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Why I Had to Stay Up Half the Night Watching 'G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra'
Newsweek ^ | 08/07/09 | Ramin Setoodeh

Posted on 08/07/2009 1:07:48 PM PDT by OldDeckHand

Paramount was so worried the critics would hate G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra—and with good reason, it's awful—that they decided not to screen it for anybody. Just one problem: the first showing was at 12:01 a.m. on Friday, which means I have all night to tell you how bad it is. Bad. Bad. Bad. It's excruciatingly bad. Gigli bad. How bad are we talking? I chronicled my night:

11:40 p.m.: I arrive to the theater, a little sleepy and slightly giddy that the movie could be so bad that it's good. I ask the older couple on the escalator behind if they're here to see G.I. Joe. No! It's got to be bad, they say, because it wasn't even screened for the critics. They're here to see Meryl Streep as Julia Child.

12:01 a.m.: Showtime. Except not really. I was expecting crowds and G.I. toys and maybe even a few people chanting "All-American Hero" (yes, I was a G.I. Joe groupie back in the day). But the theater is half empty and a woman down the aisle from me is picking her nose.

12:09 a.m.: Trailers. First bad omen: the movies previewed before G.I. Joe include a very bad John Travolta movie and a very bad M. Night Shyamalan movie. Although, in retrospect, neither of them could possibly be as bad as G.I. Joe.

(Excerpt) Read more at blog.newsweek.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Military/Veterans; Music/Entertainment; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: badmovies; dreadful; gijoe; hollywood; horrible; moviereview; movies; worthless
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To: OldDeckHand

It was fun to watch with my 11 year old son.

He liked the redhead.


51 posted on 08/07/2009 10:08:31 PM PDT by Professional Engineer (Need an Angry Mob? Why not call the DNC, they have a wide selection to choose from.)
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To: OldDeckHand

39% Fresh on Rotten Tomatos. Much more mixed reviews than this article implies. The basic rap is that GI Joe is all action and little else. The dialog is an afterthought, or doesn’t add, but as a remaking of a Saturday morning cartoon, they are saying, its ok.


52 posted on 08/08/2009 4:43:57 AM PDT by dalight
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To: JerseyHighlander

Racheal Weisz is a great reason to sit though the first couple of Mummy movies.


53 posted on 08/08/2009 5:14:46 AM PDT by Doohickey (I try to take my days one at a time, but occasionally several days attack me at once.)
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To: Brett66

MST3K forever! They never should have cancelled that show.


54 posted on 08/08/2009 1:06:19 PM PDT by chargers fan (Beat Navy)
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To: Brett66
TORGO TORGO TORGO
55 posted on 08/10/2009 7:13:43 AM PDT by DM1
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To: dalight

The movie wasn’t bad, if you’re looking for a generic action film. My problem with the movie is the G.I. Joe title. There were so many changes made to the 80’s Joe team, I don’t even know why they stuck that name on it. It should have been called “Action Team: Generic Soldiers.”


56 posted on 08/10/2009 7:22:05 AM PDT by LanPB01
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