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DUmmie FUnnies 07-03-11 (Yankee Doodle DUmmies: Scorn on the Fourth of July)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | July 3, 2011 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 07/03/2011 8:10:34 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

"Don't you DARE question my patriotism!" cry the DUmmies, lest they be accused of being anti-American. Vainly do they try to wrap themselves in the flag, in an effort to mask their radical leftist tendencies. And so when Independence Day rolls around, they feel they must take back the holiday from the domain of the Teabaggers--even though the Founding Fathers were the ORIGINAL Tea Party! Even though the DUmmies really HATE the Fourth of July and all it stands for, they must pretend otherwise.

How successful are they? Let's find out on this THREAD, "Time to ban the 4th of July?" and this THREAD, "Harvard Study: Kids who attend 4th of July parades more likely to vote Republican."

So let us watch the fireworks over the Fourth, in Red-White-and-DU, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Time to ban the 4th of July?

[Let's go straight from the 3rd to the 5th. Actually, a lot of the DUmmies would LIKE to go straight to a fifth. (Although not all of them would go straight.)]

According to the report, published by Harvard University, July 4th-themed festivities (defined by the study as fireworks, parades, political speeches, and barbecues) not only energize primarily Republicans, but also turn children into Republicans and increase GOP voter turnout.

[Turning kids into Rethugs? Child abuse!]

Nobody knows what it's about anyway anymore.

[Thank you, NEA!]

Just like all holidays we celebrate in this country...most are an excuse to drink beer.

[We hold these brews to be self-indulgent. . . .]

I've never voted for an R in a statewide or national election in my entire f***ing life, but you can best believe that after attending the local 4th of July Parade we'll be barbequing at my house, then going down to the marina to watch the fireworks show over the lake. . . . Fireworks... f*** yeah!

{Thank you for proving the point the above DUmmie was making: All the trappings, without the substance.]

I heard a local radio talk show discussing this. The Reps were saying that since Dems are not as enthusiastic about parades and fireworks, they are not patriotic. . . . I suppose it all comes down to how you define "patriotism".

[Oh, how about . . . love of country . . . valuing freedom from Big Government . . . being willing to use military might to protect our country . . . honoring the Founding Fathers. . . . Those things work for you? No? How come?]

As synonymous with "nationalism", obviously, but then most Americans think they're the same thing.

[Yeah, it's good to be patriotic about some OTHER nation, like France, or Canada, or Cuba. . . .]

I truly believe that they would hate the founding fathers that they think they love.

[Yes, the Founding Parents were really long-wigged hippies who LOVED high taxes--"investing in the Empire," they called it--the seizure of guns, and an all-powerful distant government. . . . No, wait! That's what they were fighting AGAINST! Darn, I always get those things mixed up!]

I don't see much to be proud of on the 4th....

[But don't question my patriotism!]

I love the fourth of July. . . .

[The Fourth is strong with this one.]

Why is that some in our party want to ban everything ... Ban smoking, ban salt, ban fast food restaurants, ban guns, ban fireworks, ban the Bible, ban Fox News, ban gas guzzlers, ban incandescent light bulbs, ban violent video games, ban the Fourth of July, ban Christmas, ban any mention of God, ban, ban, ban, ban.

[Ban, ban, ban, ban. . . . Ban, ban, ban, ban. . . . LOVELY BAN, WONDERFUL BAN!]

I personally love living in a free nation.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

If I want to go to Burger King once a month and enjoy a hamburger and fries, smoke a cigar when someone has a baby or enjoy watching a parade on the Fourth of July I should be allowed to.

[HERESY!]

If we continue down this road we will lose a lot more voters than we will attract.

[Kewpie Doll.]

the fireworks people set off in my complex make the dogs go crazy.

[The Dogs Must Be Crazy: Winner of the 1981 Dyslexia Award at the Canines Film Festival.]

I hate all jingoistic bullsh*t like the 4th of July. All those stupid super-patriotic holidays like Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, etc. I refuse to wave a flag, to stand when the anthem is played, to say the Pledge. The hell with all that.

[NOW may we question your patriotism?]

Watching fireworks being set off by authorities makes you more fascist. Setting off fireworks yourself makes you more independent.

[Or left-handed.]

Watching officials and organizations in a parade makes you more fascist. Making your own parade float (especially without a guiding organization) makes you more independent.

[Making your own parade float without a parade makes you NUts.]

Sitting around all day eating junk food makes you more fascist. Packing a healthy picnic and going out into the boonies makes you more independent.

[Tofu salad with pine nuts, skim soy water--yeah, that says Fourth of July to me!]

You want to ban the 4th of July. My vote is to ban you instead.

[The Battle of the Bans!]

Harvard Study: Kids who attend 4th of July parades more likely to vote Republican.

[Henrickson Study: Young skulls full of mush who attend Harvard more likely to vote Democrat.]

Even a single July 4 celebration boosts the chance of turning a kid into a Republican. . . .

[It's like radiation poisoning from the fireworks or something.]

My Pop took us to air shos also. (excuse the typos as my double u is not orking on the keyboard. . . .

[This DUmmie banned the letter "W" from his keyboard, that's how progressive he is!]

I even have red, white and blue decorations up for the holiday.

[The Red Star, a white flag, and Democrat blue.]

Flag wavers generally are repukes.

[Ban the flag! Ban repukes!]

This spreads the ludicrous meme that Publicans are inherently more patriotic, and that "proper child rearing" will produce the "good kind" of 'Murkkkin."

[The Parenting and the Publican.]

This is dumb.

[This is DUmmieland.]

Maybe I can commission a study and conclude that attending Harvard makes you 50% more likely to be an elitist douchebag.

[LEAVE OBAMA ALONE!!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies

1 posted on 07/03/2011 8:10:39 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: Charles Henrickson

IBTP


2 posted on 07/03/2011 8:11:53 PM PDT by txroadkill ( "The system worked" - J. Napolitano / "We're sooooooo screwed!" -TxRoadkill)
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

PING!


3 posted on 07/03/2011 8:14:23 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Ban on the Fourth of July . . .)
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To: Charles Henrickson

top 10


4 posted on 07/03/2011 8:16:30 PM PDT by grwcfl537 (No M$ products on this network.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top 10!


5 posted on 07/03/2011 8:19:41 PM PDT by SoCal SoCon (Yesterday Argentina, Today Greece, Tomorrow America)
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To: Charles Henrickson

LOL Happy 4th, Charles.


6 posted on 07/03/2011 8:20:55 PM PDT by stilloftyhenight
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To: grwcfl537

Fascists eat junk food?


7 posted on 07/03/2011 8:20:55 PM PDT by woofie
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To: woofie

Fasc-food.


8 posted on 07/03/2011 8:23:47 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Ban on the Fourth of July . . .)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Well a couple of their responses don’t suck.


9 posted on 07/03/2011 8:24:20 PM PDT by Eaker (The problem with the internet, you're never sure of the accuracy of the quotes. Abraham Lincoln '65)
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To: Charles Henrickson

To balance things out, I’m sure that attending “Gay Pride” parades increases ones chances of becoming a democrat. Or very confused. Maybe both.


10 posted on 07/03/2011 8:24:30 PM PDT by Sapper26 (Political Refugee From the Obamanation)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Maybe I can commission a study and conclude that attending Harvard makes you 50% more likely to be an elitist douchebag.

That has to be a Freeper.

11 posted on 07/03/2011 8:26:38 PM PDT by Lurker (The avalanche has begun. The pebbles no longer have a vote.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

These people are such miserable bags of skin. No wonder they’re socialists. Misery loves company.


12 posted on 07/03/2011 8:26:41 PM PDT by DJ MacWoW (America! The wolves are at your door! How will you answer the knock?)
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To: Charles Henrickson

[The Fourth is strong with this one.]

Ok...I laughed but held the beverage in my mouth ... but then...

With “the Dogs must be crazy” comment ....

You would have owed me a keyboard....if I hadn’t turned my head.


13 posted on 07/03/2011 8:27:48 PM PDT by Winstons Julia (when liberals rant, it's called free speech; when conservatives vent, it's called hate speech.)
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To: Sapper26
"To balance things out, I’m sure that attending “Gay Pride” parades increases ones chances of becoming a democrat."

Or, at the worst, never hearing your own farts again...

14 posted on 07/03/2011 8:32:34 PM PDT by jonascord (The Drug War Rapes the Constitution.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Thanks (I think) for a very unpatriotic glimpse of DUmmieland on the eve of Independence Day. Very revealing.

Also revealing was the number of Kewpie-doll candidates - that gives me the tinest glimmer of hope for a future. They can't all be FReeper Trolls, can they?!

(Happy 4th of July to you and yours!)

15 posted on 07/03/2011 8:36:37 PM PDT by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Setting off fireworks yourself makes you more independent.

Can't argue that Charles. Although short, wet fuses tend to put us in county Burn Units and make us wards of the state.
16 posted on 07/03/2011 8:37:26 PM PDT by Thrownatbirth (.....Iraq Invasion fan since '91.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

This thread brings to mind when demonrats in Congress or talking pundits ask “Surely you are not questioning his/my patriotism!!!?

Always the answer is No, or of course not, or something like that. Why? Why not say H311 YES I am!! Especially the occupier of our WH.


17 posted on 07/03/2011 8:44:18 PM PDT by gidget7 ("When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property." Thomas Jefferson)
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To: gidget7

top 20


18 posted on 07/03/2011 8:45:27 PM PDT by kalee (The offenses we give, we write in the dust; Those we take, we engrave in marble. J Huett 1658)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I love watching the in Dummies Torment!

I love that they are free to be fools.

FREEDUMB!!!


19 posted on 07/03/2011 8:56:13 PM PDT by mylife (OPINIONS ~ $ 1.00 HALFBAKED ~ 50c)
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To: Charles Henrickson

What’s to question? The answer is obvious.


20 posted on 07/03/2011 8:59:48 PM PDT by Beowulf9
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To: Charles Henrickson

I still don’t think the DUmmies have a clue as to how mentally deficient they really are. lol


21 posted on 07/03/2011 9:01:50 PM PDT by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Happiness)
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To: Charles Henrickson

One banned the W.
Stupid funny!


22 posted on 07/03/2011 9:05:25 PM PDT by right way right
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To: woofie

Fascists eat junk food?


That is when they turn into “Repukes”. LOL

I’d never heard “Repukes” before.


23 posted on 07/03/2011 9:18:51 PM PDT by unkus
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To: DJ MacWoW

These people are such miserable bags of skin. No wonder they’re socialists. Misery loves company.


Socialism only spreads the misery. They feed on each other’s misery. It’s a vicious circle or cycle of misery they thrive on.


24 posted on 07/03/2011 9:22:41 PM PDT by unkus
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To: Charles Henrickson

Only a DUmbass Dummie or a Mexican beer company would think that you needed a holiday to drink beer. That’s why Cinco de Mayo was created.


25 posted on 07/03/2011 9:26:07 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (When the going gets tough, the tough check themselves into "rehab".)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Everyone knows only racists and homophobes celebrate the 4th of July.


26 posted on 07/03/2011 9:38:20 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
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To: Charles Henrickson
"Don't you DARE question my patriotism!" cry the DUmmies...

They have a point. Questioning something that doesn't exist is an exercise in futility.

27 posted on 07/03/2011 9:45:25 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: Charles Henrickson
Why is that some in our party want to ban everything ... Ban smoking, ban salt, ban fast food restaurants, ban guns, ban fireworks, ban the Bible, ban Fox News, ban gas guzzlers, ban incandescent light bulbs, ban violent video games, ban the Fourth of July, ban Christmas, ban any mention of God, ban, ban, ban, ban.

That HAS to be a Lousy Freeper Troll!!!

28 posted on 07/03/2011 9:56:02 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: Charles Henrickson

These clowns hate every holiday, except for New Years (excuse to get mega-drunk) and Labor Day (union worship).


29 posted on 07/03/2011 10:00:16 PM PDT by Newtoidaho (Fight organized crime. Vote out all incumbent Democrats!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
If I want to go to Burger King once a month and enjoy a hamburger and fries, smoke a cigar when someone has a baby or enjoy watching a parade on the Fourth of July I should be allowed to.

Yes, make sure you ask your masters for permission. Slave. The sad thing is you don't even understand you have accepted slavery by your very words.

30 posted on 07/03/2011 10:08:29 PM PDT by Nuc 1.1 (Nuc 1 Liberals aren't Patriots. Remember 1789!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Maybe I can commission a study and conclude that attending Harvard makes you 50% more likely to be an elitist douchebag.
31 posted on 07/03/2011 10:26:51 PM PDT by hattend (Let's all meet Sarah at her last bus stop -- 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in Jan 2013)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Maybe I can commission a study and conclude that attending Harvard makes you 50% more likely to be an elitist douchebag.

No official study needed. Just trust what you see and hear.

32 posted on 07/03/2011 10:28:25 PM PDT by hattend (Let's all meet Sarah at her last bus stop -- 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in Jan 2013)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Good one Charles. thanks :)


33 posted on 07/04/2011 4:13:31 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: Charles Henrickson
I hate all jingoistic bullsh*t like the 4th of July. All those stupid super-patriotic holidays like Veteran's Day, Memorial Day, etc. I refuse to wave a flag, to stand when the anthem is played, to say the Pledge. The hell with all that.

(pssst hey DUmmie) Yeah you. Can I have a word with you in this alley over here?

Thanks.

34 posted on 07/04/2011 4:48:03 AM PDT by Condor51 (The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits [A.Einstein])
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To: Charles Henrickson

Is that Pied Piper Pitt warning the founders about letting the colonists have guns?


35 posted on 07/04/2011 5:01:12 AM PDT by Hacksaw (Puritansim: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

36 posted on 07/04/2011 5:08:42 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: DJ MacWoW
These people are such miserable bags of skin. No wonder they’re socialists. Misery loves company.

And since they believe that happiness is a zero-sum game, they're miserable that we corner the market!


37 posted on 07/04/2011 5:11:55 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (Obama is the least qualified guy in whatever room he walks into.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Into the top 40 like Kasey Kasem with a bottle rocket or something. I dunno.


38 posted on 07/04/2011 5:50:59 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Anyone who says we need illegals to do the jobs Americans won't do has never watched "Dirty Jobs.")
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To: Charles Henrickson

[The Dogs Must Be Crazy: Winner of the 1981 Dyslexia Award at the Canines Film Festival.]


Priceless! LOL


39 posted on 07/04/2011 6:02:16 AM PDT by ecomcon
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’ve been reading and enjoying DUmmie FUnnies for years, and for some reason, reading this one has me thinking, “That’s it—they’re completely insane.” Some of these responses are indicative of deep mental health issues. (All kidding aside.) What a bunch.

Hope everyone has a great Independence Day.


40 posted on 07/04/2011 7:25:42 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 (``Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it``-Pope John Paul II)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Why is that some in our party want to ban everything . . . . ban, ban, ban, ban.

The "Ban" most DUmmies should really be concerned with:


41 posted on 07/04/2011 7:26:54 AM PDT by mikrofon (Tally Bans)
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To: Charles Henrickson
the fireworks people set off in my complex make the dogs go crazy

How do the dogs know they're fireworks people? Do they smell like Republicans?

42 posted on 07/04/2011 7:30:18 AM PDT by mikrofon (Happy Independence Day!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Nobody knows what it's about anyway anymore.

[Thank you, NEA!]

It's sad to see DUmmies who have no clue what the 4th of July is really about. The NEA should be abolished.


I don't see much to be proud of on the 4th....

[But don't question my patriotism!]

You can really tell which people in our neighborhood are Conservatives and which are DUmmies by the display of the U S Flag today.

43 posted on 07/04/2011 7:59:10 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (zero hates Texas and we hate him back. He ain't my president either.)
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To: Mears

bfl


44 posted on 07/04/2011 1:39:02 PM PDT by Mears
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To: Charles Henrickson
Time to ban the 4th of July?

May the 4th be with you....

45 posted on 07/04/2011 11:10:09 PM PDT by FDNYRHEROES (It's 3 AM. Let me sleep on it. I'll get back to you in 16 hours.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

[Let’s go straight from the 3rd to the 5th. Actually, a lot of the DUmmies would LIKE to go straight to a fifth. (Although not all of them would go straight.)]

More likely, straight to a third fifth.


46 posted on 07/06/2011 7:21:01 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Islam is a violent and tyrannical political ideology and has nothing to do with "religion".)
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To: Charles Henrickson
If I want to go to Burger King once a month and enjoy a hamburger and fries, smoke a cigar when someone has a baby or enjoy watching a parade on the Fourth of July I should be allowed to.

Of course, YOU can. You're a DUmmie. It's the unenlightened masses who cannot.
Some pigs are more equal than others.

47 posted on 07/06/2011 10:22:30 AM PDT by Ignatz (I'm telling you that I don't mind telling you...)
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