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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?
unknown

Posted on 06/27/2010 6:45:41 PM PDT by tisket

Someone sent this to me in an email and I thought you might enjoy it.

-----------------------------

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

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Democrat's Answer:

* Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

* Does the man look poor or oppressed?

* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

* Could we run away?

* What does my wife think?

* What about the kids?

* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

* What does the law say about this situation?

* Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

* Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

* Should I call 9-1-1?

* Why is this street so deserted?

* We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

* Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

* I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

* This is all so confusing!

-----------------------------

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

-----------------------------

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG!BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!' 'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
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To: BreezyDog

When I called my gun smith about the Springfield, he sold me on a Smith & Wesson M&W model 45 ACP.

I’m happy with my purchase; how’s the Springfield?


51 posted on 06/27/2010 7:36:37 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear (Does not play well with others)
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To: kbennkc
There are some who think just because it was a movie , Harry never really capped those punks either . Cynical bustards .

LOL - "I just gots to know..."

Mine is an 8 3/8" - I should have seen the difference, but I haven't gazed eyes on my .44 for quite a while. It sits in the safe awaiting its next assignment. Or, I should say, its first assignment.

52 posted on 06/27/2010 7:40:02 PM PDT by meyer (Big government is the enemy of freedom.)
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To: Jack Hydrazine
FAE - Fuel Air Explosive.

That looks like it should work pretty good if you are attacked by my old Utah school. I think K through 12, but nobody I knew went to K and everybody I knew was kicked out by 10 . Does that seem redneck ?

53 posted on 06/27/2010 7:40:31 PM PDT by kbennkc (For those who have fought for it freedom has a flavor the protected will never know .F Trp 8th Cav)
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To: Grizzled Bear

I’m very happy. It is my 1st handgun. I’m very accurate at the range with it. Now the DPMS AR-15 is dead on at 200 yards. So much fun.


54 posted on 06/27/2010 7:41:17 PM PDT by BreezyDog
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To: magslinger

>>My wife loads hers with nachos. He is a deadly weapon so loaded.<<

I remember my beloved cat so loaded. He is the most dangerous thing on that bedspread!


55 posted on 06/27/2010 7:41:43 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (The frog who accepts a ride from a scorpion should expect a sting and the phrase "it is my nature.")
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To: kbennkc

You might be a redneck if your whole class was kicked out of school by 5th grade!


56 posted on 06/27/2010 7:48:00 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: BreezyDog
Oops! Mine should be “M&P” model!

I found a H&R model 649 .22 Wheel Gun for my wife. The first day out she was a bit reluctant but fell in love with shooting. We've only got the LR cylinder. I'd like to find a replacement .22 Magnum cylinder.

57 posted on 06/27/2010 7:57:31 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear (Does not play well with others)
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To: sig226

Nice guard/attack cat.


58 posted on 06/27/2010 8:00:54 PM PDT by devildognc (We've lasted through the preliminary bouts; the main event is coming up. But it's not for sissies.)
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To: tisket

Thanks for posting that old joke. It turned out to be one “H” of a good thread full of chuckles, and some outright belly-laughs.


59 posted on 06/27/2010 8:06:55 PM PDT by rockinqsranch (The Left draws criminals as excrement draws flies. The Left IS a criminal organization.)
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To: thecodont

LOL!


60 posted on 06/27/2010 8:09:06 PM PDT by FourPeas (God Save America)
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To: FourPeas; sig226

Seriously, #16 is a prime candidate for icanhascheezburger.com. This would be an excellent addition to it. However, because the site seems to have a left-leaning flavor, I don’t know if they’d allow it to be posted.


61 posted on 06/27/2010 8:15:52 PM PDT by thecodont
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To: freedumb2003
What the heck do you load the cat with?

It's for the catapult out back.

/johnny

62 posted on 06/27/2010 8:17:34 PM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: freedumb2003
He is the most dangerous thing on that bedspread!

That is because the firearms have safeties and if you don't squeeze the trigger they won't fire. There is no telling when a loaded cat will go off.

63 posted on 06/27/2010 8:17:55 PM PDT by magslinger (If recycling makes cents as well as sense, I am all for it.)
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To: JRandomFreeper

Catapults are on the bow or the waist, never the stern.


64 posted on 06/27/2010 8:23:20 PM PDT by magslinger (If recycling makes cents as well as sense, I am all for it.)
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To: tisket

I say I am a redneck !


65 posted on 06/27/2010 8:28:03 PM PDT by CORedneck
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To: Grizzled Bear

I had my Mom shooting both the XD40 and the AR15 about a month ago. She took to it like a duck to water...


66 posted on 06/27/2010 8:29:24 PM PDT by BreezyDog
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To: tisket

RE: Wife: You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist

What is WRONG with that woman?!?!


67 posted on 06/27/2010 8:32:48 PM PDT by Gil4 (Sometimes it's not low self-esteem - it's just accurate self-assessment.)
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To: tisket

Conservative.


68 posted on 06/27/2010 8:36:58 PM PDT by Randy Larsen ( BTW, If I offend you! Please let me know, I may want to offend you again!(FR #1690))
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To: CORedneck

Charlie Daniels... A few more rednecks...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N69WDIHrQ4w


69 posted on 06/27/2010 8:39:47 PM PDT by tflabo (Restore the Republic)
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To: ez

Genuine suburban Chicago redneck here, and I have reason to believe that I was born in the wrong century. Oh well, I suppose an Islamic terrorist will just have to do as a substitue for a Lakota warrior.


70 posted on 06/27/2010 9:06:01 PM PDT by JayVee (Joseph)
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To: sig226
Has the cat qualified on all those?

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

71 posted on 06/27/2010 9:06:17 PM PDT by wku man (Who says conservatives don't rock? Go to www.myspace.com/rockfromtheright)
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To: tisket

Redneck daughter needs some educatin’. Winchester Silvertips are hollow points. Maybe change it to Winchester Silvertips or Federal Hydra-Shocks next time.


72 posted on 06/27/2010 9:14:31 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( - Eccl. 10:18 -)
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To: tisket

i do believe i have always been a redneck.


73 posted on 06/27/2010 9:17:30 PM PDT by 1st Division guy
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To: tisket

Another bona fide redneck coming in hot.


74 posted on 06/27/2010 9:39:02 PM PDT by 60Gunner (Yep.)
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To: tisket

ping to a funny


75 posted on 06/27/2010 9:50:59 PM PDT by LongElegantLegs ( I have nothing better to do than sit around all night watching a lunatic not turn into a werewolf.)
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To: AggieSteph

Ping! :)


76 posted on 06/27/2010 10:28:40 PM PDT by JDW11235 (I think I got it now!)
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To: AggieSteph

Ping! :)


77 posted on 06/27/2010 10:28:52 PM PDT by JDW11235 (I think I got it now!)
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To: tisket

Ping


78 posted on 06/27/2010 10:52:57 PM PDT by nathanbedford ("Attack, repeat, attack!" Bull Halsey)
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To: sig226

I like cats and I like guns, but there is no way I’m letting my furry little monsters anywhere near that bed. Because somehow, someway they’d manage to fire every gun until empty and maybe reload. Can’t trust those critters for one minute.


79 posted on 06/27/2010 11:07:11 PM PDT by sanjoaquinvalley (Long Time Lady Lurker)
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To: tisket

What about if I use the gun like a club just because I don’t want to waste bullets on somebody holding a knife?


80 posted on 06/27/2010 11:10:02 PM PDT by NorthStarStateConservative (I'm just another disabled naturalized minority vegan pro life conservative.)
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To: tisket

I’ve gotten this one in email soooo many times. It still makes me laugh LOL.


81 posted on 06/27/2010 11:16:56 PM PDT by Trillian
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To: hiredhand

LMAO.... Your troops get married you better have a plan B .

Then you could build em all homes there .....:o)


82 posted on 06/28/2010 3:57:37 AM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet)
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To: Squantos
That's the plan! We're like "The Firm". NOBODY leaves. :-) So far, nobody wants to! ...which is a good thing. :-)
83 posted on 06/28/2010 5:52:50 AM PDT by hiredhand
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To: kbennkc

No beer, no shotgun, no chaw, and that don’t look like no double-wide to me.

Not a redneck. :p


84 posted on 06/28/2010 6:05:30 AM PDT by sig226 (Mourn this day, the death of a great republic. March 21, 2010)
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To: NorthStarStateConservative

You’re a libertarian?


85 posted on 06/28/2010 6:08:42 AM PDT by smokingfrog ( - Eccl. 10:18 -)
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To: freedumb2003

I laid out the guns to take the picture and kitty decided that was the place to be. She stayed there and watched carefully as I placed each gun. She wanted to make sure I handled them properly. She’s a hellacious RO.


86 posted on 06/28/2010 6:25:03 AM PDT by sig226 (Mourn this day, the death of a great republic. March 21, 2010)
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To: sig226
Photobucket

I got the bases mostly covered , but thanks for the checklist. They hadn't invented doublewides when I built this old house. They really made it easy by putting axles under that tornado bait.

87 posted on 06/28/2010 8:05:36 AM PDT by kbennkc (For those who have fought for it freedom has a flavor the protected will never know .F Trp 8th Cav)
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To: sig226

Damn sig!

Ya better get a bigger bed!


88 posted on 06/28/2010 5:14:52 PM PDT by Randy Larsen ( BTW, If I offend you! Please let me know, I may want to offend you again!(FR #1690))
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