Skip to comments.More young adults moving back in with parents
Posted on 03/02/2010 12:41:19 AM PST by jerry557
Scott Letzter thought when he moved away to college that he had left his childhood home for good.
His plan was to graduate, launch his career and live on his own. But at 24, Letzter is living at his parents house in Johnsburg, still sleeping in the bedroom he had as a child.
I thought I would have more of a steady job, something that gets me on the right path to what I would call a career, Letzter said. I dont really feel like theres any job security.
Letzter is part of a growing demographic called Boomerang Kids, adults who move back in with their parents after living independently.
Recent studies show this living arrangement is on the rise. And not only does living with mom and dad signal a delay of other life plans, it can create challenging situations at home and be disappointing to otherwise ambitious millennials.
According to a survey by the Pew Research Center, one-in-10 adults between ages 18 and 34 said the crippled economy caused them to move back in with their parents. Fourteen percent of young adults said they postponed having a baby, and 15 percent postponed marriage because of the recession.
A lot of us feel like, we go to college and get the right job, and life will be in an upward trajectory, said Elina Furman, author of Boomerang Nation. But were seeing it now: You can work as hard as you want and look for a job for years but, in this economy, its hard to find.
(Excerpt) Read more at nwherald.com ...
The last 40 years of liberalism and government has destroyed the American dream. This country is now broke. We are going to leave our kids with a $12 trillion debt bill, a bankrupt social security system, and a bankrupt medicare system. You want someone to blame for these kids failure to launch, you only need to look in the mirror.
Look at all the well-qualified people out there who are going months and even years without finding a job. If they cant find one with their resumes, how can you expect a young adult with limited experience to find a career that makes enough cash to support themselves?
Another question..is this really a bad thing? Most societies around the world, having children live at home into adulthood is perfectly normal. Children take care of their elders. Instead in America we send them off to 3rd parties (nursing homes). Maybe this is what we will soon end up with in America. I mean do you really think these kids are ever going to have the money to park your big butt in a nursing home?
Unless this country changes direction quickly...we are in for massive culture shock.
My parents were married at 24 and lived in my mother’s parents’ home for five years. This was from 1944 to 1949.
No shame in it at all. Why should perfectly good living space go to waste, just for the sake of conforming to a convention that everyone must have his own house?
We are in a Depression, and in a Depression, people have to make do. When we have an American in the White House again, maybe we will get out of the Depression.
Don’t waste years looking for a salaried job...create your own job, instead.
Employers are currently *swamped* with hundreds of resumes per day for any salaried job opening; if you get hired into a salaried job today, this year, or within the next 5 years, you have essentially won the job lottery. Congrats! Most people wont be so lucky. Mailing off your resume is roughly the same as buying a lotto ticket; very similar odds now.
So what to do instead of emailing thousands of resumes...or instead of giving up and eating chips on your couch all day long?
Make your own job. Fish. Sell your catch. Pan for gold in national parks. Cut firewood. Recycle aluminum cans. Drive a taxi. Buy a tow truck. Put an ad up on Craigslist.org that you will haul large trash away and clean up property.
Learn locksmithing (vacant, foreclosed homes need their locks changed).
Teach firearms safety. Baby sit kids. Teach swimming. Teach sailing. Be the local parasail guy. Teach surfing. Scavenge tires from tire store discard piles. Grow/sell veggies. Be a sharecropper. Be a share-rancher (e.g. run cattle on someone elses land by paying them a grasslease fee).
Make your own job. Grab a metal detector and walk the beach. Search for treasure.
Brew your own bio-diesel and sell your surplus. Get the proper permits and make your own moonshine or beer. Ditto for tobacco; handroll specialty cigars.
Make your own job.
Our oldest is 26, she will be moving in this month. The cost of living along with a couple of bad choices, she’ll be fine just a second launch.
I think what parents should do is downsize immediately into a smaller house after the last child turns 18, eliminating all those extra bedrooms, which would encourage the young adults to grow up and be independent (and rent a room with lots of roommates, whether or not they attend college; no one “needs” granite countertops even if they grew up with them). . .
And I’m not one of our resident “crotchety geezer Freepers;” I’m Gen X, 40 years old, with teens, who know that I’ll love them forever and welcome them home for visits; but at 18 I expect them to move out, get an education (I’ll help), and get a job, even if low-paying and “beneath them.”
An added benefit of this downsizing would be a freeing up of all these big houses so the those with large growing young families could afford them.
It’s better than having a MIL move in. Trust me.
Its empty nest syndrome in reverse.
I suspect many liberal young adults never left home to begin with.
Same here, my son moved back in with me and pays half the expenses. It helps me, as my wages were cut.
Same with my parents. They were married in 1949 and lived for awhile w/my grandparents. Then they lived in an apartment in my grandfather’s business, rent was free but they had do work(in addition to their regular jobs) in exchange for the free rent.
I feel for kids today. Our son has an advanced degree, he has a good job, pays his bills, lives on his own, but the pay compared to salaries in the near past is low. Plenty to pay his way, but as I said, he has the weight of a Bachelors and Masters degree.
Big companies in our town are taking advantage of the glut of workers and paying pretty low salaries which is just supply and demand playing out in our economy. I saw a couple ads last week for accountants at major firms and they were paying $35,000...I don’t know what a “normal” salary for that field is, but that seemed low.
So moving back in w/parents, might be the wise thing to do for some of these kids...but that doesn’t mean the parents should give them a free ride. I guarantee the last thing a 20 something kid wants to do is live with their parents.
When I was in my twenties, in the mid-80s, I needed a place to live while I got started, so I was with my family for 16 months. I worked like a dog and got out as soon as I could, so I could get on with my life and they could get on with theirs. I wouldn’t say it was good for them, but I had no other choice. As soon as I had another choice, I took it.
And, BTW, that choice was not an “upward trajectory”. I went from well off to pretty damn poor. But I was poor and independent, and the poverty did not last for long. Even in the mid-80s in Michigan (with 14% unemployment), there was a place for a young man willing to work hard.
So, I’m not knocking it. But it should be a temporary arrangement for the purposes of establishing independence. The problem, for many, is that it is a comfortable trap, that they are not willing to abandon until something better comes along. They should be prepared to abandon it for something much worse, because that something worse will be the foundation on which they build their own lives.
Of course, one of the worst provisions of Obamacare is the extension of medical care to “children” up to the age of 27. This just institutionalizes the problem, and gives people a strong financial incentive to stay in the trap.
If I were a young person starting out today, I would learn how to lay ceramic tile. People who can lay tile make really good money, and their skill is always in short supply. It is a skill that can be learned quickly and fairly cheaply. Go down to the local Home Depot and get some plywood, some cheap tile and a tile cutter. Lay the tile down in various arrangements and figure out how all of the angles work. Peel it off, and do it again, and again and again. In a little while, you'll be pretty good at it.
In a few weeks, you can be doing jobs (for the cost of materials) for friends and acquaintances. Do a good job and take lots of pictures. Tell them they don't have to pay you, but they do have to write you a reference. That work can then be the portfolio you use to land paying jobs.
It is good-paying work with low barriers to entry. And, in it's way, it is beautiful.
Locksmithing is a smart idea. I’ll mention that to my oldest son, who says he never wants to be a corporate employee.
During my first semester at college, my mother sold my furniture and moved her tax office into my former bedroom. When I got home, she said, “Nice to see you, when are you leaving? The next guest needs the room starting January 15.”
Ooh, another good idea for the boy who’s handy with his hands. The hardware stores even offer a free half-day instruction course fairly regularly. I’ll have to check the schedule.
And you’re right about the Obamacare provision for “children” in their late 20s. Just as in Europe, it would be one more reason for people to avoid forming their own households indefinitely. Drops your native birthrate down to practically zero, which increases the “need” for Moslem immigrants. Hmmmm ... could there be a plan, there?
It’s karma - the older set has dumped all kinds of debt on the kids, and ruined the economy for them.
Ironically, what FDR’s program of Social Security did drove families apart, (by giving kids an excuse not to look after their aging parents) and the laws of economics he violated in doing so are bringing families back together.
1. Many "Baby Boomers" are not retiring, nor will they retire at the early age they thought they would. Their "201K" took care of that. There is not enough room for the younger people when this happens.
2. The cost of housing, insurance, gas, groceries, automobiles, etc is still very high. There are not a lot of jobs where a young person can receive a starting salary and pay for everything they need to pay for. Despite the Great Recession, we have only seen prices for most things (including TUITION!) go way up.
I got one of these next door. Nice enough kid till he decides to "practice" his guitar. He opens his bedroom window and practices the same riffs for five to seven minutes. He's awful. I can't understand why he does it with the volume all the way up on his amp. I don't understand why he wants the whole neighborhood to know he can't play the guitar?
Now THAT I can also agree with.
My boss had her MIL move into her home. The woman gets her dead husbands pension, annuity checks, social security, and has a big savings account.
Her daughter in law pays for her car payment, car insurance, food, and charges no rent. The MIL contributes nothing to the home financially. She does work outside the home part time, but all of that money is "hers." The MIL likes to go to Atlantic City every weekend to spend time with her friends, check into the Tropicana, and blow a few hundred here and there.
It’s the marijuana. ;)
Bump for reference.
Twenty-three years later, she's still way out of my league, but we're still together!
Many “kids” come along way after their parents’ early struggles. They only experience life after parents have paid their dues. They are traumatized when they must leave and struggle in their early independence. Some parents support the extension of their child’s dependence (sometimes inadvertently). They make convenient excuses for their child’s inability to enter the struggle necessary to establish their independence. DIMs like this because it establishes a lifelong dependence and weakness.
Der Prinz and I, who got married when we were young and broke, just had our 21st anniversary. We lived in apartments for years after that.
Having a large family encourages the children to move out as soon as possible ... although our oldest now admits home - with her own room - was pretty comfortable compared compared to sharing a berth with 20 other young lady seamen on the Coast Guard cutter.
Ha, I feel your pain.
Daughter # 1 picked a flat out loser as her first pick. Took her 18 months to see what we saw in the first meeting. Had to move back in to sort things out.
Second pick is much much better and we hope things work out for them.
I had one of those next door. I went down to Best Buy and picked out a nice set of headphones for about $45, wrapped them up, put the kid's name on the package and left them (anonymously) on the door-step.
Ah, the blissful silence from that day on...
He still makes noise when he practices with his buddies, but all of his picking is done with the head-phones.
Lots of young adults living at home in New England, as highest in the nation property taxes have driven rents north of $1000 per month. That’s rough on those just ‘starting out’. Down south, where property taxes are lower; I noticed many young couples out living on their own...rents are more affordable.
“Another question..is this really a bad thing? Most societies around the world, having children live at home into adulthood is perfectly normal. Children take care of their elders. Instead in America we send them off to 3rd parties (nursing homes). Maybe this is what we will soon end up with in America. I mean do you really think these kids are ever going to have the money to park your big butt in a nursing home?”
I couldn’t agree more. I grew up in a multi-generation household. My kids are now growing up surrounded by 2 generations of role models and maybe that will give us an edge over all the bad influences waiting for them out in the world.... and the thought of ever institutionalizing either of my parents in some nursing home leaves me cold, it’s just not what we as a family do.
A three bedroom apartment renting for @$900 is $300/per month when three people are paying rent.
Most 1 bedroom apartments in my part of the country go for @500-700.
It’s Simple Math
When times are tough -Bunk Up
Just happened to catch this part while browsing. Laughing at this one ;) Thanks.
>>Most 1 bedroom apartments in my part of the country go for @500-700.<<
In Massachusetts? - really?! My pleasant but simple 1BR in northern NJ is $1,300.
We voted the liberals in power and didn’t pay attention to what they were doing when times were good.
freeing up of all these big houses so the those with large growing young families could afford them.
What big families?
I don't live near Boston :)
I can see this both ways- it all hinges on the relationship between the parents and adult kids.
For one, the parents typically own a larger home- more home than they need for just them. Having an adult child in the house not only makes descent use of the space, but also provides many older parents with a sense of security.
Another thing to consider is that the parents’ home is likely equipped with lots of perks- appliances, televisions, cable/satellite, perhaps a pool. Why would the kid want to throw money away on renting an apartment and furnishing it? Instead of watching the big game on a TV on a couple of crates, he could watch it on his parents’ plasma.
The last thing to consider is where is the kid going? While having a job and choosing to live at home while saving up for a down payment on a house or to pay cash for a car is one thing. Smoking pot and playing guitar in the basement (to quote a recent Offspring song) all day everyday is something completely different.
I’m on of those 20’s (21 year old) children living at home. However, I am here because my parents asked me to move back in after graduating in December (trust me I was the one kicking and screaming to leave. I wanted to prove myself, my parents just shrugged it off as why would anyone not want to live at home). I stay with my grandmother who lives with us to help her and my father shoots me some design jobs through friends. He wants to start a magazine with me, and he is an amazing business man, but we just in the earliest stages.
But I’m lucky I guess, I have a chance to build up my portfolio, when the media market is horrendous and I am enjoying building up relationships with my family. I really didn’t have close ones when I was younger, but now that I’m older I can relate to my parents so much better. Most of my male friends can’t find jobs either. They are either going back to school or starting there own businesses.
Ah... you have much wisdom. It does make a big difference. I’m about 20 miles northwest of NYC, and it’s pricey here, but it’s all relative: In the city itself, I’d be paying double or triple, and the place would stink of cigarettes and rat droppings.
“But I was poor and independent, and the poverty did not last for long. Even in the mid-80s in Michigan (with 14% unemployment), there was a place for a young man willing to work hard.”
You were not poor, you were broke. Being poor is a state of mind, being broke is a temporary situation.
My children have moved home and away a number of times, and not all because of the current economic crisis. It’s what families do.
Note to self: Move. Leave no forwarding address. Send adult kids pleasant emails every week.
Where do you live at those prices?
Even getting a rental these days isnt easy. Landlords want perfect credit scores. And they dont like the idea of 3 20-something boys sharing a little apartmment. They assume it will be trashed.
In this economy NOBODY wants to assume any risk at all. We have gone from one extreme (risking everything which is what got us into this mess) to not risking anything at all (which is preventing us from recoving from this mess).
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