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$~$~$~THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD~$~$~$

Posted on 04/08/2011 5:59:12 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

What to Expect from a Government Shutdown

So there is the possibility of a government shutting down coming up. The Democrats seem to want it because they think it will be politically advantageous, but those guys would support a Nazi invasion of the U.S. if they thought politically advantageous to them. Still, I think maybe the government shutdown would be a good thing. I mean, if we just shut the whole thing down, that’s basically the only way to ensure we don’t spend anymore money. And maybe we can just declare bankruptcy on the federal government and forget all that debt and be done with it.

Anyway, here’s what to expect from a government shutdown:

* All legislators will now have to find real jobs, but there are few places that consider voting yes and no on lots of stuff as qualifying experience — and certainly they won’t be $200,000 a year for that.

* If you were dependent on any sort of welfare from the federal government, you’re probably gonna die. Sorry!

* With no federal government, there won’t be any enforced rules of engagement for troops overseas. In fact, you guys are just basically wandering ronin now. So if you see someone you think needs a killin’, just go ahead and shoot him.

* Obama will end up on the side of the road with a sign saying, “Will make impotent proclamations for food.”

* Federal prisons will shut down and all the prisoners will escape. They’ll probably have an easier time finding gainful employment than the legislators.

* U.S. currency will no longer be supported, so you’ll need to get your money in something that will last the government shutdown such as Facebook credits.

* Without the federal government, each state will now become an independent country. If your state wants to invade Kentucky and steal all its gold, you better be quick about it because I bet a lot of other states have the same idea.

* Without a big federal government to push everyone around, liberals won’t know what to do with themselves and will all die off during the winter. Too bad winter is about over so it will be a while until that happens.

* There will be no federal enforcement of borders, so it will be up to the states now without any outside interference. That means you can finally build that fence to keep Californians out.

* The U.S. Postal service will shutdown, which means you’ll only be able to use Netflix instant streaming as they’ll no longer be able to get you DVDs. If the post office shutting down affects you in any other way, then come on; get with this century, people.

* You know that guy who always yells at you when you try to climb the statue of Abraham Lincoln, well he ain’t gonna be there no more so no one is going to stop me!

Some people will then plot on how to get the federal government running again, but I think that’s pretty wrong-headed. Eventually, we should adjust just fine to no federal government and probably be better off in the long run. A federal government seemed like an interesting idea, but it was just unworkable. Well, let’s just dust off those Articles of Confederation and give those a try again.

So who has a truck and can help me steal a T-Rex from the Smithsonian?




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Follow the Twitter Feed: if government shuts down. Some of the comments are hilarious.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: friday; govshutdown; nomoney; ofst
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To: Lucky9teen

Monkeys are soo disgusting....


21 posted on 04/08/2011 6:34:55 AM PDT by Fawn (No--bama 2012)
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To: MissNomer

22 posted on 04/08/2011 6:35:05 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: MissNomer

23 posted on 04/08/2011 6:35:59 AM PDT by workerbee (We're not scared, Maobama -- we're pissed off!)
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To: ShadowAce

“$~$~$~THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD~$~$~$”
***********************

Myself, I prefer the term, “Big Sh!tty Friday”

*****


24 posted on 04/08/2011 6:37:14 AM PDT by gunnyg ("A Constitution changed from Freedom, can never be restored; Liberty, once lost, is lost forever...)
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To: ShadowAce; workerbee

Wow! You both made my day! Four minutes after my post, and I have not one but two responses! Thanks!


25 posted on 04/08/2011 6:44:20 AM PDT by MissNomer
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To: gunnyg

gunnyg,

That’s about what (BSF) it is for me. I work for the Navy, soooooooo..........unpaid vacation (furlough) if no signing.

These buttheads have had SIX MONTHS to get this done. The Dems shouldn’t blame the Pubs, half of that time the Dems were still in control.


26 posted on 04/08/2011 6:49:02 AM PDT by fredhead (Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
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To: Lucky9teen

IN! (Finally!)


27 posted on 04/08/2011 6:51:36 AM PDT by Monkey Face ("...By small and simple things are great things brought to pass...." Alma 37:6)
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28 posted on 04/08/2011 7:02:32 AM PDT by Baynative (Truth is treason in an empire of lies)
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To: Lucky9teen
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

The Friday Sports section

29 posted on 04/08/2011 7:15:54 AM PDT by Sax
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To: Lucky9teen


30 posted on 04/08/2011 7:18:52 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Visualize)
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To: Lucky9teen
So now that my 69 beetle is done, I thought I would tear down the engine that came with the donor body. Don't know how many years this engine had set since it last ran. Look what I found in #3 cylinder.



I have never seen stalagtites of rust before. Good part is that the cylinders are replaceable, and everything else looks good.
31 posted on 04/08/2011 7:24:02 AM PDT by fredhead (Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
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To: fredhead

Just hit it with a wire brush - it’ll be alright.


32 posted on 04/08/2011 7:27:10 AM PDT by Sax
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To: JoeProBono

Remember that liberals will be changing their light bulbs from the round types to the mercury-filled curly-type -- and do not walk under their ladders.

33 posted on 04/08/2011 7:28:10 AM PDT by pikachu (After Monday and Tuesday, even the calender goes W T F !)
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To: pikachu
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
34 posted on 04/08/2011 7:28:55 AM PDT by Sax
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To: fredhead
Hey--at least the brakes were decent:


35 posted on 04/08/2011 7:29:04 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: fredhead

A little WD-40 will take care of that.

/sarc


36 posted on 04/08/2011 7:29:32 AM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: ShadowAce

Don’t think there’s enough material there to turn those rotors. Might have to replace them.


37 posted on 04/08/2011 7:34:08 AM PDT by Ronald_Magnus
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To: Ronald_Magnus

Nah—she’s still got a few more miles left in them.


38 posted on 04/08/2011 7:35:01 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

Not real funny but anyway

A woman, married three times, walked
into a bridal shop one day and told the
sales clerk that she was looking for a
wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

“Of course, madam,” replied the sales
clerk, “exactly what type and color are
you looking for?”

The bride-to-be said: “A long frilly
white dress with a veil.”

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then
said, “Please don’t take this the wrong
way, but gowns of that nature are
considered more appropriate for brides
who are being married the first time -
for those who are a bit more innocent,
if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory
or sky blue would be nice?”

“Well,” replied the customer, a little
peeved at the clerk’s directness, “I
can assure you that a white gown would
be quite appropriate. Believe it or not,
despite all my marriages, I remain as
innocent as a first time bride.

You see, my first husband was so
excited about our wedding, he died
as we were checking into our hotel.
My second husband and I got into
such a terrible fight in the limo on
our way to our honeymoon that we
had that wedding annulled immediately
and never spoke to each other again.”

“What about your third husband?”
asked the sales clerk.

“That one was a Democrat,” said the
woman, “and every night for four years,
he just sat on the edge of the bed and
told me how good it was going to be,
but nothing ever happened..”


39 posted on 04/08/2011 7:35:12 AM PDT by sunny48
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To: Ronald_Magnus

Nah—she’s still got a few more miles left in them.


40 posted on 04/08/2011 7:35:13 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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