Skip to comments.Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down: Pain for Pleasure
Posted on 05/19/2005 6:41:02 PM PDT by pissant
"Nurse Nasty," "Wicked Doctor," "The Prison Matron" not the usual way to introduce yourself, but in the leather-clad world of sadomasochism, naughty is nice.
And pain is pleasure.
"I need stimulation and get a terrific high from playing rough," said Allena Gabosch, 52, a Seattle-based "bottom," meaning she's the one on the receiving end of spanking. The buxom, tattooed, alternative sex activist finds pain play very seductive but, "I still ask for Novocain at the dentist's office."
While most couples don't need whips, paddles or ropes to get in the mood, a minority find sadomasochism, or S&M, erotic. They like to explore the fine line between pain and pleasure to escape from reality, test their endurance, experience a spiritual high or simply to act out fantasies and fears.
The pain can be real, but the goal isn't injury or broken bones. And despite the early belief that smacks in the sack led to mental illness, psychologists say that S&M practitioners are just as well-adjusted as the average person.
Slap Me for Pleasure
Sex or lovemaking is about feeling good, so what feels good about pain?
"People clearly want fictionalized pain for attention and symbolic effect," said Roy Baumeister, professor of psychology at Florida State University and author of "Masochism and the Self." S&M helps people temporarily lose their normal identity and focus on the flashes of pain, he said.
Baumeister described S&M pain as separated from its biological function. "It's no longer about warning you of injury, it's about escaping yourself."
(Excerpt) Read more at abcnews.go.com ...
Sadist: "No! No!"
LOL. good one.
TALKING WITH SEATTLE SEXUAL ACTIVIST ALLENA GABOSCH
by Mistress Matisse
Allena has been producing educational and social events for the sex-positive community since 1990. She is a frequent speaker on BDSM at colleges and conferences and is a board member of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
How did you become a sexual activist?
I came into the community by answering an ad in a swingers' magazine. I then began working with Kinky Couples, a group holding BDSM events at a local swingers' club. A few years later, a friend and I opened Beyond the Edge Cafe, and it became a hub for the kink community. BTE held BDSM workshops, erotic art shows, and play parties in its basement.
After selling the cafe, I was hired to be the executive director of a club called the Wet Spot. It isn't a BDSM club or a swingers' club, although it has aspects of both. It's a place for all sex-positive people to gather for social and education events.
How would you describe yourself sexually?
[A] bisexual, polyamorous, masochistic switch who is only submissive to her "Daddy." I'm currently with out a primary partner. But I have two secondary partners, my Daddy and my boi, and several other wonderful people I play with, so I keep quite busy! Recently I've become a bondage aficionado, and have spent a lot of time all tied up.
How does the BDSM scene in Seattle compare to other cities?
Seattle is very cohesive. My experience with other large cities (and some small ones) is that they are more fractured. We also are a bit bloodier than most, and seem to be edgier and more into SM than DS--but that could just be the folks I hang around with.
Overall, I adore the leather community. The only thing that annoys me are the One True Wayers. If you don't agree with them you are branded as Bad, or Unsafe, or "just a newbie." I find that those folks are usually Internet players and have little real-life experience. (The Internet is great, but it is no substitute for real-life play.) They have gotten wrapped up in the fantasy world they created online--they've limited themselves by their One True Wayism.
that's not the same gal as in post 19. can't be.
Are you signing up for her class?
Thanks. It must take her an hour to squeeze into that thing!
Well you need some Passion Pants to soothe ya.
"You promised you would wait until pissant got here."
Best post of the day Award for Enterprise!
Aw shucks, thanks.
"Someone looking for shaggy?"
I think that does resemble him
,,, even though he's wearing his rubber dive suit and aqualung?
,,, "hand" me the average person.
Sorry this wasn't as enticing as last nites thread!
,,, don't be sorry - you're a respected "educator" now.
very scholarly indeed!
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