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Posted on 10/09/2009 5:51:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Those Norwegians are such practical jokers.
Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales worked on her right shoe with vigor, but it would not budge.
"Harder!" yelled Camilla, "Harder!" Charles yelled back, "I'm trying, my darling! But it's just so blooming tight!""Come on, my prince! Give it all you've got!" she cried.Finally, when the shoe released, Charles let out a loud groan and Camilla exclaimed, "Aaahh! Oh, God, that feels sooo good!"
In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See? I told you with a face like that, she would still be a virgin!"
Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, bloody hell, darling! This one's even tighter!"
To which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy: once a Navy man, always a Navy man!"
Warning: No joke told today can top the one being reported by the AP and all other major news agencies. Those wacky Nobel Peace Prize committee members, who knew they had such a sense of humor?
Giving the Nobel Peace Prize to Obambi cheapens an already worthless award.
I was asked yesterday why NASA couldn’t have arranged the LCROSS impact to happen in prime time instead of first thing in the morning. I said, if it was in prime time, Obama would interrupt the broadcast with a 30 minute infomercial on single payer health care. It looks like he and the Nobel committee found a way to interrupt the LCROSS impact anyway,
The No Bell and Pullet Surprises
Soros the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young laying hens, called pullets, and eight to ten roosters, whose jobs were to fertilize the eggs.
The farmer kept records and any rooster that did not perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Soros time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached a set to each of his roosters. Since each bell had a different tone, Soros could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmers favorite rooster was old Barack, a very fine specimen indeed. But on one particular morning Soros noticed old Baracks bell hadnt rung at all! Soros went to investigate expecting to find old Barack was no longer up to the job.
Soros noticed the other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer Soros amazement, old Barack had his bell in his beak, so it couldnt ring. Hed sneak up behind a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Soros was so proud of old Barack, he entered him in the Oslo County Fair and Barack became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The judges not only awarded Barack the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pullet Surprise as well. Clearly Barack was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they werent paying attention?
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