Posted on 03/31/2014 10:53:34 PM PDT by servo1969
the real story beats an athiests piece of drivel.
CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!
BRAVOOOOO! BEST movie review, ever.
I thank you, my dog thanks you,
every life-form in my house thanks you.
Yet, it topped the box office.
That’s a fun review, but he’s wrong about one thing. “Noah” goes over the falls this weekend. It’s a one week wonder. It’s going to be a money loser in the end.
There was nothing brilliant about it. Paramount had no idea the movie would be this dreadful. Anonofsky has been exposed for the fraud he is. Ultimately, everyone loses on this one.
That was one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time.
Thank you for posting it - in full. I’m sure a lot of other FReepers will enjoy reading it as well.
White House Down, A Good Day to Die Hard and Red Dawn(the remake) had some great action scenes. I’ll give them a 5 stars for that alone;)
No competition.
I believe it was Mencken who said something to the effect that ‘no one ever lost money or political office by underestimating the taste of the American people.’ (Loose paraphrase)
“No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have searched the record for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.”
How about this one ...
“The bitter, of course, goes with the sweet. To be an American is, unquestionably, to be the noblest, grandest, the proudest mammal that ever hoofed the verdure of God’s green footstool. Often, in the black abysm of the night, the thought that I am one awakens me with a blast of trumpets, and I am thrown into a cold sweat by contemplation of the fact. I shall cherish it on the scaffold; it will console me in Hell. But there is no perfection under Heaven, so even an American has his small blemishes, his scarcely discernible weaknesses, his minute traces of vice and depravity.”
And no one has ever lost a bet based on my proclivity for taking liberties with quotations.
Where is our generation’s John Ford?
Well, I “WAS” going to this 8mm “epic” but, Natch...
If it’s, as the director explained, the least biblical movie...ever, then I’ll stack it like cord wood and another idiotic marketing gimmick that says “FAIL” all over it “Cesar Chavez”.
I learned nothing from that film, which was plodding and pedantic.
Oh, the details of the man. The wonders of “his” struggle.
Somehow, the movie failed to inform the uninformed and served only as what will surely be a new annual “must see” for the cause, erh LaRaza...which Chavez compared to Hitler on the order of “Today they are against the whites, tomorrow they will be against the blacks”, which of course they are.
If Noah doesn’t inform the uninformed and inspire “those in the know” or at least become something more than a used tissue, never to be seen again, then why make the movie?
The real money is to get the thing played over and over again, for the residuals.
How else are you going to retire and just keep collecting those checks hear after year?
Seems to me, from the reviews, this “Water World” Part Duex.
Mr. Gladiator will continue to receive huge residual checks for the movie which cemented his star on Holkywood but, I doubt he’ll see much of anything, ever again for a movie that swamped itself and ran into the shoals, deliberately.
Fortunately, unlike a certain actor who staked his entire career earnings on a dumpy film, which took him years to recover from, Gladiator man had the sense to show up all manly and such, making a nice payday, without risking his fortune on a shipwreck.
That was a funny and telling review.
Seems like one would feel they had been taken advantage of and been poorer for the experience.
I had intended on seeing this barge reef but, I probably have something else to do.
I’m looking forward to seeing the movie for what it is. Entertainment.
Why on earth would you ever go to a Hollywood movie otherwise? Did you think you were going to discover something new about the Story of Noah?
It’s got a 6.8 movie rating on IMDB, so that’s slightly higher than mediocre. And it grossed 48M so definitely drew alot of interest.
I never listened to Siskell and Ebert, so I’m darn sure not going to listen to you.
People who want learn things about the Bible, I suggest Church and not a Hollywood popcorn epic.
Excellent review.
Sounds like this movie royally flips God the bird.
No thanks.
This is a very good and funny review.
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