"Pardon."
Posted on 09/28/2014 9:57:26 AM PDT by John Semmens
Eric Holder announced that he is stepping down as the nation’s Attorney General. The ingratitude of the American people and the constant criticisms of Republicans were cited as compelling reasons for quitting.
“Though I’ve done more than any previous Attorney General to reshape the way our laws are enforced I am badgered by contentions that I have veered too far outside the legitimate bounds of my authority,” Holder groused. “History will show that these bounds were too narrow if true justice is to be obtained. Nevertheless, as important as this crusade for people’s justice remains, I am exhausted.”
Representative Darrel Issa (R-Calif) dismissed Holder’s complaints as “a diversion. Holder has clearly been the worst AG this nation has ever had. There is no doubt in my mind that he has been intimately involved in a variety of DOJ misdeeds and cover-ups. Had he stayed on it was just a matter of time before he’d have been compelled to testify or, like so many of his co-conspirators, take the 5th to avoid doing so.”
Racial justice expert Al Sharpton says that “while I regret that this great civil servant has been forced from office for trying to do the right thing, I will work with President Obama to select the best replacement possible.”
One potential person Sharpton said he is considering recommending is actor Jamie Foxx. “Those who saw him in Django Unchained know that he will be an uncompromising enforcer of both the written and unwritten laws the President is trying to give to America,” Sharpton declared. “He would strike fear into racists everywhere. They would know that he wouldn’t hesitate to take direct action to bring them down, that the days of white officers gunning down black men are over. We’ll see how they like it when the tables are turned.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2014/09/27/school-board-to-add-masturbation-to-kindergarten-curriculum/
"Pardon."
His record of bringing lawsuits against the states and Joe Arpaio is going to stand forever. That’s his “legacy”.
The Bobbsey twins — of Constitution Avenue
Barry and Holder making farting sounds for their 'RAT followers.
You used to write satire disguised as truth. Now you write truth and claim it's satire.
The Jamie Fox thing is made up, right?
I’m a racist ingrate!
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