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Allred Says Cain Hiring a Lawyer Proves Hes Guilty [SATIRE]
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 12 Nov 2011 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/12/2011 10:08:45 AM PST by John Semmens

Gloria Allred, the lawyer retained by Cain accuser Sharon Bialek, slammed presidential candidate Herman Cain for retaining attorney Lin Wood to help him defend against the sexual harassment accusations that have been launched against him. Wood is considered a top notch expert in defamation of character cases and gained great notoriety for his efforts in clearing the name of Richard Jewel, the man who was falsely accused of bombing the Atlanta Olympics in 1996.

“If he’s innocent why does he need a lawyer?” Allred demanded to know. “Truth is the defense of the innocent. Only the guilty need an attorney to make their case. I think people will find this latest twist highly suspicious.”

To delve into this suspicious behavior, Allred suggested that Congress subpoena Cain to testify before a House or Senate Committee. “Not only is the nation at risk of putting a sexual predator into the office of president, but it has become clear that substantial reforms need to be enacted,” Allred insisted.

Among Allred’s proffered reforms would be provisions aimed at protecting women from having to expose themselves to potential retaliation for leveling harassment accusations. “A woman should be allowed to remain anonymous throughout the whole process,” Allred argued. “Being identified as an accuser can wreck a woman’s future employment opportunities. Any needed communications can go through her lawyer.”

“A further measure to reduce potential retaliation would be to require the accused to step down until he can prove that no woman has ever felt intimidated by his actions in the workplace,” Allred said. “Or he could post a substantial bond that would be forfeited if any additional accusations were made prior to the full settlement of ones that have already been levied.”

In related news, NBC talking head David Gregory rued the lack of a “Grand Wizard” in the Republican Party who could order Cain to step down. “Democrats don’t have this kind of shortcoming,” Gregory maintained. “I mean, after Ted Kennedy killed that girl he was forced to put his presidential ambitions on hold for 10 years. That was real leadership, not the anarchy we’re seeing from the Republicans in this current flap.”

read more...

http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/11/12/allred-says-cain-hiring-a-lawyer-proves-he%e2%80%99s-guilty/


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: cain; democrats; gloriaallred; harassment; hermancain; satire
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To: Sacajaweau
"As President, he would be her boss ... "

He would be her boss? You really need to read the Constitution and have someone who understands English go through it with you. The President is the head of the Executive Branch, see if you can figure it out from there.

21 posted on 11/12/2011 10:35:50 AM PST by Rashputin (Obama stark, raving, mad, and even his security people know it.)
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To: John Semmens

Using her own logic, every client who hires her as his/her defense attorney is guilty...no?


22 posted on 11/12/2011 10:36:16 AM PST by jra
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To: Sacajaweau
"After hearing him say "Princess Pelosi"...I'd say the sexual harrassment issues are much more probable than I thought."

At least he didn't call her

PELOSI GALORE like I have for years.

23 posted on 11/12/2011 10:37:28 AM PST by Spunky (Sarah Palin on Polls "Poles are for Strippers and Cross Country Skiers")
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To: Sacajaweau

Seeing you posting history, it does not surprise me that you will not hesitate to smear one more conservative, along with the liberal gutter trawling bottom feeding smear merchants.


24 posted on 11/12/2011 10:43:32 AM PST by Moorings
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To: John Semmens

Cain hired a lawyer that specializes in “defamation of character cases.” Mr. Cain is getting ready to sue some bottom feeding scum.


25 posted on 11/12/2011 10:43:55 AM PST by cpdiii (Deckhand, Roughneck, Mud Man, Geologist, Pilot, Pharmacist. THE CONSTITUTION IS WORTH DYING FOR!)
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To: John Semmens

I think I could write better, sharper, satire.

But it is about right.


26 posted on 11/12/2011 10:47:37 AM PST by UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide (REPEAL WASHINGTON! -- Islam Delenda Est! -- I Want Constantinople Back. -- Rumble thee forth.)
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To: John Semmens
I'd say Cain has a case ...

Only question now is how well Alred has her assets protected.

27 posted on 11/12/2011 10:48:11 AM PST by OldNavyVet (One trillion days, at 365 days per year, is 2,739,726,027 years ... almost 3 billion years)
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To: John Semmens
Then everyone is guilty.

Oh, hold on for a tick, it's you.

Still, isn't this pretty much what this reprehensible maggot said?

28 posted on 11/12/2011 10:49:41 AM PST by Lazamataz (Eat your neighbors, because no Federal help is coming.)
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To: John Semmens

That is so funny.


29 posted on 11/12/2011 10:51:03 AM PST by TribalPrincess2U (WE ARE AMERICA! DONATE TO FR MORE!)
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To: John Semmens

No fair using a clown like Allred for satire. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

Next, you’ll be using Joe Biden for satire.


30 posted on 11/12/2011 10:55:04 AM PST by Rocky (REPEAL IT!)
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To: OldNavyVet
Don't ever underestimate the enemy. All-Red carefully calculates every move she makes. If she takes a case, watch out. There is much trouble ahead yet for Cain. And in no way is Gloria All-Red in any danger of being sued.

You can bet her client has been covered by some very slick legal moves and is also well protected.

This may have gone quiet the last few days, but it is far from over. I say so because Gloria Alred is in it for a reason.

31 posted on 11/12/2011 10:57:36 AM PST by PSYCHO-FREEP (If you come to a fork in the road, take it........)
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To: Sacajaweau
After hearing him say "Princess Pelosi"...I'd say the sexual harrassment issues are much more probable than I thought.

You are kidding right? If that's considered sexual harassment, then our country is in bigger trouble than I thought! UGH - I do hope you were kidding!
32 posted on 11/12/2011 11:05:37 AM PST by jcsjcm (This country was built on exceptionalism and individualism. In God we Trust - Laus Deo)
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To: John Semmens

Very good.


33 posted on 11/12/2011 11:07:51 AM PST by Tench_Coxe
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To: John Semmens

Perhaps to rein in YOUR lying mouth Gloria? HMMM sounds like she may be a bit scared of defamation?


34 posted on 11/12/2011 11:09:19 AM PST by chris_bdba
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To: John Semmens

Gloria Allred’s parents must have been brother and sister, no way could a human being be THIS dumb


35 posted on 11/12/2011 11:11:35 AM PST by Sarah Barracuda
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To: John Semmens

Gloria Allred confessed that she likes being groped during airport pat downs.....she said something like: “she enjoyed being groped”!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcMpUi1fCHk


36 posted on 11/12/2011 11:12:08 AM PST by poinciana
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To: John Semmens

“Not only is the nation at risk of putting a sexual predator into the office of president,”


She had no problem with Bill Clinton, a rapist and sex pervert serve two terms in the White House


37 posted on 11/12/2011 11:12:59 AM PST by Sarah Barracuda
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Comment #38 Removed by Moderator

To: Sacajaweau

I agree; he had it all wrong. He should have called her your most high and exalted royal majesty queen Pelousy. OFF WITH HER HEAD.
And no, I didn’t misspell her name, she reminds me of a parasitic body louse.


39 posted on 11/12/2011 11:24:52 AM PST by 5th MEB (Progressives in the open; --- FIRE FOR EFFECT!!)
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To: John Semmens
Allred Says Cain Hiring a Lawyer Proves He’s Guilty

Small wonder she opts for settlements rather than arguing her case in a professional court.

40 posted on 11/12/2011 11:25:45 AM PST by Caipirabob ( Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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