Skip to comments.Baldwin Not the Only Culprit in Custody Battle with Basinger
Posted on 04/27/2007 10:34:04 AM PDT by PercivalWalks
Alec Baldwins angry, over-the-top voice-mail tirade at his daughter, Ireland, was clearly wrong. Unfortunately, while weve been wringing our hands over how bad Baldwin is, were ignoring the cases central truth Kim Basingers well-documented parental alienation campaign against Baldwin.
Parental alienation often arises after a divorce, as one angry, vengeful parent tries to turn the children against the other parent, destroying the loving bonds the children and the target parent once enjoyed. Baldwin claims that his outburst occurred in the context of Basinger alienating Ireland and trying to drive him out of his daughters life.
This claim appears to have merit. In fact, Basingers own mother has publicly condemned her behavior. Ann Basinger, Irelands grandmother, calls Baldwin a wonderful parent, and says:
My heart is sad for Ireland. Shes the one thats suffering the most. All this is killing her. I think Kim has tried to alienate Ireland from her father. Alec loves his daughter with all his heart. He really is a family man . . . I hate what [Kim] is doing.
Journalist Pat Lalama, who has covered the Baldwin-Basinger divorce and custody battle since their break-up seven years ago, recently told CNN:
In all the years that I have covered celebrities . . . this was one of the meanest exchanges between two human beings . . . some of the things that Kim Basinger was demanding, in order to humiliate him, were outrageous . . . [Baldwin] was provoked by an angry ex, which Im guessing is probably the case here, [and] he went over the edge.
Earlier this year Baldwin charged that Basinger has: violated his visitation rights; interfered with his phone access to Ireland; and not notified him when she was going to be out of town so Baldwin could care for Ireland himself rather than leaving her with Basingers baby-sitters.
In court Baldwin produced messages that Basinger gave Ireland before Irelands visits with Baldwin. The messages, which were printed on candy bar wrappers, implied that Basinger had been mistreated by Baldwin and that Basinger and Ireland are aligned together.
Despite this, Baldwin has made legitimate attempts to placate Basinger in the best interests of their child. In November he even went on Larry King Live and praised Basinger, telling King, I think shes a great mother, yes, a good mom.
In the long run, the apparent decision to leak the tape to the media in violation of a court order is far more damaging to Ireland than Baldwins angry tirade. Had the tape not been leaked, Baldwin would have apologized to Ireland, and the incident would have been soon forgotten. Instead, Ireland will be embarrassed by the incident for the rest of her childhood.
One tactic frequently employed by alienating mothers is to try to provoke the father into blowing his top by interfering with his relationship with his children. When he does, mom pretends to be scared of his awful temper, and gets the fathers already limited role in his daughters life reduced. Baldwin was foolish to play into Basingers hands.
As the target parent of parental alienation, Baldwin is in a very difficult and painful situation. John Stossel, in his new book Myths, Lies and Downright Stupidity: Get Out the Shovel Why Everything You Know is Wrong, describes an example of parental alienation he filmed for his TV show:
We videotaped one such heartbreaking scene. A divorced father went to see his five kids for what he thought would be a full-day visit. He was entitled to that, under court order, and the court also ordered the mother not to discourage the children from spending time with their father. But she clearly had poisoned his childrens minds against him. The father just stood outside his ex-wifes house and begged his children, Would you like to go out with me today? No, said one kid after another. Then the mother ordered the kids back into her house.
What comes through on the tape is the unbridled satisfaction of the mother and the helplessness of the father.
Can any parent reading this honestly say that, were they in this fathers shoes, they would never blow their top?
Jeffery M. Leving is one of Americas most prominent family law attorneys. Glenn Sacks columns on mens and fathers issues have appeared in dozens of the largest newspapers in the United States. www.GlennSacks.com
“A few years ago, some working stiff Dad in the UK climbed up a building to protest the way that he was treated in his custody dispute. He was up there for days.
I remember this guy- he was wearing a Batman outfit. I also abhor that this issue has to be associated with Baldwin and the terrible way he spoke to his daughter but I’ll be happy if this exposes the discrimination against divorced dads that exists in this country.
Of course not. Are you going to take away the right to visit his child for it? If so, you might have to take it away from every parent that ever said horrible cross things to their children in anger. The words don't prove he is abusive in any other way, but the release of those words in violation of a court order not to might prove that his wife is worse. Whatever he said to his child in private isn't nearly as damaging as hearing those words repeated on every media outlet and brought up in every conversation about the daughter for the next few decades. Who is abusive here? Is it the mother, or the father?
You have no idea how much abuse and lies I have seen women heap on their ex's. Imagine if it was an average guy without a lot of money to spend on attorneys. It would destroy the man, take away his ability to provide child support, and do horrible things to the relationship of the child to both parents. I have witnessed this also.
Everyone wants to pile on Alec Baldwin. It takes two to tango.
Is that another way of saying he proved her right by his lack of self-control?
My nephew’s ex is sort of like this description of a woman who alienated the father from the kids. My nephew however, never fell for the bait, although he has been deeply wounded and hurt by his kids seemingly on again off again affection.
The eldest is now in college and the second daughter graduates from HS in June. The eldest moved out of her Mom’s house asap after HS and moved all her stuff into her dad’s home when she went away to college. She was afraid the mom would retaliate and sell all her clothes; ie she realized her mom was not trustworthy.
I think the best thing dads can do in this type of situaion is to continue to always be nice to the kids and try not to bad mouth the mom. My nephew has never missed a school event in his kids lives even though he was often not told about it. He managed to find out from the youngest child, a son, who is atill rather close to his dada as he like to shoot traps and also hunts with his dad in the fall.
“Ireland will be embarrassed by the incident for the rest of her childhood.’
As if being named after a country weren’t burden enough.
I’m just happy to know that Fat Alec is miserable!!!
You're absolutely right about this mature way of handling the matter, but then Alec Baldwin is not the real man your nephew is.
That said, I've heard people call their children worse, I didn't agree with it but nobody rushed in and took the kids away. I'd bet that if we had recordings of every outburst of parents from the beginning of time, that at least one time in the child's life the parent lost it and said things that should have never been said. You should've heard some of the things my mother said to me!!! White trashe comes immediately to mind. LOL A good parent would apologize, mine never did.
Women do that all the time.
Ireland should be placed in a children’s version of the Witness Protection Program. She needs protection from both of her parents!
Or could that be exactly what she wants you to believe. She’s a smart cookie. When did you stop beating your spouse.
Of course Alec loves the little child he calls a “pig.” Being an America hater and self-loathing liberal, he subconciously realizes that she is the only good and pure thing in his life.
You and me both, pal.
A favorite tactic is to undermine any discipline. If I say “no” then their mother simply says I am evil for not giving them what they want without question.
I went to pick up my son last year for a scheduled five-day visit and he refused to come. His mother and sister had worked on him for ten days. He later admitted it was wrong and we’re OK now (he’s 16), but I didn’t get him until that Friday.
It was the week and weekend of Father’s Day.
Regarding these two Hollywood stars, all I can say is that IMHO Kim is much more evil for leaking that phone conversation to the media than Alec is for saying it (which is indefensible). The leaking is far more damaging to the kid than the phone message, and unlike the phone message which was generated by instant anger over not having a scheduled phone call, the leak was a calculated attack on Alec made with complete disregard to the fact that it would hurt the kid.
I provided the majority of time and care for my daughter for sixteen years and she pretty much turned on me because her mother would give her everything she wanted without question and I wouldn’t. Plus late teens are tough for dads and daughters anyway. I haven’t seen her for a year and she won’t even return phone calls.
But I know I did my best and hopefully when she has kids she’ll understand.
Hang in their, pal. As dads our job is to do right by our kids and not do what’s easy and wrong — even if it really hurts and the old blood pressure is higher than it should be.
I agree, but this is also one of those situations where "he who is without guilt can cast the first stone" applies.
I've had times when I've yelled at my kids. I shut that down some time ago. It is simply not helpful and not excusible. But I can't condemn parents who yell at their kids too much because I've been guilty of it in the past and it's (sadly) a pretty common thing in many households -- including mine growing up.
No matter how materially well-off that young girl is, I'm sure she'd give it all up for a little peace and quiet. My wife and I, after counseling, realized we had to turn our home into a safe and nonthreatening place for my son. It's been wonderful. I only wish I had seen the light long ago.
So has your ex tried to alienate your kids, taken out restraining orders, refused to let you see your kids, stood in the background and told your kids what to say to you including very nasty stuff and on and on? Has she accused you of physical abuse? Honestly, we despise Alec, but we haven’t walked in his shoes, I just happen to know someone who has and I can tell you who I believe and at this point in time, it is Alec.
Are you certain she released it? I believe she denied doing so. While release of the audio certainly benefited Basinger, there are a number of possibilities as to how it was released...Basinger's attorney or paralegal, Family Court clerks, etc. Despite the juicy tidbits TMZ.com releases from time to time (they 'hit the big time with the release of the Mel Gibson DUI story), they are still basically gossip mongers, and I doubt that paying a lowly courthouse clerk the equivalent of their annual salary cost them anything compared to the hits they got and the free publicity they received via the Baldwin tapes.
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