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HS Basketball
Me | 22 Nov 2005 | Me

Posted on 11/22/2005 8:37:58 AM PST by sparkomatic

My daughter is a sophomore in HS. A couple of nights ago I went to the school for a parent/coach meeting. Since I got there a few minutes early, I stepped into the gym to watch a few minutes of practice.
The coach told me to leave because it's a "closed practice".
I said, "you mean I can't watch?"
He said, "No."
I left but I didn't like it.
As soon as the meeting started I told him what I thought. I explained that it's my kid. My school since I pay taxes. I'm not going to coach from the side lines, etc. He says it's his policy to close practices. He gave a bunch of reasons, but flimsy ones.
I got a call just now from the athletic director. He wants a meeting with me. I suspect he perceives me as a threat. I don't know why. My daughter has been at the school for 2 years now and has played volley ball, ran track and now basketball. I have never caused a problem.

What do you think?


TOPICS: Sports
KEYWORDS: basketball; chitchat

1 posted on 11/22/2005 8:37:58 AM PST by sparkomatic
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To: sparkomatic

Rent the movie "Hoosiers"


2 posted on 11/22/2005 8:39:33 AM PST by Jimmy Valentine's brother ( We need a few more Marines like Lt. Gen. James Mattis)
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To: sparkomatic

It's your kid, your tax money, and his team. Deal.


3 posted on 11/22/2005 8:40:22 AM PST by 1rudeboy
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To: Jimmy Valentine's brother

Get a lawyer.


4 posted on 11/22/2005 8:41:09 AM PST by massgopguy (massgopguy)
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To: sparkomatic

Home School


5 posted on 11/22/2005 8:41:17 AM PST by TexasTransplant (NEMO ME IMPUNE LACESSET)
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To: sparkomatic
Did you get irate or anything as you left? If not, I see no reason why you should be getting calls from the athletic director. That's ridiculous.

As for closed practice, it's coach rules. I can see how parents would be a distraction that might disrupt team play. The kid starts playing for the parent or looking to the parent for direction instead of the coach. It's a psychological thing, I guess.
6 posted on 11/22/2005 8:41:32 AM PST by mysterio
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To: massgopguy

Get a jump shot.


7 posted on 11/22/2005 8:41:37 AM PST by YouPosting2Me
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To: sparkomatic

Speaking both as a player and as a parent of a player, my advice is to accept it as a matter of team concentration. They don't see you as a pedophile or anything like that, they just would like the team to be able to practice without any need to look over their shoulders.

There is also the matter of parents trying to second-guess the coach at every turn, why isn't my kid playing as much, let me show you a play my boy & I worked out over the weekend, that sort of thing.

Ask if they will have another practice when parents can watch, I think they'll accomodate you at some point.


8 posted on 11/22/2005 8:42:29 AM PST by jiggyboy (Ten percent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: sparkomatic

Well, I think that you and... your child...xxkjdf...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


9 posted on 11/22/2005 8:42:39 AM PST by Coop (FR = a lotta talk, but little action)
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To: sparkomatic

If you trust the coach I say let them have their closed practice. My son plays basketball, and I know how hard it is to get high school kids to be focused.


10 posted on 11/22/2005 8:42:55 AM PST by Ted
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To: sparkomatic

Closed practices can help build teamwork and improve group performance by excluding outside distractions. I say give the coach a break.


11 posted on 11/22/2005 8:43:09 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: sparkomatic
My school since I pay taxes

Does that mean you get to go in the girl's bathroom?

I think you should let the coach do his job without parental interference.

12 posted on 11/22/2005 8:43:36 AM PST by Zevonismymuse
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To: sparkomatic

My take - a dad with a daughter now playing div I sports in the Big East - when coach says leave, leave. It's his team, his practice, and you have no role to play.


13 posted on 11/22/2005 8:43:58 AM PST by dmz
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To: mysterio

I did get a little irate, but not in front of the kids. I have never attempted to coach my kid. I've never been to a basketball practice until that one day. I have observed many of her volleyball practices without incident.


14 posted on 11/22/2005 8:44:21 AM PST by sparkomatic (I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Phil 4:13)
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To: sparkomatic

I agree. I pay taxes to for these schools, so why can't I be in the high school girl's locker room with a camera?


15 posted on 11/22/2005 8:44:34 AM PST by LdSentinal
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To: sparkomatic

As a former part-time coach:

1. Sometimes the coach needs to be the complete boss. Parents interfere.

2. Kids act/play different when parent is present (usually not as well from nervousness to show-boating).

3. Make an exception for you, then all parents get to come.

4. You could be a spy, child molester, freak show, or just someone looking over the should distracting the coach.


16 posted on 11/22/2005 8:45:41 AM PST by MeanWestTexan (Many at FR would respond to Christ "Darn right, I'll cast the first stone!")
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To: sparkomatic

You apparently have never played on a organized school team sport.
"Closed practices" mean "closed practices."
Now if you want to change the rules then I suggest you apply for the coach's job.
good luck... LOL


17 posted on 11/22/2005 8:45:59 AM PST by kellynla (U.S.M.C. 1st Battalion,5th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Div. Viet Nam 69&70 Semper Fi)
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To: sparkomatic

A question or two come to mind... Is he doing something in practice he ought not be doing? (probably not because you probably would have heard about it by now), but more likely, Does he not trust the adults from spying for other teams (more likely)... Basketball shouldn't be such a big deal that you can't enjoy watching your daughter practice .... and a third is he might not want mom and dad coaching from the sidelines... hope the AD isn't a dork


18 posted on 11/22/2005 8:46:36 AM PST by InvisibleChurch (The search for someone to blame is always successful. - Robert Half)
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To: sparkomatic

Well, you've answered your own question. You got irate when you (with all due respect) were in the wrong. You became a "threat" at that moment.

Go to the games and root (positively) like hell.


19 posted on 11/22/2005 8:46:37 AM PST by dmz
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To: sparkomatic
Unacceptable. You have the right to watch your kid at practice.

As a coach of girls BB, the most difficult part is dealing with irate, irrational and overprotective parents. My guess is the coach has had some bad experiences.

I suggest a cordial sit down with the AD and the coach to understand the reasoning.

FWIIW, schu
20 posted on 11/22/2005 8:47:05 AM PST by schu
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To: sparkomatic

Do you want whine with that?


21 posted on 11/22/2005 8:47:10 AM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran (Rush agrees with me 98.5% of the time!)
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To: sparkomatic

As long as the coach is doing anything inappropriate, I would support a closed practice. Too many "little league" parents in kids sports these days. Make sure you child keeps you informed of what is going on in practice.


22 posted on 11/22/2005 8:48:21 AM PST by Maximus of Texas (On my signal, pull my finger)
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To: LdSentinal
Locker rooms and bathrooms can make for good jokes, but those are ridiculous examples.
Part of the reason I wanted to watch is that I didn't play sports in school. I wanted to get a better feel for what goes on just for my own education.

As answer to a different question. How would I be any more of a distraction than I would be at a game?

23 posted on 11/22/2005 8:48:48 AM PST by sparkomatic (I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Phil 4:13)
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To: sparkomatic

The point about practice is to NOT have distractions. You're having trouble letting go of this.

It's not rec council anymore, it's high school.


24 posted on 11/22/2005 8:52:27 AM PST by dmz
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To: Coop

Wow, you took the time to write and tell us that you thought this thread was boring.

How noble of you.


Please feel free to ping all of us to your next gripping post.


25 posted on 11/22/2005 8:52:54 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (My Thanksgiving Turkey beat up France.)
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To: Zevonismymuse

I want to go to a military base and argue that since my tax dollars bought that there tank, I should get to test drive it.


26 posted on 11/22/2005 8:54:03 AM PST by El Sordo
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To: sparkomatic

It's a closed practice.

No outside distractions. And yes, you would be a distraction no matter how quietly you sat there and just watched.

Get over it.


27 posted on 11/22/2005 8:58:34 AM PST by nuffsenuff (Don't get stuck on Stupid - General Russ Honore Sept 21, 2005)
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To: MeanWestTexan
As a former part-time coach:
1. Sometimes the coach needs to be the complete boss. Parents interfere. I wasn't nor do I intend to.

2. Kids act/play different when parent is present (usually not as well from nervousness to show-boating). that may be but how is it any different from a game.

3. Make an exception for you, then all parents get to come. So?

4. You could be a spy, child molester, freak show, or just someone looking over the should distracting the coach. I could be any of those, but I'm known to be a parent. I go to most games for all the HS sports. The coach already has a printed list of rules. Not coaching from the side lines etc. is already listed as one of the don'ts. As long as I'm not causing a distraction I don't see a problem.

I'd like to point out one more thing. I'm asking you people these questions because I have a true desire to know if I'm in the wrong or if I have been slighted. For me I haven't decided, yet. I have defended my case as I see things. I may be wrong. Maybe I'm not. I'm listening to what you people have to say so I can form an educated opinion.

Also, to the one [explitive deleted] I'm not whining. I'm asking a question. You don't know me so don't attack me.

28 posted on 11/22/2005 9:00:45 AM PST by sparkomatic (I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Phil 4:13)
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To: Dashing Dasher

Pingzzzz...zzzzzz


29 posted on 11/22/2005 9:02:44 AM PST by Coop (FR = a lotta talk, but little action)
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To: Coop
Fascinating repartee.

Do you have a weblog that I can read?
30 posted on 11/22/2005 9:04:12 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (My Thanksgiving Turkey beat up France.)
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To: sparkomatic

"Make an exception for you, then all parents get to come. So?"

OK, you say you had no intention to intrude or interfere, I'll take your word. But, many parents are just the opposite. If the coach allows you , he must allow all. Speaking from experience, many parents are disruptive. As an ex-coach and referee, it was the parents that drove me away. Loved teaching the kids, couldn't stand the parents. No offense.


31 posted on 11/22/2005 9:14:57 AM PST by gate2wire
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To: sparkomatic

"1. Sometimes the coach needs to be the complete boss. Parents interfere. I wasn't nor do I intend to."

That's nice. Just by being there, you interfere.

2. "Kids act/play different when parent is present (usually not as well from nervousness to show-boating). that may be but how is it any different from a game."

Practice is a time when new skills are practiced and the kids mess up. They are less inclined to do so with parents present.

"3.Make an exception for you, then all parents get to come. So?"

You may not be an interfering twit, but someone else will be.

Personally, the fact that you get your dander up by being kicked out is considerable evidence (to me) that you are exactly the kind of parent that does not belong at practice.


32 posted on 11/22/2005 9:16:07 AM PST by MeanWestTexan (Many at FR would respond to Christ "Darn right, I'll cast the first stone!")
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To: sparkomatic
I have a true desire to know if I'm in the wrong or if I have been slighted.

You are wrong. This must be your first child involved in HS sports. Go to the games, cheer for the team, bring oranges or Gatorade but do what the coach wants.

I would talk to the coach and athletic director and apologize for how you came off. Then ask how you can support the team.

33 posted on 11/22/2005 9:18:00 AM PST by Zevonismymuse
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To: Dashing Dasher
Here...zzzzz
34 posted on 11/22/2005 9:18:49 AM PST by Coop (FR = a lotta talk, but little action)
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To: sparkomatic
As answer to a different question. How would I be any more of a distraction than I would be at a game?

Having been a player and now being a parent of a player AND a coach, I can tell you that there are two main reasons that I have closed practices:

1) To get complete attention
2) To go over strategies - nobody but the team should be there

Early in my coaching career, I let parents attend until one particular day. While conducting a tryout, a parent sat one foot off of the sideline and yelled at his son the entire time. Needless to say, the player became frustrated and was not focused on what he should do. I did not take the player as I did not want that distraction in a game.

This was the last time that I allowed parents within earshot of the field. When I am coaching, I want the players to focus on my teachings and the game. If you do not trust the coach, that is a different story, but if this is a good coach, let him do his job.

To answer your second question, Games are a completely different situation, unless you decide to do more than cheer for your child. If you do more than cheer, then you will be a distraction at the games as well. Players understand that gametime is a different environment, but a parent throwing out orders is ALWAYS a distraction. Practices are for learning and Games are for demonstrating their knowledge. Practices need to be controlled. Games are expected to be noisy.
35 posted on 11/22/2005 9:19:10 AM PST by Eagle of Liberty (11, 175, 77, 93 - In Memory Always)
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To: sparkomatic

As the parent of a former HS basketball player, my advice is to shut up and don't complain about anything, especially if she is not one of the stars of the team. Many coaches and ADs are petty and vindictive (although that may not be the case at your school). Also, don't complain to the AD or principal in confidence. The coach will probably find out.


36 posted on 11/22/2005 9:23:05 AM PST by rrr51
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To: sparkomatic
I think parental interference is a legitimate concern for coaches. Suggested movie: "Coach Carter" to see what I mean.

On the other hand, you have a legitimate interest in what goes on at a practice. A suggestion: go to some other high school and ask them if you could observe a practice--or go to a local college. Many of those hold open practices. This might also give you something new and interesting to talk to your kid about after school--"I went to see XYZ's practice, and it was really interesting. What are your practices like?"
37 posted on 11/22/2005 9:33:34 AM PST by filbert (More filbert at http://www.medary.com)
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To: sparkomatic

"I got a call just now from the athletic director. He wants a meeting with me. I suspect he perceives me as a threat."

The AD doesn't sign your paycheck and doesn't pay your bills. Why would you care what he could have to say to you? I wouldn't go into the meeting with a hostile attitude, but I wouldn't let them browbeat me either.


38 posted on 11/22/2005 9:39:16 AM PST by Woman on Caroline Street (Go sell crazy somewhere else. We're all stocked up here.)
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To: dmz
My take - a dad with a daughter now playing div I sports in the Big East - when coach says leave, leave. It's his team, his practice, and you have no role to play.


My question. What if slick willy is the coach?
39 posted on 11/23/2005 6:07:23 PM PST by Big Horn (We need more Tom DeLay's)
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