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DUmmie FUnnies 05-15-11 (DUmmie whines: "I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See.")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 15, 2011 | DUmmie ChoppinBroccoli, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 05/15/2011 7:59:40 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

It's the Daze of Whine and Poses at DUmmieland. But then, I repeat myself. For DUmmies are nothing if not a bunch of whiney liberals. Case in point: DUmmie ChoppinBroccoli, who is upset because he might have to do something on his own to take care of his parental responsibiliities, rather than have the goverment do it for him. You see, the taxpayers in his district chose not to pass an additional levy, so now ChoppinBroccoli, poor baby, might actually have to transport his own kid to all-day kindergarten, rather than having a school bus do it for him. WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

ChoppinBroccoli blames the EEEE-vil rich for this, of course, those greedy misers who won't pay an extra $15 so his kid can take a bus. ChoppinBroccoli is so mad, he posted this THREAD, "I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See."

Now the kicker is, ChoppinBroccoli is a LAWYER, and he lives in a nice SUBURB, so it's not like he's some poor shlub like bobbolink, living in the back of a Buick. If he doesn't have any friends or family willing to help, he could well afford to take care of some other arrangement for his child's transportation. But he's a Democrat, so he expects other people to pay his bills and do everything for him.

So let us hop on the short bus and get dropped off at DUmmieland, where the comments are in Read-Whine Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who somehow manages to get his daughter to school without a bus, is in the [brackets]:

I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See

[That's some violent rhetoric there, ChoppinBroccoli. Are you a Broccoli stalker?]

Just a little background information first. My oldest son turned 5 this month and is going to be starting Kindergarten in the fall. In the school district where we live, there are several elementary schools, but only one of them has all day, every day Kindergarten. . . .

[Choppin looked, but he couldn't find a 24/7 kindergarten.]

Well, last week, we found out that our son got into the all day Kindergarten program, so we were pretty excited about that.

[WHEEEEEE!!!]

Between my wife and I, our work schedules would have taken a serious hit trying to accommodate pick-ups and drop-offs for just a half-day Kindergarten program, and we were stressing out over how we would get that to work. . . .

[WAAAAAAH!!!]

because the recent school levy (voted on last week) was defeated, the school district was cutting out all transportation services (aka busing). Translation: I'm going to have to drive my child to school every day in the Fall.

[NO! SHOCKING!! UNHEARD OF!!! How could they be so CRUEL????]

but the doors to the elementary school don't open until 9:05 a.m.

[UN-BE-LIEEEEEEEEEEV-ABLE!!]

Guess what time I normally need to be in Court on the days I have Court.

[Mm, 9:05 a.m.?]

And since EVERY PARENT with a child in that school will ALSO be driving his/her child to school that day, what do you think the chances are that I'll be able to drive up to the door, drop him off, give him a quick good-bye, and then get immediately back on the road, given the line of cars trying to do the same thing?

[WOW! The prisoners on the Gulag Archipelago didn't have it this hard!]

Here's what irks me about this whole thing. We live in a fairly well-to-do suburb of Columbus. . . . In the run-up to the vote on the school levy issue, there was a very visible and well-funded "Vote No on Issue 7" campaign waged. . . . And nothing would upset me more than to drive home through the "rich neighborhood" and see these HUGE houses with "Vote No on 7" signs in their front yards.

[D*mn democracy! Who do those voters think they are??]

Yeah, I'm sure that extra fifteen bucks you're going to have to pay in taxes to support your local schools is going to REALLY break your bank, @ssholes.

[Mr. Lawyer ChoppinBroccoli, who lives in this well-to-do suburb, fails to see the irony in his not wanting to spend $15 of his own to pitch in on carpooling.]

So I said . . . only HALF-facetiously, that every time I have a scheduling conflict that makes it difficult to drop my son off at school at 9:05 in the morning, I'm going to drive him up to the door of one of these houses with the "Vote No on 7" signs in the yard and tell them, "Here. YOU drive him to school today. Hope you choke on your 15 bucks, @sshole."

[ChoppinBroccoli is only $15 away from having No Child Left Behind.]

I'm getting so d*mn sick of living in "all taxes are evil" land.

[You tell, 'em, Choppin! DOWN with democracy! DOWN with voting! UP with taxes! Get a BUS, for Gaia's sake, and come get this kid off my hands!]

[Now to the other DUmmies . . .]

End corporate fascism in this country. It is dangerous!

[Whatever the problem--no money for school buses, jobs being outsourced, lint--the cause is always the same: corporatist facist pigs.]

An ounce of money for good schools is worth a pound of money for prisons.

[If somebody doesn't come up with that 15 bucks to get Choppin's boy on a bus, HE'LL END UP DOING HARD TIME! Come ON, people!!]

We really need all adults in this country to go through a remedial educational program to understand the whole point of taxes and of collective action.

[Load 'em on a bus and send 'em off to Reeducation Camp!]

As it is now, the Stupid is phenomenal.

[The Stupid is strong with this one.]

when you have so much and you don't want to share a simple $15 bucks more in taxes to help our future - our children - do better so they can compete with children around the world, that's taking greed to a whole new low. And, sadly, this new phenomenon is very much exclusively an American affliction.

[MOVE THAT BUS!]

I think we have a sociopathic country, perhaps a term is sociopathic capitalism.

[I thought the term was corporate fascism.]

Just ask them if they would prefer educated tax paying people or criminals breaking into their houses.

[Save JuniorBroccoli from a life of crime! Only $15! My G*D, people!]

That's a pretty healthy whine you typed up. It's called life. Deal with it.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

you have a practical issue to deal with and i suggest trying to find a parent in your neighborhood who needs a few extra bucks and would be willing to care for your child during those hours when you must be at work.

[Wow, what a concept! Coming up with a non-government solution!]

Do you want your child in "all day every day Kindergarten" so he will advance educationally? Or, is it more beneficial as a sort of "all day every day" day care....so you and your wife can pursue your professional interests?

[Careful, you're getting a little too close to home. . . . ChoppinBroccoli responds . . .]

My oldest son is very advanced for his age, and he's been in a daycare that has given him an education (as opposed to just watching him and playing with him while we work) for the last 5 years.

[Translation: We dumped him off as soon as he was born.]

Can't say I blame the voters for shooting down the levy if a significant portion of it was to pay for transportation of children to a magnet school because parents want the luxury of more school hours to accommodate their work schedules. Sounds like you'll have to do what about 99% of all other working parents do - either hire someone to watch your children before and after school or put them in private kindergarten.

[OK, ChoppinBroccoli won the Whiney Liberal Award, but YOU, DUmmie lynne, you win today's Kewpie Doll for your Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®! Go to the head of the class! . . . Back to Choppin for summing up . . .]

All 3 of my kids have been in daycare since they were born. The younger 2 still are, and will continue to be. Our oldest is going to school NOT to have somebody to watch him while we work, but because we actually want our kids to go to school. I thought every parent wanted education for their child, but apparently I was wrong.

[Some parents actually want to form a bond with their children, instead of shipping them off to strangers, but hey, that's me.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
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MOVE THAT BUS! WE'RE ONLY $15 AWAY!
1 posted on 05/15/2011 7:59:44 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: Charles Henrickson

Here is a cheek, go for it.


2 posted on 05/15/2011 8:01:26 PM PDT by mnehring
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

PING!


3 posted on 05/15/2011 8:02:43 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Daze of Whine and Poses.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
"I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See."

Sounds like he plans to work for the TSA, to which I reply:

"Don't Touch My Junk!"

Cheers!

4 posted on 05/15/2011 8:07:41 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Nothin’s gonna break up the Broc’s style... not even having a kid to take care of.


5 posted on 05/15/2011 8:12:30 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Hawk)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top ten


6 posted on 05/15/2011 8:16:12 PM PDT by Mercat (BHO, Ditherer in Chief)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Somebody tell this maroon that it's not just “Teabaggers” who are sick and tired of being taxed into the stone age. Even the sheeple are starting to notice what years of incremental increases was supposed to hide.
7 posted on 05/15/2011 8:16:47 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: Charles Henrickson

“I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See.”

Oh PLEASE come smack me...pretty please; Just come on and make MY day.


8 posted on 05/15/2011 8:17:56 PM PDT by lgjhn23
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To: HiTech RedNeck
To some people children are just accessories.

He makes me sick.

9 posted on 05/15/2011 8:19:19 PM PDT by Spudx7
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To: Charles Henrickson
Wow! Choppins’ trolley has gone off the rails. The country is screwed, people are really hurting, and this asswipe doesn't even consider his many available options. Maybe his kid should be in court and he should be in kindergarten. Pathetic.
10 posted on 05/15/2011 8:22:42 PM PDT by JPG (Zawahiri, you're next.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I can see that our prime duty in life is to make Mr. & Ms. ChoppinBroccoli’s lives much easier to better facilitate the non-relationship between them and their son (who is still a little guy).

“We’ll have a good time then, dad,” somehow comes to mind.


11 posted on 05/15/2011 8:23:53 PM PDT by Lauren BaRecall (Boehner, you B@st@rd!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
YOU, DUmmie lynne, you win today's Kewpie Doll for your Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®! Go to the head of the class! . . .


Voila! Done! ;)

12 posted on 05/15/2011 8:24:45 PM PDT by LUV W (GOP? You need to fight like a GIRL!!~~Sarah Palin)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See

Doesn't that make this maggot a "homophobe"? I mean, we all know what the commie libs are implying when they refer to Americans as "teabaggers".

13 posted on 05/15/2011 8:26:26 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer ("...that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,..")
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To: Charles Henrickson

Huh? They don’t like homosexuals, who would have thought that.


14 posted on 05/15/2011 8:28:02 PM PDT by svcw (Non forgiveness is like holding a hot coal thinking the other person will be blistered)
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To: Charles Henrickson

For those who want so smack a teabagger, I suggest the go after Anderson Cooper or Bawney Fwank...


15 posted on 05/15/2011 8:30:34 PM PDT by bigbob
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To: Charles Henrickson

Oh good grief.

This one is quite stupid. If the bitch wants 8 weeks in basic military training she might STFU afterwards.


16 posted on 05/15/2011 8:30:55 PM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west)?)
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To: Charles Henrickson

these morons thinks it’s 15 bucks...but it’s ANOTHER 15 of MY bucks.


17 posted on 05/15/2011 8:31:30 PM PDT by stylin19a
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To: Charles Henrickson
Just ask them if they would prefer educated tax paying people or criminals breaking into their houses.

I prefer criminals breaking into my house. I'd hate to have to shoot an educated taxpayer.

18 posted on 05/15/2011 8:33:32 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer ("...that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,..")
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To: LUV W

I applaud lynne’s calling out this sperm donor!


19 posted on 05/15/2011 8:33:39 PM PDT by Lauren BaRecall (Boehner, you B@st@rd!)
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To: Lauren BaRecall; Charles Henrickson

It’s a wonder she wasn’t tombstoned. They don’t take to
constructive criticism over there in the DUmp! :)


20 posted on 05/15/2011 8:37:32 PM PDT by LUV W (GOP? You need to fight like a GIRL!!~~Sarah Palin)
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To: Charles Henrickson
All 3 of my kids have been in daycare since they were born.

Sad.

21 posted on 05/15/2011 8:42:53 PM PDT by Ultra Sonic 007 (To view the FR@Alabama ping list, click on my profile!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
This schmuck's bitching about not having a babysitter all day. I feel sorry for the kids.

As far as smacking teabaggers go, there's a whole bunch of them at DNC headquaters.

22 posted on 05/15/2011 8:45:22 PM PDT by Darren McCarty (I am not lead by any politician. I am my own leader.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
So I said . . . only HALF-facetiously, that every time I have a scheduling conflict that makes it difficult to drop my son off at school at 9:05 in the morning, I'm going to drive him up to the door of one of these houses with the "Vote No on 7" signs in the yard and tell them, "Here. YOU drive him to school today. Hope you choke on your 15 bucks, @sshole."

Oh brother. Is this a typical Liberal Democrat or what?

At least ONE of the DUmmies was getting the idea that maybe the cheap bastard could pay somebody to watch his kid and get him to school while Daddy and Mommy were at work doing something they considered to be more useful than taking care of their crumb cruncher.

That is at least until he turns 6 and can walk the miles to school himself. Mom and Dad will be so proud that day!

23 posted on 05/15/2011 8:50:53 PM PDT by VeniVidiVici (The last Democrat worth a damn was Stalin. He purged his whole Party.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Unbelievable! A well-off lawyer posting such drivel at the DUmp? Really?? I was a bit heartened by some of the responses to him, though they may be LFTs.

Brilliant, as usual, Charles.


24 posted on 05/15/2011 8:51:40 PM PDT by Irishgirl
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To: Charles Henrickson

but the doors to the elementary school don’t open until 9:05 a.m.

My Kid’s prep school pre-care opens at 7 Am and I don’t make lawyer money.


25 posted on 05/15/2011 9:00:36 PM PDT by omega4179 (enhanced interrogation of Dems)
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To: Charles Henrickson
School districts do drive me crazy, though, when they say “if you vote no we'll cut busing, sports, Kindergarten and everything fun and interesting your kids would do in the school day”. But we will keep “the teachers 5% per year pay increase, renovating the teachers lounge, and all the teachers that would have taught the cut Kindergarten classes”. It makes no since. One year our district said “ if you vote no, we'll go to an austerity budget and have no sports or transportation, your taxes will go up 2.35 percent. Vote yes and we'll have these things and tour taxes will only go up 2.2%” It made no since, until you realized they were basing both assumptions on different figures— if we had Kindergarten, they'd get more state aid, for instance. We were still paying for it. My kids also play sports. But voting no became the protest vote, although here it changes nothing. Ah, life in NY state—damned if you do damned if you don't.
26 posted on 05/15/2011 9:01:30 PM PDT by MacMattico
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To: All

You know ...this teabagger slam is actually starting to make me laugh at all the SALAD TOSSERs using the term...


27 posted on 05/15/2011 9:15:50 PM PDT by uncle fenders
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To: Charles Henrickson
I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See
Dear Mr. ChoppinBroccoli,
I really do hope you slap a Teabagger given what the slur implies and given the body's typical reaction to being slapped.
And please be sure to change your screen name to reflect your new physiological status. I suggest ChompedOffMyBrocolli or StumpyBrocolli as Mr. Bobbitt is already taken.
Sincerely,
philman_36
28 posted on 05/15/2011 9:18:54 PM PDT by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty, and supped with infamy. Benjamin Franklin)
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To: Ultra Sonic 007

YES SAD...SO SAD...READ MY PROFILE AND HE CAN CHOKE ON HIS BROCCOLI


29 posted on 05/15/2011 9:19:26 PM PDT by merryberry (Take care of ya own kids or dont have them)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Another “children for a fashion statement” liberal.

Don’t have kids if they are such a burden to the idiot.


30 posted on 05/15/2011 9:21:40 PM PDT by headstamp 2 (We live two lives, the life we learn and the life we live with after that.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The pathetic part is that it is never jsut $15.Mostr like an extra $15 on top of what they already pay for every $100K the home is worth.Seeing that most households now days do not have children under 18 in them most school levies are likely to go down to defeat especailly those for things like this.


31 posted on 05/15/2011 9:24:26 PM PDT by chris_bdba
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To: Charles Henrickson

The guy has 3 kids and hasn’t spent a freaking day with them for 5 years.

Not something I would want to broadcast to the nation via the internet.

Somebody should smack him or his wife.

sheesh!


32 posted on 05/15/2011 9:34:41 PM PDT by hattend (Obama is better than OJ... He found a killer while on the golf course.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’m lower middle class and I can’t afford the property taxes much longer to pay for the school system, and too many other people are like me, all raising taxes would do is drive us out of our homes faster.


33 posted on 05/15/2011 9:38:29 PM PDT by Ballygrl
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To: Charles Henrickson

Pathetic

Makes me want to smack every Lawyer I see!


34 posted on 05/15/2011 9:47:10 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open ( <o> ---)
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To: Charles Henrickson

You know you’re really in bad shape when the DUmmies won’t rally to your side for a tax increase to make your life easier. Even though they were devout leftists the Dead Kennedys had this douchebag nailed when they titled one of their albums “Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death”.


35 posted on 05/15/2011 10:12:43 PM PDT by wrcase
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To: Charles Henrickson

Good evening Charles. Thank you for this one. This is more proof that Libs shouldn’t reproduce. When my two boys were young, my wife and I decided that the best thing for us to do was have her stay home with our children. She quit her job, we sold all of the stuff that was sucking up our cash, and built a secure environment for the daily lives of the kids. Looking back almost 30 years, this was the best decision we ever made.


36 posted on 05/15/2011 10:13:53 PM PDT by wjcsux ("In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." - George Orwell)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I like how by using an inflammatory title about wanting to do violence to “teabaggers”, most of the DUmmies mindlessly agree, without really considering what the guy is saying: I’m a fairly well-to-do Yuppie lawyer with a two income household and I’m angry that my wife and I are slightly inconvenienced by having to alter our busy schedules and find a way to bring our kids to school ourselves. Normally, they would attack anyone whining about a “rich white guy problem” like this.


37 posted on 05/15/2011 10:39:37 PM PDT by Welsh Rabbit
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To: Charles Henrickson

His username reminded me of Mocha’s video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0E-0ntoNWo


38 posted on 05/15/2011 11:28:07 PM PDT by nolongerademocrat ("Before you ask G-d for something, first thank G-d for what you already have." B'rachot 30b)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Translation: I'm going to have to drive my child to school every day in the Fall. but the doors to the elementary school don't open until 9:05 a.m. Guess what time I normally need to be in Court on the days I have Court. And since EVERY PARENT with a child in that school will ALSO be driving his/her child to school that day, what do you think the chances are that I'll be able to drive up to the door, drop him off, give him a quick good-bye, and then get immediately back on the road, given the line of cars trying to do the same thing?

Dang! I misplaced my tiny violin! Otherwise I'd be able to play a sad little solo for Choppie.

39 posted on 05/15/2011 11:36:07 PM PDT by Rainbow Rising (Stop the change, I want to get off!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Woohoo, a few sensible comments towards the end.

Children aren’t pets. If people don’t want to rear them they should not have them.


40 posted on 05/15/2011 11:51:30 PM PDT by Persevero (We don't need Superman -- we have the Special Forces)
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To: stylin19a

“these morons thinks it’s 15 bucks...but it’s ANOTHER 15 of MY bucks.”

it’s 15 bucks that will go into a slush fund and never benefit one child.

Just like the other $15,000 per year they get to “educate” these children.


41 posted on 05/15/2011 11:52:59 PM PDT by Persevero (We don't need Superman -- we have the Special Forces)
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To: Charles Henrickson
What I want to do to a DU lawyer would make Heinrich Himmler blow his lunch, and keep him awake for weeks, because every time he closes his eyes, it would be seared, seared I tell you, onto his retinas.

I just love it when one of these bugs think that the Law is some kind of steady state entropic construct, that has never failed, and will ALWAYS stand between him and insensate evil.

Here is a Hot Flash: He'd better learn how to shoot. He tries to "smack me" and I'll kneecap the pudknocker, and I can do it out to 800 on a calm day...

One other thing. Keep calling us 'teabaggers.' It really loads the scale when it comes time to decide whether to throw him into the Fire.

42 posted on 05/16/2011 12:38:17 AM PDT by jonascord (The Drug War Rapes the Constitution.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Well, I get up at 4:30am, pack lunches, and leave for work by 5:30am so I can pick my kids up from school at 3:30pm. Hubby drops them off, at the private school we pay tuition for, that has zero transportation.

It’s in the kiddos best interest, not mine, I would love to sleep in until 7am or so.

It’s makes me wonder why this whiner had children at all...


43 posted on 05/16/2011 2:25:23 AM PDT by mom4melody
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To: Charles Henrickson
"I want to smack every teabagger I see."

Sung to the tune of Garrett Morris' SNL song "I'm gonna get me a gun and kill all the whities I see"

44 posted on 05/16/2011 3:07:47 AM PDT by 3catsanadog (If healthcare reform is passed, 41 years old will be the new 65 YO.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

That’s cool...I want to neuter and spay every leftist I see...


45 posted on 05/16/2011 3:10:24 AM PDT by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
My oldest son is very advanced for his age...

Aren't they all..? /rolls eyes

46 posted on 05/16/2011 3:12:09 AM PDT by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
If the School District would eliminate just 5 relatives from their do nothing, show up once in while, high salary jobs there would be enough money to keep the buses running AND give the drivers a raise.
47 posted on 05/16/2011 3:46:42 AM PDT by woofer
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To: Ultra Sonic 007
The less time a dummie is with a kid, the better for the kid.

Actually, the dummies' kids would be better off in daycare before they are born. Much safer than being in a leftist womb.

48 posted on 05/16/2011 4:17:57 AM PDT by NYpeanut (Palin/Anybody 2012)
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To: who knows what evil?
Every child in America is gifted, even the ones that can't read or write at 18.

Just once I'd like to hear a teacher tell a parent:

"Egbert is doing poorly in class because he's dumber than a sack of hair."

49 posted on 05/16/2011 4:19:16 AM PDT by joeystoy
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Comment #50 Removed by Moderator


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