Mayonnaise Is The Worst Condiment

thefederalist.com ^ | Oct. 2, 2015 | William Kelly III

[PROCON]

There exists in this world a condiment below all others. It has all of the flavor of sawdust and the sublime texture of soap scum. Until recently, I was unaware that The Federalist, lovers of freedom, etc., was complicit in its spread. I rise today to defend America—nay, the world—against such scurrilous anti-food propaganda.

As all Americans, especially Texans, know, mayonnaise is a tool of oppression used by communists and bland-food lovers everywhere. It is a form of mind control designed to cow you into a sense of complacency about life. Food has flavor, and mayo covers that flavor up. It destroys your ability to taste.

What do you do to a food if it is too intense, and you’re not Texan? You add mayonnaise. In much the same way that salt is used to flavor food, mayonnaise is used to bland it. It is flavor’s anti-particle: it annihilates on contact.

Hello, People: The French Invented Mayonnaise

[ColdOne]

:)

[PROCON]

If you want deviled eggs, go to France! :-)

Substitute Miracle Whip.....It's a Condiment!

[JRandomFreeper]

Aioli

/johnny

[discostu]

Can’t stand the stuff, it’s got the texture of phlegm and tastes about the same. It’s OK as a lubricant for stuff like macaroni salad, but that’s it. And none of that fake mayo “salad dressing” crap either. Condiments are mustard, BBQ sauce and salsa. I don’t like ketchup either, too sweat.

[Lurkina.n.Learnin]

That is an abomination!

[nascarnation]

Here's a great one from down south I used to grab when we vacationed in Florida:

(but now I can get it on Amazon)

[ETL]

Prediction: 200 posts.

Anything to get away from that other stuff for awhile.

[Sparticus]

Mayo isn’t a condiment, it’s sandwich lubricant. Don’t like me no dry ham and cheese sammi’s.

[PROCON]

Prediction: 200 posts.

I ain't got anything better to do, I'm old and lonely :-)

[knarf]

That's the most expensive Mayo on the planet !

I LOVE Waldorf salad and I eat at least a gallon of mayo a year

[Vinnie]

Miracle Whip...The other white condiment.

[Popman]

How does one eat a roast beef sandwich without mayo...?

It’s almost against the laws of nature...!

[PROCON]

Then you hate mayo, and rightfully so, you just don’t know it yet.

[ETL]

For the last time class, the word you are using in a sentence is Condiments, NOT Condoms!! Two very different words.

I think they make mint ones now.

[3D-JOY]

SORRY!

Of all the problems we face in the world, I can not get excited for or against a little oil and egg mixture...

Actually I use far more sour cream.

[onyx]

I LOVE Mayonnaise!

I personally go through a jar per month.

[real saxophonist]

I also have some Baconnaise in my refrigerator.

[onyx]

LOL.

I LOVE sour cream, too!

[dontreadthis]

the Belgians?

[Lurkina.n.Learnin]

Miracle Whip sucks.