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Let The Tiger Jokes Begin...
Self | 12-3-09 | Bushbacker1

Posted on 12/03/2009 6:03:15 AM PST by Road Warrior 04

Let 'em begin:


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: humor; jokes; tiger; tigerwoods; woods
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What do Tiger Woods and baby seals have in common? They're both in danger of being clubbed by Norwegians!

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between the iron or the wood.

Tiger just hates it when he drives and his balls hit a tree.

His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks like she really went for the driver.

Did you hear that he inspired a new Kung Fu movie to be released? "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant."

Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning? Then you can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.

Tiger just lost his endorsement with Gillette because now they can't use his ad in which he says, "This was my closest shave yet."

Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She's teaching Phil Mickelson how to beat Tiger.

What do Tiger and Elin have in common? They both try to club his balls as hard as possible.

Tiger's confused. Every OTHER time he made a hole-in-one, everyone was all happy about it.

Usually Tiger makes it onto the fairway, but he's in trouble on this round because he put one into the bush.

Did you hear about Tiger's last outing? He drove into a tree, then ended up with a bad lie.

What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger? Looks like it was a bitching wedge.

Tiger Woods has a lot of nice cars, but now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 350 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

1 posted on 12/03/2009 6:03:15 AM PST by Road Warrior 04
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To: Bushbacker1

Even the world’s best golfer cannot play every lie.


2 posted on 12/03/2009 6:05:53 AM PST by pogo101
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To: Bushbacker1

He’s changed his name from “Tiger” to “Tom Cat”


3 posted on 12/03/2009 6:06:15 AM PST by kittymyrib
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To: Bushbacker1

Women agree, Mrs. Woods should have employed an iron.

Men agree, Mr. Woods should have employed a driver.


4 posted on 12/03/2009 6:06:45 AM PST by pogo101
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To: pogo101

And to think I thought “Woods” was a reference to a driver.


5 posted on 12/03/2009 6:08:29 AM PST by dangus (Nah, I'm not really Jim Thompson, but I play him on FR.)
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To: kittymyrib

“Go in the hole” will be replaced with “Hey, where the White women at?”

The Woods haven’t come out of the house to go to the grocery store. They must be living off “hot tongue” and “Cold Shoulder”.


6 posted on 12/03/2009 6:08:36 AM PST by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
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To: kittymyrib

Cheeta...


7 posted on 12/03/2009 6:08:42 AM PST by gov_bean_ counter (Sarah Palin - For such a time as this)
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To: Bushbacker1

Well well, my question about the obsession with the destruction of a family and the elevation of a home-wreaker gets pulled.
But a joke posting about the Woods gets to stay.
OK I get it.


8 posted on 12/03/2009 6:10:21 AM PST by Marty62 (former Marty60)
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To: massgopguy
No kidding.

They are hiding in that house.

I wonder what they are eating or doing with their time?

Obviously Woods has access to his cell phone and internet (haha).

9 posted on 12/03/2009 6:12:04 AM PST by GI Joe Fan (GI Joe represents Real American Heroes, not a bunch of globalist drones.)
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To: Bushbacker1

Put a Tiger in your skank........


10 posted on 12/03/2009 6:12:14 AM PST by Lovely-Day-For-A-Guinness (Eenie meanie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak....)
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To: gov_bean_ counter

That’s what my friend heard on the radio. Tiger Woods has had a name change. He will no longer be called Tiger; henceforth he will be known as “Cheetah.”


11 posted on 12/03/2009 6:12:21 AM PST by hennie pennie
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To: Bushbacker1

Nike dropped Tiger’s endorsement deal; they said his balls are uncontrollable


12 posted on 12/03/2009 6:13:11 AM PST by jilliane
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To: Bushbacker1
"I hereby pardon Tiger Woods of any wrong-doing, I will fire any divorce-court judge that takes this case! ...that White-Girl acted stupidly! ...all of 'em"

"PS. Michelle says only date Black women from now on!"

13 posted on 12/03/2009 6:13:24 AM PST by TexasCajun
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To: kittymyrib

Cheetah


14 posted on 12/03/2009 6:13:53 AM PST by ButThreeLeftsDo (Fight Crime. Shoot Back.)
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To: Marty62
I have no idea what happenned to your thread, was it a vanity? Or was it an actually published article with a URL to where it's posted online?

I don't follow the "Celebrity Threads" unless they concern our administration, then I occassionally open them up.

Frankly, I wish the press would IGNORE Tiger & his wife, but that isn't going to happen. The majority of the populace want that type of "news" and are uninterested in anything political. Current Events to them is sports & fashion & Hollyweirdos.

15 posted on 12/03/2009 6:16:24 AM PST by hennie pennie
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To: Bushbacker1; hennie pennie
From FReeper hennie pennie on another thread...

A friend told me she heard on the radio that Tiger’s name has been changed. He will not be called Tiger anymore; henceforth he is known as, “Cheetah.”

Cheetah Woods..LOL! (works for me)

16 posted on 12/03/2009 6:16:29 AM PST by PGalt
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To: Bushbacker1

Released for Xmas 2009, Ang Lee’s classic remade :

Crouching Tiger, Passion Wagon.


17 posted on 12/03/2009 6:16:38 AM PST by sunmars
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To: Bushbacker1

Great post.


18 posted on 12/03/2009 6:17:33 AM PST by A Cyrenian
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To: hennie pennie

Sheesh, your quick. (Great FReepers FReep alike. ;))


19 posted on 12/03/2009 6:17:41 AM PST by PGalt
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To: Bushbacker1
Leave Tiger Alone!


20 posted on 12/03/2009 6:18:08 AM PST by TexasCajun
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