"EBT Card, don't leave town without it!"
Posted on 01/04/2015 8:21:46 AM PST by John Semmens
Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton (D) is pushing for a law that would ban football game kick-offs before noon.
“The early start times are really unfair to the poor and minorities, many of whom are still in bed at that hour,” Dayton claimed. “These start times may be okay for people who are used to getting up early to go to work, but they are out of sync with other lifestyles.”
Setting a time more accommodating to these “other lifestyles” is important because “watching TV is a much bigger part of the lives of those on public assistance. They shouldn’t be forced to rouse themselves in order to see these games. Legislation prohibiting morning kick-offs is a simple matter of social justice.”
The Governor is also touting a companion bill that would boost funding to enable more public housing units to be equipped with large-screen “smart TVs.” “The older model TVs that many of our poorest citizens must watch offer an inferior viewing experience,” Dayton pointed out. “This violates their human rights. TV watching should not reflect a caste system where those who can afford it can obtain more than those who can’t.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2015/01/03/obama-calls-for-truce-in-fight-against-isil/
LOL! This is a good idea! Dem po folks are being “disenfranchised” by the MFL. They pay 380 bucks for an official MFL jersey with their favorite player’s name on the back and don’t get to watch the games because they start too early.
Beautiful. Thanks for posting!
What part is satire? I assume the guvanor said something about football games starting later. Am I close?
(Satire isn’t as much fun as it used to be because everything sincerely stated by the left is satirical to logical thinking folks.)
Dude,
I think I’m gonna call my state Representative. Actually there oughta be a federal law, why not.
That way, the game starts at 12:30, it gives people plenty of time to have a tailgate party or in most cases time to party a little in front of the TV...
Then when their team gets totally humiliated by the former conference doormat it’s easier to laugh than to cry.
Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything like that...
/s
When Al Franken is your Senator this could be true.
Minnesota, the only state not voting for RR in 84, nuff said.
Therefore, I definitely support the guv's desire to start games later so that the underprivileged can use their EBT cards for club seats, snacks, and $11 beers.
The earliest NFL kickoff I recall is 1230.
Now yes, Minnesota is Central Time so an away game in the eastern time zone could start as early as 1130.
The earliest college bowl game kickoff I recall is 1000.
I know it’s satire, but maybe a workable compromise would be to pipe the games on TV into the jails, prisons and welfare offices - after wakeup time, of course.
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