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Police Warn Against Resisting Flash Mobs
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 27 Aug 2011 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/29/2011 9:35:07 AM PDT by John Semmens

Police in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania warned residents against resisting the depredations of flash mobs bent on looting and mayhem. Several cities in Pennsylvania have recently been victimized by gangs of youths who organize and coordinate attacks on local businesses through social media. Gun sales in these areas have reportedly increased giving rise to police fears of vigilantism.

“Look, just because police are helpless against these mobs doesn’t mean people should take matters into their own hands,” Upper Darby police Captain George Rhoades said. “Thus far, the damage has been mostly confined to theft and destruction of property. The only people who’ve gotten hurt are those who tried to stop the youths from robbing them or who’ve just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Rhoades acknowledged that “according to the law, the actions of these mobs are crimes, but mature adults ought to be more understanding. These kids come from bad neighborhoods. They want the same things you want. They just can’t afford to pay for them. Is inability to pay where we want to draw the line between who can and who can’t have? Do you really want to shoot someone for trying to readjust the distribution of property?”

The Police Captain urged residents to “stay away from trouble if you can. Don’t go out. Lock your doors. You’ll probably avoid getting hurt. If you do get hurt, or your place is trashed, well, that’s what insurance is for.”

read more...

http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/08/27/first-family%e2%80%99s-lavish-vacation-spending-justified-says-administration/


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: blogpimp; crime; police; property; satire
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1 posted on 08/29/2011 9:35:10 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

In before the first poster who thinks this is real!


2 posted on 08/29/2011 9:36:45 AM PDT by DBrow
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To: John Semmens

I know it’s “Semi-news Satire”...but are you sure you just didn’t copy it from the UK Guardian and change the names to fit?


3 posted on 08/29/2011 9:37:19 AM PDT by Da Coyote
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To: John Semmens

I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY! The police admit they are helpless to stop these mobs and then suggest if you do get hurt or you place is trashed... that’s what insurance is for?! Are you serious? So, “don’t resist” means accept what? Rape, a beating, murder... it’s okay, that’s what life insurance is for?


4 posted on 08/29/2011 9:38:01 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: John Semmens

Rhoades acknowledged that “according to the law, the actions of these mobs are crimes, but mature adults ought to be more understanding. These kids come from bad neighborhoods. They want the same things you want. They just can’t afford to pay for them. Is inability to pay where we want to draw the line between who can and who can’t have? Do you really want to shoot someone for trying to readjust the distribution of property?”

WTF...hell yeah I’ll shoot


5 posted on 08/29/2011 9:40:47 AM PDT by BubbaJunebug
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To: DBrow
In before the first poster who thinks this is real!

The fourth post is the winner! :-)

6 posted on 08/29/2011 9:40:54 AM PDT by OldMissileer (Atlas, Titan, Minuteman, PK. Winners of the Cold War)
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To: DBrow

“In before the first poster who thinks this is real!”

Whew. That was close.

You just made it in by two posts..


7 posted on 08/29/2011 9:40:54 AM PDT by wolficatZ (Somebody once wrote "Revenge is a dish that has to be eaten cold".)
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To: momtothree; John Semmens

Ahem......check the source!


8 posted on 08/29/2011 9:41:00 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: John Semmens

Joke posting or not, I think flash mob people should be stopped by whatever means necessary, publicly whipped till their backs bleed profusely, then given a salt water washdown.


9 posted on 08/29/2011 9:41:38 AM PDT by NRA1995 (Obama couldn't run a lemonade stand. Let him eat peas!)
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To: John Semmens
“Look, just because police are helpless against these mobs doesn’t mean people should take matters into their own hands,” Upper Darby police Captain George Rhoades said

Sure stand still for a beat down, but make sure none of the precious youts hurts his hand.

Shoot a few of the a$$holes "aspiring rappers that were turning their lives around and loved their mommas and grand mommas" and see how popular flash mobs become. While I prefer an uzi, practically speaking a colt mustang .380 is a better concealed carry weapon.

10 posted on 08/29/2011 9:41:50 AM PDT by from occupied ga (your own government is your most dangerous enemy)
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To: DBrow

It has semi-news/semi-satire right in the title. Why would someone think it is real?

It does remind me of the dilimma of the pilots of the downed choppers in Black Hawk Down though. You need a lot of bullets, sometimes.


11 posted on 08/29/2011 9:41:55 AM PDT by cuban leaf
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To: BubbaJunebug

Ok...help me pull the hook out..........


12 posted on 08/29/2011 9:42:15 AM PDT by BubbaJunebug
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To: John Semmens
Rhoades acknowledged that “according to the law, the actions of these mobs are crimes, but mature adults ought to be more understanding.

Are you kidding me?? Mighty big of him to allow that these are crimes (assaults). But now we have to ba adults/mature and just let them pillage us??

13 posted on 08/29/2011 9:42:57 AM PDT by Obadiah (November 6, 2012 -- The date of the next great American Revolution!)
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To: wolficatZ

I didn’t even czech for typoos, I knew speed was of the essense


14 posted on 08/29/2011 9:43:09 AM PDT by DBrow
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To: ErnBatavia

“.. check the source”.

Oops, my bad! (funny thing is would this really surprise any of us?) I’m going away now... head hanging in shame!


15 posted on 08/29/2011 9:43:09 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: momtothree; John Semmens
I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY!

You say, "Good one, John! You understand liberals better than they understand themselves."

16 posted on 08/29/2011 9:43:24 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("True education is not an adjustment to the world, but a defense against the world.")
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To: OldMissileer

What do I win? I mean besides my blood pressure coming back to a normal range?


17 posted on 08/29/2011 9:44:41 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: momtothree

It was supposed to be a joke posting, but from the facts I’d say only the exact wording of the comments was fabricated. the police sentiment, and attitude toward the youts is based on reality.


18 posted on 08/29/2011 9:44:47 AM PDT by from occupied ga (your own government is your most dangerous enemy)
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To: John Semmens

Great article. Once again it is hard to tell the satire from the policy.
Heck you’re probably just ahead of the curve. Cops will probably be telling victims this in the near future.


19 posted on 08/29/2011 9:44:47 AM PDT by Little Ray (FOR the best Conservative in the Primary; AGAINST Obama in the General.)
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To: John Semmens

Heh heh! All that’s missing is a comment from the White House press secretary that the flash mobs may be nothing more than youth activist groups on a get-out-the-vote campaign organized by the Justice Department. :)


20 posted on 08/29/2011 9:45:14 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ( "The right to offend is far more important than any right not to be offended." - Rowan Atkinson)
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To: Obadiah

Okay, when posting these “funny” satires please acknowledge. This may have been written as satire, but it in fact mirrors the liberal mind.


21 posted on 08/29/2011 9:45:21 AM PDT by Obadiah (November 6, 2012 -- The date of the next great American Revolution!)
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To: John Semmens
The Police Captain urged residents to “stay away from trouble if you can...">

I thought we were going to be treated to lyrics from "The Coward of the County."

22 posted on 08/29/2011 9:46:36 AM PDT by pgyanke (Republicans get in trouble when not living up to their principles. Democrats... when they do.)
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To: DBrow

It didn’t help.


23 posted on 08/29/2011 9:46:54 AM PDT by listenhillary (Look your representatives in the eye and ask if they intend to pay off the debt. They will look away)
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To: John Semmens

Why would anybody resist? They are only carrying out government policy of taxing the rich and redistributing the wealth. Got to admire their initiative. Can’t wait for the government to do everything for you.


24 posted on 08/29/2011 9:47:06 AM PDT by all the best
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To: Tax-chick

Okay, okay... GOOD ONE, JOHN! You understand liberals better than they understand themselves”. (You are also a naughty, naughty person!!) LOL!


25 posted on 08/29/2011 9:47:13 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: from occupied ga

I guess that is why the article is so good! You can hear a liberal police chief saying this, can’t you? Well, at least I can. I think the “that’s what insurance is for” made my eyes roll back in my head for a moment. LOL!


26 posted on 08/29/2011 9:49:12 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: momtothree

Sometimes we find that a liberal has actually said or written what John made up!


27 posted on 08/29/2011 9:50:11 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("True education is not an adjustment to the world, but a defense against the world.")
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To: DBrow

Until I read the first post, my blood pressure rose.

Thanks John. :)


28 posted on 08/29/2011 9:51:29 AM PDT by Jonty30
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To: Obadiah

“Okay, when posting these “funny” satires please acknowledge.”

It’s right there in the title.

Police Warn Against Resisting Flash Mobs
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 27 Aug 2011 | John Semmens

I bet if a non “person of color” does any harm to one of the flashmobbers they will face a legal nightmare, and an MSM public lynching.


29 posted on 08/29/2011 9:51:31 AM PDT by wolficatZ (Somebody once wrote "Revenge is a dish that has to be eaten cold".)
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To: John Semmens
Ok you made me look. Sad part is that it was plausible.
30 posted on 08/29/2011 9:51:47 AM PDT by mad_as_he$$
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To: John Semmens
Pennsylvania's expanded "Castle Law" went into effect two days ago
31 posted on 08/29/2011 9:51:52 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (When you've only heard lies your entire life, the truth sounds insane.)
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To: John Semmens
“Look, just because police are helpless against these mobs doesn’t mean people should take matters into their own hands,” Upper Darby police Captain George Rhoades said.

UP YOURS, captain.

32 posted on 08/29/2011 9:52:24 AM PDT by GoldenPup
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To: Tax-chick

I am guessing that John has a tendency to do this often? I wonder if he was the type of kid to put super glue on a school seat or shoot spitballs? It would not surprise me at all though if some police chief wouldn’t say this in the future!


33 posted on 08/29/2011 9:52:54 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: John Semmens

Excellent writing and social commentary. Of course, the increasing madness of left makes satire an easier task every day.


34 posted on 08/29/2011 9:53:05 AM PDT by lurk
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To: John Semmens; BubbaJunebug; momtothree

Ya gotta watch John, he’s sneaky.


35 posted on 08/29/2011 9:53:19 AM PDT by Free Vulcan (Obama/Biden '12: No hope and chump change.)
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To: Free Vulcan

He is sneaky, isn’t he? He can write so... perfectly liberal. I’m not sure if that is a talent or not?


36 posted on 08/29/2011 9:56:42 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: from occupied ga

“While I prefer an Uzi, practically speaking a colt mustang .380 is a better concealed carry weapon.”

My 94 year old Mom recently warned me about the possibility of getting beaten senseless by a mob or some deranged road-rager. I said, “Mom, that’s why I carry a gun.”

About a decade ago in Tampa, the mayor forbid any police chases. Kids would let a cop pull up behind them at a light, put it in reverse and ram the cop; setting off his airbag. The kids would then speed away Scott-free. Then, the next mayor changed the rules and told the cops to chase and capture. I remember after a harrowing chase a teenage girl being arrested in front of cop-cam stamped her feet and whined, “But you’re not supposed to chase us! You’re breaking the rules!” Kids had made a lethal game out of the new no-chase rules. They’ve made a lethal game out of “knockout king” and flash mobs. We must stop them before innocent people get hurt. (Kids who do this type of thing are NOT innocent people. They’re just young hooligans and being “young” should not let them off the hook for ruining people’s lives.)


37 posted on 08/29/2011 10:01:39 AM PDT by Gen.Blather
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To: John Semmens

“Look, just because police are helpless against these mobs doesn’t mean people should take matters into their own hands,” Upper Darby police Captain George Rhoades said. “Thus far, the damage has been mostly confined to theft and destruction of property. The only people who’ve gotten hurt are those who tried to stop the youths from robbing them or who’ve just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

That’s some great satire John.


38 posted on 08/29/2011 10:02:36 AM PDT by Grunthor (In order; Perry, Palin. None of the rest matter 'til the general)
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To: momtothree

“Are you serious?”

hehehe....nope.


39 posted on 08/29/2011 10:05:08 AM PDT by Grunthor (In order; Perry, Palin. None of the rest matter 'til the general)
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To: DBrow
In before the first poster who thinks this is real!

Thank you. Truth be told, I thought it was real, not satire. Which says a great deal about how far we've fallen, IMO.

40 posted on 08/29/2011 10:06:17 AM PDT by neutrino (Globalization is the economic treason that dare not speak its name.(173))
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To: John Semmens
"semi-satire"

What part's the satire?

41 posted on 08/29/2011 10:07:23 AM PDT by from occupied ga (your own government is your most dangerous enemy)
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To: John Semmens
This is one of the reasons the the Second Amendment exists. And it is solution to putting an end to such "tyranny".
42 posted on 08/29/2011 10:08:53 AM PDT by oyez ( America is being pimped.)
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To: Grunthor

You can probably “hear” me yelling it, too! John definitely got me!!


43 posted on 08/29/2011 10:11:44 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: momtothree

Yeah, he used to get me too but now when I see his handle....I know.


44 posted on 08/29/2011 10:13:03 AM PDT by Grunthor (In order; Perry, Palin. None of the rest matter 'til the general)
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To: momtothree
What do I win? I mean besides my blood pressure coming back to a normal range?

A free golf outing this coming weekend with “The One” at the Fort Belvoir golf course.:-)

45 posted on 08/29/2011 10:14:30 AM PDT by OldMissileer (Atlas, Titan, Minuteman, PK. Winners of the Cold War)
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To: Grunthor

I am trying to think if I posted on an article of his before? Have I posted “outrage” like a hundred times and just realized his articles are satire? (if so, I am going to go take a walk or something in complete shame).


46 posted on 08/29/2011 10:17:27 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: OldMissileer

Anything but THAT!!! Torture, lashings, walking the plank... anything but a golf outing with the “One”. LOL!


47 posted on 08/29/2011 10:22:46 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: John Semmens

You almost got me that time. I was sure it was real until I looked at the source.

The hardest part about satirizing liberals is coming up with something stupid and ridiculous before one of them actually says it.


48 posted on 08/29/2011 10:23:32 AM PDT by kennedy (No relation to those other Kennedys.)
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To: John Semmens

When the citizens fear criminals, you get crap like this. When criminals fear the citizens, you don’t get crap like this.

Sorry but the Police are out of line here. We as a nation have to stop fearing criminals, stop pandering to them, and stop coddling them. Make criminals scared of committing crimes and the crime rate goes down. As it stands now, the criminals have no reason to fear breaking the law.


49 posted on 08/29/2011 10:25:44 AM PDT by BCR #226 (02/07 SOT www.extremefirepower.com...The BS stops when the hammer drops.)
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To: DBrow; All

Here is the real article from Darby, PA:

Cops Fear Violence Against Flash Mobs

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2768036/posts


50 posted on 08/29/2011 10:25:59 AM PDT by marktwain (In an age of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.)
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