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Allred Says Cain Hiring a Lawyer Proves Hes Guilty [SATIRE]
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 12 Nov 2011 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/12/2011 10:08:45 AM PST by John Semmens

Gloria Allred, the lawyer retained by Cain accuser Sharon Bialek, slammed presidential candidate Herman Cain for retaining attorney Lin Wood to help him defend against the sexual harassment accusations that have been launched against him. Wood is considered a top notch expert in defamation of character cases and gained great notoriety for his efforts in clearing the name of Richard Jewel, the man who was falsely accused of bombing the Atlanta Olympics in 1996.

“If he’s innocent why does he need a lawyer?” Allred demanded to know. “Truth is the defense of the innocent. Only the guilty need an attorney to make their case. I think people will find this latest twist highly suspicious.”

To delve into this suspicious behavior, Allred suggested that Congress subpoena Cain to testify before a House or Senate Committee. “Not only is the nation at risk of putting a sexual predator into the office of president, but it has become clear that substantial reforms need to be enacted,” Allred insisted.

Among Allred’s proffered reforms would be provisions aimed at protecting women from having to expose themselves to potential retaliation for leveling harassment accusations. “A woman should be allowed to remain anonymous throughout the whole process,” Allred argued. “Being identified as an accuser can wreck a woman’s future employment opportunities. Any needed communications can go through her lawyer.”

“A further measure to reduce potential retaliation would be to require the accused to step down until he can prove that no woman has ever felt intimidated by his actions in the workplace,” Allred said. “Or he could post a substantial bond that would be forfeited if any additional accusations were made prior to the full settlement of ones that have already been levied.”

In related news, NBC talking head David Gregory rued the lack of a “Grand Wizard” in the Republican Party who could order Cain to step down. “Democrats don’t have this kind of shortcoming,” Gregory maintained. “I mean, after Ted Kennedy killed that girl he was forced to put his presidential ambitions on hold for 10 years. That was real leadership, not the anarchy we’re seeing from the Republicans in this current flap.”

read more...

http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/11/12/allred-says-cain-hiring-a-lawyer-proves-he%e2%80%99s-guilty/


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: cain; democrats; gloriaallred; harassment; hermancain; satire
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1 posted on 11/12/2011 10:08:47 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: 43north; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; ...

ping


2 posted on 11/12/2011 10:10:29 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

ROFLMAO!!!


3 posted on 11/12/2011 10:11:29 AM PST by Hoodat (Because they do not change, Therefore they do not fear God. -Psalm 55:19-)
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To: John Semmens
After hearing him say "Princess Pelosi"...I'd say the sexual harrassment issues are much more probable than I thought.

As President, he would be her boss....and yeh...that would be sexual harrassment.

And then there's the fact that he said it wasn't nice. Maybe offer her $45,000.

4 posted on 11/12/2011 10:13:00 AM PST by Sacajaweau
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To: John Semmens

BTTT!


5 posted on 11/12/2011 10:13:06 AM PST by MNJohnnie (Giving more money to DC to fix the Debt is like giving free drugs to addicts think it will cure them)
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To: John Semmens

That’s why people like Sharon hire her!


6 posted on 11/12/2011 10:13:46 AM PST by presently no screen name
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To: Sacajaweau

So was your sense of humor surgically removed or were just born with that handicap?


7 posted on 11/12/2011 10:15:19 AM PST by MNJohnnie (Giving more money to DC to fix the Debt is like giving free drugs to addicts think it will cure them)
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To: John Semmens
“I mean, after Ted Kennedy killed that girl he was forced to put his presidential ambitions on hold for 10 years. That was real leadership, not the anarchy we’re seeing from the Republicans in this current flap.”

I could almost see Gregory saying that...classic!

8 posted on 11/12/2011 10:15:48 AM PST by who knows what evil? (G-d saved more animals than people on the ark...www.siameserescue.org.)
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To: John Semmens

Semi-news in deed. I am learning to read the small print on these posts.

We had some inmates who carved a little peephole in a door which let them look into an area were women staff were showering. A smart Sgt. set them up and caught them.

One of the employees contacted Allred and she wrote a letter to our director demanding an explanation.

I was assigned to look int it and penned the response. My secretary reviewed it, the chief counsel reviewed it and the director signed it. We mailed it to Allred’s office.

Right after we mailed it, the counsel, was looking at his copy and noticed I had misspelled Allred as AlFred. He laughed and said it was probably a $100,000 mistake.

Fortunately she accepted our actions and we never heard from her again.

Best wishes.


9 posted on 11/12/2011 10:16:32 AM PST by morphing libertarian
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To: John Semmens
“I mean, after Ted Kennedy killed that girl he was forced to put his presidential ambitions on hold for 10 years. That was real leadership, not the anarchy we’re seeing from the Republicans in this current flap.”

Ha!

10 posted on 11/12/2011 10:16:47 AM PST by Yardstick
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To: Sacajaweau

Please tell me you were being sarcastic - and that you were parodying the idiot Carl Quintenilla of CNBC.

PLEEZE


11 posted on 11/12/2011 10:17:14 AM PST by C. Edmund Wright (Moderator of Florida Tea Party Convention Presidential Debate)
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To: John Semmens

LoL. That’s rich coming from the ambulance chaser.


12 posted on 11/12/2011 10:18:36 AM PST by nuconvert ( Khomeini promised change too // Hail, Chairman O)
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To: John Semmens
“Not only is the nation at risk of putting a sexual predator into the office of president,

Too late.

13 posted on 11/12/2011 10:20:34 AM PST by DejaJude (Honestly, I had a really great tagline, but I lost it somewhere!)
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To: Sacajaweau
As President, he would be her boss....

The President is not the boss of anyone in Congress.

Hopefully, the phrase "Separation of Powers" rings a bell.

14 posted on 11/12/2011 10:20:49 AM PST by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: John Semmens

Mr. Cain’s attorney must have really shaken up the Allred camp. He is a “defamation of character” attorney, not a criminal defense attorney. Regarding he must be guilty because he hired an attorney, what does she think her client did? Or is she admitting that someone else hired her?


15 posted on 11/12/2011 10:21:22 AM PST by murron (Proud Mom of a Marine Vet)
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To: Sacajaweau

LOL! You sure are a Saca something....


16 posted on 11/12/2011 10:22:28 AM PST by freebilly
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To: Sacajaweau

Oh, give me a break.

Cain has called Pelosi ‘Princess Nancy” and Reid “Prince Harry” on his radio show for years.


17 posted on 11/12/2011 10:23:24 AM PST by justsaynomore (http://teamcain.hermancain.com - http://www.meetup.com/HermanCain/)
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To: Sacajaweau

“Princess Pelosi”...

I loved it


18 posted on 11/12/2011 10:24:38 AM PST by Java4Jay (The evils of government are directly proportional to the tolerance of the people.)
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To: John Semmens
tooo funny...
19 posted on 11/12/2011 10:25:24 AM PST by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: John Semmens

I thought a PR person was pointing to guilt.


20 posted on 11/12/2011 10:26:56 AM PST by bmwcyle (Obama is a Communist, a Muslim, and an illegal alien)
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To: Sacajaweau
"As President, he would be her boss ... "

He would be her boss? You really need to read the Constitution and have someone who understands English go through it with you. The President is the head of the Executive Branch, see if you can figure it out from there.

21 posted on 11/12/2011 10:35:50 AM PST by Rashputin (Obama stark, raving, mad, and even his security people know it.)
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To: John Semmens

Using her own logic, every client who hires her as his/her defense attorney is guilty...no?


22 posted on 11/12/2011 10:36:16 AM PST by jra
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To: Sacajaweau
"After hearing him say "Princess Pelosi"...I'd say the sexual harrassment issues are much more probable than I thought."

At least he didn't call her

PELOSI GALORE like I have for years.

23 posted on 11/12/2011 10:37:28 AM PST by Spunky (Sarah Palin on Polls "Poles are for Strippers and Cross Country Skiers")
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To: Sacajaweau

Seeing you posting history, it does not surprise me that you will not hesitate to smear one more conservative, along with the liberal gutter trawling bottom feeding smear merchants.


24 posted on 11/12/2011 10:43:32 AM PST by Moorings
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To: John Semmens

Cain hired a lawyer that specializes in “defamation of character cases.” Mr. Cain is getting ready to sue some bottom feeding scum.


25 posted on 11/12/2011 10:43:55 AM PST by cpdiii (Deckhand, Roughneck, Mud Man, Geologist, Pilot, Pharmacist. THE CONSTITUTION IS WORTH DYING FOR!)
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To: John Semmens

I think I could write better, sharper, satire.

But it is about right.


26 posted on 11/12/2011 10:47:37 AM PST by UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide (REPEAL WASHINGTON! -- Islam Delenda Est! -- I Want Constantinople Back. -- Rumble thee forth.)
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To: John Semmens
I'd say Cain has a case ...

Only question now is how well Alred has her assets protected.

27 posted on 11/12/2011 10:48:11 AM PST by OldNavyVet (One trillion days, at 365 days per year, is 2,739,726,027 years ... almost 3 billion years)
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To: John Semmens
Then everyone is guilty.

Oh, hold on for a tick, it's you.

Still, isn't this pretty much what this reprehensible maggot said?

28 posted on 11/12/2011 10:49:41 AM PST by Lazamataz (Eat your neighbors, because no Federal help is coming.)
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To: John Semmens

That is so funny.


29 posted on 11/12/2011 10:51:03 AM PST by TribalPrincess2U (WE ARE AMERICA! DONATE TO FR MORE!)
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To: John Semmens

No fair using a clown like Allred for satire. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

Next, you’ll be using Joe Biden for satire.


30 posted on 11/12/2011 10:55:04 AM PST by Rocky (REPEAL IT!)
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To: OldNavyVet
Don't ever underestimate the enemy. All-Red carefully calculates every move she makes. If she takes a case, watch out. There is much trouble ahead yet for Cain. And in no way is Gloria All-Red in any danger of being sued.

You can bet her client has been covered by some very slick legal moves and is also well protected.

This may have gone quiet the last few days, but it is far from over. I say so because Gloria Alred is in it for a reason.

31 posted on 11/12/2011 10:57:36 AM PST by PSYCHO-FREEP (If you come to a fork in the road, take it........)
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To: Sacajaweau
After hearing him say "Princess Pelosi"...I'd say the sexual harrassment issues are much more probable than I thought.

You are kidding right? If that's considered sexual harassment, then our country is in bigger trouble than I thought! UGH - I do hope you were kidding!
32 posted on 11/12/2011 11:05:37 AM PST by jcsjcm (This country was built on exceptionalism and individualism. In God we Trust - Laus Deo)
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To: John Semmens

Very good.


33 posted on 11/12/2011 11:07:51 AM PST by Tench_Coxe
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To: John Semmens

Perhaps to rein in YOUR lying mouth Gloria? HMMM sounds like she may be a bit scared of defamation?


34 posted on 11/12/2011 11:09:19 AM PST by chris_bdba
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To: John Semmens

Gloria Allred’s parents must have been brother and sister, no way could a human being be THIS dumb


35 posted on 11/12/2011 11:11:35 AM PST by Sarah Barracuda
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To: John Semmens

Gloria Allred confessed that she likes being groped during airport pat downs.....she said something like: “she enjoyed being groped”!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcMpUi1fCHk


36 posted on 11/12/2011 11:12:08 AM PST by poinciana
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To: John Semmens

“Not only is the nation at risk of putting a sexual predator into the office of president,”


She had no problem with Bill Clinton, a rapist and sex pervert serve two terms in the White House


37 posted on 11/12/2011 11:12:59 AM PST by Sarah Barracuda
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Comment #38 Removed by Moderator

To: Sacajaweau

I agree; he had it all wrong. He should have called her your most high and exalted royal majesty queen Pelousy. OFF WITH HER HEAD.
And no, I didn’t misspell her name, she reminds me of a parasitic body louse.


39 posted on 11/12/2011 11:24:52 AM PST by 5th MEB (Progressives in the open; --- FIRE FOR EFFECT!!)
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To: John Semmens
Allred Says Cain Hiring a Lawyer Proves He’s Guilty

Small wonder she opts for settlements rather than arguing her case in a professional court.

40 posted on 11/12/2011 11:25:45 AM PST by Caipirabob ( Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: DejaJude

Before we talk about a sexual predator, let’s talk about this in detail. The Chicago Way: O’Grady may be the smoking gun for the Cain attacks. http://www.teapartytribune.com/2011/11/10/the-chicago-way-orady-may-be-smoking-gun-for-cain-attacksg/

Maybe Obama should step down or post a substantial bond until this is cleared up?


41 posted on 11/12/2011 11:28:30 AM PST by GilGil
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To: John Semmens

So, Bialek has Gloria. Would that mean Bialek is guilty? Huh, Gloria?


42 posted on 11/12/2011 11:30:30 AM PST by bgill (The Obama administration is staging a coup. Wake up, America, before it's too late.)
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To: chris_bdba

ooopppppssss missed the satire part.....


43 posted on 11/12/2011 11:32:00 AM PST by chris_bdba
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To: GilGil

Yeah. Like Jack Ryan did.


44 posted on 11/12/2011 11:35:45 AM PST by combat_boots (The Lion of Judah cometh. Hallelujah. Gloria Patri, Filio et Spiritui Sancto.)
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To: John Semmens

Clinton, Edwards hired lawyers...who else?

If that is Allred’s mentality- she should be banned from working in the US judicial system.


45 posted on 11/12/2011 11:36:13 AM PST by citizencon
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To: John Semmens
You got me this time (8^D). The line keeps getting thinner between fiction and reality. If you're innocent, you really need a lawyer!
46 posted on 11/12/2011 11:38:17 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: John Semmens

The fact that this bitch was retained proves her client has no basis for her claim and needs to protect herself from counter claims from her lying.


47 posted on 11/12/2011 11:43:32 AM PST by CodeToad (Islam needs to be banned in the US and treated as a criminal enterprise.)
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To: Sacajaweau

“As President, he would be her boss”

Are you trying to say the President is the “boss” of Congress?


48 posted on 11/12/2011 11:45:10 AM PST by CodeToad (Islam needs to be banned in the US and treated as a criminal enterprise.)
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To: John Semmens

Well Allred’s client hired an attorney, too. Does that mean she’s guilty? How stupid!


49 posted on 11/12/2011 11:46:07 AM PST by Paved Paradise
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To: PSYCHO-FREEP

Normally I would agree with you. But this is different. Gloria is used to the “hit and run.” Make the accusation and then fade into the woodwork. This time it’s different.

Mr. Cain is the first, to my knowledge, who has actually hired an attorney to push back. And it’s not some no-name from a local legal clinic. No, Cain has brought out the big gun, Lin Wood, who has a track record of making those who think they are immune from litigation, pay out big bucks for their big mouths.

Is it an effective strategy? Have you seen Sharon Bialek on the talk shows lately? Notice how Gloria has changed her tune from “Cain the attacker’ to “Cain must be guilty because he hired a lawyer.” A pretty big swing from someone who is outraged at his guilt.

You’re right, this isn’t over. If Cain continues to drop in popularity and ultimately drops out of the race, he will have demonstrated actual, measurable “harm” and since there is no corroboration of the accusation. It may be actionable.

Gloria is an officer of the court. She is bound by “ethics” just like any court officer. Her responsibility not only lies to her client, but also the system. She knew full well that if there had been a sexual assault on her client, the statute of limitations for prosecution had expired. She may have been able to file a civil case for her client either under DC law or Federal code. She chose to hold a presser.

She may find that Lyn Wood is just compiling a very long list of her activities, her penchant for running her clients in front of a camera rather than her filing suits in a timely manner and her proclivity to target high-profile REPUBLICANS (Whitman, Cain, et al.)

Even though she was the mouthpiece for the girl who accused Anthony Weiner, what was the resolution of the case? Did Allred file a sexual misconduct suit against Weiner on her client’s behalf? The pictures were, after all, unsolicited, sexual in nature, and designed for the sexual gratification of another. Did she advise the girl what her legal remedies were under the law? Or...did she use her clients position for her (Allred’s) personal benefit.

In other words, if the girl “hired” Allred and there existed an attorney-client relationship, what did the “client” receive to make her whole.

To paraphrase a famous Cuban band leader/philosopher “Gloria...you may have a lot of ‘splainin to do..”


50 posted on 11/12/2011 11:55:14 AM PST by offduty ("There are stupid people running this country" Herman Cain CPAC 2011)
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