DUmmie FUnnies 05-15-11 (DUmmie whines: "I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See.")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 15, 2011 | DUmmie ChoppinBroccoli, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

[Charles Henrickson]

It's the Daze of Whine and Poses at DUmmieland. But then, I repeat myself. For DUmmies are nothing if not a bunch of whiney liberals. Case in point: DUmmie ChoppinBroccoli, who is upset because he might have to do something on his own to take care of his parental responsibiliities, rather than have the goverment do it for him. You see, the taxpayers in his district chose not to pass an additional levy, so now ChoppinBroccoli, poor baby, might actually have to transport his own kid to all-day kindergarten, rather than having a school bus do it for him. WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

ChoppinBroccoli blames the EEEE-vil rich for this, of course, those greedy misers who won't pay an extra $15 so his kid can take a bus. ChoppinBroccoli is so mad, he posted this THREAD, "I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See."

Now the kicker is, ChoppinBroccoli is a LAWYER, and he lives in a nice SUBURB, so it's not like he's some poor shlub like bobbolink, living in the back of a Buick. If he doesn't have any friends or family willing to help, he could well afford to take care of some other arrangement for his child's transportation. But he's a Democrat, so he expects other people to pay his bills and do everything for him.

So let us hop on the short bus and get dropped off at DUmmieland, where the comments are in Read-Whine Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who somehow manages to get his daughter to school without a bus, is in the [brackets]:

I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See

[That's some violent rhetoric there, ChoppinBroccoli. Are you a Broccoli stalker?]

Just a little background information first. My oldest son turned 5 this month and is going to be starting Kindergarten in the fall. In the school district where we live, there are several elementary schools, but only one of them has all day, every day Kindergarten. . . .

[Choppin looked, but he couldn't find a 24/7 kindergarten.]

Well, last week, we found out that our son got into the all day Kindergarten program, so we were pretty excited about that.

[WHEEEEEE!!!]

Between my wife and I, our work schedules would have taken a serious hit trying to accommodate pick-ups and drop-offs for just a half-day Kindergarten program, and we were stressing out over how we would get that to work. . . .

[WAAAAAAH!!!]

because the recent school levy (voted on last week) was defeated, the school district was cutting out all transportation services (aka busing). Translation: I'm going to have to drive my child to school every day in the Fall.

[NO! SHOCKING!! UNHEARD OF!!! How could they be so CRUEL????]

but the doors to the elementary school don't open until 9:05 a.m.

[UN-BE-LIEEEEEEEEEEV-ABLE!!]

Guess what time I normally need to be in Court on the days I have Court.

[Mm, 9:05 a.m.?]

And since EVERY PARENT with a child in that school will ALSO be driving his/her child to school that day, what do you think the chances are that I'll be able to drive up to the door, drop him off, give him a quick good-bye, and then get immediately back on the road, given the line of cars trying to do the same thing?

[WOW! The prisoners on the Gulag Archipelago didn't have it this hard!]

Here's what irks me about this whole thing. We live in a fairly well-to-do suburb of Columbus. . . . In the run-up to the vote on the school levy issue, there was a very visible and well-funded "Vote No on Issue 7" campaign waged. . . . And nothing would upset me more than to drive home through the "rich neighborhood" and see these HUGE houses with "Vote No on 7" signs in their front yards.

[D*mn democracy! Who do those voters think they are??]

Yeah, I'm sure that extra fifteen bucks you're going to have to pay in taxes to support your local schools is going to REALLY break your bank, @ssholes.

[Mr. Lawyer ChoppinBroccoli, who lives in this well-to-do suburb, fails to see the irony in his not wanting to spend $15 of his own to pitch in on carpooling.]

So I said . . . only HALF-facetiously, that every time I have a scheduling conflict that makes it difficult to drop my son off at school at 9:05 in the morning, I'm going to drive him up to the door of one of these houses with the "Vote No on 7" signs in the yard and tell them, "Here. YOU drive him to school today. Hope you choke on your 15 bucks, @sshole."

[ChoppinBroccoli is only $15 away from having No Child Left Behind.]

I'm getting so d*mn sick of living in "all taxes are evil" land.

[You tell, 'em, Choppin! DOWN with democracy! DOWN with voting! UP with taxes! Get a BUS, for Gaia's sake, and come get this kid off my hands!]

[Now to the other DUmmies . . .]

End corporate fascism in this country. It is dangerous!

[Whatever the problem--no money for school buses, jobs being outsourced, lint--the cause is always the same: corporatist facist pigs.]

An ounce of money for good schools is worth a pound of money for prisons.

[If somebody doesn't come up with that 15 bucks to get Choppin's boy on a bus, HE'LL END UP DOING HARD TIME! Come ON, people!!]

We really need all adults in this country to go through a remedial educational program to understand the whole point of taxes and of collective action.

[Load 'em on a bus and send 'em off to Reeducation Camp!]

As it is now, the Stupid is phenomenal.

[The Stupid is strong with this one.]

when you have so much and you don't want to share a simple $15 bucks more in taxes to help our future - our children - do better so they can compete with children around the world, that's taking greed to a whole new low. And, sadly, this new phenomenon is very much exclusively an American affliction.

[MOVE THAT BUS!]

I think we have a sociopathic country, perhaps a term is sociopathic capitalism.

[I thought the term was corporate fascism.]

Just ask them if they would prefer educated tax paying people or criminals breaking into their houses.

[Save JuniorBroccoli from a life of crime! Only $15! My G*D, people!]

That's a pretty healthy whine you typed up. It's called life. Deal with it.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

you have a practical issue to deal with and i suggest trying to find a parent in your neighborhood who needs a few extra bucks and would be willing to care for your child during those hours when you must be at work.

[Wow, what a concept! Coming up with a non-government solution!]

Do you want your child in "all day every day Kindergarten" so he will advance educationally? Or, is it more beneficial as a sort of "all day every day" day care....so you and your wife can pursue your professional interests?

[Careful, you're getting a little too close to home. . . . ChoppinBroccoli responds . . .]

My oldest son is very advanced for his age, and he's been in a daycare that has given him an education (as opposed to just watching him and playing with him while we work) for the last 5 years.

[Translation: We dumped him off as soon as he was born.]

Can't say I blame the voters for shooting down the levy if a significant portion of it was to pay for transportation of children to a magnet school because parents want the luxury of more school hours to accommodate their work schedules. Sounds like you'll have to do what about 99% of all other working parents do - either hire someone to watch your children before and after school or put them in private kindergarten.

[OK, ChoppinBroccoli won the Whiney Liberal Award, but YOU, DUmmie lynne, you win today's Kewpie Doll for your Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®! Go to the head of the class! . . . Back to Choppin for summing up . . .]

All 3 of my kids have been in daycare since they were born. The younger 2 still are, and will continue to be. Our oldest is going to school NOT to have somebody to watch him while we work, but because we actually want our kids to go to school. I thought every parent wanted education for their child, but apparently I was wrong.

[Some parents actually want to form a bond with their children, instead of shipping them off to strangers, but hey, that's me.]

[Persevero]

“these morons thinks it’s 15 bucks...but it’s ANOTHER 15 of MY bucks.”

it’s 15 bucks that will go into a slush fund and never benefit one child.

Just like the other $15,000 per year they get to “educate” these children.

[jonascord]

What I want to do to a DU lawyer would make Heinrich Himmler blow his lunch, and keep him awake for weeks, because every time he closes his eyes, it would be seared, seared I tell you, onto his retinas.

I just love it when one of these bugs think that the Law is some kind of steady state entropic construct, that has never failed, and will ALWAYS stand between him and insensate evil.

Here is a Hot Flash: He'd better learn how to shoot. He tries to "smack me" and I'll kneecap the pudknocker, and I can do it out to 800 on a calm day...

One other thing. Keep calling us 'teabaggers.' It really loads the scale when it comes time to decide whether to throw him into the Fire.

[mom4melody]

Well, I get up at 4:30am, pack lunches, and leave for work by 5:30am so I can pick my kids up from school at 3:30pm. Hubby drops them off, at the private school we pay tuition for, that has zero transportation.

It’s in the kiddos best interest, not mine, I would love to sleep in until 7am or so.

It’s makes me wonder why this whiner had children at all...

[3catsanadog]

"I want to smack every teabagger I see."

Sung to the tune of Garrett Morris' SNL song "I'm gonna get me a gun and kill all the whities I see"

[who knows what evil?]

That’s cool...I want to neuter and spay every leftist I see...

[who knows what evil?]

My oldest son is very advanced for his age...

Aren't they all..? /rolls eyes

[woofer]

If the School District would eliminate just 5 relatives from their do nothing, show up once in while, high salary jobs there would be enough money to keep the buses running AND give the drivers a raise.

[NYpeanut]

The less time a dummie is with a kid, the better for the kid.

Actually, the dummies' kids would be better off in daycare before they are born. Much safer than being in a leftist womb.

[joeystoy]

Every child in America is gifted, even the ones that can't read or write at 18.

Just once I'd like to hear a teacher tell a parent:

"Egbert is doing poorly in class because he's dumber than a sack of hair."

[who knows what evil?]

"Egbert is doing poorly in class because he's dumber than a sack of hair."

Amen! LOL!

[Caipirabob]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-15-11 (DUmmie whines: "I Want To Smack Every Teabagger I See.")

Fortunately for the little pussy, "want" isn't the same thing as actually having your head blown off.

[who knows what evil?]

"Egbert is doing poorly in class because he's dumber than a sack of hair."

Amen! LOL!

[bmwcyle]

Here is a cheek, go for it, ditto.

[Ladysmith]

Dittos that. The public unions in Wisconsin are losing the PR battle here in Wisconsin. When taxpayers learn how much is going to bennies and retirement funds, and NOT to “the children”, it doesn’t take much for the bozos protesting in Madison to prove they’re nothing more than union thugs.

[Condor51]

I'm missing something that DUmmie Lawyer is or isn't saying. (Granted I didn't have my full dose of caffeine yet.)

1. He and the Mrs got his oldest child into "Full Day Kindergarten".
2. Both he and his wife work "Full Time".
3. And now, thanks to 'cheap taxpayers' there's no Bus service.
4. Ergo (lawyer talk) this nice, compassionate, demoncRAT couple have 'a problem' getting Jr (and likely future serial killer) to School.

However, what about these facts already entered into evidence, to wit (that's more lawyer talk):

1. The 'parents' would still have to leave for work long before Jr had to go to school.
   Therefore........
   
2. Even with Bus Service who would have dressed Jr in the morning?
3. Who would have made sure he got on the Bus okay?
   
4. Who would have met Jr at the Bus after School?
   
5. Who would have let Jr in the House?
   And finally....
6. Who would have watched Jr until lawyer daddy and 'professional mommy' got home from work?

Therefore yer Honor, I believe we've proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that daddy the lawyer, and his loving wife, are unmitigated, conceited a$$h*les! As such, we believe that all their children should be removed from their custody asap and put into foster homes. Because yer Honor, right now they are treated like Pets and if they remain under 'the care' of these two Jerks, they will grow up to be anti-social psychotic Serial Killers who target normal families.

Thank you. The prosecution rests.

[Arrowhead1952]

That's a pretty healthy whine you typed up. It's called life. Deal with it.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

LOL, Note to DUmmies, stop having kids so you don't have to worry about schools and FUture DUmmies.

[jla]

Between my wife and I, our work schedules would have taken a serious hit trying to accommodate pick-ups and drop-offs for just a half-day Kindergarten program...

Realizing what this couple's priorities are one feels sorry for their child.

[beckysueb]

I feel terribly sorry for the children involved here. Kids are smart. They know they are not wanted. How sad.

[mikrofon]

when you have so much and you don't want to take care of your own kid's transportation to help our future - our children - do better so they can compete with children around the world, that's taking greed to a whole new low. And, sadly, this age-old phenomenon is very much an American Liberal affliction.