Mensa's New Words for 2005 (humor)

e-mail to PA Times | 9/12/05 | unknown

[pissant]

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2005 winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Hey you stopped in. Nice to see you are still out there.

[ctlpdad]

Thanks!

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

You know we miss you when you go on sabbatical.

[PaulaB]

But that's why Baskin Robbins makes 31 flavors

True :)

[PaulaB]

I got good lemonade, ah, dixie cups All flavors and push ups too I’m your ice cream man, baby, stop me when I’m passin’ by

Made me think of a Van Halen song ;)
...have we done this one yet?
if you were an ice cream..what type? Since your the Godfather of these ..I couldn't remember..;)

[pissant]

I'm just the licker of the ice cream cone. ;o)

[LongElegantLegs]

Funny words ping.

[The SISU kid]

Catasstrophy: What you keep to memorialize catching the feline who's been yowling under your window all night.

LOL!! I love it!

[Slings and Arrows]

Thanks!

[Slings and Arrows]

Hey, I used to resemble that remark! ;)

There's a lot of that going around. ;)

[The SISU kid]

[marmar]

You give me my laugh breaks..........I have to see what you are up to.........

[pissant]

Glad to have ya stop by!!

Especially on a thread about Mensas! ;o)

[marmar]

Sooooooooo what exactly are you implying...

[pissant]

That you are a smarty pants! ;o)

[marmar]

Did you know that mensa as pronounced by in Spanish...

[marmar]

See prior post.....

[apackof2]

Hmmmmmm...I see

I have one for you

Bomaskadious: the bold art of creating a persona as a mask

[Finger Monkey]

A thread about menses? Pissy!

Dang.

Just dang.

[harrowup]

Kinda disappointing, as I have met some hotties at Mensa meetings, although it remains a heavily male environment.

Most Log Cabin Republicans are.

[PoorMuttly]

Muttlification.

Dogspotism.

Rodentistry.

[pissant]

Next one will be about retards. I'll be sure to PING teeny. ;o)

[NicknamedBob]

"I hate misspelling my own word."

You also misspelled repulsive, as replusive. I thought maybe Darksheare was looking over your shoulder.

I like replusive, it could be a candidate word:

Replusive -- hideous, but with additional nastiness.

[Darksheare]

Was just discussing what a 'Knwo' is.
Decided it is some horrific movie monster.
Nobody knows what it looks like, but they recognize it when they see it and scream out "Knwoooooooo!"

[pissant]

Very GOOD! Talk about lemonade for CG's lemon

[pissant]

I thought it was just an Elmer Fuddism! ;o)

[Darksheare]

LOL, if it was only that benign.
"Knwo" is due to my typos.

[NicknamedBob]

Earliest word in this category that I can remember came from Playboy.

"My wife is a Hobosexual."

-- "Did you just call your wife a homosexual?"

"No. I said Hobosexual. She's a bum lay."


(I think ... circa 1960's)

[pissant]

Oy!!!

[Darksheare]

LOL!
Ouch!

[apackof2]

Muttlification

Just for clarification........ how is this process achieved?

[PoorMuttly]

The Ways to Enlightened Muttliness are myriad....although most of them directly involve food, excavation, and things mysteriously being "that way" when he got there.

BTW...have YOU hugged (and "over"-fed) your Muttly of Mass Destruction today ?

[apackof2]

BTW...have YOU hugged (and "over"-fed) your Muttly of Mass Destruction today ?

But of course....today and every day!

[PoorMuttly]

Excellent.

Carry on.

[teenyelliott]

Hardee har har, you maroon.

[pissant]

I was only gonna ping ya because of your insight, not because I think you are a retard. hehehe

[Conspiracy Guy]

Siht!

[Conspiracy Guy]

I knwo waht it is.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Lemon. Makes me think of Led Zeppelin.

[Conspiracy Guy]

You liked it for the articles.

[pissant]

Led Zeppelin. That makes me think of kitties.

[Conspiracy Guy]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1483435/posts?page=26#26

[Conspiracy Guy]

I think the song I'm talking about was on their 1st or 2rd album. The Immigrant Song was much later.

[pissant]

I know what song yer talking about! You were supposed to say:

Kitties. Makes me think of chinese restaurants, or something like that.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Compai Kitty?

[pissant]

zackly.

[Conspiracy Guy]

I can't stand Chinese food.

[Vor Lady]

Thanks for the hysterical ping!

[NicknamedBob]

They could have saved me a lot of page-turning if they had written the jokes on the centerfold girl.

I still worry about the pain of that staple.


I thought of a couple today...

Infiestation -- coming home early from a trip out of town to discover that the teenagers had decided to host a party.

Here's something that just occurred to me, a new definition for an old word...

Largesse -- Michael Moore in his Superman pajamas.


Why not?

Inviolinate -- protecting your musical instrument with Armor-All.

Perespective -- consideration, but at a distance.

Iranq -- the middle ground of the Middle East, for people who know no geography.

Georgraphy -- what Liberals think is President Bush's view of the World.

Anal Rententive -- Make up your own definitions.

Postitive -- the confidence you feel in pushing the post button, just as you also see that stupid mistake!

[Conspiracy Guy]

Very good. But I gotta head home.