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***The OFFICIAL Weekend Singles Thread*** November 9-11, 2007 - Holidays & Dealing With Loneliness

Posted on 11/09/2007 7:25:47 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger

Welcome to the Singles Thread!

Good evening, everyone! It's hard to believe it, but Thanksgiving is just a couple of weeks away, and after that, we're only six weeks out from Christmas! 2008 is just around the bend, and 2007 will soon become obsolete.

For many of us, the holidays are a time to visit family or friends...when the very air you breathe seems laden with Yuletide cheer.

But with the love and joy we observe in others, for those of us who are single, there is no doubt that there is a slightly bitter edge of loneliness tainting that happiness. There is family love, to be sure. There is Christmas spirit in plenty. But lurking on the edge is that quiet ache for someone to share our innermost self with.

This not being said in the interest of being depressing, of course! It's just a facet of the upcoming holidays that I know I don't look forward to, and one or two others among the group have pointed out. (Tonight's topic is by request, actually.)

So, what are your plans for the holidays? If there are kids in your family, how might you handle their plans? What do you do to handle any loneliness and how would you handle being alone at Christmas, or Thanksgiving or New Years? How do you handle your kids' pain?


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: singles
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To: LantzALot

Ah, yes, Advent calendars! It was always so exciting to start one of those, knowing that Christmas was just around the corner! We kids would take turns opening the days, with the rest gathered around to see what the little picture and (on some) verse said for the day. Later, when it got so there was so many of us, we usually had at least two calendars: one for the big kids and one for the little kids.

Sadly, it’s very hard to find true, Christ-based Advent calendars anymore. They’re all “Countdown to Santa!!” type things. There used to be some really beautiful ones once upon a time.

We also celebrated a lot of the saint days and feast days throughout Advent, so December was always a really exciting time!


21 posted on 11/10/2007 8:11:02 AM PST by RosieCotton ("Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." -- G.K. Chesterton [NaNo Count 17345/50000])
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To: DaveLoneRanger
But lurking on the edge is that quiet ache for someone to share our innermost self with.

Unfortunately this part occurs year round, not just during the holidays.

I was at my sister's two weeks ago where her in-laws and our mother had all converged for the weekend, I thought it was funny (quite a surprise but still funny) that the M-in-law commented to me out of the blue (and several times too) - "Gosh you sure are looking good! We need to find you a man!"

I am very thankful to have friends who invite me to stop by if I have no other plans, and frequently I will spend the holidays making the rounds (all local stops), and then go home and relax with some old movies and fuzzy slippers.

22 posted on 11/10/2007 9:03:35 AM PST by pigsmith (Viewing life as a gift from God, I tend to regard self-defense more as an obligation.)
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To: DaveLoneRanger

This is a tough one for me. My ex was the type that did her best to mess with me. During the divorce she tried to destroy everything I valued, including Christmas.

As a Christian, Christmas is supposed to be a time to celebrate. A time to be happy. For me it is a reminder that I was served with the divorce papers on Christmas Eve . . .

Cute, huh? And folks wonder why I am bitter about it.


23 posted on 11/10/2007 9:04:18 AM PST by Petruchio (Out to Lunch)
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To: LantzALot
I agree about the too-secular songs. Check out this thread and compare it against any given radio station. I guarantee you, with almost 95% confidence, you'll find the song they're playing is one of the songs listed there.
24 posted on 11/10/2007 9:29:16 AM PST by DaveLoneRanger ("Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.")
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To: 38special; aft_lizard; abishai; A knight without armor; Alberta's Child; Allegra; Amityschild; ...
Saturday Night Singles



Please freepmail DaveLoneRanger to be added / removed


25 posted on 11/10/2007 6:07:56 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger ("Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.")
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To: All

What are your Thanksgiving plans this year? Will you have someone to share it with? Will you be working? Will you dine out, either with friends, or alone? Do you prefer just to sleep in and spend a quiet day on your own? Will you be enjoying the parades? Will you be enjoying the traditional meal?


26 posted on 11/10/2007 6:19:18 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger ("Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.")
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To: RosieCotton
I celebrate Christmas at least beginning on (or the day after) Thanksgiving. This year, I don't intend to start out my Christmas music until November 20th. But this is the absolute earliest I've ever seen retailers (advertisers, radio stations, restaurants, etc.) break out the Christmas decorations, and I don't think it's just me. Also, Halloween decorations were out in early September.

I like listening to Christmas/winter music after the season, absolutely. I despise the radio stations that stop playing Christmas music on Christmas night! It's like, they can't wait to cast off the spiritual music (which wasn't terribly spiritual to begin with) and get back to their regular music.
27 posted on 11/10/2007 6:22:21 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger ("Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.")
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To: fkabuckeyesrule

Depends. They have to be the right kind of people, and even then, that’s just a temporary social solution. When you’re with other people, eventually you disperse and go home. When you’re married, you get to be yourself with your spouse.


28 posted on 11/10/2007 6:24:33 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger ("Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.")
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To: All

"The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say."

~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

29 posted on 11/10/2007 6:28:57 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger ("Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.")
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To: RosieCotton

What about Advent wreaths? There isn’t any Catholic blood in my veins, but our family does the candle-lighting, usually sitting in the dark with only the light, the Christmas tree and the wood stove fire lighting the room, and read from the Bible and sing Christmas songs together.


30 posted on 11/10/2007 6:30:09 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger ("Being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.")
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To: DaveLoneRanger
Generally, my folks visit me at Thanksgiving, and I visit them at Christmas. We're planning to do the same this year as well.

For the most part, the pains of loneliness don't hit me worse on Christmas than they do at any other time of the year. Of course, part of the reason may be that I've always been able to make it home for Christmas. If I find myself alone and hundreds of miles from my family because something is forcing me to stay at work, the situation is going to be pretty ugly.

Bill

31 posted on 11/10/2007 6:30:45 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: DaveLoneRanger
Personally, I can't wait to start up my Christmas music collection. But I feel it's too soon to start up any time before November 20 at least. What do you think? Is it too soon? Or are you really ready to kick into the Christmas season early this year?

I'm not ready for Christmas music until the second week of December. I'm no longer really excited by Christmas music even then. If I didn't hear it at all, I wouldn't be upset, but hearing Christmas music in October or early November irritates me. The one exception that I'll grant is that I knew a preacher once who would have the church sing one or two Christmas hymns during the summer. His justification was that these hymns were good worship music regardless of the season and that having the church sing them during the off season as worship music might help people think of them more as worship music at Christmas and not just as seasonal nostalgia music.

Bill

32 posted on 11/10/2007 6:49:49 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: ConservativeMind
It seems the balance of conservatism rests with men, at least according to the polls.

I've heard that the real "gender gap" in ideology is among single women. Married women tend to be more conservative in their voting habits. Unfortunately, that means that conservative guys end up having to marry someone that they hope will change with marriage. If you know of a way to change the equation, we'd all love to hear it.

Bill

33 posted on 11/10/2007 6:52:20 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: RosieCotton
I knew that the Orthodox Church celebrates Christmas into January, but I wasn't aware that the Roman Catholics do as well. I hope I wouldn't look at anyone as if he or she had two heads for playing Christmas music in early January, but I'll admit that I don't really care to hear it then.

Bill

34 posted on 11/10/2007 6:56:18 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: A knight without armor
It's nice that you have friends who care enough to ask, but I agree that they shouldn't press the point if you want to be alone. I think I would feel very depressed if I had to spend a Thanksgiving or Christmas alone.

Bill

35 posted on 11/10/2007 6:59:19 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: slugbug
Then tonight I went to visit my daughter who is away at college and we decided to go to the local mall-I was shocked to see that the mall Santa was already there and he was doing pretty good business as there was a fairly long line of kiddos waiting to see him.

I may have to be extra careful to avoid the malls. I couldn't stand the thought of the malls having Santa out this early.

Bill

36 posted on 11/10/2007 7:00:54 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: LantzALot
Now that we're on the subject, we now have shopping malls instead of "downtown."

For pure nostalgia, the over-sized displays at the mall can't compete with simple decorations along the "downtown" streets of a small town. If I want to torture myself by getting in the Christmas spirit, I find a small town in the mountains and drive down the main street. Red, bell-shaped decorations hanging at the end of green holders on each of the streetlight poles says "It's Christmas" more than ten thousand lights and huge, inflatable snowmen at the mall could ever do.

Bill

37 posted on 11/10/2007 7:06:23 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: RosieCotton
We weren't Catholic, but I remember having Advent calendars when I was a kid. Ours were made of felt and hung on our bedroom doors. They had little pockets, and my folks would put a little toy inside the next day's pocket every night. They were all very simple toys, but they were a part of Christmas.

Bill

38 posted on 11/10/2007 7:09:27 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: Petruchio
For me it is a reminder that I was served with the divorce papers on Christmas Eve . . .

That's horrible.

39 posted on 11/10/2007 7:10:52 PM PST by WFTR (Liberty isn't for cowards)
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To: DaveLoneRanger

Yes, Advent wreaths are part of Advent for both at church and at home. We usually had a family Advent wreath, with a Christmas candle in the middle that wasn’t lighted until Christmas Eve.


40 posted on 11/10/2007 7:17:09 PM PST by RosieCotton ("Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." -- G.K. Chesterton [NaNo Count 18645/50000])
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