Posted on 12/06/2012 1:45:14 PM PST by Reaganite Republican
*** PING ***
STOP IT!
*rimshot*
~Blonde Girl getting popcorn~
Badda pisshhh
‘STOP IT!’
______________________________
I can’t
What’s the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
Answer: you can dump a load in a washing machine on a Friday night and it won’t call you all weekend!
thanks, I’ll be here all week
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
A: A toilet won’t keep bothering you after you’re done using it.
A: Artificial Intelligence.
"Are you a pole vaulter?"
"No, and how did you know my name was Walter?"
Q: What do you call five blondes standing in a row?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call five blondes standing in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
A man comes into a bar and says to the bartender, “Want to hear a good blonde joke?”
“I’d be careful if I were you, buster,” replies the bartender.
“Why?”
“Well, you see those two guys over at that table? One of them weighs 250 pounds and the other weighs 275, and they’re both blonde. And in case you didn’t notice, I’m blonde, too.”
“Well, OK then,” says the customer. “I won’t tell it. Besides, none of you would understand it, anyway.”
"MickeyMinniePlutoLouieDeweyDonaldGoffySacramento."
When asked why she had such a long password, the blonde rolled her eyes and said:
"Hello, It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."
Why the blonde returned her M&M’s?
(Cuz she complained half were marked W-W’s)
Two blondes applied for Police Academy.
The officer interviewing them called in the 1st blonde.
She was shown picture of a suspect for 10sec. The officer then asked her to describe the suspect.
She said “He was tall, bald and had only one ear.”
The officer shook his head and said “Lady that was a side view mug shot, of course you see only 1 ear”. He dismissed her. Then he called the 2nd blonde in.
Same mug shot was shown. Same question...describe the suspect.
She says “He was tall, bald and was wearing contacts”
The officer looks at the rap sheet and sure enough the suspect was known to wear contacts.
He says “that was brilliant, how did you figure that out?”
She says “Duh.....that was simple...how can he wear glasses with only 1 ear???”
Q: What did the blond say when she woke up under the milk-cow?
A: “ Are you four guys still here?”
The brunette said, "Well, I guess I'm going to have a little girl because I was on the bottom."
The blonde became obviously saddened and looked down as she began to weep. The other two ladies tried to comfort her and asked, "What's the matter sweetie?"
Between her sobs, the blonde said, "I think I'm going to have puppies."
LOL!
Blonde mortician
A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please
have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
‘There’s no charge,’ she says.
‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.
‘Honestly, ma’am,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if
she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’
‘So I just switched the heads.’
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