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Ancient Text Reveals False Gospel
Associated Posers ^ | 2-26-2012 | geonl

Posted on 09/25/2012 11:44:40 PM PDT by GeronL

(Associated Posers) - CAIRO, Egypt - Egyptian Minister of Antiquities, Zahi Hawass, revealed this morning an ancient shred of papyrus. He announced that for the past 6 months this scrap of papyrus has been studied by some of the leading archaeologists.

"Due to the controversial nature of the contents, we have been extremely meticulous and we have documented everything" Zahi Hawass said at the press conference held near his office "The paper, the ink and even the writing all point to the same result"

Less than a week after another scrap of ancient text was falsely said to have mentioned a wife of Jesus, the authorities are being extra careful. Sources indicated a great debate had taken place behind the scenes of the Egyptian Antiquities Ministry about delaying the announcement because of the hoax.

Zahi Hawass continued "This ancient scrap of manuscript dates back to around the year 1965 AD. This is what we believe the text actually says..."

“By…[1975] some experts feel that food shortages will have escalated the present level of world hunger and starvation into famines of unbelievable proportions. Other experts, more optimistic, think the ultimate food-population collision will not occur until the decade of the 1980s.”
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

Zahi Hawass explained the significance of this find. "The Prophet Paul is known to have made many prophecies for a small sect, not well known in history, that we call the Cult of Menda City. They had many such prophets and the Prophet Paul was one of the greater of these."

Asked what happened to the Cult of Menda City Zahi Hawass tried to evade the question before answering "It was one of many Earth worshipping cults, they come and go but the never really go away, no matter how often their leaders are wrong. Once upon a time there was the Prophet Paul, who begot the Prophet Watts who begot the Prophet Ted Danson who begot the Prophet Al... after that we lose track and they sort of fade"

Asked if this cult had been consistent on any part of their theology and Zahi Hawass answered with a resounding "Yes". Then he explained.

"They were known as doomsayers. They said the sky was falling and begged the people of the villages to give them coin and treasure to save the world. Later they foretold great tidal waves and floods and swarms of locusts. After every drought and infestation they would point and exclaim: See! It is the end of the world, you must empower and enrich us to save you all" Zahi Hawass then pauses with a laugh and finishes "They once claimed the oceans would die, or the Earth would freeze and then that the Earth would get too hot. Always something extreme. Always the same solution even when the problem was vastly different: Give us power and control and wealth"

In conclusion Zahi Hawass said that while those who sought fortune and power by doomsaying would always be with us as long as there were simple-minded people who would believe it, that they were and are nothing more than con artists. So in the end it is a scrap of papyrus from long ago that was an attempt to scaremonger people into giving up their fortune and liberty.



TOPICS: History; Humor; Religion; Science
KEYWORDS: deathtoislam; epigraphyandlanguage; faithandphilosophy; forgery; gnosticgospels; godsgravesglyphs; gospelofbarnabas; gospelofjohn; jamescameron; johnchapter2; karenking; letshavejerusalem; marriageatcana; marymagdalene; simchajacobovici; talpiot; turkey
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Yet another controversy
1 posted on 09/25/2012 11:44:47 PM PDT by GeronL
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To: Vendome; StrictConstructionist; American Constitutionalist; KittenClaws; SunkenCiv; Morgana; ...

bump


2 posted on 09/25/2012 11:46:27 PM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL

For over 2k years, we’ve had cults. The sad thing now is that we have experts who study them as a life profession. It’s a colossal waste of time and man-power.


3 posted on 09/25/2012 11:50:53 PM PDT by pepsionice
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To: Gil4; exit82; aquila48; jmax; barmag25; cripplecreek; ShadowAce; usconservative; BenLurkin; ...

bump


4 posted on 09/25/2012 11:53:21 PM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL

You almost got me ALmost “it was that close”


5 posted on 09/26/2012 12:02:57 AM PDT by ATOMIC_PUNK (Any man may make a mistake ; none but a fool will persist in it . { Latin proverb })
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To: GeronL

What’s that last line: daed si luap?


6 posted on 09/26/2012 12:10:23 AM PDT by Born to Conserve
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To: GeronL

Does this mean the Doomsayers are doomed or the Prophets profit?


7 posted on 09/26/2012 12:12:22 AM PDT by brightright
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To: pepsionice

“It’s a colossal waste of time and man-power.”

It’s worse. Obama has blessed us with a science Czar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZCoXyQ-vks


8 posted on 09/26/2012 12:21:40 AM PDT by haroldeveryman
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To: GeronL

In studying the text further, it reveals this cult to be the one that evolves in to the modern day democrats, whose leader, Al-Obayma Hussein, nearly causes WWIII in the area of the world known as Egypt.


9 posted on 09/26/2012 12:26:20 AM PDT by exnavy (The time is upon us, fish or cut bait, may God guide your heart.)
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To: GeronL

This is a satire... though anything Hawass is involved with might as well be a joke as he is a distorter.


10 posted on 09/26/2012 12:28:11 AM PDT by Republican1795.
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To: GeronL

Cult of Menda City?

ROTFLOL! Very, very good.


11 posted on 09/26/2012 12:29:49 AM PDT by Jemian
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To: ATOMIC_PUNK

lol.

I thought it would only take until 1965 is ancient. lol


12 posted on 09/26/2012 12:31:55 AM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Republican1795.

bump

He was/is an Art Bell type of guy


13 posted on 09/26/2012 12:32:46 AM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: exnavy

Looks like it to me!

Where is that Magic 8 ball


14 posted on 09/26/2012 12:33:19 AM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Jemian

I knew a FReeper would get that part


15 posted on 09/26/2012 12:33:49 AM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL

The book of mormon ???


16 posted on 09/26/2012 1:02:00 AM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: GeronL

It’s a theory...


17 posted on 09/26/2012 1:20:45 AM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: GeronL

Dang! I thought I was the only one that got it....

Freeperz iz Kewel...


18 posted on 09/26/2012 1:26:50 AM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: GeronL

Another controversy...aka....send Grant Money


19 posted on 09/26/2012 2:39:17 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: Sacajaweau

None of the apostles were paid money to prevent disasters. Knew it was bs when I saw that. And the Menda reference. It’s easy to mislead and fool people when they don’t even read or know what’s in the bible. That’s the reason non-Christians and arbiters immediately bit when they thought they had an “aha” moment when they thought Christ had married and fornicated and was merely a man despite his resurrection and miracles and the foretelling of his appearance on earth by earlier biblical prophets not to mention hs ascension to Heaven after 40 days on earth after his crucifixion. What people that not read the bible don’t realize is that he considered and referred to the church as his “bride” in several places throughout the bible.


20 posted on 09/26/2012 3:31:03 AM PDT by jsanders2001
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