What happens when the woman of your dreams is a nightmare?

Apr 23, 2008 | By Lazamataz

[TigersEye]

The issue is not the drugs. The SYMPTOM is the drugs. The ISSUE is the incredible lack of self-worth and absence of any self-love.

Don't forget that thought when thoughts of "what might have been" start occupying your mind. Until you really let go those longing thoughts will keep coming back but what I quoted above is reality. You should look at having been able to clearly see that for yourself as evidence that you are making progress too. It is easy to start thinking "I haven't changed" when in actuality you have.

[Hegemony Cricket]

Heh - Easter gifts my heiny - the hilarious nuggets you continually post (even on this thread) are gift enough for me! You do realize that you have one of the sharpest wits on FR, despite all the formidable competition...

[oldvike]

Go on with life and do the things you enjoy, i.e. whatever your hobbies are. You’ll meet the right person when you least expect it.

[Secret Agent Man]

Wow, thought that was Yul Brynner for a moment there.

Course Yul wouldn’t be smiling, nor wearing mauve.

[oldvike]

LMAO, love that “IPW” card on your homepage. Classic.

[Lazamataz]

Go on with life and do the things you enjoy, i.e. whatever your hobbies are. You’ll meet the right person when you least expect it.

My hobbies are smuggling and mortgage fraud.

I will meet the right person when I least expect it -- in my prison cell.

[andy58-in-nh]

I know, trust me. Problem is, you’re never quite ready when they throw the keys to the handcuffs out the window...

[woollyone]

Hey...thursday is “bring your kids ot work day”!

Maybe JRBC can dress in that Catholic School Girl outfit she wore a couple of Halloweens ago and...

..oh never mind.

[oldvike]

Get a new hobby. Porn, maybe?

[Othniel]

Dude, this sucks. That being said, however, you need to realize that there were things in place in her that you couldn't change. The things in place were things that she wasn't honest with about herself (like the bulimia thing)that she thought she was in control of, or stuff she thought that she was over (like Mr. Wonderful-Dumbass-5xFelon-Dude). Whatever it was that set her off, you had nothing to do with. All those things were in place long before you met her.

I know a couple who attend a Celebrate Recovery thing at their church. Neither were involved in drugs, it was all emotional stuff that they were dealing with, but the steps and support they've gotten from recovering methheads, hookers, and other types has been helpful and encouraging. But whether it's emotional or a physical addiction, they all agree that Jesus can bring them through it. Hang in there, bud. You're appreciated, cared about, and prayed for.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

Thanks muchly.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

shhhhh, you weren’t supposed to tell.

[woollyone]

You asked the question in the title...”what happens when...?”

Well, speakign form very recent experience...
-you get your heart broken
-you see that thsi person is the creature of theri own making...not ours
-you feel terribly sorry to see here destroy herself
-you recognize that if she doesn’t want to help her, you certainly can’t.
-you recognize that since she care so little for herself, how can you expect her to care for you? You can’t expect it.
-you steel your heart for a bit more hurt and confusion to come as you heal.
-you change your habits ot include new activites that restore YOUR soul and YOUR self worth. You cannot change hers, but you can build yours. Do that.
-You steer clear of places and circumstances where you’d see her, or hear from her.
-As time goes on, you ask about her less and less. You vist her myspace page less and less. You check up her less and less.
-As time goes on, you let her go.

Someone here at FR gave me some very good advice. Freeper AperfectLady warned me that my X owuld turn up at a later date appealign for “help” and that she would attmpt to manipulate my emotions. She was 100% correct. It happened. A couple of times.

Be forewarned. Steel your heart.

My pastor has said that it is beter to be single nad happy than married to Miss Wrong.
And when Miss Right comes along, you do not want her to see Miss Wrong on your arm.

Best wishes friend.

Now get your a$$ back to church this Sunday!

;0)

[jrp]

Sorry to hear this Laz. I remember seeing a post where you mentioned you had met someone special. Sorry it didn’t work out, but glad you didn’t find out after you married her. IIRC, you are a gun owner - be careful about bogus restraining orders and such if she decides to get nasty. You could lose your firearms.

[Lazamataz]

A perfect lady and I have been flirtatious for many years here. I owe her an apology. In one of Karen-and-my infamous and steady ‘cycles’, I approached a_p_l on the ‘down side’ of one of those cycles. It was unfair to her. When the Karen/Larry engine kicked back in, I was right back off with Karen.

Please accept my apology.

[A_perfect_lady]

I hate to see all these folks telling you that it wasn't really love, you weren't seeing her real personality, etc etc... that's not for strangers to say. You saw and loved much in her. But there are some things love won't fix, that's all.

On a more practical note, yes, change your locks.

[READINABLUESTATE]

Be thankful, you dodged a bullet.

[woollyone]

AAACK!

Leave it to me to unknowlingly step on my own...necktie!

oops..no offense intended.

~slinking away~

[goldstategop]

They say love is blind. The truth is no human being is going to be perfect or measure up to the romantic and fantasy image people have of the perfect mate. One has to judge a person on more than looks to find a truly compatible match.

[woollyone]

spelchek is my frend
spelchek is my friend
spellcheck is my frend