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Mayonnaise Is The Worst Condiment
thefederalist.com ^ | Oct. 2, 2015 | William Kelly III

Posted on 10/03/2015 2:27:03 PM PDT by PROCON


There exists in this world a condiment below all others. It has all of the flavor of sawdust and the sublime texture of soap scum. Until recently, I was unaware that The Federalist, lovers of freedom, etc., was complicit in its spread. I rise today to defend America—nay, the world—against such scurrilous anti-food propaganda.

As all Americans, especially Texans, know, mayonnaise is a tool of oppression used by communists and bland-food lovers everywhere. It is a form of mind control designed to cow you into a sense of complacency about life. Food has flavor, and mayo covers that flavor up. It destroys your ability to taste.

What do you do to a food if it is too intense, and you’re not Texan? You add mayonnaise. In much the same way that salt is used to flavor food, mayonnaise is used to bland it. It is flavor’s anti-particle: it annihilates on contact.

Hello, People: The French Invented Mayonnaise

(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: condiments; mayonnaise
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To: PROCON

I hate mayonnaise. There I wrote it. I’ve come clean.


121 posted on 10/03/2015 2:59:06 PM PDT by lastchance (Credo.)
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To: PROCON

I’ll throw in my two cents here. Try labneh, an Arabic slightly salted strained yogurt, also known as Kefir cheese, something it is not. Try spreading it on bread with a little olive oil then put anything on top you wish. It is also used as a dip: labneh, olive oil, minced red onions, with flat bread to scoop it up. Excellent. Over and out on this thread.


122 posted on 10/03/2015 2:59:11 PM PDT by Fungi
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To: onyx

Anytime I use mayo at home, I have to check the expiration date on the jar. I like a little mayo, just not all that often.


123 posted on 10/03/2015 2:59:17 PM PDT by Redcitizen
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To: McGruff

Yep


124 posted on 10/03/2015 2:59:27 PM PDT by ColdOne (I miss my poochie... Tasha 2000~3/14/11 HillaryForPrison2016)
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To: PROCON

Mayo is the condiment of White privilege.


125 posted on 10/03/2015 2:59:38 PM PDT by Cowboy Bob (With Trump & Cruz, America can't lose!)
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To: Mrs.Z

Greek potato salad should not contain mayo. They would use olive oil and lemon juice or vinegar. Russian potato salad uses mayo.


126 posted on 10/03/2015 3:00:28 PM PDT by toothfairy86
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To: Protect the Bill of Rights

To correct my above statement. On those rare occasions when I feel like peeling potatoes or hard boiled eggs, I use it in my potato salad and deviled eggs. Sparingly.


127 posted on 10/03/2015 3:00:42 PM PDT by Protect the Bill of Rights
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To: Moonman62

I did an unofficial survey once on one of these Mayo threads.

It seems for the most part people liked what they grew up.

Our house was Miracle Whip. I don’t like Mayo.


128 posted on 10/03/2015 3:01:16 PM PDT by RummyChick
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To: JoeDetweiler

Tomato sandwiches need Duke’s mayonnaise. Hellman’s would be okay if you don’t have Duke’s.


129 posted on 10/03/2015 3:01:21 PM PDT by ladyjane
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To: srmorton
I also love mayonnaise on my banana and tomato sandwiches!

Who doesn't??

130 posted on 10/03/2015 3:01:33 PM PDT by ETL (Too many idiots, not enough time)
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To: Ouderkirk; onyx

You gotta slather one side of a hamburger bun (preferably the top one) with mayo just as you’re removing a fatburger from the grill.....


131 posted on 10/03/2015 3:02:14 PM PDT by ErnBatavia (It ain't a "hashtag"....it's a damn pound sign. ###)
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To: PROCON

I like HP sauce. Goes well on all British food.


132 posted on 10/03/2015 3:02:17 PM PDT by toothfairy86
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To: srmorton
I also love mayonnaise on my banana and tomato sandwiches!

Ever try mayo on a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich?

133 posted on 10/03/2015 3:02:55 PM PDT by ETL (Too many idiots, not enough time)
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To: toothfairy86

It’s a recipe from Hellmman’s, so naturally it uses mayo (theirs, of course).


134 posted on 10/03/2015 3:03:19 PM PDT by Mrs.Z
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To: CGASMIA68
Just look at Wassermann Schultzs’ hair. Sez it all

Yes!

Sotomayer's hair too.

135 posted on 10/03/2015 3:03:38 PM PDT by ladyjane
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To: trisham

DUKE’S

Hellman’s has the word “hell” in it . . . :o/


136 posted on 10/03/2015 3:03:50 PM PDT by Twinkie (John 3:16)
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To: PROCON

We mostly use mayo to make tartar sauce and mix with sour cream for potato salad.


137 posted on 10/03/2015 3:03:58 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: PROCON

I like mayonnaise. I use it on hot dogs, hamburgers, fench fries, whatever I can.

I despise....and mean utterly DESPISE Miracle Whip. It is a cloyingly sweet substance invented by fiends and enemies of humanity.

My wife loves it. This had led to tensions.


138 posted on 10/03/2015 3:04:08 PM PDT by hoagy62 (Only one solution left.....)
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To: RummyChick

When I was a kid one of my friend’s mom used Miracle Whip on sandwiches. I always made sure to fill up before going there.


139 posted on 10/03/2015 3:04:38 PM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (It's a shame enobama truly doesn't care about any of this. Our country, our future, he doesn't care)
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To: ETL

Is this banana and tomato on the same sandwich??????


140 posted on 10/03/2015 3:05:00 PM PDT by RummyChick
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