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The Subtle Art of Beer Snobbery
Modern Drunkard magazine ^ | October, 2009 | Frank Rich

Posted on 11/02/2009 5:15:14 PM PST by dynachrome

While wine snobs have blighted the earth for thousands of years (you can bet there was at least one guy curling his lip at the vintage of Jesus’ first and best miracle), beer snobbery is a relatively young art, especially in the U.S.

This is because every beer in the country once tasted exactly the same. Oh sure, there were Bud lovers and MGD aficionados who would swear they could tell the difference, but if you gave them a blind taste test, you’d soon discover they’d just keep asking for another “test taste” until there wasn’t any beer left and they were passed out on your sofa.

Furthermore, beer was considered the balm of the common man, it was not something you swirled in a glass and judged by its “nose.” It was something you swilled from a plastic cup and sometimes shot through your nose.

Then the microbrewery revolution swept the country and soon every abandoned firehouse, bank and shoe factory was outfitted with a vat and turning out every possible form and flavor of beer you could imagine, and some you would rather not.

(Excerpt) Read more at moderndrunkardmagazine.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Food; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: beer; judging; moderndrunkard; snobs
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Some bad language in the story. Lot's o bad language in other stories! funny stuff, anyway.
1 posted on 11/02/2009 5:15:15 PM PST by dynachrome
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To: GOP_Raider

pingy


2 posted on 11/02/2009 5:15:33 PM PST by dynachrome (I am Jim Thompson!)
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To: dynachrome

Modern Drunkard. I keep intending to subscribe but the cash keeps going toward beer. Nuts.


3 posted on 11/02/2009 5:18:05 PM PST by Fester Chugabrew
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To: dynachrome
Photobucket
4 posted on 11/02/2009 5:19:22 PM PST by digger48
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To: dynachrome

That was hilarious. After a half dozen beers, who cares anyway?

parsy, who prefers Dr. Pepper mixed with Parrot Bay Rum


5 posted on 11/02/2009 5:26:18 PM PST by parsifal (Abatis: Rubbish in front of a fort, to prevent the rubbish outside from molesting the rubbish inside)
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To: dynachrome
Chimay Blue here, please!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!
6 posted on 11/02/2009 5:28:14 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN 1969. St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle!)
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To: dynachrome
Sight: Look at the beer’s label.

Stop right there. If you can read the fine print on the label, you really need another beer. A truly fine beer is graded by a mysterious figure in the corner of the label: a number, usually to one decimal place, and the mystic runes "% Alc." No one really knows where, in the misty reaches of time, this set of characters came to be, but they're nearly infallible.

Now I'm thirsty.

7 posted on 11/02/2009 5:28:33 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: dynachrome

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy - Benjamin Franklin


8 posted on 11/02/2009 5:28:58 PM PST by OldMissileer (Atlas, Titan, Minuteman, PK. Winners of the Cold War)
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To: dynachrome

funny article. The american micro industry is doing ale (and some lagers) as good as anywhere else in the world now, aside from british real ale and some very specific belgian styles.


9 posted on 11/02/2009 5:31:14 PM PST by WoofDog123
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To: dynachrome
I work with a couple of beer snobs who drink...

$12 the bottle

10 posted on 11/02/2009 5:31:14 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: dynachrome

11 posted on 11/02/2009 5:37:02 PM PST by BubbaBasher ("Liberty will not long survive the total extinction of morals" - Sam Adams)
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To: ConorMacNessa

“Chimay Blue here, please! “

Anyone who says all beer tastes the same has not tried Chimay Blue! It’s the Champagne of beers bar none.

Don’t try it unless you want to get absolutely spoiled on $13 per bottle beer.


12 posted on 11/02/2009 5:37:32 PM PST by precisionshootist
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To: mylife

blech

I’ll stick to plain old irish stout.


13 posted on 11/02/2009 5:37:42 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: dynachrome
Cheap wine and expensive beer.  That's my motto.

You can get decent enough red wine for under $12. And while by no means can I say I make a lot of money, life is too short to worry about an extra $2.00 for a six pack of a good beer.  

These are truly wonderous times in which we live. 

14 posted on 11/02/2009 5:38:28 PM PST by MichiganMan (Oprah: Commercial Beef Agriculture=Bad, Commercial Chicken Agriculture=Good...Wait, WTF???)
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To: dynachrome
The Beer Fuehrer

This curmudgeonly gentlemen will declare he would rather guzzle urine than drink what he considers “bad beer.” And by bad he means any beer that comes in a can, has commercials on television, or has been heard of by more than fifty people. He can only pity the poor fools who sit in bars drinking the swill disgorged by the vast corporate vats, when they could be drinking swill produced in much smaller ones.

That hits too close to home.

Now I need a bottle of Bell's.

15 posted on 11/02/2009 5:38:31 PM PST by Darren McCarty (We do what we have to do.)
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To: precisionshootist

champagne of beers??

Isn’t that budweiser, or miller high life, or something like that?


16 posted on 11/02/2009 5:38:40 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: mylife

Looks like Guinness. At $12 a bottle, I’d rather be drinking Guinness.


17 posted on 11/02/2009 5:39:59 PM PST by Darren McCarty (We do what we have to do.)
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To: ConorMacNessa

Beer snob! L0L


18 posted on 11/02/2009 5:42:13 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mamelukesabre

I’ll drink just about anything that doesn’t say “Lite”


19 posted on 11/02/2009 5:45:45 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: dynachrome
there is another funny artical at that site;
All Star Alcoholics
http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/55/55-all-star-alcoholics.html
20 posted on 11/02/2009 5:45:59 PM PST by Kid Shelleen (Keep your socialized health care off my body !!)
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To: dynachrome

LOL!

I like Keystone light!

Got sumpin’ to say about it!


21 posted on 11/02/2009 5:46:03 PM PST by Randy Larsen ( BTW, If I offend you! Please let me know, I may want to offend you again!)
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To: Darren McCarty

Believe me it aint Guinness.


22 posted on 11/02/2009 5:46:19 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mylife

Great stuff. Ever try Maudite or Le Fin du Monde (hope I got the spellings right!) from Canada?


23 posted on 11/02/2009 5:46:58 PM PST by Buck W. (The President of the United States IS named Schickelgruber...)
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To: mylife
And proud of it! Somewhat ironically, my eldest son introduced me to the delights of Chimay.

Lamh Foistenach Abu!
24 posted on 11/02/2009 5:47:44 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN 1969. St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle!)
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To: Buck W.

Try it? I cant even say it!


25 posted on 11/02/2009 5:47:58 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mylife

ultralite?


26 posted on 11/02/2009 5:49:46 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: ConorMacNessa

A couple of guys at work are hooked on the stuff.

They say Paulaner Salvatore tastes like swill by comparison L0L!


27 posted on 11/02/2009 5:50:29 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Randy Larsen

bitterbeerface.


28 posted on 11/02/2009 5:51:12 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: mamelukesabre

Ahhhh! my Freepin eyes!


29 posted on 11/02/2009 5:51:12 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mylife
"Lite" is the quintessential perversion of beer - Make mine heavy, please!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!
30 posted on 11/02/2009 5:51:19 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN 1969. St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle!)
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To: dynachrome

Personally prefer Henry Weinhard’s Classic Reserve as my everyday beer. Kinda a sort of beer snob wannabee, and am sorting out what I like from what I don’t still...can’t drink much because of medical issues, so it’s gotta taste good.


31 posted on 11/02/2009 5:51:54 PM PST by Knitting A Conundrum (Without the Constitution, there is no America!)
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To: mamelukesabre

high life


32 posted on 11/02/2009 5:53:12 PM PST by KingNo155
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To: mamelukesabre
Ultralite = ANATHEMA!!!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!
33 posted on 11/02/2009 5:53:19 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN 1969. St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle!)
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To: ConorMacNessa

I agree.

I like a substantial beer


34 posted on 11/02/2009 5:53:32 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mamelukesabre

35 posted on 11/02/2009 5:54:31 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mylife

And you won’t after you’ve had one! They’re similar to Chimay.


36 posted on 11/02/2009 5:54:39 PM PST by Buck W.
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To: mylife
Here's to the man who drinks strong ale and goes to bed quite mellow!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!
37 posted on 11/02/2009 5:55:11 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN 1969. St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle!)
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To: dynachrome
Yuengling Lager
38 posted on 11/02/2009 5:56:09 PM PST by linn37 ( "The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples money.)
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To: mylife

Uhmmm...no.

I didn’t say a thing about ears.


39 posted on 11/02/2009 5:56:53 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: Buck W.

Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm

40 posted on 11/02/2009 5:57:23 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: ConorMacNessa

Indeed


41 posted on 11/02/2009 5:58:01 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: dynachrome
A minor digression here...

Not that the beer is any good (!), but does anyone know what happened to Michelob Aspen?

CA....

42 posted on 11/02/2009 5:58:27 PM PST by Chances Are (Whew! It seems I've at last found that silly grin!)
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To: mylife
He is a jolly, jolly fellow - he'll live to be a hundred!

Lamh Foistenach Abu!
43 posted on 11/02/2009 5:59:10 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN 1969. St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle!)
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To: ConorMacNessa

44 posted on 11/02/2009 6:00:47 PM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: dynachrome

Please tell me the writer isn’t the NY Times Frank Rich, who is an ass and who I find hard to believe could be a beer aficionado.


45 posted on 11/02/2009 6:00:52 PM PST by Defiant (The absence of bias appears to be bias to those who are biased.)
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To: mylife
My son, the Sultan of Suds, strongly approves of La Fin Du Monde.

Lamh Foistenach Abu!
46 posted on 11/02/2009 6:01:30 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN 1969. St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle!)
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To: BubbaBasher

47 posted on 11/02/2009 6:01:48 PM PST by Disciplinemisanthropy (III III IV)
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To: ConorMacNessa

You wanna try something truly nasty?

pour a glass of this and let it warm up. Then taste it.

http://www.steelbrewing.com/

I kid you not, it is the nastiest beer on the planet. It will make ultralite taste like sam adams.


48 posted on 11/02/2009 6:01:59 PM PST by mamelukesabre (Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (If you want peace prepare for war))
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To: mylife

I have a 24 oz. Kilt Lifter in the fridge that scares me to death at 8%...


49 posted on 11/02/2009 6:02:06 PM PST by Randy Larsen ( BTW, If I offend you! Please let me know, I may want to offend you again!)
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To: mylife
Salvator is an old fave.

Lamh Foistenach Abu!
50 posted on 11/02/2009 6:02:22 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN 1969. St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle!)
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