Hmmm, Guilt of parents is strong on this thread, defensive they are, much shame I sense ...
Posted on 08/12/2010 8:30:15 AM PDT by eRtwngr
My wife left her job when we had our first child and has been home for the birth and rearing of all 7. Has it been hard at times? Do we sacrifice some things? Sure. But isn't that what marriage and family are supposed to be about in the first place?
What kind of rude, self-centered drones are we thrusting on the world? Ones whose first memories are that their parents didn't love them enough to spend time raising them.
(Excerpt) Read more at ertwngr.blogspot.com ...
Isn't that a tad unfair and extreme to suggest that *I* FIND YOU a house you can more easily afford right now? I find the accusation a tad extreme that I should tell you where to live and at what price range to look. I consider that to be personal and an individual decision.
I live in over taxed, over priced New Jersey. We are unable to do the upgrade we wanted to do and I am not ashamed of that. I certainly wouldn't ask you to find me a home in New Jersey that I could more easily afford if we had a mortgage either. If that were the situation, we'd handle it privately and with dignity. I wouldn't blame you for the situation if we were in the same situation that you allude to.
What I am saying is don't be enslaved to something that is beyond your means. I know of MANY that had grand houses and simply sold them and scaled down. Good times are not the present time and they recognized that. It truly is honorable to adjust with changes that aren't pleasant.
Truly it is not worth it to be worrying about the mortgage all the time. There is no joy or happiness in that. It's not shameful to be free of a mortgage that is enslaving you. Life is too short for that. If better times roll around, then by all means scale up! With Obama at the helm, it is only getting worse. Ge ahead of the curve, unload it. Make family your priority and not the lifestyle and mortgage.
It's not worth it!
When did I say anything was your fault? You say “YOUR LIFE and it’s CONSEQUENCES are NOT MY FAULT!”
“OK then, why not just SHUT UP?”
If I were you, I’d be the one to “shut up”.
“Oh, and FYI, Dr. Brown’s the guy from the film Back to the Future who invented the time machine.”
Oh good grief! How idiotic you are ... Dr. Brown ... .
Rolling my eyes ...
The point was that an entry level home here (which we have) is over 200 grand. An apartment rent is almost as much. Jersey is probably similar I imagine, but I bet you’re a lot older than me and already have a paid for house, I don’t.
All I ask is for you to stop assuming I want you to pay for anything of mine - I don’t - so stop saying I do!
Interest rate is fine actually.
so, you think it’d be better to live in a shack, barely able to survive, have one parent a complete stranger because they’re busting their hump 60+ hours a week, not be able to afford anything extra- for the kids of course, because in your world a parent would sacrifice everything imaginable- so the kids can grow up in absolute misery, ridiculed and mocked at school for their unkempt appearance, jealous of the other kids who actually get to do things, and end up worse off than if the other parent worked?
no. in too many cases, that second income means that the time that the parents do have with their children becomes a more meaningful time. that there is money left over for setting up savings accounts for college, money for the children to be involved in activities, money for vacations, to see family. money for birthday parties, and Christmas. for piano lessons, or dance classes, or baseball, or whatever activies they choose.
Ideally, yes, a parent should be able to stay home, but it is not always possible.
but heck, if one parent stays home, why shouldn’t both? should we advocate a more amish living where both parents are around all the time? that the kids begin working around the house with their parents about as soon as they can walk? the kids would sure get more time with their parents.
also lets consider, that in the time when stay at home moms were the norm, what actually happened with the kids? i remember getting up during summer and everyday leaving the house and only coming back for lunch, then running right back out. i never saw my mom anyway, what was the point of her being home?
You’re an idiot. Try rational argument sometime. maybe then someone will talk to you like an adult.
I'm sorry. I mistook you for arrogant jerk on this thread. Immature people like that really bother me. Their pride and self absorption is maddening. It's people like that the are really irresponsible Demoncrats and they are too blind to see it. They poly parrot just what the Demoncrats advocate.
Perhaps you could check out refinancing the mortgage? . If you would like to take this offline, feel free to email me.
Perhaps we should take this offline?
Reasoning like yours is why we have high abortion rates, sex ed for grade schoolers, no fault divorce, skyrocketing national debt, etc. etc. Public policy and social trends are always being adjusted for the exception and not the common good. Sure, i could find an example where someone needs to have a total untrained and unqualified person watch their children while they earn a meager existence. But the common good would be better served if children were raised by their own parent9s) in a loving supportive environment. So public policy should be adjusted to encourage that. But there is an agenda that seeks to make everyone a producer and that means controlling the children. Watch for the new regulations for daycare and you’ll see what I mean.
Oh the Hugh. Manatee...when FReeper worlds collide. Isn’t one of the tenets of conservatism deciding what is best for ourselves and our families? Period. Outside edicts need not apply? I don’t want Michelle O telling me what to serve for lunch...nor do I want other nannies telling me where that lunch should be served...be it at home; a daycare or a public school. WE should ALL make those choices as we personally see fit for our families situation. Period.
So...IMO (as a mom of five who has stayed home and who has had to go out to work) the culprit is NOT our fellow American’s personal family choices...it is the financial grind down (Obamamonics) that limits how families can make simple choices (like paying the mortgage).
Like minded (politically) fellow conservatives ARE NOT the enemy (as in, who is the nobler parent than thou?). Geesh...
I just emailed my wife and thanked her for staying home with our kids, sent her this article, how heart breaking. I don’t know how anyone could do this to thier kids.
What a dufus, they want blog hits? Ya, people make a freakin’ ton of money off blogs, sheese, get a grip man
We know a family that raises their two kids much the same way - it is constant activities. In the spring, they had their daughter (who is 10) in traveling basketball (5-6 nights a week), archery (2 mornings a week), piano lessons (1 day a week), and volleyball, with a few basketball camps thrown in. Their son (age 13) was in track (5 days a week), wrestling, and some other activity. Now, at least one of the parents is always there to observe and cheer the son or daughter on, but it is just TOO much.
Their son is ADHD and their daughter is pretty rambunctious, too, and I’m sure that’s a big part of why they are kept so busy - one, to wear them out, and two, to keep them occupied so Mom (who is a SAHM) doesn’t have to deal. I wonder if it ever occurred to them that maybe some more one on one time might benefit their entire family???
We have a ONE activity at a time rule in our house. No exceptions and no arguments.
Damn, that must cause you to be in one heck of shame spiral?
We have parents who have lost sight that being a parent is all about the family, instead they think its all about the kids.
Parents who will sacrifice their job, to be "a good parent" to make sure they're at Johnny's basketball games. (Get real- its a stupid GAME)-Spend 2 hrs side by side fishing and talking to each other, it'll have more impact than a year in the stands yelling "go, Johnny, go", and high fiving the parent next to you and saying "thats my boy".
Teach your kids that LIFE isn't about THEM. That necessity trumps comfort and convenience. That need trumps want.
Families used to grow together in a 1200 sq ft home with 3 maybe 4 bedrooms. Now kids, instead of sharing a room, have to have THEIR OWN space.
Kids today think LIFE is ALL about THEM.
And parents are the cause.
This family is very similar, except their kids are 4 and 6! They’ve had them in expensive preschools from the earliest possible age. I don’t understand it.
wow, first i’m an idiot, and now i’m responsible for the collapse of the world as we know it.
all because i believe that having a stay at home mom is not always the best choice- based on personal experience of seeing too many crappy stay at home moms.
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