Skip to comments.Why I Had to Stay Up Half the Night Watching 'G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra'
Posted on 08/07/2009 1:07:48 PM PDT by OldDeckHand
Paramount was so worried the critics would hate G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobraand with good reason, it's awfulthat they decided not to screen it for anybody. Just one problem: the first showing was at 12:01 a.m. on Friday, which means I have all night to tell you how bad it is. Bad. Bad. Bad. It's excruciatingly bad. Gigli bad. How bad are we talking? I chronicled my night:
11:40 p.m.: I arrive to the theater, a little sleepy and slightly giddy that the movie could be so bad that it's good. I ask the older couple on the escalator behind if they're here to see G.I. Joe. No! It's got to be bad, they say, because it wasn't even screened for the critics. They're here to see Meryl Streep as Julia Child.
12:01 a.m.: Showtime. Except not really. I was expecting crowds and G.I. toys and maybe even a few people chanting "All-American Hero" (yes, I was a G.I. Joe groupie back in the day). But the theater is half empty and a woman down the aisle from me is picking her nose.
12:09 a.m.: Trailers. First bad omen: the movies previewed before G.I. Joe include a very bad John Travolta movie and a very bad M. Night Shyamalan movie. Although, in retrospect, neither of them could possibly be as bad as G.I. Joe.
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It was fun to watch with my 11 year old son.
He liked the redhead.
39% Fresh on Rotten Tomatos. Much more mixed reviews than this article implies. The basic rap is that GI Joe is all action and little else. The dialog is an afterthought, or doesn’t add, but as a remaking of a Saturday morning cartoon, they are saying, its ok.
Racheal Weisz is a great reason to sit though the first couple of Mummy movies.
MST3K forever! They never should have cancelled that show.
The movie wasn’t bad, if you’re looking for a generic action film. My problem with the movie is the G.I. Joe title. There were so many changes made to the 80’s Joe team, I don’t even know why they stuck that name on it. It should have been called “Action Team: Generic Soldiers.”
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