Posted on 02/09/2015 8:54:32 AM PST by John Semmens
President Obama’s $4 trillion budget proposal calls for a $2 billion boost in IRS spending in order to hire 9,000 new employees. The task of these new employees will be to track down persons who have failed to enroll in a health insurance plan and extract monetary penalties from them.
“The era of individual choice in healthcare is drawing to a close,” IRS Commissioner John Koskinen declared. “The law requires everyone to purchase a federally approved health insurance policy. Those who think that they know what’s best for themselves are free to do what they want, but they still have to purchase insurance or pay the government if they neglect to do so.”
“The fact that we have to resort to coercion is regrettable,” Koskinen lamented. “Ideally, everyone should have gotten into step with what’s good for the collective whole of society. Sadly, out-dated philosophies preaching individualism have encouraged some to resist what the government has prescribed for them. We hope that by hammering them with progressively larger financial punishments year-by-year they will be brought to heel.”
“For this coercion to be most effective it must be adequately staffed and funded,” the Commissioner demanded. “There are an estimated six million Americans we must crack down on. Two billion is the absolute minimum needed if we are to successfully carry out the mission the President has assigned to us.”
Koskinen admitted that this year’s higher penalties combined with the need to reconcile heath care subsidies received under Obamacare “will be difficult and confusing to a lot of taxpayers, both insured and uninsured. Luckily, there are major tax-preparation firms ready to assist. The fees these firms will earn will boost the economy, as well as provide compensation to the owners of these firms’ for their support of the Affordable Care Act.”
In related news, the IRS has launched an outreach program to assist illegal immigrants granted amnesty by President Obama to receive tax refunds. “These people have undertaken lengthy, arduous, and dangerous journeys to reach this country,” Koskinen said. “It’s only fair that we find some way to compensate them for the time, trouble, and risks they have endured to get here.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://theconservativecitizen.com/2015/02/08/semi-newssemi-satire-5/
I bet they’ll all wear black and carry guns.
110,000 employees isn’t enough?
They will be weaponized, probably criminal illegals,
deemed above paying taxes themselves,
EXEMPT from DeathCARE/ObamaCARE,
and will be given everyone’s personal medical records
to see whereever they wish.
What could possibly go wrong?
forgot to put in [\s]
So where’s the satire? Historical fiction (sensibly filling in unknown details and conversation to otherwise factual events) is not satire.
Maybe they’ll offer Sharpton a gig. He owes a lot in back taxes. This could be Al’s big day.
Opps, sorry, that “9M” more employees thing? It’s not the Roman “M”, it’s 9,000,000 more needed. Don’t worry!
We have the same number of former illegals to fill them.
Job Posting: IRS to Hire New Obamacare Agents - Civitas ... civitasreview.com/.../job-posting-irs-to-hire-new-obamacare-agents/ Job Posting: IRS to Hire New Obamacare Agents ... number is still to be determined, the highest estimates for the number of new IRS hires is around 16,000.
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