Skip to comments.***The OFFICIAL Weekend Singles Thread*** November 9-11, 2007 - Holidays & Dealing With Loneliness
Posted on 11/09/2007 7:25:47 PM PST by DaveLoneRanger
Good evening, everyone! It's hard to believe it, but Thanksgiving is just a couple of weeks away, and after that, we're only six weeks out from Christmas! 2008 is just around the bend, and 2007 will soon become obsolete.
For many of us, the holidays are a time to visit family or friends...when the very air you breathe seems laden with Yuletide cheer.
But with the love and joy we observe in others, for those of us who are single, there is no doubt that there is a slightly bitter edge of loneliness tainting that happiness. There is family love, to be sure. There is Christmas spirit in plenty. But lurking on the edge is that quiet ache for someone to share our innermost self with.
This not being said in the interest of being depressing, of course! It's just a facet of the upcoming holidays that I know I don't look forward to, and one or two others among the group have pointed out. (Tonight's topic is by request, actually.)
So, what are your plans for the holidays? If there are kids in your family, how might you handle their plans? What do you do to handle any loneliness and how would you handle being alone at Christmas, or Thanksgiving or New Years? How do you handle your kids' pain?
Ah, yes, Advent calendars! It was always so exciting to start one of those, knowing that Christmas was just around the corner! We kids would take turns opening the days, with the rest gathered around to see what the little picture and (on some) verse said for the day. Later, when it got so there was so many of us, we usually had at least two calendars: one for the big kids and one for the little kids.
Sadly, it’s very hard to find true, Christ-based Advent calendars anymore. They’re all “Countdown to Santa!!” type things. There used to be some really beautiful ones once upon a time.
We also celebrated a lot of the saint days and feast days throughout Advent, so December was always a really exciting time!
Unfortunately this part occurs year round, not just during the holidays.
I was at my sister's two weeks ago where her in-laws and our mother had all converged for the weekend, I thought it was funny (quite a surprise but still funny) that the M-in-law commented to me out of the blue (and several times too) - "Gosh you sure are looking good! We need to find you a man!"
I am very thankful to have friends who invite me to stop by if I have no other plans, and frequently I will spend the holidays making the rounds (all local stops), and then go home and relax with some old movies and fuzzy slippers.
This is a tough one for me. My ex was the type that did her best to mess with me. During the divorce she tried to destroy everything I valued, including Christmas.
As a Christian, Christmas is supposed to be a time to celebrate. A time to be happy. For me it is a reminder that I was served with the divorce papers on Christmas Eve . . .
Cute, huh? And folks wonder why I am bitter about it.
What are your Thanksgiving plans this year? Will you have someone to share it with? Will you be working? Will you dine out, either with friends, or alone? Do you prefer just to sleep in and spend a quiet day on your own? Will you be enjoying the parades? Will you be enjoying the traditional meal?
Depends. They have to be the right kind of people, and even then, that’s just a temporary social solution. When you’re with other people, eventually you disperse and go home. When you’re married, you get to be yourself with your spouse.
What about Advent wreaths? There isn’t any Catholic blood in my veins, but our family does the candle-lighting, usually sitting in the dark with only the light, the Christmas tree and the wood stove fire lighting the room, and read from the Bible and sing Christmas songs together.
For the most part, the pains of loneliness don't hit me worse on Christmas than they do at any other time of the year. Of course, part of the reason may be that I've always been able to make it home for Christmas. If I find myself alone and hundreds of miles from my family because something is forcing me to stay at work, the situation is going to be pretty ugly.
I'm not ready for Christmas music until the second week of December. I'm no longer really excited by Christmas music even then. If I didn't hear it at all, I wouldn't be upset, but hearing Christmas music in October or early November irritates me. The one exception that I'll grant is that I knew a preacher once who would have the church sing one or two Christmas hymns during the summer. His justification was that these hymns were good worship music regardless of the season and that having the church sing them during the off season as worship music might help people think of them more as worship music at Christmas and not just as seasonal nostalgia music.
I've heard that the real "gender gap" in ideology is among single women. Married women tend to be more conservative in their voting habits. Unfortunately, that means that conservative guys end up having to marry someone that they hope will change with marriage. If you know of a way to change the equation, we'd all love to hear it.
I may have to be extra careful to avoid the malls. I couldn't stand the thought of the malls having Santa out this early.
For pure nostalgia, the over-sized displays at the mall can't compete with simple decorations along the "downtown" streets of a small town. If I want to torture myself by getting in the Christmas spirit, I find a small town in the mountains and drive down the main street. Red, bell-shaped decorations hanging at the end of green holders on each of the streetlight poles says "It's Christmas" more than ten thousand lights and huge, inflatable snowmen at the mall could ever do.
Yes, Advent wreaths are part of Advent for both at church and at home. We usually had a family Advent wreath, with a Christmas candle in the middle that wasn’t lighted until Christmas Eve.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.