Posted on 09/26/2012 7:36:53 PM PDT by GeronL
(Associated Posers) – Savannah, Georgia – The shocking images broadcast around the world of hungry children being fed a bare subsistence diet is mobilizing the world to render aid. United Nations food trucks have begun arriving to avert an international disaster. Donor countries include China, which has furnished 500 tons of rice aboard a vessel en route to San Diego.
Supplemental food aid from Canada, including wheat, are being flown in. A line of UN-marked planes line the tarmac of Savannah-Hilton Head International Airport.
“Shockingly some of these schools cannot serve more than 350-400 calories” said one nutritionist from the Children's Fund International “This is a crisis of the first order. Something must be done to keep the United States from falling to third world status. If that happens, then poorer nations are going to be in dire straits”.
The new menu's were devised at the direction of First Lady Michelle Obama with an eye toward strict calorie intake limits. The austerity diet is to be enforced at all US public schools eventually. The limited caloric intake does not affect her diet though, tonight's campaign fundraising dinner is a meal of lobster and cocktails.
A severe drought and a government policy that puts 40% of the corn crop into gas tanks has caused cow and pig herds to be culled, setting up another catastrophe for next year. “We can see it coming but it would take a much bigger crisis to get these politicians to drop the ethanol policy” said one source within the USDA “It is disheartening to witness government policies doing this to my country”.
“These food deliveries are meant to supplement the falling caloric intake. The kids are hungry, the food they have been given is second rate and unpalatable because of the drought and government policies. This has never happened in their life times and it must be quite a shock” said an official with the Savannah Independent School District “The fall from a prosperous first world nation to one where children don't get enough to eat is never pretty”
Across the world there are many countries where the images of meager school lunches might not seem so bad, but they miss the point. If the US goes down, who becomes the breadbasket that can feed the poorer countries?
“I'm hungry” said Angela Polly, 8, after eating a meager meal of hummus and black bean salad “I don't want to go to P.E. (Physical Education), I don't have the energy”. Many other children and parents agree. Dharma Polly, Angela's mother, said “If something does not change soon, I'm afraid for this country and the future”.
“Americans are not used to this, they have become soft as a super power” said a UN official “The sight of UN trucks delivering food to children will be seen as a national failure, many will feel like they have personally failed. This is natural.”
bump
yes, because the best satire is the satire you think is real ;)
These days, anything is possible.
A Hummus diet would not just weaken me physically, I would need treatment for depression as well.
The projected worldwide bacon shortage is a source of great anxiety, brightened only by the advent of feral porcines here in the midwest.
Perhaps my neighbors and I can run a herd of them off a cliff, and provide bacon to a hungry nation. I believe it’s Scriptural.
” Something must be done to keep the United States from falling to third world status “ I do believe Watson that we have already arrived at that point.
These days, anything is possible.
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Amen!
Thanks for another, GeronL. We’re are going to need crutches around here because of having our leg pulled so much. :p
Had to double check the source as I was reading. It was immediately clear. Unfortunately there is too much truth in this satire. Makes me weep for my country
It is sad that this government has made it too easy by doing 90% the job for us.
LOL
LOL
Almost had me....
Thanx for the ping...
Today’s satire is tomorrow’s headline!
Hey, when China is still receiving Foreign Aid from the US...it would not really surprise me if the US ended up getting some UN food aid. My cynicism almost got the better of me ‘-)
Run into the beltway and fill the porkers with demons first. That would straight up be scriptual.
But, as with all corrupt governments, it’s the government fat-cats who will receive the food and distribute it to...themselves.
That is very likely, just like North Korea and others.
You had me going until “Chinese rice.” still a great piece of satire!!
You had me going until “Chinese rice.” still a great piece of satire!!
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