Skip to comments.Let The Tiger Jokes Begin...
Posted on 12/03/2009 6:03:15 AM PST by Bushbacker1
Let 'em begin:
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between the iron or the wood.
Tiger just hates it when he drives and his balls hit a tree.
His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks like she really went for the driver.
Did you hear that he inspired a new Kung Fu movie to be released? "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant."
Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning? Then you can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.
Tiger just lost his endorsement with Gillette because now they can't use his ad in which he says, "This was my closest shave yet."
Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She's teaching Phil Mickelson how to beat Tiger.
What do Tiger and Elin have in common? They both try to club his balls as hard as possible.
Tiger's confused. Every OTHER time he made a hole-in-one, everyone was all happy about it.
Usually Tiger makes it onto the fairway, but he's in trouble on this round because he put one into the bush.
Did you hear about Tiger's last outing? He drove into a tree, then ended up with a bad lie.
What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger? Looks like it was a bitching wedge.
Tiger Woods has a lot of nice cars, but now he has a hole in one.
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 350 yards.
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
Even the world’s best golfer cannot play every lie.
He’s changed his name from “Tiger” to “Tom Cat”
Women agree, Mrs. Woods should have employed an iron.
Men agree, Mr. Woods should have employed a driver.
And to think I thought “Woods” was a reference to a driver.
“Go in the hole” will be replaced with “Hey, where the White women at?”
The Woods haven’t come out of the house to go to the grocery store. They must be living off “hot tongue” and “Cold Shoulder”.
Well well, my question about the obsession with the destruction of a family and the elevation of a home-wreaker gets pulled.
But a joke posting about the Woods gets to stay.
OK I get it.
They are hiding in that house.
I wonder what they are eating or doing with their time?
Obviously Woods has access to his cell phone and internet (haha).
Put a Tiger in your skank........
That’s what my friend heard on the radio. Tiger Woods has had a name change. He will no longer be called Tiger; henceforth he will be known as “Cheetah.”
Nike dropped Tiger’s endorsement deal; they said his balls are uncontrollable
"PS. Michelle says only date Black women from now on!"
I don't follow the "Celebrity Threads" unless they concern our administration, then I occassionally open them up.
Frankly, I wish the press would IGNORE Tiger & his wife, but that isn't going to happen. The majority of the populace want that type of "news" and are uninterested in anything political. Current Events to them is sports & fashion & Hollyweirdos.
A friend told me she heard on the radio that Tigers name has been changed. He will not be called Tiger anymore; henceforth he is known as, Cheetah.
Cheetah Woods..LOL! (works for me)
Released for Xmas 2009, Ang Lee’s classic remade :
Crouching Tiger, Passion Wagon.
Sheesh, your quick. (Great FReepers FReep alike. ;))
The warning written on Tigers side view mirror reads: Swedish women bearing 3 irons are closer than they appear!
He could tell the skanks he's a Detroit Tiger and ask them if they wanna play ball.
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and baby seals? Nothing. They both get beat with clubs by Scandinavians.
I have and use a 64 degree wedge regularly. Then again I’m a 19 handicap
I’m amazed that any guy with a wife like that could stray, i mean is he blind, stupid or just can’t keep it in his pants
In his defense Tiger was only following the Nike motto--just do it.
He wouldn’t have this trouble if he only spent less time practicing his putz on other courses.
How many Tiger Woods jokes does it take to difuse the media attention that should be given to Climategate, Afghanistan and Obamacare?
I play with a guy that had a 60 degree wedge and skulled it every time he had it in his hands. I bought it off of him for $10 and I’ve holed out twice from about 25 yards. I think he wants it back.
All of the above? And let’s not give the skanks involved in this a free pass. They should be known for what they are: skanks and ho-bags.
Ok, so it has turned into a zoo.
The news isn't, but the jokes are.
Shank you very much!
What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and David Letterman? Tiger Woods never broke any Human Resources Policies at CBS - haw haw haw - oh wait, that’s not funny.
What do Tiger Woods and Pres Obama have in common?
They both blame everything on Bush.
Tiger’s love life, up until recently, has been like that Nike Golf commercial. He could juggle it, and then hit it on the fly.
No it was in Chit chat.
IMHO, the guy’s has seriously serious issues that go to the core of his being. Seems like he’d cheat with just about anyone, with no thought whatsoever to the dangers...forget getting caught! What about contracting and passing on an STD...how ‘bout HIV? Who the heck knows these days! Just plain lunacy. Hard to think of someone like Tiger as stupid or ignorant, but to take such great risks...where does that come from?
He made a hole in two, just not on the green!
Sounds like you use it twice on every hole.
First day I used it I chipped in from off the green twice. One for birdie and one for par. Since then more skulling than not. Only when there is is plenty of grass underneath is when I’ll use it now....
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