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Cost to House Influx of Illegals Stuns Senators
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 July 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 07/20/2014 1:00:04 PM PDT by John Semmens

In testimony before the Senate Budget Committee, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson shocked senators of both parties when he disclosed that it costs between $250 and $1,000 per day per person to house the illegal immigrants that have been surging across our border with Mexico.

"There was an audible gasp, a bipartisan gasp," Senator Marco Rubio (R., Fla.) recounted. "I could take a luxurious Caribbean cruise every day of the year for a lower total cost. I cannot fathom why the spartan accommodations we are providing for these people should cost so much."

Senate Budget Committee chairwoman Patty Murray (D-Wash) questioned the applicability of Rubio's luxury cruise comparison. "While the amount may appear excessive to the untrained observer I'm sure there are unseen factors that we just don't realize," Murray presumed. "If Senator Rubio takes a cruise he makes all his own arrangements and may exert some judgment over whether the expenses are worth it. No such latitude is available for these refugees. Housing them is official government business entailing multiple layers of authority and decision making. Who are we to second guess what they do?"

Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-WV) was one of the few that weren't shocked by the expense. "We pay upwards of $50,000 per year for each prison inmate," he pointed out. "Let's face it, government housing is expensive."

Housing prisoners at $50,000 per inmate per year comes to around $140 per day—far lower than DHS's estimate for housing the immigrants. "You've got to remember that the budgets for prisons aren't arrived at in a panic situation," Johnson said. "There's time to reflect on what might be the most cost-effective methods. The urgency of the immigration crisis eliminates the opportunity to pursue issues of efficiency. It's Congress's duty to appropriate whatever amount the President has requested to handle this emergency."

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi suggested that "the high cost of housing these immigrants could be averted if we make use of the vast inventory of unused housing that exists in this country. How many American families have more room than they need? Can't some of this space be made available on an emergency basis?"

Pelosi said she was unsure of how to make unused housing available but speculated that "President Obama could issue an Executive Order compelling home owners to provide access to their excess capacity. We could look at a home's square footage and number of rooms, compare that to census data on who currently lives there and make a determination of which homes can take in some of the refugees."

The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees concurred in Pelosi's assessment noting that "the typical American family has far more living room than the refugees that need to be accommodated. Simple equity demands that this excess be shared among these less fortunate people."

In related news, the New York City Council announced it is prepared to grant citizenship to up to 500,000 illegal immigrants. Mayor Bill de Blasio called the passage of this ordinance "a proud day for our City. While Congress may be too indifferent to act in this time of emergency I'm pleased to see that New Yorkers have stepped in to fill the void. And with the documents we will be giving these immigrants there will be nothing to stop them from enjoying the full fruits of living in America no matter where they choose to go."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/159834-2014-07-20-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-july-20-2014.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: housing; illegals; satire; waste
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1 posted on 07/20/2014 1:00:05 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 07/20/2014 1:01:03 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

It didn’t stun them enough to get any action


3 posted on 07/20/2014 1:03:56 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: John Semmens

Maybe some big spender could buy enough stun guns to properly stun the government.


4 posted on 07/20/2014 1:04:37 PM PDT by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: John Semmens; MeshugeMikey

Get those pro-illegal demonstrators and put “We are the 1%!” on their signs. lol


5 posted on 07/20/2014 1:04:40 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: GeronL

pictures of

^


6 posted on 07/20/2014 1:05:01 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: John Semmens

I knew this was satire from the title.

No senator is ever stunned by the cost of anything.


7 posted on 07/20/2014 1:05:07 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin.)
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To: John Semmens

OMG!

Now I know why Patty Murray is called STUPID!


8 posted on 07/20/2014 1:06:31 PM PDT by Aria ( 2008 & 2012 weren't elections - they were coup d'etats.)
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To: John Semmens

LOL - I didn’t see that it was satire until just now.
Although - how far from the truth can it be?


9 posted on 07/20/2014 1:08:48 PM PDT by Aria ( 2008 & 2012 weren't elections - they were coup d'etats.)
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To: John Semmens
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi suggested that "the high cost of housing these immigrants could be averted if we make use of the vast inventory of unused housing that exists in this country. How many American families have more room than they need? Can't some of this space be made available on an emergency basis?"

I know this is satire, but I wouldn't put it past Stretch. Not that she ever heard of the The Quartering Act of May 15, 1765...

10 posted on 07/20/2014 1:09:37 PM PDT by COBOL2Java (I'm a Christian, pro-life, pro-gun, Reaganite. The GOP hates me. Why should I vote for them?)
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To: John Semmens; Liz
"There was an audible gasp, a bipartisan gasp," Senator Marco Rubio (R., Fla.) recounted. "I could take a luxurious Caribbean cruise every day of the year for a lower total cost. I cannot fathom why the spartan accommodations we are providing for these people should cost so much."

It would be cheaper to ship them back to their countries of origin ... in First Class!!!

Life inside the beltway might just as well be life at Disney World. These politicians are clueless about the ramifications of big government.

11 posted on 07/20/2014 1:10:32 PM PDT by NYer ("Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." --Jeremiah 1:5)
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To: John Semmens

I wonder who will get the contract for the Illegal Alien ObamaSmartPhone gig. They are each going to need their own smart phone subsidized by the U.S. taxpayers.


12 posted on 07/20/2014 1:11:10 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (The future must not belong to those who slander bacon.)
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To: John Semmens
and to think we could send all their wretched azzes home via 1st Class Air for ~$10,000,000

13 posted on 07/20/2014 1:14:21 PM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -vvv- NO Pity for the LAZY - 86-44)
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To: John Semmens
Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-WV) was one of the few that weren't shocked by the expense.
"We pay upwards of $50,000 per year for each prison inmate,"

So that justifies paying 350k PLUS, for illegals who do not belong in our country?
Elected doesn't mean they get smarter.

Also he is actually comparing illegals to Prisoners, and he unintentionally got that right!
Even so, one right does not make up for the Law breaking and 99% of crime the Dems are doing.

14 posted on 07/20/2014 1:14:39 PM PDT by MaxMax (Pay Attention and you'll be pissed off too! FIRE BOEHNER, NOW!)
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To: John Semmens
In related news, the New York City Council announced it is prepared to grant citizenship to up to 500,000 illegal immigrants.

The clowns in New Yawk City really showed their intelligence when they elected this commie nut. I know this is satire but King Billy of Blasio's idea of giving each invader their own U.S. I.D. card is doing exactly this.

15 posted on 07/20/2014 1:16:32 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (The future must not belong to those who slander bacon.)
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To: MaxMax

In other words, throwing them all in prison would save a lot of money.


16 posted on 07/20/2014 1:16:35 PM PDT by GeronL (Vote for Conservatives not for Republicans)
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To: GeronL
Their own Prisons in their own countries of origin.
We give them enough money to take care of their own.
17 posted on 07/20/2014 1:25:26 PM PDT by MaxMax (Pay Attention and you'll be pissed off too! FIRE BOEHNER, NOW!)
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To: John Semmens

Harry Reid lives at the Ritz Carleton in DC. Perhaps he could take in a few?


18 posted on 07/20/2014 1:31:26 PM PDT by albie
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To: John Semmens

19 posted on 07/20/2014 1:32:45 PM PDT by GrandJediMasterYoda (Hitlery: Incarnation of evil.)
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To: John Semmens

The Senate is full of idiots. How could you not predict that bussing in thousands of people would not be cheap?


20 posted on 07/20/2014 1:33:27 PM PDT by Politicalkiddo (You cannot protect a child from child abuse by aborting it. Abortion *is* child abuse.)
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