Posted on 06/19/2006 2:44:34 PM PDT by FoxPro
Read the whole thing, it is worth it.
My kids:
Sean is 23 and he is marrying Terry 23. Cathy is 21. Josh is 20.
Washington, DC. May 2006.
You know, this is just supposed to be a regular old wedding. Take the vows. Take pictures. Eat something. Cut the cake. Dance to the DJ until they turn on the lights and chase every body away.
And it was like that, sort of.
You know, I am not a particularly religious person. I don't go to church regularly, but probably should. I am not trying to make a statement of faith here, or take any moral high ground or stand. I am just reporting what happened. I think everybody should be able practice any religious faith they so please, and that includes my kids. And they have. I call them my little bible thumpers (and they aren't so little anymore).
It is 4 o'clock. The wedding is about to begin. I am told to sit in the front row. I do so.
I look around and notice something is not as I expected. My brother notices this also. There are only around 100 people here. The small crowd is made up of basically 20 year old kids, relatives and a scattering of old folks. I was told, very nicely, that I was not going to be able to invite any of my friends to the wedding. And that was just fine with me. The bride and groom can invite anybody they want. But since the father of the bride is the vice president of a fortune 100 Corporation, who travels the world, testifies before congress and has connections that I could only dream of, I was expecting the usual contingent of congressmen, high power lawyers and corporate chieftains. I felt a little let down actually. It would only be a few minutes before I would understand why the guest list was as it is.
Josh, my youngest son, is Sean's best man. He also played the piano at the start of the ceremony among all of his other duties. Josh is an interesting guy. One day I caught him playing the piano. He never took lessons, and on top of that he has a badly disfigured finger from when he was a toddler. I heard the piano playing one night when he was around 15. I walked into the music room and there he was, just playing away. I stood there with this look of complete astonishment on my face for about 10 minutes, as he played. He paused. I said, "What was that?" Without even turning around he said "Oh I am just messing around, no big deal". I went to my office that night, turned off the TV, and lights, and just listened all night as he played away in the next room. I spent many more nights like that, just listening, and wish I could again. So many good memories, sigh.
Back to the wedding.
On queue, Josh stops playing the piano. I look over, and my kids are praying together, for one another, their hands on each other shoulders. The only other time I had ever saw my kids pray was a perfunctory blessing of food at Thanksgiving and such. Then they symbolically bid Sean good-bye as their brother. This will be the end of their childhood relationship. They will no longer be just brothers and sister. Sean's priorities will now be to his wife. They are acknowledging this in their own special way, together one last time as youthful siblings. They sense that their lives are changing forever today. They do this spontaneously. It is very moving. I haven't seen my kids very much over the last couple of years. They have changed.
The wedding guests, witnessing this, start crying.
It takes a lot to get to me. I am all choked up watching this. This isn't just a wedding; it is a watershed in life, in all of our lives.
Then the bagpipes start playing. The processional begins. One of the bridesmaids is the bride's best friend. She has cerebral palsy. With her twisted limbs, and uncontrollable body movements, it takes her a while, as she slowly labors down the aisle in her own unique way. She will not use her wheelchair for this. It takes everything in me to sit still. Every fiber in my body wants to jump up, sweep here off her feet and carry her down the aisle. I don't move an inch. She wants to do this. This is her best friends wedding. She will do whatever it takes.
There is even more sounds of muffled weeping, and we haven't even gotten the ceremony started yet. I wonder why people cry at weddings. This is a happy occasion. I love the ironies of life.
The bride's father walks her down the aisle. She is absolutely stunning in her pure white gown. The pastor intones "And who presents Terry to be married to Sean?" The bride's father replies "Her mother and I." At this point he is supposed to sit down, but he doesn't.... Then the minister continues, saying "Terry and Sean, come now and......" Just then Terry's father turns to her, interrupting the pastor in mid sentence, and says with a fatherly voice "my daughter....." and Terry turns to her father and says innocently "yes father" You could tell the pastor was quite taken aback by the look on his face, as we all were. Nobody knows what will happen next, we are all on the edge of our seats. You could hear a pin drop.
Several months earlier:
When I first met Sean's girlfriend, I did notice that ring on her finger. I don't know why. She didn't strike me as a girl that would wear a lot of jewelry. It was just a simple band. And when the engagement ring was added, it just seemed even more out of place. Later I had heard that it was a "commitment ring", and that we would all understand the significance of it in time. I never gave it another thought.
But, it was time.
Back to the wedding:
Standing, facing each other in front of the startled wedding guests, Terry's father took her hands in his. She was beaming, as their eyes locked, looking up at him, like a little girl looks to her father for assurance and guidance. Then her father said "When you where fourteen, you made a promise to your mother and I, that you would remain pure and innocent for your future husband. We gave you a ring to signify this promise. Did you keep this promise to us?" Terry said in the most innocent voice imaginable "Yes daddy, I kept this promise to you." Then a long pause as tears streamed down both of their faces..... Then her father said "And now can I have the ring?" and she said "Yes daddy you may have the ring now" as she slipped it off and gave it to him.....
Then the ceremony basically falls apart, because this part was completely unscripted. A surprise breach of protocol kept secret from everyone.
The pastor began weeping, and seemed to lose his place and composure.
A couple of women appeared to head to the ladies room for tissues and to regain their poise.
The most profound and intimate moment a dad and his little girl will share.
It is one of those times in life that is so moving, so profound, that it cant be explained, never can be repeated and will forever be there for you to contemplate, but never fully comprehend. A decade old promise, between a father and his daughter. A promise, made so privately, and yet revealed so publicly. The contrasts are so stark as to be unfathomable.
The rest of the ceremony is basically a blur.
I really don't remember the "I do's" and the "You may kiss the bride" stuff. It was like watching some great movie after that, like I wasn't really there, but I was watching something important happening.
All I can remember is thinking how good it is too be here and witness this.
A father and his daughter, and my son and I.
Like an ancient prophecy finally being fulfilled.
Turning a page on the book of life, leaving one chapter and beginning the next.
That was amazing!!!! I'll help ping every naysayer from the other thread if you want!
Thanks for sharing it.
Congratulations to you, Dad. you did a fantastic job of raising wonderful children. no matter what it took. I LOVED this story.
the divorce thread has been ongoing, all day.
I think the story becomes even more powerful when placed in the context of the other thread on which you posted it. The question there concerned divorce--easy divorce, maybe too easy. Some people there ridiculed the notion of keeping a marriage together "for the sake of the kids." You said that you had in fact done that, and you used this story to illustrate what it means for "the kids" when their parents exhibit strong character. It is a very beautiful illustration of the oft-forgot point that character is learned from example.
exactly. his post was an absolute beacon of hope on a hopeless thread.
This is precious, thank you for sharing.
i applaud you. my husband and i are going to celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary this Thursday. my kids have friends with divorced parents, and the oldest (17) especially appreciates that she comes from an intact family. i fully agree that the children in a marriage should be the centerpiece of that marriage, no matter what the spousal partners might want (and of course i don't mean serious abuse, addiction etc.) my fear for my children is that they end up with a partner who has a more disposable view of the sacrament.
You mean they didn't put on hoods and round up the local Jews for lynching??? Strange how your life-experience meshes so poorly with the template created by the MSM!
I did a search on "divorce" and didn't find any thread with more than a few posts. What is the thread, if you don't mind my asking?
Thanks. I think I'll save that one for tonight after I have a glass of wine. Sounds pretty hairy.
No, but I remeber suggesting that. lol
That was wonderful.
that was nice! Yes, that divorced threads are awful. To many people who hate their ex, blame them, and are bitter for everything and want to cry injustice for it! So sad!
Thank you. There is too much negativity here, sometimes. It is nice to find something uplifting.
Perhaps, someday, in lieu of the "Divorce Thread", I will start a thread: My Second Marriage is Wonderful.
Maybe divorce should be made even easier and marriage should be made harder... :-)
Serendipity Kate...This is blog worthy.
I've been AWOL from FR for a bit, but I'm so happy you pointed this out to me. What an amazing story! I'll blog it, and put the link here.
Very nice story!
This thread was from a couple of weeks ago, how did you pick up on it?
It popped up on the most recent threads. I think serendipity_kate was the one that made a comment.
Nice kids and a nice daughter in law you got there. You should be proud which I'm sure you are.
Thanks!
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