Kimber says not to go lower than 125gr, and that 125 and 147gr are the two preferred weights. I'm not sure there's much in between.
A Glock 19 is a good idea for a "starter" 9. Let her get lots of practice with it, so she's confident enough not to be surprised by anything it does. By then, she should have a much better idea of what she wants in something smaller for regular carry. And she'll be more confident in her ability to make an informed choice.
I watched a guy buy a S&W super-lightweight in .38spl. My guess is he figures if she can get five rounds somewhere in the vicinity of downrange, she won't think much about recoil if she needs to use it for-real. My philosophy is that four pounds of solid steel that you have mastered is better than trusting your twelve-ounce wonder weapon that you fired once.
Once I get around to testing, I'm going to take a hard look at my SiG P239 in .357 with the Remington Disruptor rounds.
Love my 239 ....it was bought a 40 and I bought a 357 bbl also .... 40/357 magazines , single stack, can not be used for carry reliability as the geometry is skewed for single stack mags. They will work for the range.... But not for carry .... Don’t trust a 40 mag for a 357 load for personal defense. Get a 40 mag for 40 cal use ect.