Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last (hysterical e-mail)
Craigslist - Savannah, GA | 3-23-2009 | Unknown/e-mail

Posted on 05/01/2009 2:48:35 PM PDT by wac3rd

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: banglist; crime; funny; guncontrol
I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol afteryou took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.

You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?

It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.

I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.

I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky ....

- Alex

P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society!

1 posted on 05/01/2009 2:48:36 PM PDT by wac3rd
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: wac3rd
When is someone going to make a 1911 [or similar] in a S&W 0.50?

Or does such a thing already exist?

2 posted on 05/01/2009 2:51:44 PM PDT by KayEyeDoubleDee
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd

2nd Amendment at work against the domestic enemies.


3 posted on 05/01/2009 2:54:57 PM PDT by FormerACLUmember (Chains you can believe in.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd
I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side.

Hopefully, it was a boom-box car.

4 posted on 05/01/2009 2:59:21 PM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedys: Can't fly, can't ski, can't drive, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd

This is the fifth iteration of this story I’ve seen over the last three years...


5 posted on 05/01/2009 2:59:59 PM PDT by vox_freedom (If there were no God, there would be no Atheists. - G. K. Chesterton)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: vox_freedom

I was wondering about that. Some things are just too good to be true. Thanks.


6 posted on 05/01/2009 3:03:09 PM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Politicians always love to talk about "hard work." What the hell would they know about it?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: vox_freedom

I think I have seen only 2 but I wouldn’t mind seeing a few more, maybe even one with a happy ending that I can think of real fast?


7 posted on 05/01/2009 3:05:36 PM PDT by bobby.223
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd

The original Craigslist post has been flagged for removal:

http://savannah.craigslist.org/rnr/982078099.html

However, it has gone from different links such as reddit:

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/7nv39/to_the_guy_who_mugged_me/

and has been dated 3 months ago. It should be on Craigslist’s best of, but we know why Craigslist is based in san Francisco.


8 posted on 05/01/2009 3:05:47 PM PDT by max americana
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd
I have not had a lobotomy yet, so I know this is a creative myth--- nothing more.

It was still fun to read.

9 posted on 05/01/2009 3:06:58 PM PDT by Publius6961 (Change is not a plan; Hope is not a strategy.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: KayEyeDoubleDee
When is someone going to make a 1911 [or similar] in a S&W 0.50?

You must have strong wrists.

10 posted on 05/01/2009 3:18:33 PM PDT by Pearls Before Swine (Is /sarc really necessary?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd

This phony email is funny and all... but we have to be careful that we don’t spread the misconception that all gun owners take the law into their own hands during armed confrontations. What he did to the mugger would get him arrested too.


11 posted on 05/01/2009 3:18:46 PM PDT by BorisTheBulletDodger (Bang!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd

I once had a burglar try to break into a cabin my parents owned. I heard him messing around for several minutes and had time to wake up and clear my head, grab a Browning Hi-Power and wait.

Sure enough, he then tried the door. I opened it and in one motion turned on the lights. I immediately pressed the Browning right between his eyes.

The funny thing is it didn’t even bother him. One would think a cocked and loaded pistol pressed against your forehead would get most peoples attention. He simply said, “hey my car is in the ditch, can you help me”?

The guy looked like a carnival worker, dirty, long hair, and according to a deputy I talked to later, on drugs. He probably was trying to steal a battery out of an RV parked next to the cabin. He had run the one in his car dead. He really was in the ditch.


12 posted on 05/01/2009 3:34:02 PM PDT by yarddog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: BorisTheBulletDodger

I prefer real “gun owners vs. perps” stories, and the NRA sends them along each month with attributable news stories. Truth is better than fiction and besides, they happen almost every day in the US of A.


13 posted on 05/01/2009 3:38:29 PM PDT by vox_freedom (If there were no God, there would be no Atheists. - G. K. Chesterton)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: yarddog

You might find that sticking a weapon between someone’s eyes like that may end up badly for you, if he has good reflexes and a weapon of his own held a bit lower.

Also, it’s not hard to move your head and take away a gun, if it’s held against the front of you — all before the individual holding it can pull the trigger. You don’t want to come within scuffling distance if you have something that negates the need.


14 posted on 05/01/2009 3:43:07 PM PDT by Marechal (In Ulcisci, Fidelitas)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Marechal

Actually I think putting it between his eyes is one of the better ways to confront a person. It might be easier to dodge with your head but it is also a place where the shot is most effective.

From experience, playing with sponge rubber spears, I know that center body mass, the stomach is the hardest thing to dodge tho it might be easier to knock aside with the hands.

The fact that the barrel was placed against his head allowed me to watch the guy’s hands which is where you really need to pay attention.


15 posted on 05/01/2009 4:06:00 PM PDT by yarddog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd

LoL.. Now thats what I’m talking about.. ugh huh...


16 posted on 05/01/2009 4:10:03 PM PDT by hosepipe (This propaganda has been edited to include some fully orbed hyperbole....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd

/


17 posted on 05/01/2009 6:21:19 PM PDT by mowowie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: yarddog; Marechal
I'm old enough to know that if im within arms length of you, that you are just possibly faster than me...

on a side note, when a drunk comes bangin on the door askin for a push...make sure he aint sittin on the porch swing...

18 posted on 05/01/2009 6:21:39 PM PDT by Gilbo_3 ("JesusChrist 08"...Trust in the Lord......=...LiveFReeOr Die...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd

I gotta call shens on this one.

haha.

:)


19 posted on 05/01/2009 6:29:10 PM PDT by KarenMarie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gilbo_3

I have no idea what you are talking about. I suspect you don’t either.


20 posted on 05/01/2009 6:53:28 PM PDT by yarddog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: yarddog

My martial arts instructor regularly demonstrates taking away a gun that’s put in contact with his head. A gun should be held out of arms reach of the perp.


21 posted on 05/01/2009 6:59:52 PM PDT by PapaBear3625 (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money -- Thatcher)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Publius6961

yes - fun to read - almost as fun as Dave Barry’s colonoscopy column.


22 posted on 05/01/2009 8:14:33 PM PDT by RebelTXRose (RESTORE THE REPUBLIC!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: yarddog
dang dude,... 'help me out of the ditch' = 'gimme a push'...drunk on a porch swing...

old joke...lolol...

23 posted on 05/01/2009 9:14:33 PM PDT by Gilbo_3 ("JesusChrist 08"...Trust in the Lord......=...LiveFReeOr Die...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: KayEyeDoubleDee

There are some 1911s in a chambering known as the “.50 GI”.


24 posted on 05/02/2009 1:06:53 AM PDT by SIDENET ("You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: PapaBear3625

If your martial arts instructor actually tells you to try that, unless you know the person intends to shoot you, then he has no business being a martial arts instructor.


25 posted on 05/02/2009 5:30:24 AM PDT by yarddog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: vox_freedom
Truth is better than fiction and besides, they happen almost every day in the US of A.

If the data collected by Professor Gary Kleck of Florida State University are correct it happens approximately 2,000,000 times a year in one way or another in the US, and in the vast majority of those incidents the mere display of a gun results in a successful conclusion of the incident for the intended victims of the criminal aggressor. His research indicates that law abiding Americans use a firearm or the credible threat of using a firearm approximately 2 million times a year in defense of life, limb, or property. Based on his research he estimates that less than 3%-4% of those incidents result in shots fired, and even far less than that estimated number result in death or injury of either party or parties involved in the incident. In fact, he says that most of the incidents that end without injury to either party or shots fired are not even reported to the police for one reason or another.

It's been several years since I read that portion of Dr. Kleck's book, but I'm pretty sure I'm not very far wrong with my off the cuff quotes of the data he came up with in his extensive research on the subject. Of course the anti-gunners say that his data are made up out of thin air with no credible research to back them up, but no anti-gun group or person has been able to disprove his data after they have been in print for well over a decade IIRC. As for his credentials, Dr. Kleck is a full Professor in the College of Criminology and Criminal Justice and a Courtesy Professor of Law at Florida State University, and he has conducted several exhaustive studies and has written many media articles and several scholarly books on the use of privately owned firearms and the Constitutional right of Americans to own and use guns for lawful purposes.

26 posted on 05/02/2009 7:25:12 AM PDT by epow (I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: epow

Thanks epow.


27 posted on 05/02/2009 7:27:56 AM PDT by vox_freedom (If there were no God, there would be no Atheists. - G. K. Chesterton)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: yarddog
If your martial arts instructor actually tells you to try that, unless you know the person intends to shoot you, then he has no business being a martial arts instructor.

Yes, he does emphasize that you only try this if you're pretty sure that the alternative is death or serious injury.

That said, the point of my original post is that holding a handgun up against the head (or anywhere within arms reach) of an assailant renders you vulnerable to a disarm attempt. When holding a criminal at bay, you have no idea what his criminal history is, what else he's wanted for, what drugs might be clouding his judgment, and thus no idea as to what risks he might be willing to take to avoid capture. My original point was that holding a criminal at gunpoint should be done from a distance which allows you to observe all of him, and which is out of his reach.

28 posted on 05/02/2009 8:28:11 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money -- Thatcher)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: wac3rd; SandraD; nuconvert; ex-Texan; Alamo-Girl; quid
I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones.

Funniest read in a loooooong time.

29 posted on 05/02/2009 8:33:00 AM PDT by GOPJ (We sleep safe..because rough men stand ready..to visit violence on those who would do us harm-Orwell)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: GOPJ

LOLOL! Thanks for the ping!


30 posted on 05/02/2009 8:39:30 AM PDT by Alamo-Girl
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: Clive; Steel Wolf; MizSterious; nw_arizona_granny; backhoe; exg; Alberta's Child; albertabound; ...

Funny stuff ping


31 posted on 05/02/2009 8:41:10 AM PDT by GOPJ (We sleep safe..because rough men stand ready..to visit violence on those who would do us harm-Orwell)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: vox_freedom

And don’t you just love it every time? I know I do.


32 posted on 05/02/2009 8:47:27 AM PDT by GOPJ (We sleep safe..because rough men stand ready..to visit violence on those who would do us harm-Orwell)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: GOPJ
And don’t you just love it every time? I know I do.

Yes, I do! And, each time proves the wisdom of the Founding Fathers in our 2nd Amendment freedoms. Taking responsibility for oneself and protection of one's family is critically important especially these days.

Waiting six minutes or more for police response after calling 911 is not "protection" it is "reaction" and a very long wait.

People who think that they are protected by calling 911 should stand at their front door and time what six minutes (or more) is like. It is forever. Meanwhile, a concealed weapon and even a lock box for a pistol can be accessed in literally seconds. I know, since I've timed both.

33 posted on 05/02/2009 8:56:09 AM PDT by vox_freedom (If there were no God, there would be no Atheists. - G. K. Chesterton)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: vox_freedom
Waiting six minutes or more for police response after calling 911 is not "protection" it is "reaction" and a very long wait

Six minutes? how about 25 minutes?

Fifteen or so years ago when my daughter still lived at home she was attacked in our own front yard by a gang of five or six young hoodlums, including two teenage girls, who she had ordered off our property because they were trying to catch her pet kitten with the obvious intention of doing it harm. She got away and ran back into the house and retrieved the .22 revolver which I had bought to use for training her and her brother to shoot and handle guns safely, and then came back outside with it. On seeing the gun the teenage hoodlums skeedaddled, and we thought that the one incident was all that would come of it.

Then a few nights later we heard rapid fire shots being fired in an overgrown field right behind our property. I didn't want to go out in that rough field in the dark to investigate, so I called 911 and reported that someone was firing a gun at our house, which I still believe was true. Sure enough, 25 MINUTES later 2 deputies pulled up in front of the house in a Sheriff's Dept cruiser with blue lights flashing and siren screaming. They searched the field with flashlights, but of course the perps had long since departed the area by then. The deputy who seemed to be in charge told me it was probably just firecrackers we heard, but I have heard more than enough gunshots and firecrackers exploding to know which is which, and those sounds were definitely not caused by firecrackers exploding.

Two of the teenage hoodlums came back a few days later in broad daylight when my daughter was again at home alone and stole one of her pet chickens out of it's cage. (yes, she had made pets out of two chickens along with her cats) She saw what was happening in time to grab the little .22 again and chased them down the road until the little delinquent dropped the chicken and kept on running.

We later learned that the juvvies were staying in an old abandoned house about a half mile away from our place because their 2 sets of parents had left Florida for parts unknown without taking their kids along or even telling them they were leaving. Nice folks huh? Thank God we were able to sell that semi-rural house and property and move to a better neighborhood not long after those incidents.

34 posted on 05/02/2009 10:42:09 AM PDT by epow (I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: vox_freedom
the NRA sends them along each month with attributable news stories

They're my first read when I get mine. Oddly enough tho, many of those incidents occur in Florida. You would think people would learn.......but then they probably don't read or watch the news so they don't know the guy whose house they are going to break in to is probably armed.

35 posted on 05/02/2009 10:52:13 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (This country isn't going to hell in a handbasket, it's riding shotgun in an Indy car....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: SIDENET; Pearls Before Swine
Looks like they really cheated on that "GI" round:
0.50 GI: 326 to 468 ft-lbs

0.40 S&W: 400 to 490 ft-lbs

0.45 AGP: 352 to 518 ft-lbs

0.357 SIG: 410 to 525 ft-lbs

10mm Auto : 728 to 767 ft-lbs

9x25 Dillon: 730 to 881 ft-lbs

Hornady has a S&W 0.50 which makes 2868 ft-lbs at the muzzle, and Winchester has one which makes 2877 ft-lbs.
36 posted on 05/02/2009 10:57:24 AM PDT by KayEyeDoubleDee
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: wagglebee; 50mm; Aleighanne; Alexander Rubin
I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones.

ping

37 posted on 05/02/2009 12:23:35 PM PDT by GOPJ (We sleep safe..because rough men stand ready..to visit violence on those who would do us harm-Orwell)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FormerACLUmember

the ironic thing about this article is that i was multi-processing, that is, reading it while talking to my SIL on the phone and asking her about the Bahamas and whether or not it’s safe. And her answer was “oh yes, it’s very safe. They’re very strict about gun control down there!”


38 posted on 05/02/2009 12:30:58 PM PDT by uncitizen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: KayEyeDoubleDee
Sheesh.

326 to 468 ft-lbs?

I think I could (figuratively) throw the thing harder than that.

39 posted on 05/02/2009 1:48:40 PM PDT by SIDENET ("You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: uncitizen
...reading it while talking to my SIL on the phone and asking her about the Bahamas and whether or not it’s safe. And her answer was “oh yes, it’s very safe. They’re very strict about gun control down there!”

It's always comforting to know criminals who rob, rape and murder won't break "gun control" laws...

40 posted on 05/02/2009 4:30:05 PM PDT by GOPJ (We sleep safe..because rough men stand ready..to visit violence on those who would do us harm-Orwell)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: GodGunsGuts
You will love this... ping
41 posted on 05/02/2009 5:22:27 PM PDT by GOPJ (We sleep safe..because rough men stand ready..to visit violence on those who would do us harm-Orwell)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: GOPJ

LOL!


42 posted on 05/02/2009 5:25:13 PM PDT by GodGunsGuts
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: Hot Tabasco

I also read mine in America’s First Freedom (good interview with John Bolton this month). The NRA website also has an archived database with all kinds of online articles of people defending themselves.


43 posted on 05/04/2009 5:00:40 AM PDT by Old Teufel Hunden (iIt)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson