

I agree. Any savings anywhere are a good thing.


87 posted on 02/23/2010 8:06:32 AM PST by Sunshine Sister
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To: devere
“A sensible man would intentionally use a coupon on the first date, to weed out the women who don’t appreciate the value of a dollar.” Agreed.

If I wasn't married, I would try that on my next night out. My wife does have a coupon book, we both agree that we are cheap dates.

88 posted on 02/23/2010 8:06:59 AM PST by rightly_dividing
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To: YankeeGirl

“Whipping a coupon out at the end of the 1st date kind of says to me that I wasn’t worth paying full price”

Are you for sale to the high bidder?

What words would you choose to describe a woman who is for sale to the high bidder?


89 posted on 02/23/2010 8:07:04 AM PST by devere
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To: mbynack

I’m a woman and I say dump her. I can see someone like this keeping a guy in the poorhouse and then some. Course I am basing part of this on my own attitudes about spending, and by observing a ahhh well a social climbing person in my own family.


90 posted on 02/23/2010 8:07:33 AM PST by handmade
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To: devere
What words would you choose to describe a woman who is for sale to the high bidder?

Someone who's a hopin' for a bidding war! (:

91 posted on 02/23/2010 8:08:17 AM PST by riri (Resistance-It's the New Black)
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To: PJ-Comix

She is nuts for not asking him where he got the coupon!


92 posted on 02/23/2010 8:10:17 AM PST by kcvl
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To: ElectionInspector

Check one of my previous replies. I gave TWO websites that you can use as starting points for your research. Remember, constant research is all important but the payoff is tons of freebies or near freebies. Well worth it.


93 posted on 02/23/2010 8:10:53 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: kcvl

Psst! You can even get the coupons on eBay.


94 posted on 02/23/2010 8:11:33 AM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Answer: Dump that guy, and fast.

You’ll be doing him a favor.


95 posted on 02/23/2010 8:11:45 AM PST by john in springfield
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To: californianmom
He took her to a restaurant that took coupons?!

Seems you are unaware of what restaurants DO take coupons. Would you rather get the $25 entrée without coupon, or $50 with? You'd be surprised...

On a first date!

Which is more important: being with him at a thoughtfully fancy restaurant, or ensuring he wastes money?

96 posted on 02/23/2010 8:12:04 AM PST by ctdonath2 (Pelosi is practically President; the Obama is just her talk show host.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Women can be weird about coupon use. I’ve used food coupons rarely in my sixty years, but my wife has a coupon for everything, god bless her. However, just try to give a gift certificate for money to my wife instead of a tangible gizmo. Grounds for divorce!!


97 posted on 02/23/2010 8:13:58 AM PST by driftless2 (for long term happiness, learn how to play the accordion)
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To: dfwgator
Now if he stiffed the waiter on the tip, that's a whole other story.

Exactly. I think that would show a lot more about his character. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat wait staff and cashiers.

98 posted on 02/23/2010 8:18:47 AM PST by Hoffer Rand (There ARE two Americas: "God's children" and the tax payers)
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To: PJ-Comix

But then, what kind of a man would read COSMO? (Did ya subscribe to it using coupons?)


99 posted on 02/23/2010 8:23:49 AM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Coupons

100 posted on 02/23/2010 8:26:50 AM PST by Wolverine (A Concerned Citizen)
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