Skip to comments.Daycare Travesty Repeated Daily
Posted on 08/12/2010 8:30:15 AM PDT by eRtwngr
My wife left her job when we had our first child and has been home for the birth and rearing of all 7. Has it been hard at times? Do we sacrifice some things? Sure. But isn't that what marriage and family are supposed to be about in the first place?
What kind of rude, self-centered drones are we thrusting on the world? Ones whose first memories are that their parents didn't love them enough to spend time raising them.
(Excerpt) Read more at ertwngr.blogspot.com ...
No, you should have signed up for food stamps, subsidized housing, heat-aid fund, etc., etc..so one of you could quit working (NOT my belief, but seems to be the message of many FReepers on this thread).
Your emotions are getting the better of you. We all cant have the perfect life such as you and your family.
Relax and go save the world tomorrow. . .
“That brush is so broad I think you just erased a crater on the moon.”
Aint that the truth! God help them with their self righteous know it all attitude. Shoot who knew I don’t qualify to be a conservative based on some posters’ opinions
Are you saying I could get paid to stay home and set a good example for my child?
Now getting back to the original article...
Perhaps you could scale down to something you could more easily afford. There is no shame in doing that. Your child will be taught a valuable lesson as well. Always live within your means. Truly this is admirable. It will give you peace.
Why live beyond what you can afford now to impress people you probably don't even like? Why? Think about it. Good people, don't judge you by what kind of a house you live in. Those that do, stay clear of - they are not your friends.
Truly they only grow up ONCE. Yes there will be days where you will tear your hair out. But then there are the days of pure joy - when you see your hard work of raising them pay off. It happens and carries you over those tough days.
A compliment I received, although my daughter didn't realize it was to hear her say, I really wanted to do (something wrong) and I didn't. I heard YOUR VOICE in my head telling me not to do it and I didn't. It wasn't anything serious but I was so pleased that I had a positive impact on her. I had to hide my joy ... because we are in the teenage years ... . I silently said in my mind, “Thank you Lord.”
Do you think relying on public aid is a good example?
If your wife stayed home, why did you put the kids in kindergarten? Does hitting five years old magically make all the daycare negatives go away?
Why is it the "experts" always tout these so called "facts", and yet deny all the statistics and news headlines about daycare or schools?
Funny, the same group of experts will then be on tv, talking about the failings of the public system, and how they need more money.
If the public system is failing and needs more money, why would a parent put their child into a proven failing system????
No my “emotions” are not getting the better of me. I am totally disgusted with people's narcissistic selfishness and when it comes to kids, I am especially disgusted.
“We all cant have the perfect life such as you and your family.”
There you go again! A PERFECT LIFE? Isn't that a TAD EXTREME? No, there is not a fallible person on this that has a PERFECT LIFE! How extreme can YOU get? Never mind, this will suffice.
“Relax and go save the world tomorrow.”
Oh, so now I am trying to “save the world” simply by stating the truth about people's selfishness and narcissism and EXTREME love of money? No, they are already doomed by CHOICE. I'm just pointing out times truth.
All they are doing is working up to heartache with kids that will have issues. I'm just warning them. As you can see, it's not going over well with them or you.
I don't understand why people like you don't vote for Demoncrats. They have the SAME OUTLOOK as YOU!
Life is just not so simple that we can say this is bad and that is great.
There are great stay at home moms that really spend the time with their children and there are stay at home moms that totally neglect the children even though the children are right with them.
There are working moms that spend as much time with their children as possible and are great moms, then there are working moms that neglect their children even when they are with them.
I hate daycare but I advised my daughters to use organized day care if they had to instead of using a person they did not know for home care. The reason I feel that way is day cares are checked far more often than home care, and there are more workers there to speak up if something is really wrong. Many home care providers are great but many are not licensed and no one checks up on them so how would you know?
My oldest daughter is a single parent and a nurse, she has a circle of friends that are also single parents and they swap child care and have a very good thing going. The children are all friends and the moms are friends and they are familiar with the different likes, dislikes, rules. They all live in the same complex of townhouses so the children can go to their own home after school to change, get their favorite toys, care for pets and what not before going to the neighbors until their mom gets home.
In a perfect world moms would not work away from home and would all be perfect moms, but reality is that everyone must do the best they can with their situation.
Single moms have to be creative, and to say all moms should stay home with their children- how does that work if mom is the only parent? Should she go on welfare- is that what we want?
I did quit working to raise my children and went back to work when my youngest was in middle school, I thought that was ideal for my family, but I would not assume that is right for everyone or that everyone can do that.
Bad parents are just bad parents, and good parents are good parents- day care can’t change that one way or the other.
Shocking the self-righteousness of opinions on this board. I guess I thought it was MY job as a parent to raise my children and not the government, but as I also note some postings’ authors may not have had a lot of life experience where they truly had to choose which side of principle they had to stand on...Put a child in day care so the parent can provide the basic needs of the child or have the government provide the basic needs of shelter, food, medical, clothing in order for them to stay home to raise the perfect little children. And I’m so glad they were able to pick their life’s circumstances of when to have children.
A. It’s the law, though there are some ways around it.
B. They don’t feed the kids with a bottle, change their diapers, leave them on a blanket staring at the ceiling all day
C. It’s for 3 hours, 9 months.
D. Mom’s on call and available.
E. Teachers are certified and restricted to class size and student to teacher ration of about 7 to 1.
F. Nice try.
Nive try? I’m just saying you don’t go far enough. I don’t see why anyone who has thought things through as far as you would not homeschool.
If anything public schools are worse than daycares, because besides being inadequate child care they are a horrible education and a bad preparation for life.
Did your going back to work when the kids were still in middle school have anything to do with them being single parents?
We were told by our parents that the teen years are when you are needed most, to greet the children off the bus and listen to their worries.
We’ve been fortunate in some ways with public school. But we “deprogram” the kids when they get home. I have a lot of respect for homeschoolers. Just never went that far. it could still be coming.
Deprogramming, or adding in stuff they should have learned at school and didn’t, seems way too much work for me. Plus I was homeschooled and can’t imagine a better way to grow up. Once you’ve made the sacrifices to have one parent stay home, there’s just no reason not to homeschool.
Search Columbia, Maryland real estate and get back to me on that would ya? What we have IS affordable in our area.
I suppose we can all hop into a time machine and undo our “bad choices” right nmh? Who are you, Dr. Emmett Brown?
People want to avoid personal responsibility and then shirk it on to others.
How many make bad choices at one time or another, and then down the road the price has to be paid. But the cost is too painful, and SHOULD be "shared" by others.
How many people make terrible choices in marriage, only to end up in divorce later.
How many of those now find themselves in "dire straights" and EXPECT someone else to bail them out.
On the flip side, as far as responsibility goes, there are others who refuse to see THEIR responsibility in helping others PERSONALLY.
Government is a way of detaching ourselves from the needs of others. Knowing government programs are out there, shields us from getting dirty.
It used to be that charity and compassion were the realms of churches, but have given that over to government. Churches used to be charity plus accountability. Today we EXPECT charity with NO accountability.
We have washed our hands of holding anybody accountable, and refuse to be held accountable ourselves.
We, as a society, act completely on emotion. We feel terrible about pain we bring upon ourselves and demand the removal of the pain. We are indignant about the discomfort others bring upon us.
We fail to realize that life at times is tough, whether our doings or not, and refuse the hard work involved.
We have all become insolent children.
Reasons I don’t qualify as a conservative, according to the Holier-Than-Thou Freeper Illuminati:
1. I have used a credit card before
2. I have seen a naked woman other than my wife before I met her (sorry, honey)
3. I have a daycare provider for my child
4. I listen to 80s metal
5. I don’t go to church every Sunday
6. I believe there is some merit to the theory of evolution
7. I realize that a guy who agrees 80% with me but gets sh*t done is better than a guy who agrees 100% with me but can’t win an election, or get any legislation passed if he/she does
8. I’ve actually admitted that Sarah Palin would be a very flawed candidate for President (I do like her though)
9. I’ve had financial problems in the past that I couldn’t erase simply by praying really hard and flaming people on FR
10. I’m partially of something other than Northern European descent
11. I got married after age 20 and my first child was born after I turned 30
12. I don’t think having 18 kids is something my wife and I will be doing
13. I watch television other than Fox News
14. I was a mortgage loan officer at one time
I have no idea who Dr. Emmert Brown is. Don't bother to tell me. I'm not interested.
” suppose we can all hop into a time machine and undo our bad choices
YOUR “bad choice” are NOT MY FAULT!
To suggest we use a “time machine” only points our your immaturity and LACK OF INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY.
YOUR LIFE and it's CONSEQUENCES are NOT MY FAULT!
LEARN from YOUR MISTAKES and help OTHERS AVOID MISTAKES.
It's ALL about INDIIDUAL RESPONSIBLITY and getting your priorities straight.
With the attitude you project, you should be a huge OBAMA SUPPORTER. Obama is all about blaming someone else and having OTHERS pay for their mistakes. Perhaps DU would be a friendlier place to your philosophy or irresponsibility and blaming others for YOUR LIFE?
ridiculous. all having a stay at home mom does anymore is ensure that 1 parent gets to see them. the working parent still ends up being a stranger.
and unless you’re going to homeschool them, what’s the point? they’ll still end up being raised by someone else after a couple years anyway.
not everyone that has children in daycare is a monster, sometimes its the right thing to do for the kids. better to be able to afford to do things with the kids and be able to give them opportunities they wouldn’t get if forced to live in a tiny house, barely have enough to eat, not have room enough to do anything, and generally be miserable.
What I am saying is don’t be enslaved to something that is beyond your means. I know of MANY that had grand houses and simply sold them and scaled down. Good times are not the present time and they recognized that. It truly is honorable to adjust with changes that aren't pleasant.
Truly it is not worth it to be worrying about the mortgage all the time. There is no joy or happiness in that. It's not shameful to be free of a mortgage that is enslaving you. Life is too short for that. If better times roll around, then by all means scale up! With Obama at the helm, it is only getting worse. Ge ahead of the curve, unload it. Make family your priorty and not the lifestyle and mortgage.
It's not worth it!
When did I say anything was your fault? You say “YOUR LIFE and it’s CONSEQUENCES are NOT MY FAULT!”
OK then, why not just SHUT UP?
Oh, and FYI, Dr. Brown’s the guy from the film Back to the Future who invented the time machine.
See post 45 - we do wish to leave this area at some point.
Can’t “unload” anything without paying every dime we have in savings just to sell - then we’ll have no home AND no savings. We owe more than we could sell it for.
I never once asked you to pay for any of this and I don’t know why you keep suggesting I did.
Isn't that a tad unfair and extreme to suggest that *I* FIND YOU a house you can more easily afford right now? I find the accusation a tad extreme that I should tell you where to live and at what price range to look. I consider that to be personal and an individual decision.
I live in over taxed, over priced New Jersey. We are unable to do the upgrade we wanted to do and I am not ashamed of that. I certainly wouldn't ask you to find me a home in New Jersey that I could more easily afford if we had a mortgage either. If that were the situation, we'd handle it privately and with dignity. I wouldn't blame you for the situation if we were in the same situation that you allude to.
What I am saying is don't be enslaved to something that is beyond your means. I know of MANY that had grand houses and simply sold them and scaled down. Good times are not the present time and they recognized that. It truly is honorable to adjust with changes that aren't pleasant.
Truly it is not worth it to be worrying about the mortgage all the time. There is no joy or happiness in that. It's not shameful to be free of a mortgage that is enslaving you. Life is too short for that. If better times roll around, then by all means scale up! With Obama at the helm, it is only getting worse. Ge ahead of the curve, unload it. Make family your priority and not the lifestyle and mortgage.
It's not worth it!
When did I say anything was your fault? You say YOUR LIFE and its CONSEQUENCES are NOT MY FAULT!
“OK then, why not just SHUT UP?”
If I were you, I’d be the one to “shut up”.
“Oh, and FYI, Dr. Browns the guy from the film Back to the Future who invented the time machine.”
Oh good grief! How idiotic you are ... Dr. Brown ... .
Rolling my eyes ...
The point was that an entry level home here (which we have) is over 200 grand. An apartment rent is almost as much. Jersey is probably similar I imagine, but I bet you’re a lot older than me and already have a paid for house, I don’t.
All I ask is for you to stop assuming I want you to pay for anything of mine - I don’t - so stop saying I do!
Interest rate is fine actually.
so, you think it’d be better to live in a shack, barely able to survive, have one parent a complete stranger because they’re busting their hump 60+ hours a week, not be able to afford anything extra- for the kids of course, because in your world a parent would sacrifice everything imaginable- so the kids can grow up in absolute misery, ridiculed and mocked at school for their unkempt appearance, jealous of the other kids who actually get to do things, and end up worse off than if the other parent worked?
no. in too many cases, that second income means that the time that the parents do have with their children becomes a more meaningful time. that there is money left over for setting up savings accounts for college, money for the children to be involved in activities, money for vacations, to see family. money for birthday parties, and Christmas. for piano lessons, or dance classes, or baseball, or whatever activies they choose.
Ideally, yes, a parent should be able to stay home, but it is not always possible.
but heck, if one parent stays home, why shouldn’t both? should we advocate a more amish living where both parents are around all the time? that the kids begin working around the house with their parents about as soon as they can walk? the kids would sure get more time with their parents.
also lets consider, that in the time when stay at home moms were the norm, what actually happened with the kids? i remember getting up during summer and everyday leaving the house and only coming back for lunch, then running right back out. i never saw my mom anyway, what was the point of her being home?
You’re an idiot. Try rational argument sometime. maybe then someone will talk to you like an adult.
I'm sorry. I mistook you for arrogant jerk on this thread. Immature people like that really bother me. Their pride and self absorption is maddening. It's people like that the are really irresponsible Demoncrats and they are too blind to see it. They poly parrot just what the Demoncrats advocate.
Perhaps you could check out refinancing the mortgage? . If you would like to take this offline, feel free to email me.
Perhaps we should take this offline?
Reasoning like yours is why we have high abortion rates, sex ed for grade schoolers, no fault divorce, skyrocketing national debt, etc. etc. Public policy and social trends are always being adjusted for the exception and not the common good. Sure, i could find an example where someone needs to have a total untrained and unqualified person watch their children while they earn a meager existence. But the common good would be better served if children were raised by their own parent9s) in a loving supportive environment. So public policy should be adjusted to encourage that. But there is an agenda that seeks to make everyone a producer and that means controlling the children. Watch for the new regulations for daycare and you’ll see what I mean.
Oh the Hugh. Manatee...when FReeper worlds collide. Isn’t one of the tenets of conservatism deciding what is best for ourselves and our families? Period. Outside edicts need not apply? I don’t want Michelle O telling me what to serve for lunch...nor do I want other nannies telling me where that lunch should be served...be it at home; a daycare or a public school. WE should ALL make those choices as we personally see fit for our families situation. Period.
So...IMO (as a mom of five who has stayed home and who has had to go out to work) the culprit is NOT our fellow American’s personal family choices...it is the financial grind down (Obamamonics) that limits how families can make simple choices (like paying the mortgage).
Like minded (politically) fellow conservatives ARE NOT the enemy (as in, who is the nobler parent than thou?). Geesh...
I just emailed my wife and thanked her for staying home with our kids, sent her this article, how heart breaking. I don’t know how anyone could do this to thier kids.
What a dufus, they want blog hits? Ya, people make a freakin’ ton of money off blogs, sheese, get a grip man
We know a family that raises their two kids much the same way - it is constant activities. In the spring, they had their daughter (who is 10) in traveling basketball (5-6 nights a week), archery (2 mornings a week), piano lessons (1 day a week), and volleyball, with a few basketball camps thrown in. Their son (age 13) was in track (5 days a week), wrestling, and some other activity. Now, at least one of the parents is always there to observe and cheer the son or daughter on, but it is just TOO much.
Their son is ADHD and their daughter is pretty rambunctious, too, and I’m sure that’s a big part of why they are kept so busy - one, to wear them out, and two, to keep them occupied so Mom (who is a SAHM) doesn’t have to deal. I wonder if it ever occurred to them that maybe some more one on one time might benefit their entire family???
We have a ONE activity at a time rule in our house. No exceptions and no arguments.
Damn, that must cause you to be in one heck of shame spiral?
We have parents who have lost sight that being a parent is all about the family, instead they think its all about the kids.
Parents who will sacrifice their job, to be "a good parent" to make sure they're at Johnny's basketball games. (Get real- its a stupid GAME)-Spend 2 hrs side by side fishing and talking to each other, it'll have more impact than a year in the stands yelling "go, Johnny, go", and high fiving the parent next to you and saying "thats my boy".
Teach your kids that LIFE isn't about THEM. That necessity trumps comfort and convenience. That need trumps want.
Families used to grow together in a 1200 sq ft home with 3 maybe 4 bedrooms. Now kids, instead of sharing a room, have to have THEIR OWN space.
Kids today think LIFE is ALL about THEM.
And parents are the cause.
This family is very similar, except their kids are 4 and 6! They’ve had them in expensive preschools from the earliest possible age. I don’t understand it.
wow, first i’m an idiot, and now i’m responsible for the collapse of the world as we know it.
all because i believe that having a stay at home mom is not always the best choice- based on personal experience of seeing too many crappy stay at home moms.
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