Posted on 06/09/2012 1:12:34 AM PDT by John Semmens
Vice-President Joe Biden told the graduating seniors of Cypress Bay High School (Fla.) that “it’s long past the time when Americans should be shifting away from traditional farming as a means of supplying food.”
“Let’s face it, farming is unnatural,” Biden pointed out. “Using sharp tools to cut into the earth, planting seeds in neat rows for efficient reaping (also done with sharp tools, I might add), piping in water from far away—these are all artificial methods that rape the land.”
Biden argued that “in a more primitive era such methods may have been unavoidable. But do we really need them today? Why can’t everyone just get their food from the supermarket? Jill and I have been doing that for as long as I can remember. Most of the stuff comes in boxes and cans. It’s all very clean. You don’t have to poke tools into the soil stirring up dust and polluting the air. If we can only convince more people to follow our example the environmental degradation being caused by farmers could be greatly reduced.”
The vice-president also hailed the doubling of the amount the government has spent on food stamps since 2008 as “further proof that there are other ways to feed our population without destroying the land.”
In support of Biden’s vision, the Environmental Protection Agency is deploying aerial drones to fly over agricultural areas “to gather evidence on those raping the land with these primitive farming techniques.” EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson declined to specify whether this evidence would be used to support prosecution of violators or whether the President would use it to select targets for drone-launched missile strikes. “I believe the President will choose the most appropriate enforcement mechanism on a case-by-case basis,” Jackson said.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2012/06/09/president-says-private-sector-is-doing-fine/
ping
Oh Geez John...THAT’s Biden! Good one.
Dang! Simi almost got me again. When the truth and satire meld so well ya gotta wonder.
You’ll get plenty of hate for this one.
Unbelievable!
But I could almost believe it if attributed to Biden!
Blessings, Bobo
The second in command, FRIGHTENING!
He has already experimented to prove they can be grown without fertilizer. He just talks to them 5 minutes a day.
Three paragraphs before I looked at the source! You got me again! Arrrrrrrggggghhhh!
How the hell did these people ever get into positions of power ? what an IDIOT !
Ha, ha! Got me John. I can imagine Biden saying these things though.
It got me thinking, why should I even have to work any longer? I can just go to the bank to get money.
Well Alice I’ve been had again BANG ZOOM !
He grew his hair plugs in a petri dish.
Actually, I thought Biden would be greatly in favor of traditional farming without use of job-killing technology such as tractors and other mechanical devices. Think how many people would be employed! But for those evil tractors, we’d have full employment now!
“...these are all artificial methods that rape the land.”
Since time immemorial men have farmed to “be close to the land”. Indeed, during the 60’s hippies young and old rejected industrialized jobs for “being close to the land”. And now we learn that farming is rape. I wonder what Evil end is served by calling farming ‘rape’. Guess we’ll find out...
“...these are all artificial methods that rape the land.”
Since time immemorial men have farmed to “be close to the land”. Indeed, during the 60’s hippies young and old rejected industrialized jobs for “being close to the land”. And now we learn that farming is rape. I wonder what Evil end is served by calling farming ‘rape’. Guess we’ll find out...
Ah Satire. News, Satire guess it’s all the same...lately...
I have seen flowers grow without soil, without fertilizer, but never without water.
Thanks John - takes me back to when Dims were asked to sign, and did sign, a petition against Di-Hydrogen Mon-Oxide because of its pervasive nature...
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