Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?
unknown

Posted on 06/27/2010 6:45:41 PM PDT by tisket

Someone sent this to me in an email and I thought you might enjoy it.

-----------------------------

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

-----------------------------

Democrat's Answer:

* Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

* Does the man look poor or oppressed?

* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

* Could we run away?

* What does my wife think?

* What about the kids?

* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

* What does the law say about this situation?

* Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

* Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

* Should I call 9-1-1?

* Why is this street so deserted?

* We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

* Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

* I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

* This is all so confusing!

-----------------------------

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

-----------------------------

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG!BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!' 'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-88 next last
To: FourPeas; sig226

Seriously, #16 is a prime candidate for icanhascheezburger.com. This would be an excellent addition to it. However, because the site seems to have a left-leaning flavor, I don’t know if they’d allow it to be posted.


61 posted on 06/27/2010 8:15:52 PM PDT by thecodont
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 60 | View Replies]

To: freedumb2003
What the heck do you load the cat with?

It's for the catapult out back.

/johnny

62 posted on 06/27/2010 8:17:34 PM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: freedumb2003
He is the most dangerous thing on that bedspread!

That is because the firearms have safeties and if you don't squeeze the trigger they won't fire. There is no telling when a loaded cat will go off.

63 posted on 06/27/2010 8:17:55 PM PDT by magslinger (If recycling makes cents as well as sense, I am all for it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 55 | View Replies]

To: JRandomFreeper

Catapults are on the bow or the waist, never the stern.


64 posted on 06/27/2010 8:23:20 PM PDT by magslinger (If recycling makes cents as well as sense, I am all for it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 62 | View Replies]

To: tisket

I say I am a redneck !


65 posted on 06/27/2010 8:28:03 PM PDT by CORedneck
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Grizzled Bear

I had my Mom shooting both the XD40 and the AR15 about a month ago. She took to it like a duck to water...


66 posted on 06/27/2010 8:29:24 PM PDT by BreezyDog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 57 | View Replies]

To: tisket

RE: Wife: You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist

What is WRONG with that woman?!?!


67 posted on 06/27/2010 8:32:48 PM PDT by Gil4 (Sometimes it's not low self-esteem - it's just accurate self-assessment.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tisket

Conservative.


68 posted on 06/27/2010 8:36:58 PM PDT by Randy Larsen ( BTW, If I offend you! Please let me know, I may want to offend you again!(FR #1690))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: CORedneck

Charlie Daniels... A few more rednecks...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N69WDIHrQ4w


69 posted on 06/27/2010 8:39:47 PM PDT by tflabo (Restore the Republic)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 65 | View Replies]

To: ez

Genuine suburban Chicago redneck here, and I have reason to believe that I was born in the wrong century. Oh well, I suppose an Islamic terrorist will just have to do as a substitue for a Lakota warrior.


70 posted on 06/27/2010 9:06:01 PM PDT by JayVee (Joseph)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 50 | View Replies]

To: sig226
Has the cat qualified on all those?

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

71 posted on 06/27/2010 9:06:17 PM PDT by wku man (Who says conservatives don't rock? Go to www.myspace.com/rockfromtheright)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: tisket

Redneck daughter needs some educatin’. Winchester Silvertips are hollow points. Maybe change it to Winchester Silvertips or Federal Hydra-Shocks next time.


72 posted on 06/27/2010 9:14:31 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( - Eccl. 10:18 -)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tisket

i do believe i have always been a redneck.


73 posted on 06/27/2010 9:17:30 PM PDT by 1st Division guy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tisket

Another bona fide redneck coming in hot.


74 posted on 06/27/2010 9:39:02 PM PDT by 60Gunner (Yep.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tisket

ping to a funny


75 posted on 06/27/2010 9:50:59 PM PDT by LongElegantLegs ( I have nothing better to do than sit around all night watching a lunatic not turn into a werewolf.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: AggieSteph

Ping! :)


76 posted on 06/27/2010 10:28:40 PM PDT by JDW11235 (I think I got it now!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: AggieSteph

Ping! :)


77 posted on 06/27/2010 10:28:52 PM PDT by JDW11235 (I think I got it now!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: tisket

Ping


78 posted on 06/27/2010 10:52:57 PM PDT by nathanbedford ("Attack, repeat, attack!" Bull Halsey)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sig226

I like cats and I like guns, but there is no way I’m letting my furry little monsters anywhere near that bed. Because somehow, someway they’d manage to fire every gun until empty and maybe reload. Can’t trust those critters for one minute.


79 posted on 06/27/2010 11:07:11 PM PDT by sanjoaquinvalley (Long Time Lady Lurker)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: tisket

What about if I use the gun like a club just because I don’t want to waste bullets on somebody holding a knife?


80 posted on 06/27/2010 11:10:02 PM PDT by NorthStarStateConservative (I'm just another disabled naturalized minority vegan pro life conservative.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-88 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson