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Woman Comes Forward To Detail Atrocities In Herman Cainís Apartment (Satire Attempt)
The Right Elective Decisions ^ | 11/03/2011 | Chris Davis

Posted on 11/03/2011 6:17:34 PM PDT by writer33

Washington,D.C. – With all of the accusations flying about what Herman Cain knew and when he knew it, one woman has dared to come forward and detail the atrocities of one horrific night in 1991. Previously, the woman was scared to come forward, but since Cain’s long train of abuses have been well-documented by the Politico, it only made sense to tell the public just what they can expect from a Cain presidency.

The woman, Sharon Itall, is now an influential insurance agent, but was once just the shell of a scarred woman after one night with Herman Cain. And since the allegations have surfaced, Sharon is willing to chronicle the events of that steamy, August night in Washington, D.C. In her opinion, there is simply no choice in the matter now.

Sharon says that the “denigrating events” all began at an office party. “It began by floating a keg that Mr. Cain had purchased for our office party,” stated Sharon. “Needless to say we were drunk, but I had no idea that the evening would spiral into a night of hell.”

TRED (The Right Elective Decisions) has not confirmed any of this story but feels compelled to keep you riveted to your computer screen. And this is the rest of her fateful story:

TRED: What exactly happened on that fateful night?

Sharon: Humiliation beyond belief. That’s what happened. (She begins to break down.)...


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: atrocities; blackwalnuts; chrisdavis; herbcain; hermancain; writer33
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To: writer33

LAWL!!! OMG He made me pump gas, oh the hugh manatee!!!


21 posted on 11/03/2011 6:30:35 PM PDT by Dengar01 (Dengar01 - "Heartless" since 1983!!!)
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To: justsaynomore

Good news! I got my Cain yard sign and bumper sticker just in time to piss of liberals here in Crook County, IL home of Obamaland!!!


22 posted on 11/03/2011 6:31:51 PM PDT by Dengar01 (Dengar01 - "Heartless" since 1983!!!)
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To: writer33

Chuckle.


23 posted on 11/03/2011 6:31:54 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it. (plagiarized))
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To: Allegra

There’s more coming, but the next one is not Cain related.


24 posted on 11/03/2011 6:32:21 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: knittnmom

Thank you, knittmom.


25 posted on 11/03/2011 6:33:06 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33

Excellent


26 posted on 11/03/2011 6:33:12 PM PDT by Pontiac (The welfare state must fail because it is contrary to human nature and diminishes the human spirit.)
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To: Gator113

I think you’ve nailed it, Gator.


27 posted on 11/03/2011 6:33:38 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33

Good to “see” you back!


28 posted on 11/03/2011 6:34:37 PM PDT by dynachrome ("Our forefathers didn't bury their guns. They buried those that tried to take them.")
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To: Dengar01

Thank you, Dengar. Glad you enjoyed it.


29 posted on 11/03/2011 6:35:01 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33
Are you or have you ever been a registered Democrat?

Ha. Actually, I thought it was going to be, "Are you or have you ever been a live-in maid?"

30 posted on 11/03/2011 6:35:22 PM PDT by TChad
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To: Navy Patriot

Thank you, NP. Glad you enjoyed it.


31 posted on 11/03/2011 6:35:22 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33

The way these hypersensitive morons are everyone will have to stand still and only discretely nod to others. One must do this all the time and in all instances. Anything else will be a capitol crime and bring you great grief.


32 posted on 11/03/2011 6:36:17 PM PDT by hal ogen (First Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
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To: Pontiac

Thank you, Pontiac. Glad you enjoyed it.


33 posted on 11/03/2011 6:36:49 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: dynachrome

Thank you. It’s good to “be” back.


34 posted on 11/03/2011 6:37:39 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33

Don’t tell me . . . he forced her to listen to Chubby Checker songs from the 60’s. What a horrible night that must have been for her. And he made her do the twist? That’s over the line, pal.


35 posted on 11/03/2011 6:38:41 PM PDT by Saundra Duffy ( For victory & freedom!!!)
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To: TChad
Ha. Actually, I thought it was going to be, "Are you or have you ever been a live-in maid?"

That would've been a good question though. Thanks for reading, Chad. Glad you enjoyed it.

36 posted on 11/03/2011 6:39:44 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: hal ogen

Because we all know you certainly don’t want to get wave at somebody and not get all your fingers up in the air. LOL!

In all seriousness, you are spot on, hal.


37 posted on 11/03/2011 6:41:09 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33

Fuuunnnnnyyyy :^)


38 posted on 11/03/2011 6:41:41 PM PDT by Jane Long (Soli Deo Gloria!)
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To: writer33

I guess it’s over for Cain now (LOL).


39 posted on 11/03/2011 6:41:47 PM PDT by BobL (A vote for Gingrich is a vote for Romney)
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To: Saundra Duffy

Way over the line, Saundra. LOL!


40 posted on 11/03/2011 6:42:04 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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