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DUmmie FUnnies 05-27-11 (DUmmie whines: "I hate where our country is right now.")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 27, 2011 | DUmmie kentuck, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 05/27/2011 10:05:23 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

WAAAAAAAAAHH!!! The Daze of Whine and Poses never end at DUmmieland. Today's contribution? This THREAD by DUmmie kentuck, "I hate where our country is right now."

So let us go to the land where we cannot question their patriotism, i.e., DUmmieland, where the comments are in Read-Whine Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--who finally found some Flor de Caña rum here in St. Louis, PJ-Comix, and I put some on my vanilla ice cream--is in the [brackets]:

I hate where our country is right now.

[But, but, I thought Obamassiah was going to usher in the Age of Rainbows and Sparkles? Wha' hoppen?]

I used to believe we were a free country.

[I used to BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!]

I used to believe that we were better than those countries that would torture other people.

[Don't worry, the torture's over. Oprah has retired.]

I used to believe that we could trust our elected officials and our President to protect our freedoms.

[Blah, blah, blah. . . .]

I used to believe we were a brave country, not a country of cowards.

[I am used to seeing the DUmmies do these "hyper-parallel constructionism" OPs time after time after time. . .]

I used to believe that someone would always come forward and speak the truth . . .

[TO POWER!]

and lead us to the light.

[Hey, what about the Lightworker? I thought he was going to fix everything. Unicorns farting rainbows and sparkles, you know.]

I never expected our country to go insane.

[NOBODY expects our country to go insane! Our chief weapon is surprise. . . .]

I never expected our citizens to defend big banks and corporations. . . .

[OK, now I see you're going to go into a "I never expected" hyper-parallel construction. Wake me when it's over.]

I never thought. . . .

[Ooh, variety!]

I used to believe. . . .

[Now we're back to "I used to believe."]

I used to think we were a compassionate country that would take care of those in need and hungry.

[Yes, it was called family, friends, church, community, private charity. . . .]

I used to think. . . .

[I find that hard to believe.]

I used to believe in our Constitution. . . .

[Then you became a liberal and forgot about that whole "limited government" business.]

Now, sadly, I see a country that I am ashamed to call my own.

[Canada beckons.]

Call me un-American or whatever you wish.

["Un-American" will do.]

I apologize if this might offend you.

[Is that you, Ed Schultz?]

[Now we go to the other DUmmies, responding to kentuck's "I hate where our country is right now." . . .]

Last I checked, it was in the same spot it was a few years ago, but Japan has shifted by a few feet.

[The better to send their radiation into our cows' milk!]

The only citizens I know that defend big banks of corporations are the tea baggers. . . . The great majority of the country would love to see bankers in chains. . . .

[benburch qualifies on both scores--teabagger, and loves to see guys in chains.]

I know a lot of people who consider themselves on the left who defend corporations all the time. Of course, most of them work for corporations.

[I don't believe it! The part about lefties working, I mean.]

Want to see this country's position flipped by 180 degrees?...wait 12 hours.

what's going to happen in 12 hours?

The earth will have rotated....180 degrees!

[Rimshot!]

I didn't have time to read beyond the thread title, but I would like to encourage you to be patient. . . .

[Irony much?]

When you watched the moon landing You saw the apex of American achievement. It's all been downhill from then.

[One small stop for apex. One giant slip for moonbats.]

I feel like I live in a bubble.

[I feel like you live in a basement.]

Ohio is turning into a right-wing nightmare state.

[Cue the Crying DUmmie!]

it's only gonna get worse too. Guaranteed. its the second law of thermodynamics at work: the universe is spiraling into chaos. . . .

[You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. . . .]

Reagan was the worst President we ever had by a mile. Even worse than Richard Nixon or James Buchanan.

[What about Chimpy McBushitler? . . . How soon they forget. . . .]

I am what I call a "Frank Capra" American. . . .

[You are what I call a "Fulla Crapola" American.]

We the people of these United States are no more...at least not yet.

[Make up your mind.]

Its up to us..not the media not our elected officials.....not the police....only us as a PEOPLE TO DEMAND THAT WE GET RID OF THE COWARDS AND ALL THE CROOKS IN THIS COUNTRY THAT HAS DRIVEN THIS COUNTRY INTO HELLS LAP.

[WE ARE THE ONES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!! AAAARRRRGGHHH!!!!]

And "only us as a PEOPLE TO DEMAND THAT" cannot be done by sitting in front of a computer screen day in, day out. . . .

[Oh, why not? I sent a Letter To The Editor last week! DUAC! DUAC!]

if not to plan, organize, and coordinate a movement that would involve some 50 million people in street protests (or more than 50 million, if 50 million won't be enough...)

[More! 500 million! Import them from Europe, Shanghai, Bratislava, Taipei, Guam. . . .]

Such a people's movement would have to completely halt the US economy in its tracks for a couple of weeks. . . .

[Not One D*mn Dime Couple of Weeks!]

That said, who's ready to lead such a MASSIVE Movement?

[How about nadin brzezzzshinski? We've reached the Rubicon and crossed a tipping point!]

I hate where some Democrats are right now...criticizing the brethren. . . .

[They're down in the sistern!]

I expect matters to get worse before I die, alas.

[The world continues to deteriorate. Give up!]

We are in a death struggle with the RW powers that be.

[Here we see the DUmmie Ant engaged in a life-or-death struggle with the Fox. . . .]

The enemy is in the f***ing tent -- Do you get that? The right wing is IN the Democratic tent right now, masquearading as Third Way, Blue Dogs, DLCers. . . .

[And LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Time to get the broom.

[Is that you, Helen Thomas?]

And a heavy duty dose of roach spray.

[Plus a bunch of roach clips.]

Obama has done nothing but continue and expand undemocratic Bush policies.

[IMPEACH OBAMA NOW!]

We are run by a set of vultures and there does not seem to be any way to stop them. . . . Vultures? More like cannibals.

[Most of you like cannabis.]

I am MUCH more concerned about republicans than mere terrorists.

[Beware the Palinstinians!]

Something else about Pat Sajak. He is ultra-sensitive about his height. They have elevated platforms behind the podiums where the contestants stand for Pat to stand on so he will never appear to be too short. You will seldom (never?) see a tall Wheel of Fortune contestant and some are really short. I guarantee Wheel of Fortune has a question on their entrance form like, "How tall are you?" If you are over 5'4" you are eliminated.

[Before the show, they put contestants ON the Wheel and run it in reverse, to make them shorter.]

America is in Pottersville right now. . . .

[Pitt is in Bukowskiville right now.]

I'm pretty tiny - I weigh a little over 100lbs, and I'm 5'4". I don't fear anything. . . .

[Hey, you could get on Wheel of Fortune! . . . The Wheel is not that bad, really. A few crushed vertebrae, that's all.]

stick a fork in us, we are done

[Wishing won't make it happen, ben.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
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To: eddie willers
Oh, he's been causing mischief for a long time, that one:


101 posted on 05/28/2011 11:46:00 AM PDT by FredZarguna ("It looks just like a Telefunken U47.....with leather.")
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To: Charles Henrickson; LUV W; FredZarguna; eyedigress; mylife; Roscoe Karns; PJ-Comix; franksolich; ...

I’M not talking.. . . .


102 posted on 05/28/2011 12:20:31 PM PDT by mikrofon (They have Confidentiality Agreements, y'know...)
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To: bcsco
Well, if here was a sump in Sumter, things might have turned out better...
103 posted on 05/28/2011 12:24:21 PM PDT by mikrofon (ONE letter can make all the difference.)
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To: mikrofon

Could they pump that sump back then? They’d either have to drain it or put in a lot of yucky man hours.


104 posted on 05/28/2011 12:27:47 PM PDT by bcsco (..)
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To: Charles Henrickson
The great majority of the country would love to see bankers in chains. . . .

"Bankers in Chains" is passe' music -- we're on to newer sounds...

105 posted on 05/28/2011 12:30:49 PM PDT by mikrofon (Didn't they play at the Royal Wedding?)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Want to see this country's position flipped by 180 degrees?...wait 12 hours

Sometimes it seems to take 12 hours to get your burger flipped 180 degrees...

106 posted on 05/28/2011 12:35:19 PM PDT by mikrofon (Popular DUmmie occupation.)
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To: mikrofon
Want to see this country's position flipped by 180 degrees?...wait 12 hours

Or 24 business hours, whichever comes first.

107 posted on 05/28/2011 12:40:29 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (WHEEL . . . OF . . . TORTURE !)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Its up to us......only us as a PEOPLE TO DEMAND THAT WE GET RID OF THE COWARDS AND ALL THE CROOKS IN THIS COUNTRY THAT HAS DRIVEN THIS COUNTRY INTO HELLS LAP.

[WE ARE THE ONE'S WE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR!! AAAARRRRGGHHH!!!!]

108 posted on 05/28/2011 12:42:43 PM PDT by mikrofon (Corrected ONLY in the interests of accuracy ;)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Tight squeeze? :D


109 posted on 05/28/2011 1:43:01 PM PDT by LUV W (RUN SARAH...RUN!)
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To: mikrofon; Charles Henrickson

Only teleprompters actually talk...however moronic....mikrofons project.


110 posted on 05/28/2011 1:49:42 PM PDT by LUV W (RUN SARAH...RUN!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Wow! Not one, but TWO references to Deteriorata! Props, Charles!
111 posted on 05/28/2011 2:08:05 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Obama said OBL is dead I didn't believe it. Al Qaeda says he's dead and now I do!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
who finally found some Flor de Caña rum here in St. Louis

Which kind? The 4 year old rum is about the same price as Bacardi but MUCH better. How did you like it?

112 posted on 05/28/2011 3:29:23 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer/)
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To: PJ-Comix
Which kind? The 4 year old rum is about the same price as Bacardi but MUCH better. How did you like it?

It's the 4-year-old Flor de Caña rum. I was hoping for something older, but this was all they had. It tasted very nice over vanilla ice cream. I should add some raisins and make rum raisin.

Do you like to drink rum straight? On the rocks? Mixed with . . . what?

113 posted on 05/28/2011 3:37:46 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (WHEEL . . . OF . . . TORTURE !)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Thank you for the explanation, Charles.

I was getting very stressed about what in the heck Sajak had done to turn the country into mush. :0

As always..your comments are hilarious.


114 posted on 05/28/2011 5:23:36 PM PDT by berdie (qill)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Do you like to drink rum straight? On the rocks? Mixed with . . . what?

It's a crime to mix this aged rum. I drink it STRAIGHT on the rocks. You want to mix something then mix Bacardi. BTW, you do know the story of what happened to me in Puerto Rico when I was eight and my father caught me grabbing a sip of banana rum?

115 posted on 05/28/2011 6:08:24 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer/)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Frank Capra or Frank Zappa? which is it I am confused.


116 posted on 05/29/2011 7:16:19 PM PDT by CONSERVE
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To: Charles Henrickson

“I used to believe we were a free country.”

Yep and that is what the DUmmies hated about it. They are only PO’d because they haven’t been able to control enough of MY life to satisfy them.

Go to He!! DUmmies.


117 posted on 05/31/2011 8:33:24 AM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the "Dave Ramsey Fan" ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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