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Birds Shrinking Due To Global Warming, Will Disappear By 2035
Altered News ^ | 8/3/2010

Posted on 08/03/2010 10:54:54 AM PDT by GSWarrior

Songbirds in the US are getting smaller, and climate change is suspected as the cause.

A study of almost half a million birds, belonging to over 100 species, shows that many are gradually becoming lighter and growing shorter wings. This shrinkage has occurred within just half a century in response to warmer temperatures, and at this rate, many may disappear by 2035.

In biology, there is a general rule of thumb that animals tend to become smaller in warmer climates: an idea known as Bergman’s Rule. Usually this trend can be seen among animal species that live over a range of latitude or altitude, with individuals living at more northern latitudes or higher up cooler mountains being slightly larger than those below. But global warming has thrown this process into overdrive, and many of the birds in North America will soon become so small, they will literally wink out of existence.

A black-capped chickadee is half as large as it cousins of thirty years ago The WWF funded study examined the weight and size of 48 individual birds that had been caught and measured at the ringing station from 1961 to 2007. What the scientists found was striking. The birds in North America are getting small. Lead Ornithologist Steve Martin was laughed at when he first proposed his thesis, but his critics are laughing no more.

The differences in size are stunning.

“On average, the decline in mass of spring migrants over the 46 year study was 50%. That’s shocking as a young boy changing shoe sizes in reverse” says Doc Martin. The rose-breasted grosbeak has declined in mass by about 40%, while the Kentucky warbler has dropped 30.3% in weight and the scarlet tanager 20.3%.

The trend is particularly noticeable among those birds that have bright colors.

“In one obvious sense, the consequences are positive,” says Dr Rajendra Pachauri, head of the IPCC. “Now people will have to take global warming and the IPCC more serious, or else we will lose the ability to buy downy blankets or goose feather pillows”.

“Luckily, India has few birds, and this problem is not seen in the bird populations in my country, so we in India will not have to cut our greenhouse gas emissions” he added.

Dr. Martin laments “When we take pictures, we ask you to ‘watch the birdie’. Future generations will have no idea what that means and will think you’re cuckcoo. It’s really tragic”.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: satire
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1 posted on 08/03/2010 10:54:59 AM PDT by GSWarrior
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To: GSWarrior

Good.

2 posted on 08/03/2010 10:55:56 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: GSWarrior

They’ve all gone low carb


3 posted on 08/03/2010 10:56:55 AM PDT by albie
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To: GSWarrior
In biology, there is a general rule of thumb that animals tend to become smaller in warmer climates:

Right, which is why most of the worlds largest land based animals all live in.....sub Sahara Africa.

Do these clowns even bother to think before they publish this utter BS?

4 posted on 08/03/2010 10:57:29 AM PDT by MNJohnnie (The problem with Socialism is eventually you run our of other peoples money. Lady Thatcher)
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To: GSWarrior

....laughs.....laughs....laughs....laughs....

There are some people who actually believe this. :(


5 posted on 08/03/2010 10:57:43 AM PDT by Tzimisce (No thanks. We have enough government already. - The Tick)
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To: GSWarrior
"In biology, there is a general rule of thumb that animals tend to become smaller in warmer climates"

Someone should tell that to the African elephant!

6 posted on 08/03/2010 10:59:07 AM PDT by Jewels1091
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To: GSWarrior

The writer at Altered News has been practicing altered states.


7 posted on 08/03/2010 10:59:47 AM PDT by hoe_cake ( Society of the Descendants of the Signers of the Constitution)
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To: GSWarrior

If it can’t be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion.

LAZARUS LONG


8 posted on 08/03/2010 11:00:05 AM PDT by HuntsvilleTxVeteran ((B.?) Hussein (Obama?Soetoro?Dunham?) Change America Will Die From.)
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To: GSWarrior
Austin grackles Pictures, Images and Photos

No more grackles? Awww...

9 posted on 08/03/2010 11:00:42 AM PDT by Snickering Hound
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To: hoe_cake
I wondered why that pigeon looked like a hummingbird....

Now I know........

10 posted on 08/03/2010 11:01:36 AM PDT by Osage Orange (MOLON LABE)
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To: GSWarrior

11 posted on 08/03/2010 11:03:46 AM PDT by GSWarrior (I'm from the government and I'm here to change the climate.)
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To: GSWarrior
And since they're unable to fly or migerate or even catch a bus, they have to stay rooted right where they are and just shrink down to nothing.

Look, I love birds, actually, but there are hundreds of thousands more killed by cats --- and tens of thousands more killed by windmills, for gaia's sake --- than those affected by (cough) global (cough) warming.

12 posted on 08/03/2010 11:03:46 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (ANTHROPOGENIC CONTINENTAL DRIFT: for when global warming isn't silly enough anymore.)
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To: Jewels1091

Giraffes, Rhinos, and Hippos asked to be on the memo list, too.


13 posted on 08/03/2010 11:04:30 AM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: GSWarrior

If the new crop of sparrows in the neighborhood is any indicator I suspect this may be all wrong. The little beggers are as bad as rabits!


14 posted on 08/03/2010 11:04:30 AM PDT by Sunshine Sister
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To: GSWarrior

Yes, well... There’s a funny story related by Kjell Aukrust, Norwegian writer, abut his brother Odd Aukrust who grew up to be the nation’s leading statistician. Using charts, statistical method and deep historical digging he proved, without a shadow of a doubt, that at the time of the battle of Stiklestad not one of the combatants could be seen above the grass and that the only thing that could be seen was a few arrows (small ones) making it over the grasstops.

I see science is still on the same track, only reversed.


15 posted on 08/03/2010 11:05:33 AM PDT by Hardraade (I want gigaton warheads now!!)
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To: Sunshine Sister

Oops......should be rabbits!


16 posted on 08/03/2010 11:05:43 AM PDT by Sunshine Sister
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To: Tzimisce

You mean birds are not really shrinking? Does the president know about this?


17 posted on 08/03/2010 11:05:52 AM PDT by GSWarrior (I'm from the government and I'm here to change the climate.)
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To: GSWarrior
Birds Shrinking Due To Global Warming
I thought birds were descendants of dinosaurs.
If so, how could they survive millions of years of climate change, but now they go extinct in a few decades?
18 posted on 08/03/2010 11:05:52 AM PDT by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: GSWarrior

Caption: “They don’t make ‘em like they used to...*urp*”


19 posted on 08/03/2010 11:06:08 AM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: MNJohnnie

You didn’t know that Dinosaurs thrived in an icy climate? LOL! These clowns are relentless in their complete idiocy and they want everyone to know it. They are Cliff Claven on steroids.


20 posted on 08/03/2010 11:07:57 AM PDT by HerrBlucher (In the White House the mighty White House the Liar sleeps tonight.............)
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To: GSWarrior
The blades of those giant crapola windmills are slicing and dicing more birds than any possible warming or cooling ever will. These ecofreaks are moving way beyond being just annoying.
21 posted on 08/03/2010 11:09:04 AM PDT by JPG (Journolist diva, Sarah Spitz? No, she swallowed the whole Mongrel agenda.)
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To: GSWarrior

Is this sattire? I know nothing about birds or science but this article is wrought with bs,


22 posted on 08/03/2010 11:09:10 AM PDT by goseminoles
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To: GSWarrior

Thanks for a good laugh. The site is hilarious, especially the rendition of “The Homicidal Squirrel.” Beware: squirrels are developing a taste for human flesh due to global warming!


23 posted on 08/03/2010 11:11:46 AM PDT by Bernard Marx (I don’t trust the reasoning of anyone who writes then when they mean than.)
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To: martin_fierro

Dig your car out from this bad boy.

24 posted on 08/03/2010 11:13:07 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Live jubtabulously!)
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To: GSWarrior

What? I thought COLD weather caused shrinkage.


25 posted on 08/03/2010 11:15:33 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Hang in there, baby! November's comin'...)
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To: GSWarrior

The trouble with projections is the assumption that a trend (i.e. birds becoming smaller) is going to continue on the same trajectory. Very often, things don’t.


26 posted on 08/03/2010 11:15:37 AM PDT by KosmicKitty (WARNING: Hormonally crazed woman ahead!!)
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To: GSWarrior

More science sacrifices at the alter of environmentalism in the church of political correctness. Like Obama, they seem oblivious to the damage to their own credibility.


27 posted on 08/03/2010 11:17:07 AM PDT by Spok (Liberalism is more of a mood than a philosophy. -Robert Bork)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

That’s the sumbitch that pooped on my clean car the other day. I’m renting an antiaircraft cannon.


28 posted on 08/03/2010 11:18:05 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Jewels1091

The rule applies to species. Whitetail deer are much smaller in their southern ranges than the northern. Reason: ability to retain heat. Volume increases as a cube...taller, wider animals increase volume relative to surface area...don’t radiate as much heat.


29 posted on 08/03/2010 11:21:25 AM PDT by gundog (Why is it that useful idiots remain idiots long after they've exhausted their usefulness?)
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To: GSWarrior
Somewhat clumsy satire but how many Eco websites will pickup? Of course, the truth is that birds will become giants that will eat us. We're doomed (or is it domed)
30 posted on 08/03/2010 11:21:51 AM PDT by JimSEA
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To: GSWarrior

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/crap.wav


31 posted on 08/03/2010 11:22:39 AM PDT by BenLurkin (Will must be the harder, courage the bolder, spirit must be the more, as our might lessens.)
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To: GSWarrior

Ok every one at once “ Where have all the birdies gone here in 2010? Where have all the birdies gone? Playing and singing in he summer wind!” Ok hippy tune off!


32 posted on 08/03/2010 11:32:32 AM PDT by crazydad
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To: Purdue Pete

Saving...


33 posted on 08/03/2010 11:37:27 AM PDT by Purdue Pete
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To: GSWarrior

The GW idiots are grasping at straws now.


34 posted on 08/03/2010 11:38:21 AM PDT by Buckeye Battle Cry (Enjoy nature - eat meat, wear fur and drive your car!)
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To: GSWarrior

Climate change causes global shrinkage??


35 posted on 08/03/2010 11:38:33 AM PDT by FourPeas (God Save America)
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To: GSWarrior

“I like the red ones the best”


36 posted on 08/03/2010 11:41:37 AM PDT by Taffini ( Mr. Pippen and Mr. Waffles do not approve and neither do I)
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To: MNJohnnie

“Right, which is why most of the worlds largest land based animals all live in.....sub Sahara Africa.”

Yes, but the elephants that live in Canada are larger than those that live in sub Sahara Africa..


37 posted on 08/03/2010 11:45:37 AM PDT by pieceofthepuzzle
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To: MNJohnnie

LOL, great point man, sheeze ....


38 posted on 08/03/2010 11:46:54 AM PDT by Scythian
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To: GSWarrior
Lead Ornithologist Steve Martin was laughed at when he first proposed his thesis, but his critics are laughing no more.

"How can they tell you're small?"

"They give you a test -- it's a balloon -- if you can get inside -- they know -- you're small --"

"OK, kids, we're movin' now ... We're having some fun -- here at the fabulous Boarding House ..."

39 posted on 08/03/2010 11:48:22 AM PDT by bassmaner (Hey commies: I am a white male, and I am guilty of NOTHING! Sell your 'white guilt' elsewhere.)
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To: Scythian


They are getting smaller as compared to this photo my great grand pappy took.
40 posted on 08/03/2010 11:48:46 AM PDT by Scythian
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To: Taffini
So, if animals tend to be smaller in warmer climates...and man is an animal...then what?

Will man, down in the Amazon, shrink into nothing, while his counterpart man, up at the North Pole, will grow the size of the Jolly Green Giant?

Jeeze these people who come up with these theories do not think past their short noses.

41 posted on 08/03/2010 11:50:33 AM PDT by CitizenM ("Do you miss me yet?" Yes, George, we do.)
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To: GSWarrior
Just remember: they used to be as big as dinosaurs.


42 posted on 08/03/2010 11:54:35 AM PDT by paulycy (Demand Constitutionality: Marxism is Evil.)
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To: Billthedrill
That’s the sumbitch that pooped on my clean car the other day. I’m renting an antiaircraft cannon.

It's your own damn fault for washing your car. Birds never poop on a dirty car.

43 posted on 08/03/2010 11:57:21 AM PDT by Fresh Wind (For the first time in half a century, there is no former KKK member in the US Senate.)
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To: GSWarrior

““Right, which is why most of the worlds largest land based animals all live in.....sub Sahara Africa.”

Yes, but the elephants that live in Canada are larger than those that live in sub Sahara Africa..”

I was going to make the same point- polar bears in Africa tend to be smaller.


44 posted on 08/03/2010 11:58:56 AM PDT by mgpilot
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To: GSWarrior
In biology, there is a general rule of thumb that animals tend to become smaller in warmer climates:

Yeah, that explains the elephants in Africa, and the emu in Australia.


Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

45 posted on 08/03/2010 12:02:06 PM PDT by The Comedian (Evil can only succeed if good men don't point at it and laugh.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
What? I thought COLD weather caused shrinkage.

Ever notice how, after getting out of a cold pool, you can't find...it?

46 posted on 08/03/2010 12:30:22 PM PDT by JaguarXKE
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To: GSWarrior

Wasn’t there a web site somewhere that attempted to archive all the things purported to be caused by GW?


47 posted on 08/03/2010 12:32:58 PM PDT by JaguarXKE
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To: JaguarXKE
Speak for yourself.

; ]

48 posted on 08/03/2010 12:34:38 PM PDT by GSWarrior (I'm from the government and I'm here to change the climate.)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Is that Rodan?


49 posted on 08/03/2010 12:40:17 PM PDT by Seeking the truth (0cents.com - Are you sick of Obama - visit this site!)
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To: GSWarrior

The pool water was warm I tell you...warm!!!...hot even!!!

50 posted on 08/03/2010 12:50:38 PM PDT by Stand Watch Listen (It's the 'Land of Opportunity'... NOT... the 'Land of Entitlements'!!!)
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