Posted on 04/27/2007 10:34:04 AM PDT by PercivalWalks
Alec Baldwin’s angry, over-the-top voice-mail tirade at his daughter, Ireland, was clearly wrong. Unfortunately, while we’ve been wringing our hands over how bad Baldwin is, we’re ignoring the case’s central truth – Kim Basinger’s well-documented parental alienation campaign against Baldwin.
Parental alienation often arises after a divorce, as one angry, vengeful parent tries to turn the children against the other parent, destroying the loving bonds the children and the target parent once enjoyed. Baldwin claims that his outburst occurred in the context of Basinger alienating Ireland and trying to drive him out of his daughter’s life.
This claim appears to have merit. In fact, Basinger’s own mother has publicly condemned her behavior. Ann Basinger, Ireland’s grandmother, calls Baldwin a “wonderful” parent, and says:
“My heart is sad for Ireland. She’s the one that’s suffering the most. All this is killing her. I think Kim has tried to alienate Ireland from her father. Alec loves his daughter with all his heart. He really is a family man . . . I hate what [Kim] is doing.”
Journalist Pat Lalama, who has covered the Baldwin-Basinger divorce and custody battle since their break-up seven years ago, recently told CNN:
“In all the years that I have covered celebrities . . . this was one of the meanest exchanges between two human beings . . . some of the things that Kim Basinger was demanding, in order to humiliate him, were outrageous . . . [Baldwin] was provoked by an angry ex, which I’m guessing is probably the case here, [and] he went over the edge.”
Earlier this year Baldwin charged that Basinger has: violated his visitation rights; interfered with his phone access to Ireland; and not notified him when she was going to be out of town so Baldwin could care for Ireland himself rather than leaving her with Basinger’s baby-sitters.
In court Baldwin produced messages that Basinger gave Ireland before Ireland’s visits with Baldwin. The messages, which were printed on candy bar wrappers, implied that Basinger had been mistreated by Baldwin and that Basinger and Ireland are aligned together.
Despite this, Baldwin has made legitimate attempts to placate Basinger in the best interests of their child. In November he even went on “Larry King Live” and praised Basinger, telling King, “I think she’s a great mother, yes, a good mom.”
In the long run, the apparent decision to leak the tape to the media – in violation of a court order – is far more damaging to Ireland than Baldwin’s angry tirade. Had the tape not been leaked, Baldwin would have apologized to Ireland, and the incident would have been soon forgotten. Instead, Ireland will be embarrassed by the incident for the rest of her childhood.
One tactic frequently employed by alienating mothers is to try to provoke the father into blowing his top by interfering with his relationship with his children. When he does, mom pretends to be scared of “his awful temper,” and gets the father’s already limited role in his daughter’s life reduced. Baldwin was foolish to play into Basinger’s hands.
As the target parent of parental alienation, Baldwin is in a very difficult and painful situation. John Stossel, in his new book Myths, Lies and Downright Stupidity: Get Out the Shovel – Why Everything You Know is Wrong, describes an example of parental alienation he filmed for his TV show:
“We videotaped one such heartbreaking scene. A divorced father went to see his five kids for what he thought would be a full-day visit. He was entitled to that, under court order, and the court also ordered the mother not to discourage the children from spending time with their father. But she clearly had poisoned his children’s minds against him. The father just stood outside his ex-wife’s house and begged his children, ‘Would you like to go out with me today?’ ‘No,’ said one kid after another. Then the mother ordered the kids back into her house.
“What comes through on the tape is the unbridled satisfaction of the mother and the helplessness of the father.”
Can any parent reading this honestly say that, were they in this father’s shoes, they would never blow their top?
Jeffery M. Leving is one of America’s most prominent family law attorneys. Glenn Sacks’ columns on men’s and fathers’ issues have appeared in dozens of the largest newspapers in the United States. www.GlennSacks.com
I agree!
Boo, but I just can’t muster up the Hoo.
Very creative..I like it !!!
They are both liberals. They shed light on liberal family values.
Apparently you'll soon be able to arrest a parent for YELLIng at a kid.
I’ve already been flamed for defending Baldwin on this custody issue, so don’t even bother. His politics are abhorrent and his acting is terrific, but this is about his only child and he has a God-given right to be her father. Who is to say that he is a bad parent just because he snapped? A few years ago, some working stiff Dad in the UK climbed up a building to protest the way that he was treated in his custody dispute. He was up there for days. This sort of thing would drive any loving parent to madness. Bottom line...the one harming that child is her mother who does not have the emotional maturity to acknowledge that the divorce has nothing to do with her daughter, there is no winner in a divorce. There is comfort for a child if she retains the love and stability of both parents. Kim Basinger should get jail time for what she’s done to that 11 yr. old girl. Alec Baldwin was willing to fly out to LA for one day to “straighten her a@@ out”. She very likely needs it by now.
You may notice that when Baldwin played a mean, cruel, arrogant, controlling, vile father-figure in "Cat in the Hat", he was merely typecast.
They’re both twits. The girl will be a twit too, no matter which one raises her.
At least we have these folks as a fine example of how not to divorce when there are kids involved.
During their marriage, Kim said he was physically and verbally abusive. Now with this outburst against his daughter, I believe her!
i’ve experienced the flip side
my ex alienated our children himself by the physical, emotional and verbal abuse of the children, and by his abuse of their mother (concussion, broken bones)etc.
the children tried to call the police many times
the children are old, don’t want to see him, told the court why, and we have proof of his violent behavior,
yet, he played the alienation card, why, it can’t be his behavior that alienated the children? (the oldest used to sleep with a baseball bat and cell phone, and we had safe house plans, they kids knew what to do if they heard him fly into one of his late night/early morning tirades that lasted for hours)
he told the court, it had to be mom, result: mom (stay-at-home) had to pay for 1/2 of his “therapy” to fix his relationship with the kids, which he promptly stopped after 4 sessions (the psychologist was going to tell the court how abuse he was after observing his sessions with the children and speaking to the children)
this “alienation” phenomena is valid in cases, however, it is being abused.
So if my ex is mean I can scream at my kid and call them pigs and it’s understandable? If I am mad at my boss can I yell at my kids too? What about road rage? Can I scream at my kids if I am mad at the guy who cut me off?
Baldwin was pissed at his kid and he gave full vent to his anger. I have NEVER spoken to my kids, or my dog, in such a vitriolic manner.
There is no excuse. I dont care who pisses you off, you don’t scream at your kids or call them names.
The article describes my ex-wife to a tee. Except mine looked nowhere near as good as Basinger.
Wasn’t she involved with Prince at one point? ‘Nuff said.
I’ve seen it closer to home and its horrible and there is no cure for it except time and maturity.
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